Tag Archives: drawing

The Surrealist Manifesto (Second Edition)

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(This, dear viewer, is called “Portrait from the Jungle”.  Three images from 1980 magazines put together in a surrealist manner.  It’s intentionally kinda creepy… that is of course why there is a chicken in it.  Chickens creep me out.)

 

The Surrealist Manifesto ; or Why I have to Juxtapose Silly Stuff to Make Meaning by Mishmashing

 

To begin with, you have to picture me as a seventeen-year-old geeky kid in High School Art Class in 1974.  Yes, I was four-eyed, but not with the cool round granny glasses, but the black horn-rims that were not only cheaper, but much more dramatically out of date and out of favor with my peers.    I was a participant in Art 3, a class that meant I was an Art nerd for the third time in only three years of high school.  Yes, I could draw well, and all the girls cooed in their sexy cheerleader voices, “Ooh, I just hate you because you can draw so darn good.”  And I would blush because it sounded like praise, even though you may notice they actually said they hated me.

Now that you have that awful image foremost in the inner eye of imagination, I can reveal that that was the year I discovered the work of Salvador Dali.  Yes, that’s right, the dumb old melted watches guy with the handlebar mustache that looked like he’d taken a pencil sharpener to both ends.  The melted watches, naked people with all their parts grotesquely stretched out and draped over stuff, and a soft sculpture that would thoroughly disgust anybody with baked beans scattered all around the foreground.  These were the elements of what was called the surrealist movement.  Surrealism, according to the all-knowing Wikipedia, is filled with the element of surprise, unexpected juxtaposition, and non sequitur.    Silly old Andre Breton, the founder and chief sayer-of-what-is-true about surrealism, said that first of all it is a revolutionary movement.  Now, I grew up in a determinedly Republican and conservative household in North Central Iowa.  I had to look up juxtaposition in the dictionary just to know what the heck they were talking about.  Back then, of course, I used Webster’s, not Wikipedia.  I stood to lose significant portions of the hide on my behind if my family discovered I was using my swiftly enlarging and apparently all-knowing high school brain to investigate revolutionary ideas!  In fact, if I had realized that political surrealism had an affinity for both Freud and Communism, I probably would have closed the book on it myself.  Still, I was swept away.

I entered college a few years later convinced that my revolutionary art ideas were going to galvanize the world around me, that world being Cow College, otherwise known as Iowa State University.  I was going to revolutionize the novel form by writing everything about my little home town in Iowa and doing it in full color, comic book style panel cartoons.  My heroes would be small town people who took on the greatest of all issues in modern life and tackled them so brilliantly that it would create world peace, make universal happiness without the use of drugs, and be such great art that it would put my name in the art books right beside Salvador and Rene Magritte.  People would be studying my work for years to come.

This was the point in life in which I created some of my best characters, the Bicycle-Wheel Genius who shunned modern technology and created his own pedal-powered helicopter, the hippy hobo who wore a coat of many colors sewn together from pieces of patchwork quilts and ultimately knew the most important secrets of life, the universe, and everything, and of course, the numerous fools and clowns that would put Shakespeare’s Touchstone, Falstaff, and Bottom to shame.   I was going to revolutionize story-telling in cartoons! 

As you know, someone else invented the graphic novel.  I don’t even know for sure that I had the idea first.  Probably not.  And, with my lifetime of luck reminiscent of Joe Btfsplk, I developed arthritis at the age of 18 and had to curb my obsession with drawing comics.

So, a thirty year career as a middle school and high school English teacher taught me that life is a series of surprises, juxtapositions of an unexpected variety, and non sequiturs.  Where had I heard that before?  Ah, yes!  I had realized that life is an exercise in surrealism.  Therefore, now that I am finally on track to become the story-teller that I set out to be, I will be a surrealist.  I will take the surreal bull by his electric pink and curly-cued horns and say, “Whoa, kitty-kitty, don’t permafrost this old wombat!”  Why will I say that?  Is it to be a surrealist like Dali?  Heavens to murgatroid, Baba Louie!  Of course it is!

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Chuck Dickens and the Origins of Writing

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Don’t make the mistake of thinking I have any earthly idea where writing comes from or how it began.  I am only talking personal history here, nothing grander or more meaningful.  This post is only self-referential hoo-haw, which is a fancy way of interpreting “conceited crap”.

