Tag Archives: school teacher

The Unquiet Teacher Brain

Miss Morgan oneYesterday, as I was reviewing a movie that is almost as old as I am (in December, 1961 I was 5), I couldn’t help but think like a teacher.  If I were going to teach this movie as a piece of literature (and movies ARE literature!  Don’t argue with me!!!), I would start with an anticipation guide… or I could call it a lesson focus.  I would tell the students a little bit about why this movie is important to me.  I would give the background information about how Walt Disney wanted to make a musical picture like The Wizard of Oz, and even bought the rights to Oz books by Frank L. Baum to make it happen.  It was supposed to be a starring vehicle for his popular Mickey Mouse Club Mouseketeers, and ended up starring Annette Funicello (and I would never mention anything about my childhood desire to see Annette naked because information like that mixed with giggle-happy teens and hormones is an explosive mix and would get me fired).  I would also start a discussion of heroes and villains and what sort of patterns we might anticipate as the story went down that well-traveled path of the hero (I might mention some of Joseph Campbell’s work on myths because it is almost relevant enough to fit in the lesson… and it would not get me fired).  But, suddenly, I realize as the teacher-brain machinery is churning on this idea… I am no longer a teacher.  I am retired.  I am not even well enough to go be a substitute teacher for a day or two.  And besides, Texas principals all frown on showing movies in class when you could be doing worksheets to prepare for State STAAR Tests.  And Disney sues teachers for using their copyrighted materials in the classroom because, well… evil fascist corporate empire ruled by a mouse, right?  So I am bummed.

Cool School Blue

When do you stop thinking like a teacher so much that it hurts?  Probably never.  I got even with Fate just a little bit by writing the novel Magical Miss Morgan, in which I gave some of my old lesson plans to the fictional version of me as a teacher (the version of me that is not a cartoon rabbit as a teacher).  I had Miss Morgan teach a class of sixth graders about J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, and tried to incorporate some of my goofier teaching ideas into the story as evidence that Miss M is, in fact, a very good teacher (hard to fake if you are not a good enough teacher to at least recognize what good classroom practices look like).  And I had enough fun pretending to be a female teacher with goofy imaginary students like Mike and Blueberry in the Paffooney above, enough fun to create what I think is my best work of fiction so far.  I submitted it to the Chanticleer Book Reviews YA novel-writing contest.  I have to wait like 30 years to find out if I failed to win anything… but that’s okay.  Doing it quelled the unbridled teacher spirit in me that keeps threatening to kick down the stall gate and run away from the safety of the brain barn in the middle of a tornado… or something equally horsey but dangerous.  So, I guess I am okay for the moment.  But what do I do next when the teacher brain in me fires up and goes into overdrive yet again?

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Ah well, I will think of something.

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When Compassion Fails

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When I was contemplating what this post for 1000 Voices for Compassion was going to say, I read this insightful post by Melissa Firman; When the Bully is the Teacher.  It tore a few more holes in my soul.  You see, I was a teacher.  And I was not the safe, self-satisfied, sit-behind-the-desk-and-pontificate sort of teacher.  I was the walk-up-and-down-the-aisles-between-the-student-desks teacher.  I was the look-over-your-shoulder-and-care-what-you-are-learning teacher.  I took the risks necessary to connect with kids and find out what was really happening in students’ lives.  I was definitely aware of teachers who belittled their charges and used negative comments and punishments to motivate them.  I did what I could to steer those teachers in another direction.  I was involved in campus improvement teams.  I provided in-service training to my fellow teachers on methods and implementation and best practices.  I was a department head for middle school English for a decade.  I tried very hard to get other teachers to love kids too.  But I learned very early on that for every hard-won, consistently-practiced teacher super-power that I developed there was an even more powerful bit of Kryptonite lurking somewhere.  Bullying broke my heart my second year as a teacher.

