Yesterday evening we didn’t pass a milestone… we kinda ran into it.
Number Two Son Henry is about to become a licensed driver in December. Thursday night he finished his last drive time with driving school instructors. We have to wait for the road test, but nothing really stands in his way. He has been repeatedly practicing driving in Carrollton and Lewisville city traffic. Over the summer and into the fall he has compiled hours worth of driving experience. But, no matter how experienced, nearly everyone has at least one accident during their driving life.
We had stopped at Wendy’s to get dinner after school, the three of us, the Princess, Henry, and I. My diabetes was on the warpath yesterday, and I made the mistake of eating too much of a baked potato. So, I asked him to drive even though it was Friday evening rush hour traffic. He assured me he could handle it.
Well, we made the first turn onto the street on a yellow light and he accidentally caught the median curb with the driver’s side wheel. Then, as we bounced into the traffic stopped at the next red light, we crunched into the backside of a lady’s car as it innocently waited for the light to turn green.
The air bags did not deploy. There was no blood and death and fire. My biggest worry was the fact that we were all shaken by the incident. My hands were shaking anyway from blood sugar problems. So, we put the emergency lights on. I stupidly turned them off again. Then the lady appeared at the driver’s side window with a look of utter horror on her face, her hands shaking worse than mine. We exchanged insurance information. She called the police to get an accident report, but they were busy and told us that if we could drive away from it, we should, and they would look into it later. So, Henry realized the emergency lights were off and turned them back on. We took pictures of the accident (see above). Then we drove both cars into the Spring Creek Barbecue parking lot. The damage turned out to be minimal, consisting of scratched paint on both cars. There didn’t even appear to be dents. Henry then drove us homeward, and we got him to work on time. So it was basically a real-life jump scare that proved our hearts could still beat way faster than normal. And Henry got the first-accident milestone done with, before he even got his license. How fun! But let’s not do it again soon.
Catch a Falling Star 
Doom is Imminent, It’s Time to Sing!
Yessir, the Cubs have a chance to win their first World Series since 1908 tonight. They have not won the title since Tinker to Evers to Chance was the double-play combo of poetic proportions. They have never won in my lifetime, and I am quite old. So, there is proof positive the world is about to end.
Yes, I can even describe the mechanics of the thing. Donald Trump will be elected President of the United States thanks to Mr. Comey’s timely reveal of more scandalous emails that he has not read and chuckled about yet. You know, the ones that he couldn’t have actually read yet because they come from potential pedophile Anthony Weiner’s computer, and he had to have a separate warrant from a judge to read anything that may have to do with Hillary, even though probably none of them contain nude pictures from Hillary, and she probably didn’t even write those emails. The world had to know about that right before the election, especially members of the Republican House Committee for examining Hillary’s every boo-boo. So, the Donald will win, because nobody is doing any press conferences on the FBI investigation on his ties to the Russian government through the biggest bank in Russia. ‘Taint important, Pogo.
And once the great orange pumpkin-head is our next president, our health care will no longer be under the misguided protection of Obamacare. Instead, it will will be taken care of by “something terrific” that will make high profits for somebody, and make certain that I will never be able to pay another medical bill (since those who are deceased rarely do).
And, of course, President Pompadoodle will be able to declare that we no longer have to believe in the climate change hoax. The result being that we will soon be able to buy beachfront property in Iowa and Missouri, be able to purchase our breathable air in factory-made brick-form, and possibly grow a helpful third eye from the mutating effects of nuclear radiation.
And, lastly, I would like to thank the late great Walt Kelly for illustrating today’s post. One wonders how a cartoonist can look so far ahead from the 1960’s to do such a fine job of illustrating the problems of 2016? Will miracles never cease? I mean, really, we could probably do with a few less of these industrial grade miracles made out of recycled elephant poop.
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Filed under angry rant, comic strips, commentary, conspiracy theory, feeling sorry for myself, goofy thoughts, humor, politics, satire
Tagged as Chicago Cubs, Donald Trump, doom, end of the world, Hillary Clinton, humor, politics, satire, Walt Kelly