So, the truth is, I am writing about Charles Dickens because he is the author I most want to become.  True, I rant on and on about Twain and his humor.  And a good deal of my artwork owes everything to Disney, but everything I am good at in writing is based on Dickens.

The first actual Dickens novel that I read was accomplished during my extended illness as a high school sophomore.  I read in bed, both at home and in the hospital, from my library copy of The Old Curiosity Shop.  I was enthralled by the journey and subsequent tragedy of Little Nell.  I thoroughly loathed the villain Daniel Quilp and was roundly thrilled by his well-deserved fatal comeuppance.  It was my first encounter with the master of characters.  I followed that reading with a biography of Dickens that revealed to me for the first time that his characters were based on real people.  Mr. Micawber in David Copperfield was actually Dickens’ own father.  Little Nell was the cousin he dearly loved who died in his arms.    The crafty Fagin was a caricature of a well-known fence named Soloman, a Jew of infamous reputation, but not without his redeeming quality of caring for the orphaned poor.  So it is that I have chosen to make my silly stories about real people in much the same way Dickens did.  If you are now worried that since you know me, you may end up in my books, never fear.  I change names and splice characters together.  You will have to make an effort to recognize yourself.  And, besides, nobody reads my books anyway.

I also like the way Dickens uses young characters and follows them over time as they grow and change.  Oliver Twist was the first child protagonist in English literature.  David Copperfield, Nicholas Nickleby, and Pip in Great Expectations also like that.  David Copperfield, in fact, is Chuck’s own fictionalized self.  I fully intend to do the same.  It is the reason my books fall into the Young Adult category.  I also intend to employ the same kind of gentle, innocent humor that Dickens used.  I mean to portray things that are funny in a disarming, absurdist way rather than resorting to attack humor and bad words. 

There it is, then, my tribute to Charles Dickens, a writer who makes me be who I am and write what I write.  I am not supposed to do Christmas posts because of my avowed religion, but you can consider this to be as close as I can come.  The author of A Christmas Carol… it doesn’t get much more Christmassy than that. 

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The Fire Fighter (A Poem)

In the near past I have had a few occasions to face the choice of self-sacrifice or self-preservation.  As hard as that decision is, the more it becomes apparent you must face it, the more you must be ready to step between the people throwing punches, the more you must call the attention of an enraged attacker to yourself over their intended target, and the more you must ignore what it is you have to lose.  Thus, in this short poem, I imagine myself facing the flames of conflict.  I, after all, am Mickey too.

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The Fire Fighter

 

The man in the red hat…

Sometimes he stood there…

Looking at the fire…

Measuring the fire…

Then he picked up the hose,

And marched into the fire…

Knowing he would burn…

To save a home…

Save a building…

Save a life…

Because it was the right thing to do.

 

Now I am standing…

Looking into the fire…

Measuring the fire…

It is hot and horrid…

It will burn and kill…

And I have to pick up the hose,

And march into the fire…

Knowing I will burn…

To save the future…

To save hope…

To save a life…

Because it is the right thing to do…

And there is no other choice.

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Being and Artistry

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Being an artist is a matter of genetics, luck, and loads of practice.  I began drawing when I was only four or five years old.  I drew skulls and skeletons, crocodiles and deer on everything.  My kindergarten and first grade teachers were constantly gritting their teeth over the marked-up margins of every workbook and worksheet.  I drew and colored on everything.  I eventually got rather good, drawing in pencil, crayon, ink, and as you see here, colored pencil.  I loved to draw the people and things around me.  I also drew the things of my imagination.  I drew my best girl, Alicia, and I drew the half-cobra half-man that lived in the secret cavern under our house.  I drew a picture of the house across the underpass from Grandma Mary’s house.  I drew cardinals, and I drew Snoopy cartoons.  I drew my sports heroes in football and hockey, Donny Anderson and Gordie Howe.  I drew monsters with fangs and fuzzy animals with huge soulful eyes.  I still draw and it’s mostly the same things that I drew when I was a child.  I will post more of the drawings here in the near future to dazzle you with my talents and ridiculous sense of the absurd.

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Rooster Riding

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Do I believe in the little people?  Of course not.  If Tinkerbell depends on me, she is dead meat… or maybe dead fairy dust.

