Something to Wonder About

Here’s the essential context; I am now sick with a viral infection which may or may not be Covid Omicron. Since the pandemic came on in 2020 I have lost my father on my birthday in November of 2020 and my mother almost a year later in September of 2021. The highest fever I have had the past two days is 99.6 degrees Fahrenheit.

Last Night I had a vivid dream.

In the dream I was walking along the top of a wall made of crumbling yellow bricks. The wall was narrow enough that I had to put my arms out to balance myself, as if I was walking on a tightrope. Each step made pebbles crumble out from under my feet. I was continually wobbling as I moved forward along the top of the wall.

My mother was walking along the top of the wall directly ahead of me.

To one side there were sharp stakes pointed upward. They glistened, possibly with poison. The brownish stuff at least seemed to look poisonous.

The other side was a swamp full of green-brown mud, bugs, snakes, and broken tree branches.

I felt like falling either way would be the painful end of me.

My mother then turned around to face me on the top of that wall.

“You know that I love you, Michael. You don’t have very much further to go down this path. Try not to make a terrible misstep, and I will be waiting for you on the other side.”

And then she kissed me and faded away.

At that point I did not fall, nor did I take another step. I simply woke up.

Of course, you know, I choose to believe this dream means something. Something important. But what that is, I do not know.

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Top This!

“Dad?” asked the Princess, “I heard a funny word in school today.  What does Fuddy-Duddy mean?”

“Oh, that’s a good word,” I said.  “It means an old fogey… a stick-in-the-mud.”

“A what?”

“A fussy old guy who likes to have everything his way.  Like, if you accuse your father of being one… which you often do… he’s a fuddy-duddy daddy.”

“Ooh!  I get it!” said Henry, chiming in.  “And if your father is evil, then he’s a fuddy-duddy baddie daddy!

“Yes,” I said, “and if it makes him sad to be evil, he’s a fuddy-duddy saddie baddie daddy!

“If you are not sure he’s really your father,” said the Princess adding a one-up, “he’s a fuddy-duddy saddie baddie maybe daddy!

“Yeah!” said Henry.  “And if you suspect he may have fallen into a time machine and been turned back into an infant, he’s a fuddy-duddy saddie baddie maybe baby daddy!

“Now that he’s a baby again he will surely want to watch his favorite TV show again,” I said with a tear of nostalgia in my eye, “he’ll be a fuddy-duddy saddie baddie maybe baby Howdy Doody daddy!

“What’s Howdy Doody, Daddy?” asked the Princess.

“No,” said Henry, “now you’ve spoiled it.  It just ain’t funny any more.”

“Yes it is!  He’s become a funny bunny fuddy-duddy hoo-dad doo-dad saddie baddie maybe rabies hoo-dah doo-dah…”

“Just stop,” said Henry.  “You always carry things too far.”

“Right you are!” I said.  “See this grin?  It means I win!”

“AW, Daaad!” they both said at the same time.

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My Second Quarantine Adventure

I am now confined to my bedroom for another couple of weeks. Me, alone with my imagination, having to put on a mask to go down to the kitchen to make soup or go to the restroom. And it is the second time. But this timek I am the one infected. Before it was number two son who brought it home from work and got us all locked up at home.

To be honest, I haven’t gotten a test yet to determine that it is truly Omicron. If I do, I have to have somebody help me get there as we do not yet have any home tests. That would put whoever volunteers at risk. Plus, an official diagnosis creates more days missed from work for my wife who already has to teach in a germ-filled middle school with a mask on all day.

So, since I am only assuming I have Covid Omicron, I get to take care of myself in isolation. And if it is not Omicron, for which I am triple vaccinated, I have to worry that the regular flu is probably more dangerous than Covid and could potentially kill me.

I tend to get sick from regular flu even when I am vaccinated.

But while I am holed up with headaches and sore throat, I am finishing a novel, The Necromancer’s Apprentice. I have one chapter and two illustrations yet to finish.

This will be the first novel I have written set entirely in Tellosia, the kingdom of Fairies, Sylphs, Pixies, and Elves that exists just beyond the edges of the small town of Norwall, Iowa. All of the Fairy people and fairy animals are shrunk down by modern disbelief in them to a size where a six-foot person would be only three inches tall.

I hope to have it published in the next week. I, of course, now have additional time to work on it.

The Necromancer’s village of Mortimer’s Mudwallow

So, I have a choice. I can sit and suffer and watch TV, or I can get busy and write and publish.

