Tag Archives: novel

Snow Babies (Proof that I’m not a loser as a writer)

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My novel Snow Babies that I submitted to Chanticleer Book Reviews for the Dante Rossetti Awards for Young Adult Fiction has been awarded a place among thirty-one finalists.  Here is the link; http://chantireviews.com/chanticleer-contest-deadlines-and-announcement-projections/finalists-for-the-dante-rossetti-awards-for-young-adult-fiction/

I should know by the end of January if I win or not, but the fact that I made the finals feels like vindication!

Above you see the mock-up cover that I drew for myself.  (The novel was submitted as an unpublished manuscript).  Here is another Paffooney with the main character of Snow Babies, Valerie Clarke.

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Wrestling with Themes

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I recently was advised by a fellow blogger to offer a few writing tips on my blog as a way to painlessly market my writing.  Okay, I’m a writing teacher, so I can do that.  But in my own writing I have hit a snag.  Yes, there are things much, much bigger than my humble skill as a writer.

My current novel project, the Bicycle-Wheel Genius has grown into a science-fiction monster.  It is not only about a scientist who has secret government connections, but about time travel and people changing into rabbits… or rabbits into people… or boys into girls… dogs and cats living together…   No, that is Ghostbusters. 

But it has reached a point where the most important theme is incredibly clear and difficult to deal with.  The theme I find myself weaving into this story is;  “All men are basically good.”   Gongah!  Wotta theme to try to write!  Do I believe it?  Of course I do.  Can I put the story together in such a way that  I illustrate it to the reader’s satisfaction?  Of course I can’t.  So what do I do?  This story has some of the best villains and evil people in it that I have ever written.  I can’t kill them off to solve the story’s plot problems (Well, I can, but I don’t want to).  I have to show how evil can be redeemed.

My cast of characters include the scientist himself, calmly dealing with time travelers, invading aliens, government assassins, and a group of young boys known as the Norwall Pirates.  There is a time traveler who appeared in a book within a book in my novel Catch a Falling Star.  There is also an alien space navigator who has been shot by a local Iowa Deputy Marshall and stranded on Earth.  Another character is an artificial man, an automaton who has been crafted as a government assassin made from alien technology.  Okay, I know you don’t believe I can make serious science fiction out of such crazy-quilt characters, especially with a primary theme like the one I’ve claimed.  So, I have to confess that it is not serious in any way, shape, or form.  It is a silly fantasy comedy.

So, how do I generate a theme as big and bold and important as the goodness of all men?  Well, here’s a secret recipe;

  1. Take one genius who has lost all the people he loves and has to start over with new friends and, eventually, new family.
  2. Add a brother-in-law with mental health issues and financial dependency.
  3. Add a group of young boys hungry for adventure and new experiences and a little bit short on common sense.
  4. Add a paranoid evil government that has secrets it will kill to protect (the factual part of the story).
  5. Mix well.
  6. Add vinegar.
  7. Boil at 350 degrees for a year.

 

Of course, if you thought I was giving you real writing advice, then SURPRISE!  It turns out I have been making it all up as I go along.  That’s how you do it.  You write and write, knit it all together tenuously, and then edit the heck out of it, hoping to make sense of the whole thing.

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Chuck Dickens and the Origins of Writing

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Don’t make the mistake of thinking I have any earthly idea where writing comes from or how it began.  I am only talking personal history here, nothing grander or more meaningful.  This post is only self-referential hoo-haw, which is a fancy way of interpreting “conceited crap”.

So, the truth is, I am writing about Charles Dickens because he is the author I most want to become.  True, I rant on and on about Twain and his humor.  And a good deal of my artwork owes everything to Disney, but everything I am good at in writing is based on Dickens.

The first actual Dickens novel that I read was accomplished during my extended illness as a high school sophomore.  I read in bed, both at home and in the hospital, from my library copy of The Old Curiosity Shop.  I was enthralled by the journey and subsequent tragedy of Little Nell.  I thoroughly loathed the villain Daniel Quilp and was roundly thrilled by his well-deserved fatal comeuppance.  It was my first encounter with the master of characters.  I followed that reading with a biography of Dickens that revealed to me for the first time that his characters were based on real people.  Mr. Micawber in David Copperfield was actually Dickens’ own father.  Little Nell was the cousin he dearly loved who died in his arms.    The crafty Fagin was a caricature of a well-known fence named Soloman, a Jew of infamous reputation, but not without his redeeming quality of caring for the orphaned poor.  So it is that I have chosen to make my silly stories about real people in much the same way Dickens did.  If you are now worried that since you know me, you may end up in my books, never fear.  I change names and splice characters together.  You will have to make an effort to recognize yourself.  And, besides, nobody reads my books anyway.