But if they do exist, then they are like the rooster riders in my picture, exploiting the world in the same way the big old slow ones do.  

They are not our inferiors or our superiors.  They are us.  They mirror us and our beliefs, our dreams… our nightmares, and all the things deep within us that could ever possibly go bump in the night.

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Novel Nooz

Novel Nooz

This drawing was created when I started this blog as a way of illustrating the kind of writing I wanted to do. Not only the book I published called Catch a Falling Star, but everything else I have written and plan to write. There’s a certain surreal philosophy expressed in this picture if you look at it right (squint your eyes and tap yourself on the temple hard with a brick).

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December 15, 2013 · 8:44 pm

Long Ago It Might Have Been

Long Ago It Might Have Been

This Paffooney was created with the mistaken idea that I would never have a child or be a Dad. Little did I know that after I turned 37 it would happen three times. This picture is one of my dream children, of the sort Charles Lamb once wrote an essay about. This is little Disney-Michael Beyer… a child who never was and re-created me in the birthing.

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December 14, 2013 · 2:05 am

Rabbit Walking

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In the novel I am working on at the moment, The Bicycle-Wheel Genius, I have a character that does something weird with rabbits that I used to do.  I had a plastic dog-walking collar and chain that I used on a pet who definitely was not a dog.  Ember-eyes was my New Zealand White buck rabbit.  He was a large rabbit with bright red eyes, whiter than snow.   He liked to go for walks, but it was definitely a dangerous undertaking for him.  Dogs lurked around the neighborhood wandering loose and uninhibited.  Dogs, of course, viewed old Ember-eyes as a tasty snack.  I never really got into trouble with that, though, until my neighbor and friend Harry brought home a baby raccoon.  He also bought a dog collar and chain, planning to walk the raccoon as I walked my bunny.  Did you know raccoons will attack and eat a rabbit?  Me neither.  But they will.  Nasty little hissy things they become when they are presented with food at the end of a chain.  And of course, it was a baby coon, so my buck rabbit was larger and more muscular than her.  And Ember-eyes didn’t like the idea of being a rabbit-burger for any teeny bandit that wasn’t even a proper predator.  So the scratching claw-fight went on for about fifteen hare-raising seconds.  I ended up carrying the victor back to his hutch, his heart beating so hard I could feel it with the hand I had under his behind.  Harry had to figure out how you treat claw wounds to the nose of a raccoon.  The vet didn’t want to see a vermin like that on his exam table any more than Harry’s dad wanted to pay the bill for it.  Some salve on the tip of the nose was the eventual solution.

In the Paffooney I have a picture of Tommy Bircher and his pet rabbit Millis.  Here he’s crossing Main Street Norwall in front of the VFW Hall. 

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Scary Dreams and Paffoonies

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Yep.  Danged snake-men used to keep me awake as a kid.  Kept checking under the bed… the closets…  Could one of them swim through the plumbing and get into the upstairs toilet?  One never knows.  Drawing them was a way to make them go away.

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What Does Paffooney Mean?

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You may have noticed the word “Paffooney” used in some of my posts.  You may have been deceived into thinking it is some kind of real word.  Sorry.  It isn’t.  It’s my own original made-up word for postable buffoonery, baloney, and goofiness… with accompanying picture.  Yes, the picture is the key, though it may have no discernible connection to whatever the heck I happen to be writing about.  It is an illustration for illustration’s sake… and a story for the sake of putting words with the picture.  I confessed early in my blogging endeavors that I am basically a surrealist.  I juxtapose disparate images and ideas and make meaning by forcing the relationship.  Of course, you have no idea at all what I just said, and rightly so, because I tend to speak in college-art-history-meta-cognitive-gobblety-gook-speak, a language I first learned in college and have since banged into weird word-sculptures over the last thirty-three years by trying to explain things in a classroom to teenagers.  (I love the job, but I do not recommend it for those with a loosening grip on sanity.)

So, here is the definition; Paffooney, proper noun, (Origin from a silly blogger’s head, consisting of Paff, meaning a silly cartoon sound effect, and fooney an even sillier derivation from buffoon and looney.)  A silly picture and post combination caused by a brain fart or other gaseous anomaly inside Mickey’s head.

Forgive me, for I know my sins are many.

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