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Filed under autobiography, feeling sorry for myself, humor, illness, novel writing, Paffooney

What You Should Know About Filipino Families

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Not everyone pictured in this post is actually a family member by marriage, but my wife has a big family and everyone who is even remotely related to a Filipino family… or even imagines that they are… is family.

I am about as much of a white-guy WASP-type as you can find in Middle America, having grown up in Iowa and teaching for my entire career in Texas.  But I know a thing or two… or three about other cultures.   I taught in South Texas for 23 years with students who were over 85% Spanish-speaking.  And then, in 1995, I married into the Pinoy culture of the Philippine Islands.

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Me and my Filipino-American familia… circa 2003.

There are some things I have learned about this other culture that you should probably be aware of.

#1.  The United States is being invaded and colonized by the Philippines.  They are coming here in waves, getting jobs in education and medicine that not enough of home-grown America are willing to take up.  My wife came here with a placement company as a teacher.  Three of her group of Filipino teachers landed in our little Cotulla school district.  When she got here, she was met by her cousin and her cousin’s family.  There was a Filipina woman and her young son in the Valley that also took an interest in helping her get settled in Texas.  All of these people… and all of their friends and relatives are still a part of our lives.  My wife’s sister and her family lived in California where dozens of cousins also lived.  They and my wife’s parents have since moved to Texas, along with two other sisters and their families.  You get the idea.  They are taking over.

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#2. As you can see, Filipinos love to take pictures.  Above is a picture from class where my niece goes to school back in Floridablanca in the Philippines.  People complain about pictures of food on Facebook.  My Filipino family puts the Food Network to shame.  Sometimes I can’t tell if they are eating another exotic Filipino dish with rice and meat or they’ve been putting firecrackers into fish and exploding them.  And the fish eyes are a delicacy.  Eeuw! My sisters in Iowa won’t even let me talk about the food at Filipino gatherings.  I have to be extremely careful of what I share on Facebook.

1013267_10201161984785458_2113452340_n #3.  To know about Filipino culture, you have to understand what Jollibee is all about.  Jollibee is the Filipino MacDonald’s.  Of course, it is cheaper… and better tasting.  There are a  few of them around the country here.  California has more than Texas.  They are like a giant Filipino magnet.  You go there to find the Filipino community in any American city.  But other people love the food too.  You have to sort the Filipinos from the Hispanics and white folks that are not too proud to eat cheap and delicious.

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Well, those are only about three things that you should probably know about Filipinos and Pinoy culture.  I haven’t even gotten into the thing about Matrilineal social orders or the evils of Karaoke addiction… but enough is enough for one day.  I have no idea how much trouble I am now in for revealing cultural secrets.  It could be a long cold night in the dog house.

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Filed under autobiography, family, humor, photo paffoonies

Sicky Saturday Art Day

I am not posting anything sick. I AM SICK. So, expect random pictures from my gallery file.

Cissy Moonskipper is now published and available on Amazon, along with Horatio T. Dogg, Super Sleuth, both of these being novellas. The Necromancer’s Apprentice is added to the soon to be published.
So, now I have pieced together another post on a day when I feel awful with possibly-Omicron (though I am triple vaccinated.)

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Chicken Soup Time (a twelve-line poem of recovery)

There comes a time when life really stinks,

A day when the life force grows green-brown and sinks,

Yes, I am ill and my every breath kinks,

And I cough and I burp and the end of the nose pinks,

So, I gather together under the covers,

The rotten parts of me over which the fly hovers,

And cook them in heat of the dreams of old lovers,

And fantasy dreams, whose richness discovers…

The stories that make the sum of my life,

And memories of people who’ve hurt me with strife,

And good things and great things and details all mixed,

And stew while I’m sleeping til things are all fixed.

Blue birdsxxx

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Staid and Lucid Nonsense

Yes, the graduating class of 1975 is somewhat in power now. Tom Hanks and Mel Gibson are both big names in movie making, and both were born the same year I was. Larry Bird, Joe Montana, and Sugar Ray Leonard have all made their marks in the sports of Basketball, Football, and Boxing already. They were all three born in 1956 too. Bill Maher, the comedian/talk show host shapes lots of political opinions with his show on HBO. He is also the same age as me. Unfortunately, Matthew Garber (the little boy in Mary Poppins), Carrie Fischer (Princess Leia in Star Wars) and now Bob Saget (the Full House dad) haven’t made it to this date alive. And Marcia Brady (as played by Maureen McCormick) has faded into obscurity while LaToya Jackson’s career has definitely suffered from her brother Michael’s notoriety. Those are all members of the group born with me and having the potential to be in my graduating class. But they are not exactly running the world at this moment.