Ruben was an eighth grade boy who came to my class late in the school year.  He had moved south from big-city San Antonio, Texas to our little rural school because of family upheaval.  He was a slight, short, skinny child with large, liquid brown eyes and a haunted stare that could pierce your soul.  Almost from day one he was the center of attention for one of the eighth grade attack roosters in our little school.  Vicente Feyo (not his real name) was a beginning Gold-Gloves boxer following in his older brothers’ footsteps.  He was a fairly short kid, too, but muscled like an athlete because he trained as a boxer.  The girls all loved Vicente and followed him like a flock of hens all around the chicken house.  His only obvious objection to Ruben was that Ruben existed and was defenseless against any mean thing Vicente could think of to do.  Fortunately, Vicente had been hit in the head enough that he couldn’t think of anything too terribly evil to do to Ruben.  He called Ruben a girl in Spanish, belittled his manhood, and constantly treated him to the Feyo Stare of Death and Dismemberment.  He would corner Ruben and say things like, “Just go for it, vato.  What are you afraid of?”  He forced Ruben to back down in front of girls.  He forced Ruben to back down even in front of Ruben’s own younger sister who had caught up to Ruben in grades and was in the same class with him.  The child was dying before my eyes.  I had to do something.  Our principal was a good man with a good heart, but Vicente had parents who were very prominent and powerful in our little South Texas Hispanic community.  He couldn’t handle having to risk backlash in reprimanding Vicente over something that he told me, “…is just part of our Mexican-American culture.  Boys just have be macho and strut in front of the girls.  He doesn’t really mean anything by it.”

One day, after class, I pulled Ruben aside and tried to talk to him.  “What can I do to help?” I asked.  “I am not going to put up with him acting like that in class, or in this school,” I said, “but what else can I do?”

“You can’t do anything, man.  You are a gringo teacher.  This has to be between me and him.  You just don’t understand, man.”

I didn’t understand.  I thought teachers were heroes.  Teachers are supposed to be able to solve problems like this.  Of course, I was just a second-year teacher at the time.  Maybe there was something I hadn’t learned yet.  It was not going to be beyond my power forever… but it was.

Ruben solved his problem the following year.  At the time the Bloods from L.A. hadn’t moved into San Antonio yet to become the San Antonio Kings.  The Crips hadn’t moved into San Antonio and become the Ffolks.  There was only a gang on the South Side called the Town Freaks.  Ruben moved back to San Antonio and became a Town Freak.  Nobody was going to mess with him ever again.  One night they stole a pickup truck and went for a joyride.  Ruben was riding in the back.  When the police chased them, the truck overturned.  Six Town Freaks were killed.  Ruben was one of them.  Nobody was ever going to mess with him again.

What does this have to do with compassion?  It tore my heart out.  I can’t write this post, even thirty-three-years after it happened, without tears blurring my eyesight and sobs wiggling my laptop.  I still believe  that if only we could’ve found a little more compassion in our hearts for Ruben Vela… if only more adults would’ve honestly tried to see things through Ruben’s eyes… well… you know.

I never use the real names of students in posts.  They have a right to their own stories.  They need to have their privacy respected.  Ruben Vela is different.  Somebody needs to remember that boy’s name whenever we pass off bullying as inevitable, as a part of our culture, as normal.  I have never forgotten.  Remembering what happened to Ruben made me more aware for the rest of my teaching career.  It will affect me for the rest of my life.

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School Is Out For Miss Morgan

Cool School Blue

I have done it.  I wrote the final scenes in my story of the school teacher who loves to teach and runs afoul of fairies fighting a war of good versus evil.  The epilogue put the cherry on top last night, so I actually finished this book on Christmas Day 2014.  I have great plans for this book.  It is the best thing I have ever written.  I based the lessons presented and the teacher experiences on my own teaching career.  I transformed myself into the viewpoint character, Miss Morgan, though I did not actually have the sex change operation.  The fairies are all based on real fairies I have known… as are the students in Miss Morgan’s classes… based on real students, I mean.  The evil principals, teachers, and parents in the story are totally fictional.  Yes, I have to keep telling myself that to prevent nightmares.  I don’t know about the goblins.  It’s hard to get to know critters you are spending your life stepping on and wiping out.  I hope a few people read this book one day.  I think it is one of the greatest pieces of literature ever to come out of a Midwesterner who moved to Texas and became a school teacher for 31 years before losing his mind, wigging out, and believing he could become a published author writing great pieces of literature.

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The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

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I have started work on the next novel which I will call The Bicycle-Wheel Genius.  It takes two of the important supporting characters from my novel Catch a Falling Star, and weaves them into a story that can only be called a prequel-sequel to the previous book.  It begins when the characters first meet and become friends.  It incorporates some of the events from the alien invasion in Catch a Falling Star, and it concludes the incredible story of a friendship between a really nice mad scientist and the only son of a rural English teacher.

