Randomness

Today’s artworks for Saturday Art Day are all filled with random things put together by chance and whimsy in order to mishmash together some kind of point about surrealism. This would be because this is a surrealist blog, and I am a surrealist artist and writer. Either that or it is because if you put fish in your ears, the color of the sky changes to swirling gold and purple. Those are some powerful fish!

Clowns and dreams and singing sad songs for love in the circus tent of your dreams.

Of course, Surrealism is more than just a pile of random things. As Salvador Dali did it, the random images were made as realistic as possible and connected together. There was some reason behind the juxtaposition of these otherwise unrelated things (like the line-up of weird uncles you get at the Thanksgiving table when your great grandma had nine kids, seven of whom grew old enough to have families of two or more kids, and everyone within driving distance is invited to grandpa’s farm house for a big-family family meal (even if they had to put a second kids’ table in the storm cellar).

Do candles, a naked breast, flying children, and Prince Young John Travolta mean anything?

Of course, the meaning that ties it all together can be a secret or hidden meaning. Salvador Dali was deeply in love with his wife Gala, who was thirty years younger than he. He had an older brother who died before he was born, making him forever feel like a “replacement child”. These things are expressed in his paintings. Did you ever discern that from his paintings of melted clocks and discarded masks being kissed on the lips by giant ants?

And what the hell does this even mean?

The Little Fool?

Subtitled; a novel of limited intelligence?

And it is a colored-pencil drawing of a candle, an empty skull, a budgie, a book, and a weird little goofy ghost dressed like Mr. Peanut… without the monocle or spats… does that make him naked?

And a pencil? Why?

Can you tell from my artwork that I chose a career of being a public-school English teacher over becoming a commercial artist or a cartoonist? Or that I was the victim of a sexual assault at the age of ten and then never told anybody about it until the guy who assaulted me was dead? Or that I was so afraid of my own body when I was young that I eventually had to become a closet nudist as an adult? And what does my artwork have to say about all of that?

And do you understand why Salvador Dali is an artistic hero of mine? And I love the movies of Stephen Spielberg for the exact same surrealist reasons?

If you regularly read this blog, or even just look at the pictures, you may have seen all of these pictures and heard all of these ideas before. I didn’t make this post from anything new. The only thing that is new… is how I randomly chose to put all of these things together in a way I haven’t done before.

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Filed under artists I admire, artwork, insight, Paffooney, strange and wonderful ideas about life, surrealism

Friday 13th and How the World Ends

A Flower Un-Blooming

Yesterday they canceled school at least until the 20th of March with an option to extend that for as long as needed. That protects me from infection, but puts my personal economics in jeopardy. No substitute teaching jobs in the coming week. Potentially they will cancel my two jobs lined up for the rest of March. Walmart sold out of bread, bottled water, and toilet paper in a couple of hours last night. I managed one loaf of bread in the check-out chaos. I wasn’t planning to buy bread last night, but if the week’s supplies are going to be gone…

So, here comes the potential pestilential apocalypse, full steam ahead and straight at us. Oh, well. It’s better than brain-eating zombies.

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Pandemic Ends to Everything

Being a pessimist, I am fully expecting to die from Corona virus sometime in the next few months. Our moron criminal President has not done anything in a timely matter to head off the pandemic. In fact, he did a good job of preparing for failure by firing and disassembling the special CDC unit Obama had put together for responding to potential pandemics because of the Ebola crisis. (Trump has made a very special effort in his administration to undo anything good that Obama did in his presidency.

Pandemics have nothing to do with panda bears.’

I am in the highest risk category when it comes to dying from the virus. I am not in a nursing home, but economically I have no choice but to keep being a substitute teacher, and that puts me in the center of germ and virus petri dishes that are middle schools and high schools. But, fortunately, I go into this perilous near-future with open eyes. If I die from it, I am prepared after a long full life, and I will die doing something I love to do. The economic hardships that fall on the members of my family when I am gone, will thankfully fall mainly on the credit-card abuser who caused most of that crushing debt and then refused to help me pay it all off.

I am now as confident as a total pessimist can be that Donald Jerblinkaninney Trump will be defeated in the next election. If I am still alive at election time, and he does win, that will be enough to kill me off right there. But even though it is no laughing matter, I will have the last laugh. Existence is eternal, and I have existed on this Earth, doing good things rather than bad.

