Category Archives: cartoons

June 24, 2015 · 2:06 pm

Dr. Evil’s Removable Brain

Last time, after months of me waiting to play with my X-Box Baseball ’04, Captain Carl Action and the Action Super-hero-guy Team had actually found where in the Library Dr. Evil and his minions had been hiding.

It took an unbelievably long time for my Library to be liberated, but finally liberation was just around the corner…

So Dr. Evil threw a monkey wrench into the liberation plans with a carefully timed real-identity mix-up ploy.

Captain Carl had to stop and think for a moment… something that he only did when forced to do it,,, because, well, thinking is something that hurts quit a bit when you have a hollow plastic head with only a plastic armature for a brain.

Max Steele, the most practical member of the Hero-Guy Action Team, put Dr. Evil/Ming the Merciless down on the Dr. Evil mint-in-box box and began to saw with his Captain Action Lightning Blade.

Max sawed and whacked and hacked and smacked, and nothing seemed to even put a dent in the non-removable brain of Dr. Evil/Ming the Merciless.

Soon the Action Hero-Guy Team had to give up. The dumb plastic brain was all one piece with the rest of the plastic head and was not coming out. Dr. Evil/Ming the Merciless was simply NOT the answer.

Captain Carl was fed up. He couldn’t take any more of this thinking… There was only one thing left to do.

So Dr. Evil removed his removable brain and handed it to Carl, allowing me to repeat enough silly phrases and stupid words to get to the 500 mark for today.

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Filed under action figures, cartoons, humor

Tagged as action figures, adventure, Captain Action, cartoon, goofiness, humor, photo Paffooney, playing with dolls

June 22, 2015 · 3:04 pm

Another Dadgum Post About Pirates

This one isn’t about Bank of America or Aetna… specifically. It is just me adding to my cartoon vault and the story of the pirates in Fantastica.

This is the second panel of the story that can be found at The Pirate Vault

And panels three and four are all I have gotten done on this comic so far.

This nonsense will all be continued in upcoming days, and the whole thing is in my cartoon vault.

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Filed under cartoons, humor, Paffooney

Tagged as bankers, cartoons, goofiness, humor, paffooney cartoony, Paffoonies, Pirates

June 16, 2015 · 2:50 pm

Cartoon Nuts n’ Bolts… Mostly Nuts

I am setting out to make a web comic that I can post piece by piece on my blog and then build into a graphic novel in my vault. But that is a harder task than you might realize. The stories exist in rough draft form, very, very rough, but will have to be re-drawn to turn into something publishable. Naked cartoons are a problem for me. Not only do I draw them while I am naked because I have considerable discomfort from moderate plaque psoriasis and sitting in the nude is less painful, but I have a tendency to use naked ideas and even draw naked toons…which all need to be toned down to be publishable. I do believe that naked is funny… but I don’t hold with naked and crude or naked and gross. So I am going to rebuild these stories element by element and put some clothes on them. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough money to buy the equipment I need to draw directly on computer. I also don’t have any real practice at that. So, I am stuck with drawing on paper with pen and ink and colored pencil, and then digitizing the result with a camera and photo-shop. So here are some cartoon elements that I will now start whittling into shape. I will try to show you my process here as much as it is possible to do.

Here’s some nuts;

And here’s a bolt;

And if you can figure out how it all fits together already, then you are definitely smarter than I am. I will be busy in the next few days trying to figure out how to insert Tab A into Slot C without giving that phrase any unfortunate double meanings… and I will do my best to keep you posted and show you the results.

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Filed under cartoons, humor, work in progress

Tagged as cartoon-making, cartoons, goofiness, humor, naked is funny, Paffoonies, work in progress

June 8, 2015 · 3:53 pm

Five More Pages

When you are reading a good book, it is hard to stop even though you know you’ve no reading time left. It is hard to put the thing down. My comic book, Hidden Kingdom, is absolutely nothing like that. I am doing five pages today, and no more. I am adding them also to my vault. So maybe today’s the day you would be better served to go look at the whole thing (so far) in the vault.