I also like the way Dickens uses young characters and follows them over time as they grow and change.  Oliver Twist was the first child protagonist in English literature.  David Copperfield, Nicholas Nickleby, and Pip in Great Expectations also like that.  David Copperfield, in fact, is Chuck’s own fictionalized self.  I fully intend to do the same.  It is the reason my books fall into the Young Adult category.  I also intend to employ the same kind of gentle, innocent humor that Dickens used.  I mean to portray things that are funny in a disarming, absurdist way rather than resorting to attack humor and bad words. 

There it is, then, my tribute to Charles Dickens, a writer who makes me be who I am and write what I write.  I am not supposed to do Christmas posts because of my avowed religion, but you can consider this to be as close as I can come.  The author of A Christmas Carol… it doesn’t get much more Christmassy than that. 

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Novel Nooz

Novel Nooz

This drawing was created when I started this blog as a way of illustrating the kind of writing I wanted to do. Not only the book I published called Catch a Falling Star, but everything else I have written and plan to write. There’s a certain surreal philosophy expressed in this picture if you look at it right (squint your eyes and tap yourself on the temple hard with a brick).

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December 15, 2013 · 8:44 pm

Rabbit Walking

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In the novel I am working on at the moment, The Bicycle-Wheel Genius, I have a character that does something weird with rabbits that I used to do.  I had a plastic dog-walking collar and chain that I used on a pet who definitely was not a dog.  Ember-eyes was my New Zealand White buck rabbit.  He was a large rabbit with bright red eyes, whiter than snow.   He liked to go for walks, but it was definitely a dangerous undertaking for him.  Dogs lurked around the neighborhood wandering loose and uninhibited.  Dogs, of course, viewed old Ember-eyes as a tasty snack.  I never really got into trouble with that, though, until my neighbor and friend Harry brought home a baby raccoon.  He also bought a dog collar and chain, planning to walk the raccoon as I walked my bunny.  Did you know raccoons will attack and eat a rabbit?  Me neither.  But they will.  Nasty little hissy things they become when they are presented with food at the end of a chain.  And of course, it was a baby coon, so my buck rabbit was larger and more muscular than her.  And Ember-eyes didn’t like the idea of being a rabbit-burger for any teeny bandit that wasn’t even a proper predator.  So the scratching claw-fight went on for about fifteen hare-raising seconds.  I ended up carrying the victor back to his hutch, his heart beating so hard I could feel it with the hand I had under his behind.  Harry had to figure out how you treat claw wounds to the nose of a raccoon.  The vet didn’t want to see a vermin like that on his exam table any more than Harry’s dad wanted to pay the bill for it.  Some salve on the tip of the nose was the eventual solution.

In the Paffooney I have a picture of Tommy Bircher and his pet rabbit Millis.  Here he’s crossing Main Street Norwall in front of the VFW Hall. 

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Valerie Clarke; the Latest Paffooney

Valerie Clarke; the Latest Paffooney

I submitted my 2012 novel Snow Babies to a novel writing contest. I learn more about the results November 30th. I have a lot riding on this contest, but the book will get published if I have to print it by hand.

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November 19, 2013 · 3:23 am

Star Dancing with Lizard People

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the picture above : Davalon and Farbick near Mars (by Leah Cim Reyeb)

I am constantly bubbling over with ridiculous ideas and dreams.  After writing the book Catch a Falling Star, I was asked by an editor what happens next to some of the characters.  The Morrell family, changed into children, travel into space with the Tellerons aboard Xiar’s Base Ship.  Harmony Castille, the elderly church lady who falls in love with the Telleron Commander Biznap marries him and travels with the aliens too.  The task; find a new home world and start a mixed civilization.  Since the aliens have no inherent religion or morality, it falls to the humans on board to make Christian values the norm for the Telleron frog people.  That is a challenge old church ladies can’t resist, but also can’t manage without help.

So what can I do with this story?  Where can it go?  I am trying to build my work in fiction around certain rules or boundaries that will give it the consistency and power that I need to achieve with my work.  Well, the biggest rule is that all my stories have to fit like puzzle pieces into the entire picture, an imaginary history of the universe centered on the little town where I grew up.  Space empires in the future, time travelers popping in and out freely, and imaginary breakthroughs in physics, astrophysics, and various sciences cannot be allowed to interfere with the unified history of the future of the galaxy.  I know how silly this sounds, but silly rules inform the under-structure of all reality.  How else can you explain things like the politics of Texas?  Further, I adhere to other silly rules.  It must be science fiction or fantasy.  It must also be humor.  And the most important characters are always children.

So what will this book I am planning be like?  Well, first of all, there must be strong elements of science fiction.  Of course, silly me, my heroes are on a starship looking for a new home-world.  You can’t get too much more science-fictiony than that.  But I have been overwhelmed with internet researches of late into the looniest of the internet conspiracy theories.  Besides my obsessions with who killed JFK and what really happened on 9/11, I have also found cartoon characters like Alex Jones (the conspiracy world’s version of Elmer Fudd on PCP and prodded to ridiculous levels of vitriolic-aggressive anger management failures) speaking about lizard men from outer space who have taken to controlling our government by shape-changing and masquerading as Hilary Clinton.  Whew!  Humor is a breeze!  All I have to do is set my lost space-colony down on the hostile, warlike world of the space lizards, the world of Galtorr Prime.  The science fiction is then firmly grounded in the pseudo-science of paranoid madmen.  And, joyfully, further research into the lizard people trying to take over earth will be justified by the creation of this book.  Who knows?  I may actually uncover their secrets in real life!

