
Into the Belly of the Whale
Cissy was mesmerized by the slow, undulating dance of the oncoming space whales. It was hard to imagine that an entire world, ecosystem, or possibly Nebulon city existed inside each vast space-born creature. They were truly magnificent animals. And there were hundreds of them.
“Tash corridac! Compurac sah, mokkis nah Faldo Mecchanosic!” came a forceful voice over the ship-to-ship communications array.
The grin that had inhabited Suki’s blue face began to fade.
“What are they saying?” demanded Cissy, noticing the hint of distress from Suki.
They are ordering us to state our reason for visiting Mighty Clan Vorranac. But they call us an Imperial ship, and not in a very nice way.”
“Tell them who we are, Suki. And try to be nice about it,” said Cissy.
Suki launched into a long ak-ak-ak-awh session of incomprehensible Nebulonin words. Cissy continued to marvel at the gigantic whale thing coming towards them. It had two huge eyes, each the size of a large domed stadium, and hundreds of surrounding eyes of various sizes.
“They are ordering us to fly inside of the Prince’s space whale,” Suki said, deflated.
“Make it so,” ordered Cissy.
Suki piloted the Happy Luck toward the largest space whale’s slowly opening mouth. It was a gaping mouth more than twenty-five kilometers in width.
“We izzn’t going inna dere, iz we?” Friday whined.
“Yes, we are, Friday.”
As they slowly slid through the mouth they began to see how brightly lit everything was.
“What are the bright lights all around us?” Cissy asked.
Crocodile Guy quickly whurred through data. “The bright yellow ones are called sunsources. They contain actual cold fusion of complex particles to produce heat and sunlight. Crikey!”
“And the bright blue lights?”
“Even more impressive, Cissy. Those are brain cells that communicate with other brain cells via microwave energy streams. They are the brains and computer capability of the entire pod of space whales.”
“Wow.”
The scanner readouts began showing breathable atmosphere and exotic radiation in the environment that now surrounded them. Suki daintily landed the ship on a platform structure that could easily be the space whale’s tongue.
Blue-skinned warriors surrounded the ship. A parade of uniformed officials streamed toward Cissy’s space ship.
“What do we do now?” Cissy asked.
“We go out and meet Prince Porodor, son of a former Vorannac Warlord.” Suki gave a half-hearted smile.
“Is he one of the good ones?” Cissy asked.
“Well, no… As far as I know…” Suki said, “He’s one of the very worst ones we could meet.”






















Sometimes all you want to do is doodle-bop!… To draw in pen and ink and post your derfiest doofenwacky doodles so you can just make your way through another danged day.















Holding Patterns
Sometimes you have to fly in big circles waiting for terrible things to pass. If you don’t wait… if you rush in unprepared… then you go down in flames.
The problem is that the pirates from Bank of America finally came through with their offer to settle my debt. (This is a repost from 2017) Sixty percent of $T13,000 in four payments over the next four months. I have an appointment tomorrow to talk with my lawyer about bankruptcy. It is expensive in this country to become poor. And if you are poor, you have no other option. At least, if I can manage three more bankruptcies by the time I’m 70, I will be qualified to run for president.
Life is definitely a lot like Moose Bowling. It is a simple game. In order to win, you only have to knock down all ten pins in one throw. The hard part is that you have to throw a moose to knock the pins down. Did you know that the average weight of an adult moose is 1800 pounds, or 820 kilograms? That’s a lot of moose meat to fling with my arthritic 60-year-old moose-throwing muscles. My flabber is totally gasted by that.
So, as I swiftly rise from prosperity to poverty, the ultimate fate of most old school teachers, it is probably a good thing that I have decided to become a nudist. At least I will save money on buying clothes.
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Filed under angry rant, autobiography, commentary, feeling sorry for myself, humor, Paffooney