I have included here the first two cantos of this humoresque hodgepodge novel so you can get a sense of how truly awful the whole thing is going to be.  (If you choose to skip this first-draft nonsense, I will completely understand.  Not forgive you, mind you, but understand.)

Canto One – In the dark corners of the house in 1984

The stupid boy was easily followed home.  When he patted the little Pomeranian dog on her fuzzy head, he entered through the back door, unlocking it with his key.  He went in to make his afternoon peanut butter sandwich, stupidly leaving the door unlocked.  The man in black couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.

The strip of bacon the man in black offered to the canine moron was soaked in a fast-acting, taste-free poison.  The barker was silenced.  The man in black quietly slipped into the house.  Standing in the back entryway, he could peer in and see the stupid boy bending over the peanut butter with the knife in hand.  The boy was handsome in a way.  He had his father’s stupid blond hair and myopic eyes.  The glasses on his little face were thick enough to magnify his blue-gray eyes.  He had that same owlish look that the genius father always wore.  But he had his mother’s lovely mouth and the same child-like oval face that always made his mother seem so appealing, so girlishly lovely.

As the man stepped into the kitchen, the boy looked up startled.

“Why are you dressed like that?” he asked.  “You look like some kind of burglar.”

The man in black grinned.  He whipped out the chloroformed cloth and pressed it over the mouth and nose of the boy.  The stupid boy melted into his grasp.  Swiftly bound and gagged, the boy was left tied up in a chair at the kitchen table.  Now, the real work could begin.

The basement door was the first obstacle.  It had a keypad lock.  The man in black dusted the key pad with fingerprint dust.  He could easily see the four keys that the genius always pressed.  He remembered  the pattern of code entry he had seen the genius using a hundred times from afar.  Two in the upper corner, the one and the four, the key in the middle, the five, and the one at the bottom, the eight.

It worked!  With a snap-hiss the electronically sealed door opened.  Down he went into the lab.

The small safe was still open.  Leave it to a genius to be sloppy about replacing paperwork and locking it up again.  He never re-locked the safe upstairs with his wife’s jewels in it.  Why would this safe be any different?  The safe-cracking tools could be left in the old black pocket!

Inside the safe, just where he’d been told it would be, was the manila envelope marked Tesla Project.  He took it out.  It was worth a fortune apparently.  Soon he would have the whole pile of money the ambassador had offered him.  The man in black licked his lips.  He stuck the envelope in his pocket.

Next would come the cover story.  Yes, the experimental prototype sat on the table where the ambassador’s advisor had said it would be.  How did the advisor know so much about the crazy genius?  He had never been at any of the family reunions.  The man in black smiled to himself.  Easy enough to do.  He used his lighter to start some of the papers on the table burning.  He added some more flames to the nearby desk.  Then he turned the prototype on.

Electricity began to shimmer and shine, crawling over the surface of the silver metal ball.  Tiny electrical bursts that looked like lightning arced out over the table and connected with some of the water pipes overhead.  The fire began to blossom faster than the man in black had anticipated.  Time to get out, or be immolated too.

At the top of the stairs he was horrified to see that she was there too.  She was bent over the boy, trying to untie him from the chair.

“Leo!” she said.  “What have you done?”   Her beautiful brown eyes were filled with horror.

It was a real shame.  He hadn’t expected her to get there so quickly.  He had intended for the boy to be the only one caught in the “accident”.  Ah, well.   He wasn’t actually Leo anyway.  Leo was dead.  He only looked like Leo and had taken Leo’s place in the family for a time.  He hit her with a violent blow to the temple and she crumpled.

The flames were roaring up into the kitchen from the lab.  The place would go up quickly.  In his haste to leave the conflagration, he failed to notice how her hand, as she crumpled, had managed to clutch at his pocket on the way to the floor.  He hadn’t noticed how the envelope had been dislodged by her fingers and also knocked to the floor.  As he strode swiftly out of the house, he did not realize that his prize had remained behind to burn with his innocent victims.  The perfect crime.  He would never be suspected.  But he would never be rewarded either.  He was congratulating himself as he slipped away from the blazing inferno, his handiwork.  And everything that mattered to the genius was on fire.  A whole world was passing away.

Canto Two… Norwall, Iowa, population 278, 1988

Norwall, like many small towns in Iowa, had not changed more than a particle or two a year from about 1919 to around 1982.  It had a main street.  The houses were done mostly in the Victorian style, with its various porches and bay windows and corner tower-like structures.  It was a sleepy-quiet   little farm town where practically nothing ever happened.  It was mostly set up for farm business.  There was a grain elevator at the west end of Main Street, and a lumber yard at the southern end of Whitten Avenue.  It was not unusual  to see tractors parked in town along with the family cars and farmers’ pickup trucks.