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Go and Catch a Falling Star…

You may have looked at the name of my website here on WordPress and wondered, “Why in the heck has that fool Mickey called this thing he writes Catch a Falling Star?”

The answer is, he named it after the first good published novel he wrote at the insistence of the I-Universe Publishing’s marketing adviser. Very poor reason for doing anything, that.

But, the secondary reason is because of where that title came from. Look at the first stanza of this poem by John Donne.

So, now, you are justified in asking, “What nonsense is this? That doesn’t have any coherent meaning, does it?”

And you would be right. These are impossible things that I am being ordered to do by a very religious cleric in the Anglican Church who was originally a Catholic, but, in the time of Henry VIII Catholicism was made illegal, and he wrote this poem about not being able to find an honest woman in his drunken, wasted youth anyway. He is ordering me here to not only “catch a falling star” (and catching a meteorite with your bare hands has rather hot consequences), but also to have sex with a semi-poisonous plant, explain why we can’t go backwards in time, determine whether and why God might’ve given Satan goat feet, listen to probably-nonexistent humanoid creatures singing, find a way to avoid anybody ever looking at me with envy and then doing something to me because of it, and, most importantly, find a place where the wind blows in a way that fills your head with facts that actually makes you smarter.

Challenge accepted!

It is exactly what I wanted to write about. Impossible things actually being accomplished. Finding the meaning behind alien beings from outer space developing an intense love of I Love Lucy television broadcasts and Mickey Mouse Club music. Discovering why intensely shy people need to embrace social nudity. Defining who is actually a werewolf and who is not, uncovering who and what real monsters are. Singing songs so sad that it magically makes people fall in love with you. Talking to clowns in your dreams and getting real answers to the meaning of life, love, and laughter.

Catching falling stars is the stupid idea that this wacky, idiotic little blog is about. It is what I write about constantly. You have to kill me to get me to stop. So, there is your fair warning. Read on at your own peril.

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Filed under artwork, autobiography, goofy thoughts, Paffooney, poetry, strange and wonderful ideas about life, surrealism

AeroQuest 3… Canto 82

Canto 82 – Siege of the Seadome (the Blood-red Thread)

Ham Aero was chafing in the wrist cuffs.  He’d been stripped of his yellow and blue combat armor, as had Ferrari and myself.  We all lay on the hard metal floor of the seadome brig.  Ham was working at the cuffs, seemingly knowing how to break free in a Houdini-esque fashion.  He twisted them back and forth, rolling his knuckles over in a very interesting fashion.  I have never seen such a form of double-jointedness before.

“I am supposed to execute all three of you,” the black-suited commander was saying.  “I know I am supposed to, but I can’t see killing someone like you, Duke Ferrari.”

“Why don’t you let me go, then, soldier?” said Duke Ferrari in his oiliest political voice.  He almost seemed sympathetic to our captor and potential executioner.

“Admiral Tang has personally ordered your immediate execution.  What will I do?”

At that moment, the Commander of the commando team we came with came in with two armed guards.  He still wore his armor and seemed remarkably fit compared to the wear and tear that showed on the rest of us.

“Why haven’t you killed them yet?” he asked of the Black Commander.

“I had to confirm that the orders were not a mistake,” said Blackie. 

“Nonsense.  You know what the Admiral wants.  Just do it!”

“I called Planet Mingo Command to confirm the order before I do it.  I don’t want to kill the former ruler who did the most to help my people in his lifetime.”  The Black Commander took off his helmet to reveal a snake-eyed Human-Galtorrian face.  He was of the fusion race that dominated the Imperium.

“What happened to your loyalty?” Duke Ferrari asked the yellow and blue Commander.  “I thought you were on our side?”

“I am.  I don’t want his people to claim that you made a mess of things with your little rebellion.  The people idolize you, but they don’t realize what is actually good for them.  A government of a space empire cannot be a democracy.  You have to have order to maintain the rule over so many worlds.”

“Save me from military intellectuals!” moaned Ferrari.

“Give me the fusion gun, Commander,” said our former friend.  “I will take responsibility for their deaths.”

“Ruts rowing on here?” said the metallic voice of a mechanoid mutt, possibly a Great Dane.

I looked at Ham.  He had his hands free, ready to grab a gun and fight for our lives against impossible odds.