Hidden Kingdom

Here are today’s five pages (along with another look at my goofy cover)

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Filed under cartoons, fairies, humor

Tagged as cartoons, fairies, humor, paffooney cartoony, Paffoonies

June 7, 2015 · 2:31 pm

Ghost Post #2

I am getting better. but the headaches have not gone away and it is hard to write. Give me time and I will do better.

Updated Cartoon Shorts

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Tagged as cartoons, humor, Paffoonies

June 6, 2015 · 2:13 pm

Ghost Posts

I am forced to cheat a bit today. I am ill, and I am trying hard to keep my ghost inside. But it is only cheating a little bit. I am posting today. I am using old cartoons. I am doing less than the target 500 words, but I have gone over the target all week, and it averages out. So this is a ghost post… not because a ghost writer is posting it, but because this writer is ill and trying not to become a ghost. So here are the ghost hunters again. You will help them most by NOT pointing at the ghosts and screaming. That kind of scare can’t be good for their health.

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Tagged as artwork, cartoons, cheating, ghosts, humor, paffooney

June 1, 2015 · 11:50 am

The Secrets in the Vault

Today I want to direct your attention to my vault. It is a new blog page where I keep cartoon stories that I intend to continually edit and update with new ‘toons. It is called Mickey’s House of Fiction. You can find it here;

Mickey’s House of Fiction

The Paffooney’s I offer today as a sample are merely the title page and introduction of a new cartoon project.

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Filed under cartoons, humor, Paffooney, Paffooney cartoony

Tagged as cartoons, dreams, humor, paffooney, paffooney cartoony, pen and ink, satire, vault

May 27, 2015 · 12:10 pm

Going Back to the Fairy Kingdom of Tellosia

Today, feeling quite lazy, I decided to revisit Hidden Kingdom. It will add to what I already have in the vault at this link;

Hidden Kingdom

I will pick it up with the last two panels that appeared a little too fuzzy for my taste. I will edit them in to the vault.

So now you know what a cartoonist does after writing a thousand words yesterday and feeling quite lazy today. He cheats and ducks responsibility. What are the going to do about it anyway? Turn me into a bird?

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Filed under cartoons, Hidden Kingdom, humor

Tagged as cartoons, fairies, goofiness, Hidden Kingdom, humor, Tellosia, vault cartoons

May 23, 2015 · 1:43 pm

Another Link to My Vault

Like a lazy idiot I have been posting stuff I’ve already created to Mickey’s House of Fiction and pretending that it means I am actually getting writing work done. Today’s cartoon story, Expelling Evil, the Series, attempts to exploit my constant playing with dolls to make a humorous adventure cartoon strip. I realize that it is still incomplete and most probably a spectacular failure (at least, as much of a failure as is possible without destroying the internet or making your computer explode). But it makes me laugh, and I have been wanting to put it all together in one place. So, here is the link;

https://authormbeyer.wordpress.com/2015/05/23/expelling-evil-the-series/

Here is a photo Paffooney from the story to help you remember how much you want to avoid reading it all again.

I do promise to add on to the end of it in Mickey’s House of Fiction every time I bore you with another episode and nearly make your head implode from reading it. The purpose of that plan being to allow to find all of it in one place and thoroughly ignore everything in one go.

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Filed under action figures, cartoons, cartoony Paffooney, my vault

Tagged as action figures, adventure, cartoons, doll collecting, goofiness, link, link to the vault, paffooney cartoony

May 22, 2015 · 11:27 am

Visiting Tellosia

In the novel I recently entered in the Chanticleer Reviews YA Novel-Writing contest, I used the fairy kingdom of Tellosia to be the land of the little people integrated into hometown Iowa. As part of my cartoon stories page, I intend to take up the tale of The Hidden Kingdom once again and expand and complete it. I will post it as a web comic on Word Press. I know I can’t make money giving it away for free… but I hope to have my stories and cartoons read a little bit more through the buzz I hope this generates. And perhaps Petit Zam can come up with some fairy magic that will help… so I can cast a spell on you.

Here is installment one of The Hidden Kingdom;