Tim Kellogg had been born in the Belle City Hospital in 1978, and had lived in the town of Norwall all his life.  He would’ve been bored to tears early on if it had not been for the Norwall Pirates.  They were the local 4-H softball team, but they were also the greatest secret club and eternal fraternity of liars that was ever put together on a boring Saturday afternoon in Iowa.  They had an interesting oral history.  It was rumored and asserted by former club members that once they had chased a werewolf and defeated him even though he had killed an old church lady and a local minister.  They also supposedly fought and defeated an undead Chinese wizard once, though details about that one were far more likely to change from tale-teller to tale-teller.

Not only was Tim a member of the club, but he was second in line to be grand and glorious leader.  His older cousin Valerie Clarke was the current leader, but she was in high school now and so beautiful that she couldn’t help but always be busy with boys.  Soon the club would be handed over to him, and no more girls would be members, possibly for eternity.  This was an idea of no small attraction to Norwall boys who were less than enthusiastic about having a girl for a leader.  You really couldn’t walk around the clubhouse naked or fart as much as you wanted to if your leader was a girl.

And Tim was very definitely looking forward to getting to know the mysterious new neighbor on Pesch Street.    In the very house next door a man with thick glasses and eyes like an owl kept bringing in the most fascinating stuff.  Computers, the big mainframe sorts of computers, fish tanks, hoses, machines both sleek and junky whose purposes were totally mysterious.  And there were so many bicycle wheels!  Bicycle wheels, gears, flywheels, chains, and driver cords.  What did this man intend to  do with all the wonderful  junk?  It was fuel for the wildest of speculations from the Norwall Pirates.

Tim rode up to the grocery store on Main Street and sat there on his bike in the middle of the sidewalk waiting.  His best friend and fellow Pirate, Tommy Bircher, rode up also and grinned a silent greeting.  Tommy was only a month younger than Tim, but was also different in that he had not lived his whole life in the little Iowa town.  Although his grandparents, uncles, and various other relatives were rooted here, Tommy’s father and mother both traveled to distant places in pursuit of their business interests.  Albert Bircher was an executive officer in a large Chicago-based business.  Tommy and his family had moved back to Norwall only temporarily two years ago.  Tommy had spent three years of his ten living in France.

“So, Tim, you got it all figured out yet?”  Tommy grinned puckishly.

“Oh, you know… yes.  The gossips in this town know everything about everybody, and all the gossips talk in the Post Office.  We just hafta go there and listen.”

“That could take some time.”

“Yeah, but it will be worth it.  We gotta find out somehow.”

“Okay, you’re the boss.”

Together, the two infamous Pirates stealthily walked over to the Norwall Post Office between what had once been the grocery store and what was now and always had been the fire station.  They parked their bicycles in the fire station bike rack.  They went in nonchalantly, trying to be nonchalant like they really belonged there, and hoping they really knew what nonchalant meant.

“Hello, boys,” said George “the Salesman” Murdoch, Post Master and gossip aficionado of the highest order.

“Uh, hello,” said Tim, trying to cover for both of them.  He quickly looked at the wanted posters and missing children flyers on the medium-sized bulletin board near the East end of the counter.

Marjorie Dettbarn and Wilma Bates, two of Norwall’s middle-aged church ladies were there trading juicy stories and other tidbits with “the Salesman”.

“You know, George,” Wilma was saying, “the police really should be looking more carefully at the backgrounds of people like that.”

“Why do you say that, Mrs. Bates?” asked the Post Master with a sly grin.

“You know his wife is dead.  They say it isn’t out of the question that he might’ve murdered her.”

“You’re so right, Wilma,” said Mrs. Dettbarn.  “He’s such a suspicious-looking character.  He never seems to hear you when you say hello.”

“Yes, “said Bates, “always has his nose in some book or other.”

“Do you ladies say hello to him a lot?” asked Murdoch the Post Master.

“Oh my, no,” said Mrs. Dettbarn.  “I said it once.  That’s all the chance a spooky young man like that really needs, don’t you know.”

“Yes, yes,” said Bates, “I never spoke to him at all.  You can’t be too careful around a person like that!”

