This scary-faced man is the nutball known as David Icke. My essay today is not about him, but about his amazing conspiracy theory that puts to rest once and for all the notion that intelligent life exists on the planet Earth. His theory clearly shows that the correct answer to the notion is, “No, there is absolutely no intelligent life on the planet Earth.”
Seriously… this man believes there is a race of reptilian aliens living in the center of the planet Earth which is apparently hollow. But not content to live in the center of the Earth and kidnap people to eat, they morph into human form and replace world leaders and important humans with cold-blooded reptilian aliens. Queen Elizabeth of England is one. Both Presidents Bush are also aliens. He offers as proof that sometimes they begin to let their disguises drop and photos have been taken that reveal the true nature of these disguised individuals. Particularly if they are photographed or videoed poorly.
Or, you know, maybe the photos were altered slightly to bring out the change.
And you know that this theory must be true. David Icke has all those years as a soccer commentator to back up the validity of his analysis.
Anyway… I believe he is right. At least, metaphorically speaking. Many of the bad guys that keep winning against the odds and the interests of the American people are obviously cold-blooded lizards underneath. Especially Republicans.
Notice the simpering lizard grin. The self-satisfied smile of a blood-drinker who has recently slaked his thirst on the blood of other immigrants. He is elected by a State that is is largely made up of Hispanic immigrants, yet his idea of immigration reform centers around deportation and cruelty to people who nominally share the same cultural background as he does. He loves to eat machine-gun bacon, cooked on the hot barrel of an assault weapon that it is his sacred second-amendment right to own and to open carry. He is ever ready to stand his ground and shoot down anyone whom he might perceive as a threat, including, no doubt food-stamp-fed grandmothers and their children… or rather “Abuelas y nietos”. It is not hard to believe in his cold-bloodedness. And since he is obviously the darling of the Koch Brothers and other scions of the greedy right, it is easy to believe that he eats little children for breakfast. Or at least wants to take public assistance monies away from them to give it out in tax breaks to the wealthy corporate elites.
Senator Tedhkruzh, the lizard-man from the doomed planet Galtorr Prime.
These lizard politicians have sympathy for no one but the wealthy and the powerful, most of which are also presumably lizard people. And now that the Trumpasaurus Rex has taken over the White House, the lizard people are going to feast, stripping the bones of the poor and the helpless, along with the ground meat from the withering middle class.
Does all of this nonsense about lizards scare you? If it doesn’t, it probably should. But none of it is my fault. If you have to blame someone… it’s David Icke’s conspiracy theory.
Catch a Falling Star 
Lie la Lie
I suppose it is ironic that on Thanksgiving Day I am posting about lies. After all, I really am thankful for the lies in some very specific ways. Paul Simon’s song is the reason for the odd title and underscores the feeling I am trying to explain;
Yes, I am grateful that most of what the orange-faced man has said on the campaign trail has turned out to be lies. I thank the Lord that the great ball of cantaloupe-colored mouth-flatulence has indicated he might not actually pull out of the Paris Accords on climate change. That little item being a lie may save our entire planet and all life on Earth. I thank the Lord that the orangutan president has had second thoughts about prosecuting Hillary Clinton for crimes she didn’t actually commit.
I thank the Lord that the goal of repealing Obamacare is just a lie. My diabetes is grateful too. King Donald, seen in the photo above pitching snake oil and bananas to an innocent member of the American public, has strongly indicated he will keep all the good parts of Obamacare… and will basically just change the name to Trumpacare. Of course, he will be preserving high premiums and profits for the insurance industry as well.
I have a strong suspicion the wall is just a lie as well. In fact, the nature of President Cinnamon Hitler is such that if he is trying to keep alien secrets about Area 51 with the same talent for keeping secrets he displayed on the bus video and in his formation of a cabinet in his administrative transition, we may soon know the complete truth about Roswell.
But I’m sure you realize by now that all this is in the manner of lies and jests. In reality I am Paul Simon’s boxer;
Yes, I am beaten down by life. I have been lied to. I have been tricked. And if I only could, I would give that monkey such a punch! But we are all the boxer, all scarred. And we all together vastly outnumber the monkey’s minions. I may not live to see it, but it will always be a possibility, for as long as the fighter still remains. And I am thankful for that.
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Filed under aliens, angry rant, commentary, conspiracy theory, feeling sorry for myself, humor, lying, memes, politics, telling lies
Tagged as Donald Trump, lies, Obamacare, politics