So, President Cheetoh-Head is threatening to use nukes to blow up the world in response to threats by Supreme Leader Fat-boy Jong Un. Maybe I have even less time than I thought I did to get my work out there for others to see. I am resigned to dying in total obscurity as a writer. Which is entirely okay. But I have some things to show you that have not already been seen.
I haven’t been hiding things so much because I am ashamed of them, though you can see some amateurish flaws in my work, but more because I simply haven’t taken time to use these particular pictures.
This toy purchase photo from a week ago was a buy I made to feel better after learning that I was going to have to declare bankruptcy. I thought about using it in a blog before now, but never found the right time.
This picture of Jade Beyer watching the outside world full of edible cats and sniffable stinks was taken while eating some ice cream. She was in a funk about not being offered any, and there were people out there using her favorite park across the street. She boofed at them until I scolded her for barking too much.
I found a sheet of school pictures from the late eighties when I was a much younger man, looking a little bit like Harry Potter who hadn’t even been published yet.
I cropped it to make a better self-portrait of the way I once looked in school, wearing a tie as a teacher, and gray suspenders because I was a fool.
And then I enhanced it using a phone-camera app recommended to me by Vietnamese immigrant school girls. It made me look even more like an older Harry Potter.
So, there you have it. Secrets revealed. Pictures never before seen in public. And I am not now totally ashamed… just mostly.