“Oh, you are right there,” said the Post Master.  “He gets a check from the government twice a month, and numerous ones from different corporations.  I think he may be quite wealthy in many ways.  Who knows how a person like that earns so much money.  Probably something suspicious, I say.”

Tommy and Tim were both wide eyed as Tim nudged Tommy towards the door.

As soon as they were outside, Tim nearly exploded.  “A murderer!  And lots of money coming in all the time!”

“Yeah, he could be a professional killer who works for the government!” gushed Tommy.  “Oh, but who were they talking about?”

“You poophead!  They were discussing my new neighbor, Orbit Wallace!”

“Orbit Wallace?”

“Well, something like that!  The new guy that moved in next door.”

“Hey,” said Tommy, “maybe we should go stare at his house for a while!”

“Yeah!  Great idea!” said Tim.

So the two Pirates were now on a mission to catch the hired killer red handed.  Tim had visions of apprehending him literally red handed, with blood dripping from his fingertips.  Red handed in the worst possible way.

*****

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Goobers and Gomers

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I posted previously about how some classrooms in public schools have the same qualities as the city zoo.  As I rattled off some of the more dangerous beasts, I happened to mention gomers in passing.  I failed to actually talk about them at that time.  This was not a mere oversight or foolish mistake.  This was a shameless hook meant to bait you like a sunfish in spring and bring you with a gaping mouth to this prissy post.

Gomers and goobers are not rare animals, but scarce enough to go unnoticed by those who don’t watch the classroom like a hawk.  (Hawks and sunfish?  Is that a subliminal connection of some sort?  I think not.)  As you have probably guessed if you are amazingly old and out of date like me, or had no clue at all about it because you never pay attention to anything from the world before you were born when everything was in black and white, gomers and goobers are named after the Pyles from Mayberry.  Gomer Pyle and his cousin Goober, gas station mechanics and avid drinkers of grape Nehi, are the loveable bumpkins who can only say the dumbest things at just the right time to completely skewer the psyches of all the Sergeant Carters and Andy Taylors of the world.  These would be the halfwit wits that always snipe verbally from the back corners of the room whenever they think someone is being dim and dumb, especially if they suspect the person is being dimmer and dumber than they are, and especially special if that person just happens to be the teacher.

These patriotic little rubes are the ones that say the pledge to the flag, and the pledge to Emperor Perry’s Great State of Texas, with such great feeling and pride, yet manage to call each other queers and steers, and sock each other on the arms during the moment of silence.  They are FFA geeks who like farming because they get to see animals breeding (farmer porn).  They are Republicans because their fathers are, and firmly believe that all our lives will be better if we reduce the government and give more money and tax breaks to rich people.  Of course, they only mean the national government, because there is something sacred about Emperor Perry’s Republic of Texas, and we need more of that kind of red state hogpoop.  Who doesn’t want to see red hogs?  Especially while they are breeding!

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I don’t mean it to sound like I hate gomers and goobers.  They are actually kinda sweet and naive most of the time.  They are all, “Aw, shucks, Miss Luanne, you sure is purdy!” and “I do not agree with any dang liberal thing you say, think, or even think about thinking, Mr. B, but I will defend to the death your right to utter that liberal commie bull puckie!”  And they always add, “But don’t forget that my second amendment rights are the most important rights in the whole constitution because it means I can sleep with a BIG DAMN GUN under my pillow.”  Sure.  Sweet, but they can kill you without a second amendment thought.

So, now I’ve gone and done it.  I’ve alienated almost everybody who loves Emperor Perry’s Great State of Texas because we don’t tax the rich or, God forbid, businesses, and life will be so much better if we give all our money to rich guys and own a BIG DAMN GUN (in all capitals)!

Never the less, gomers and goobers are real animals.  We need to learn their habits and sounds from the handy field guide, and get ready to have an even better ol’ Bubba-time when we get to the monkey house.

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A Beastiary for the Modern Classroom

There is a certain order to everything in the universe.  Beginning teachers or substitutes that have never done the job before may think otherwise, walking into a classroom populated by modern teenage beasties.  It looks like utter chaos to the casual observer, and it is.  But there is an underlying order (kinda like some of my sillier corkscrew-shaped paragraphs with all the purple-paisley prImageose and over-long parenthetic expressions).  You have to recognize the critters for what they are and then, you may have a chance to deal with them.

