Catch a Falling Star

Before you go into panic mode, let me clearly state: No college or high school was actually foolish enough to invite Mickey to give the commencement address to its graduates. So, don’t worry about a generation of our youth actually taking to heart the advice Mickey is about to give and ruining our world for the next twenty years. This is just the insane drivel that Mickey would say if some superintendent, principal, or college dean were actually stupid enough to ask.

The most impressive commencement speech I remember from my life in education was given in 1974 by my favorite high school English teacher, Mr. Sorum. He was a gifted speaker and told a mean joke whenever a joke was needed to make the point.

He talked for forty-five minutes about “Taking the next bite of the hot dog.”

Of course, he was talking about a metaphor where the hot dog was a life of being a good citizen and living in service to the greater good. High school graduation, in this speech, was the first bite of the hot dog. Some of us were listening to what Mr. Sorum was actually saying. My second bite of the hot dog was to get an English degree from Iowa State University. My third bite was a teaching degree from the University of Iowa. The fourth was choosing a life of service by being a public school English teacher. So, I followed his advice.

Most of my class, though, took that speech to mean life was all about eating hot dogs. Was I wrong? Do I need to rethink my life?

If I am going to give advice to today’s graduates, the advice I would have to give is, “For God’s sakes, don’t choose to be a public school teacher! Do you have any idea how hard that job is for how little reward (practically none of it in money?)”

So, what advice do I have for actually doing something with your life that helps with the common good?

The most important one; “After you go to the bathroom, flush! Gol dangit! And afterwards, wash your danged hands!“

You wouldn’t believe what kind of bacteriological nightmares are being placed in your hand daily if you have a job where you are supposed to regularly shake hands.

Another key recommendation;; “Stop being so gosh-darned ugly!”

Of course, you know that this is not a matter of whether you have a pretty face or you scare rats in dark rooms. This is a matter of behavior. A matter of how many people you hate and treat with scorn and injustice, as well as who you routinely hate, and why you hate them. Hating anyone for any reason is not good for their health and is even worse for yours.

And a final thought about how to improve the world; “Figure out what and who you love in this world. Everyone needs to have something and someone to love and work at sharing your life energy with.” People need other people and they need a purpose, even if they have to forge that purpose out cardboard, imagination, and thin air.

If, by chance, you can already handle all of these things that idiot Mickey is lecturing you about, especially if these things come naturally to you, then totally ignore that first dumb thing Mickey said. Think seriously about becoming a teacher. What you have we desperately need more of. And with your expertise passed on to others, we might just be able to make more of it.

There is a deal that will be voted on to prevent default. Of course, there are still threats to the process. The Republicans that are sane enough to avoid default will probably be punished for their sanity by the rabid base and MTG (I do appreciate how accurately the cartoonist above portrays her teeth-grinding madness.)

Of course, this doesn’t make the Republicans any less evil. They still desire to give all the plumbs to the wealthy elite and corporate heads. They have no mercy, empathy, or even pity for the rest of us.

Yes, they are evil. With three exclamation points.

They will not stay defeated even when their evil has been punished in multiple elections. They will do any evil thing necessary to stay in power.

Joe Biden solved the many fundamental problems Don Cheetoh Trumpaloney caused with tax cuts for billionaires that reduced our government’s income, and mishandling of the Covid pandemic crisis that caused a million deaths, half of which should have been prevented, and crashing the economy because of both of the previous missteps. Joe had the economy coming back, the employment rate at the highest levels in fifty years, inflation overcome after painful measures, and a needed infrastructure bill that was years late in being passed. But Republicans can’t have that. They need Grandpa Joe to be unsuccessful so they can continue to corruptly enjoy power. So, like the mobster criminals they are, they took a hostage and threatened to kill it unless all the progress made is undone.

They have no right to refuse to pay the government’s debts. The budget negotiations are the proper place to make the changes they want. But they are going to have what they want by extortion, or they will wreck the world economy by defaulting on the debt. Solely because they are determined to have everything they want, and no one else matters to them.

They want to control everything school children read and think and learn, but they will not protect them from murderers with AR-15s by passing sensible gun laws. And they want schools to all be private so white kids of rich households don’t have to deal with minorities or poor kids. Public-school-type kids can learn in prison or on the job in the meat-packing plant.

They want to prevent voting by anyone they can identify as a possible Democratic voter. No black people. No Hispanics. No liberals. No young people who are not identifiably Young Republicans. No Jews. And definitely no Muslims.

And they want to be able to tell you what to think, how to worship, how hard to work, and to accept the lowest possible pay for it.

They are the worst sort of selfish, single-minded, melodrama villains. And if Grandpa Joe and Dudley Dooright are going to get us off the railroad tracks in only a week, they both need to stop riding the white horse backwords.