Okay, here is some bad news for a guy who suffers from hoarding disorder, especially when it comes to things like dolls and toys that he can play with while he’s supposed to be trying to be a writer in his burned-out sick-bed retirement. They are making a movie about Trolls at Dreamworks… and there are dolls already on sale.
The city is after me to repair the house and yard on the outside, especially the cracked swimming pool that now only seems to hold bug-water for brewing the next generation of West Nile and Zika squeetoes to bite me and immediately die from the toxic chemicals already in my sick old blood. I need to do more than just put mosquito poison in the water. They say I must have the filter operating and it must be clear enough to see the drain in the bottom of the deep end. Pool repair guy says the crack repair is in the neighborhood of $14,000, which is $16,000 more than I have to spend right now. I’m already not buying medicine any more for my six incurable diseases. I’m also not going to the doctor any more because he will just yell at me for not taking medication anymore… even though I actually feel better not having taken the blood pressure medicine for over a year now. So the plan is to clean and repair the pool myself. This apparently will satisfy the trolls at the city inspector’s office, at least until I die from the cold and rain we seem to be getting now.
But those aren’t the trolls I meant to write about today. I am writing about the little troll doll named Poppy that I bought for $5 yesterday at Walmart. She’s the pink one in the middle of my photo-paffooney. The one that’s not a nudist like the rest of my remaining troll collection. (My daughter, the Princess, played with my troll collection of over 20 troll dolls when she was smaller and decided they all needed hair cuts and make-overs that completely altered them and eventually murdered them when she learned to cut and melt plastic.)
So, the movie will feature a number of different trolls, the corresponding toys for which are already on sale in places where I will not be able to help myself from collecting the entire goofy little crew. And I do not have any place for them to live. I had to remove a section of Booggloopenstein Castle just to display the old trolls for a photo-paffooney. They will take over the house. And I know I should be out working on the pool instead of plotting where to put more trolls. But I just can’t help it. There is something irresistible about collecting ugly and goofy toys.