First on the list are the dominant predators, the bullies, the snarks, and the outright evil ones.  The most important battles you have to fight as a teacher are the ones for dominance in the classroom.  The teacher is rarely the dominator, and usually the dominatee, so you must proceed with great caution.  At the top of the pecking order are the Pepsi People.  I call them Pepsi People in a Coca Cola World because they are mainstream, but slightly different than the usual.  Actually, since most of these are actually female, we shall refer to them as Pepsi Girls.  They are the ones that usually dominate the modern high school classroom.  Their parents have enough money at least to buy them home computers and digital cameras so they can post pictures of their bare behinds on Myspace and Facebook.  They enjoy showing off boobies too, if they have them already, which they usually do.  There are a lot of prerequisites to being a Pepsi Girl.  It also helps if they are a cheerleader.  In Texas, cheerleaders sometimes run not only the classroom, but the whole school.  They put the pep in Pepsi.  In fact, many of them suffer from an excess of what I like to call Cheerleader Pep-itis, a dread disease that makes you strut, bat your eyes at boys, and give stupid answers to the teacher on purpose, because it is so not cool to be, like, you know… smart.  A teacher who gives one of these detention or, heaven forbid! a failing grade, will soon be facing parents who will make you recount every last detail of she-said-you-said-and-her-last-words.  The parents may be secretly on your side, but they are afraid of her too, and they have to say and do the right thing, or there will be trouble at home.  Pepsi Girls are large and in charge, even when they are little-bitty young things with a big mouth and cute behind.  You mostly deal with Pepsi Girls by letting them have their way… or by standing up to them and being told by the principal privately that you have to let them have their way.

Snarks can be girls, but this sort of foul American predator is usually a boy, usually on drugs for attention deficit disorder, and more often than that, the kid all the other kids in class would point to as the one in charge of the class.  Granted, he usually is the one that holds center stage the longest with his repetoire of snappy comebacks for teachers like, “Yeah, whut…?”  But they do actually yield to Pepsi Girls on all occasions when the two species come into conflict.  They are the thin, wired boy most likely to get up and dance for the class for no particular reason, or the fat one that sits in the far back of the room even if you assign him a seat in the front so he can continually interrupt lessons on helping verbs with helpful comments about the size of somebody’s mother’s body parts.  They are also the child most likely to disrobe completely in the middle of class, or hit the teacher in the back of the head with a large, juicy spitball and then claim that it was an accident, and besides, Jorge did it anyway, not the one that stands accused because you saw him chawing the wad of paper to make the spitball.  On many occasions I greet this kind of child at the doorway at the start of class with a detention slip and a magical pass to the office to talk with their good friend, the assistant principal in charge of discipline.  They will say, “WAITTAMINNUT!  I haven’t done anything wrong!”  To which I must answer, “Yes, that’s true, but I decided to give you detention anyway for the evil plan I can see you have already formulated in your head.”  To which they will reply, “oh… Okay.”  You can only win by getting them out of your classroom.

My favorites, though, are the Invisible Kids.  These are the kids that can sit in your classroom all year, and when they leave, you will no longer be able to remember what they looked like, sounded like, or even smelled like.  They keep it all in.  The only time you really have any trouble at all with them is when you ask them a question and actually expect them to say something out loud as an answer.  The only thing you will ever get from them is a note that says, “I can’t talk today.  I have acute larnigitis and can’t talk at all.  Ask me the question after school on Thursday, and I’ll tell you then.”   They never cause noise or disruption in the classroom.  They are more often the victims of the Snarks or the Pepsi Girls, and you really can’t blame them for trying to keep their head down and the big red target off their back.  I like them because, if I put in the work to draw them out, they are usually real people with actual lives.  They can be interesting and funny.  You never realize it in class, but these are also the kids that understand your jokes, and laugh at them with their friends at the mall after school is out.

I could go on and on with specific examples of all of these varied middle school anniemules, but it is a premise that is probably already starting to bore you.  I have that effect on people.  After all, I am an English teacher.  But let me leave off by saying, I’m really going to miss this job when I retire soon to drool in the corner at the local mental health facility (or become a Walmart greeter if I can manage to mindless smile).  It’s not the same when you are not the everyday teacher and get to know all the Pepsi People, Snarks, Bullies, Invisibles, Tecky Trekkies, Gomers, and Goths by their first names, and sometimes their middle names too.  I do hate them all, especially on Thursdays… but over time you learn to love them all too.

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