Joe Biden is, I think, a member of Fred Flintstone’s graduating class. The geriatric crowd with Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, and Hilary Clinton are still running the world, at least until they can no longer get the proper old-fashioned batteries for their pacemakers.

Mitch McConnell is pictured here with two of the things he fears most in life. The fact that he still rules the Senate in spite of being the MINORITY leader, is one of the biggest oxymorons I could ever hope to spot. I do believe he has been dead for longer than most of his Senate colleagues have been alive.

Life has become an oxymoron in 2022, and is now considered to be seriously funny.

Teachers are being valued just the way that corporations and economically-minded leaders like Governor Greg Abbott and Governor Ron DeSantis have always felt they should be valued… thoroughly expendable. We have passed laws against teaching actual social history in terms of racism, civil rights, and the evil deeds of former rulers who are rich white guys because learning about those things might hurt the feelings of white kids. And teachers should not be allowed to protest and leave their jobs just because the State Legislatures of Red States want to prevent requiring vaccinations and mask-wearing as necessary in schools. It is the violation of somebody’s rights somehow to make anyone get the proper shots before entering the teachers’ workplaces, because it is important that teachers teach in classrooms, but they cannot insist they have a right to be as safe as possible from dying of Covid variants or the bullets from a student’s AR-15.

People who aren’t rich enough to have opinions should all just be quiet.

And meanwhile, Mickey has put another one of his novels up for promotion as a free e-book until Tuesday, January 18th, You should click on the link and get yourself a free copy. It makes as much sense as anything does in these staid and lucid nonsensical times.

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Exploring the Mind of Mickey

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One really weird thing that teachers do is think about thinking.  I mean, how can a person actually teach someone else how to think and how to learn if they don’t themselves understand the underlying processes?  Now that I have retired from teaching and spend all my time feeling sorry for myself, I thought I would try thinking about thinking one more time at least.  Hey, just because I am retired, it doesn’t mean I can’t still do some of the weird things I used to do as a teacher, right?

This time I made a map to aid me in my quest to follow the twists and turns of how Mickey thinks and how Mickey learns.  Don’t worry, though.  I didn’t actually cut Mickey’s head in half to be able to make this map.  I used the magical tool of imagination.  Some folks might call it story-telling… or bald-face lying.

Now, a brain surgeon would be concerned that my brain maps out in boxes.  He would identify it as a seriously deformed brain.  It is not supposed to be all rectangular spaces and stairs.  It probably indicates a severe medical need for corrective surgery… or possibly complete amputation.  But we are not going to concern ourselves with trying to save Mickey from himself right now.  That is far too complex a topic to tackle in a 500-word daily post.  We are just discussing the basics of operation.

You see the three little guys in the control room?  They are an indication that not only did I steal an idea from the Disney/Pixar Movie Inside Out, but I apparently have too few guys doing the job up there compared to the movie version.  (It probably makes sense though that a young girl like the one in the movie has a much more sensible configuration in her brain than someone who was a middle school teacher for 24 years.  Seriously, that job can do a bit of damage.)  The three little guys are not actually Moe, Curly, and Larry, though that wouldn’t be far from descriptive accuracy.  They are Impulsive Ignatz, currently in the driver’s seat (or else I wouldn’t be writing this), Proper Percy the Planner, and Pompositous Felixian Checkerbob, the fact-checker and perfectionist (also labeled the inner nerd… I am told not everyone has one of these).  They are the three little guys that run around in frantic circles in my head trying to deal with a constant flow of input and output, trying to make sense of everything, and routinely failing miserably.

I shouldn’t forget the other two little guys in my head, Sleepytime Tim in the Dream Center, and little Batty up in the attic.  I have no earthly idea how either of them function, or what in the heck they are supposed to do.  But there they are.  The other three run up and down stairs all day, locating magic mushrooms and random knowledge in the many file cabinets, record collections, book stacks, and odd greasy containers that are stored all around in the many nooks and crannies of Mickey’s mind.  They collect stuff through the eyes and ears, and it is also their responsibility to chuck things out through the stupidity broadcaster at various inopportune times.  It is also a good idea for them to avoid the lizard brain of the limbic system in the basement.  It is easily angered and might eat them.

So now you should be able to fully understand how Mickey thinks.  (Or not… a qualifier I was forced to put in by Checkerbob.)

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Potrzebie!!!