The humor, as I already indicated, is built in.  Warlike lizards who want only to conquer and destroy!  And don’t forget, this will be set on their war-torn home world.  The satire is set.  I will be writing political satire about Republicans and Democrats.  Hot dang!  And I can depict crazy folk who would gleefully destroy their own government and their own environment in order to spite their worst enemies, who are thankfully not us, but themselves.  I can continue to describe the battle between good and evil in my book in the same religious terms I have always tried to use.  It is not good against evil as much as it is Love against Heartlessness.   All good comedy, from Mark Twain, to Charles Dickens, to Terry Pratchett, to Douglas Adams, is precisely about that.  (Of course it will mean more of the run-on sentences, multi-adjectival descriptions, and infantile allusions and metaphors that I always use in my signature purple-paisley prose.)

And finally, I have the characters already fairly well set.  Davalon, the boy Telleron explorer, his nestmate/sister Tanith, their friend and mentor Farbick, Davalon’s adopted child-parents Alden and Gracie Morell, and the crew of Xiar the Slightly Irregular’s whole wacky starship are already living and arguing in my head.  Of course, the moldy underwear and dirty dishes in my head are not a particularly good thing.  When will fictional characters ever learn to clean up after themselves?  Only time will tell.

So there you have it, an entire book idea that came into being in the last week and a half.  It will be interesting to chronicle the progression and creation of it.  Will it actually get written?  Will it take twenty-two years the way Catch a Falling Star did?   Will it be worth doing more with than merely writing it and then burning it to save future generations from reading it and burdening themselves with the corrosive insanity it will most likely cause?  Well, please, don’t bet any actual money on it.  Imaginary or funny-money will be good enough.  

 

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A Bewitching Mystery Story (My Five-Star Review of Stuart West’s Book)

Stuart West’s Young Adult novel, Tex, the Witch Boy, is a very engaging murder mystery that takes several unusual turns.  Unlike most stories of the supernatural, the monsters are not the evil creatures of the night, but the evil creatures of the high school locker rooms and hallways.  Tex and his friends are the outsiders, the loners that have to band together and help each other against brainless beefy bullies who use their athletic gifts to torment and even attempt to kill the story’s heroes.  Tex has a very unusual set of skills to apply to the problem.  It turns out that he is a witch.  And with the help of his witch-mentor, a crazy blue-haired old lady named Mickey, Tex might just be able to solve a murder, save the girl, and help his friends through mysterious magic powers.  It is an engaging whodunit that will have you doing what I did, turning back the pages and re-reading to find those clues that I so very cleverly missed altogether.  You need to read this book.  And if you have a teenager at home, you need to make them read and enjoy it too.  Better yet, forbid them to read it.  That will help them enjoy it all the more.

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http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00B3U5OWU/ref=cm_cr_mts_prod_img

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Valerie Clarke, Iowa Girl

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My newest novel is called Snow Babies.  It is not published yet, but I am not worried.  It is the best thing I’ve ever written, and it will endure even if no one ever lowers themselves to actually reading it.  The portrait here is the main character, Valerie Elaine Clarke, the most beautiful girl ever born in Norwall, Iowa (the fictional version of the town I grew up in, rural, farm town, population 275).  She and her mother have moved to town and left farming behind because Valerie’s father… shudder… lost the farm for unpaid FHA loans, and then killed… but you don’t want to hear about that.  She is a vibrant, sassy, and open-hearted girl living in a 1984 world of skateboards, rock and roll, and stupid people that do all kinds of stupid things.  Right before the December blizzard hits, she sees a homeless wanderer, a hobo, on Main Street.  The guy doesn’t know a bad storm is coming.  He wears a jacket made of crazy quilt material, all colorful patches and quilted stitching.  Valerie can’t let the poor man freeze to death, can she?  And her and her mother live in a modest three-bedroom home even though there are only two people living there.  She will ask her mother if they can take him in during the storm, and maybe asked if she can keep him.

Silly, right?  I’ve told people that this is a comedy novel about freezing to death, complete with clowns.  But, to be honest, it’s probably more about not freezing to death, and how a small community can come together to face a big problem, namely, a killer of a blizzard.  So, if you like comedies laced with tragedy, filled with bad snow metaphors, and stupid people doing stupid things with consequences both good and bad, then you should be looking for the novel Snow Babies… or running away screaming… I know it’s one of those.

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I included a shot of my latest paffooney held by my daughter, the Princess.  Valerie is a combination of a girl I grew up with in Iowa, a girl I once taught in a small town in Texas, and a certain young lady who gets referred to repeatedly as “the Princess”.

 

 

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