Potrzebie was first used in a story in Mad 11 (May 1954), where it was the exclamation of a character who spoke only in foreign languages and song lyrics, in “Murder the Story,” a parody illustrated by Jack Davis. It was used again in Bernard Krigstein‘s “From Eternity Back to Here!” in Mad 12 (June 1954) on an airplane advertising banner.

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Fourth appearance of the word in Jack Davis‘s “Book! Movie!” (Mad 13)’

I know, I know… Mickey! You are being totally obtuse in referencing this non sequitur running gag from the 1950’s in Mad Magazine. But that’s what a non sequitur is, wholly random and totally out of place, and therefore funny. I have been using that word randomly as an interjection of surprise, especially in my classroom since I discovered the word in reprints of old Mad Magazine comedy delights back in the early 1980’s. But I confess, I did not know it was a random Polish word for a system of measurements until I looked it up today.

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In Bernard Krigstein‘s “From Eternity Back to Here!” (Mad 12) the word “Potrzebie” made an early Mad appearance, flying over Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr, and a caricature of Jacques Tati in Mr. Hulot’s Holiday. The issue is dated June 1954, the same month the 1953 Tati film had a U.S. release.bo

You see it there in the backgrounds of both pictures, don’t you? Why is it there? I dunno.

And whyever did the word pop into my head today while walking in the park… especially since it has been eight years since I retired from teaching, and twenty years since I last actually used the word aloud (or maybe more)? I dunno. Again.

I also confess to having used the word to practice the new thing I learned about how to use my brand new Chromebook laptop, my Christmas present to myself since we don’t officially celebrate Christmas. To copy something you use ctrl + “c”, and to paste something you use ctrl + “v”.

So, here are some random practices;

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This was also drawn by the late, great Jack Davis.
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Hopefully this is also Jack Davis’s artwork.

So, now I know how to do it. Look out, world!

Potrzebie!!!

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Time For Wasting

wonderful teaching

When I was still alive and still teaching, maximizing and managing time was an incredibly important part of the day.    You had to activate learners with an attention step, a lesson focus that grabbed them.  Usually that had to follow a warm-up, something you got them to do as soon as you had smiled at them at the doorway, offered to shake their hand, and then pulled them into the classroom to do some work for you.  fifteen minutes at the start of the class to rev up mental engines and get the gears turning… shake out the rust and the cobwebs that accumulate the instant the final bell rang in the previous class. I timed that part of class down to the second with my pocket watch… or phone in later years.  Then, once the engines started, the focus is in place, you introduce the learning objective.  Never more than ten minutes… timed to the second… you give the explanation, the road map of the day ahead, the instruction.  Then for the next ten to fifteen minutes you let them discover stuff.  In groups, with a partner, teacher to class, student to class, or (rarely) individually, they must apply what you pointed out and figure something out.  It could be complicated, but probably it was simple.  All answers are welcome and accepted… because all answers will be evaluated and you learn more from wrong answers than you do from correct guesses.  Evaluation comes in the five to ten minutes at the end when you evaluate.  “What have I learned today?”  You try your hardest to pin something new to the mental note-board hanging on the brain walls of each and every student.  Depending on how much or how few minutes you are given before the final bell kills the lesson for the day, you have to put the big pink ribbon on it.  That tightly-wound lesson cycle goes on all day, repeated as many times as you have classes.  In that time you have to be teacher, policeman, friend, devil’s advocate, entertainer, counselor, psychotherapist, chief explainer, and sometimes God.  And you time it to the second by your pocket watch.

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I miss being the rabbit holding the BIG PENCIL.  Now that I am retired, I am no longer on the clock… no longer subject to careful time management.  My pocket watch is broken and lying in a box somewhere in my library.  I live now in non-consecutive time periods of sleep and illness and writing and playing with dolls.  I have entered a second childhood now.  Not really a simple one because of diabetes and arthritis and COPD and psoriasis and all the other wonderful things that old age makes possible.  But a childhood free of school politics and mandates from the school board and from the State.  A childhood where I can once again dream and imagine and create and play.  That’s what this post is if you haven’t already figured it out.  I am playing with words and ideas.  They are my toys.  Toys like this one;

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This, of course, is Tim, the turtleboy of irony, holding his magic flatiron that he uses for ironing out irony.  He is flattening it out now with a cartoony Paffooney and wickedly waggled words.  Ironically, I have often taught students to write just like this, making connections between words and pictures and ideas through free association and fast-writing.  Have you learned anything from today’s retired-teacher post?  If you did, it is ironic, because you were never meant to from the start.

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