“Commander Doo!”  The two commanders stiffly saluted in utter surprise.  “What are your orders, sir?” said Commander Blackie.

“I rahnt rorder!  Rese men are under the protection of Rord Rayrond King!  Roo will not harm them!”

“What?  Lord Doo!  We have to kill them.  They are a danger to the Imperium.”

The snake-eyed commander seemed visibly relieved.  It was as if this message from the dog’s mouth was exactly what he wanted to hear.

“Will you release us, then?” asked Duke Ferrari.

“Res!” said the mechanoid dog.  “Roo are free.  Rord King rahnts it that way.”

“I protest!” cried our commando friend, our false friend.

“You’re a weasel,” said Blackie.  His slug-thrower gave off a quick blast, piercing the traitor in the chest plate of his armor.  As he slumped dead to the floor, Ham began freeing us from our cuffs.  The Black Commander helped.

“We are grateful,” said Duke Ferrari.  How can we repay you?”

The dog-mechanoid looked at us with artificial eyes, creepy eyes.  “Roo rill rule Farwind as risely as roo took care of riss sector before.  Re are all allies now.” It didn’t seem right to be set free by a mechanical talking dog, at least, not without a set of meddling kids to go with him, but I was in no mood to question our good fortune.

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Filed under aliens, humor, novel, NOVEL WRITING, Paffooney, science fiction

Terrible Times

It is finally looking like we may be about to get rid of the terrible tyrant Trump. He is now dealing with a real crisis not of his own making. The Corona Virus is going to do for Trump what Hurricane Katrina did for Junior Bush. And the unpardonable Republican sin of tanking the economy will occur because of Trump’s Tariff Wars and the broken stock market smashed by the Corona Pandemic, which is not only terrorizing this country, but shutting down the means of production of all Walmart goods and Apple parts that make our economy continue to fill rich people’s pockets off of the slave-labor wages paid to the Chinese workers who now have all the American manufacturing jobs.

Of course, if that sounds like the rich finally reaping the rewards of their bad karma, it is most certainly not. Rich folks in this society pass along the pain rather than suffer it. I am sure they will try to do the same with the virus. Is there not a way rich folks can pay to have someone else be sick for them? Surely there is.

No, it will be me and people like me who suffer the most. I have no emergency funds left for hospital bills. I am only half way through paying off my Chapter 13 bankruptcy. Corona Virus will be the death of me. And the loss of my income and the unpaid bills will put my family on the streets.

Our house is an older home. The plumbing is disintegrating. The electrical systems are breaking down. We can no longer bake anything in the electric oven. The dryer doesn’t work anymore. One toilet in the house can no longer be used. The central air conditioning is dead. We may soon lose the hot-water heater. And the house is our only asset. We may soon lose it to the local tax district. Or it may fall down because of foundation damage from too-frequent Texas rains that we never used to get.

But I am okay. I am definitely not alone. And it will make me happy to see Donald Trump defeated in November (should I manage to live so long), and be locked up for the rest of his miserable life for all the crimes he has committed in the past, present, and probably future. Terrible Times are here again… Hurrah?

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Beautiful and Brilliant

I have looked deeply and longingly at my own writing time and again trying to determine what is good and what is poorly done and what is the best that I have written. How does one examine what is good? What are the standards that you must meet?

I had a writing teacher who was teaching a class in fiction writing and said to us, “You write fiction to create that special bittersweet something, that je ne sais quoi, that you need in order to come to terms with reality. Everything necessary to say something that satisfies a nameless desire.” I wish I remembered his name so I could credit him with having said that wise thing. Or, at any rate, I wish I could remember the name of the wise guy that he was quoting.

So, basically I am trying to capture in prose something that I have no idea what it is, but both you and I will know it if we see it. Easy-peasy, right?

Good fiction that I have read and liked makes me feel something. If it is truly literary quality, like the novels of Charles Dickens, Terry Pratchett, and Mark Twain, it will make me both laugh and cry. Funny things balanced by things that hurt to know and make you weep for characters that you have come to love. If it is a downer kind of novel, as some very good bits of science fiction and horror fiction are, it will make you laugh a little, cry a little, and think a lot; think with dread, or despair, or even impossible hope. Steven King, George Orwell, H.P. Lovecraft, and Ray Bradbury are good examples of this.

I am grappling with how you do that. I am not fool enough to think I am some sort of literary great. I am a school teacher writing stories for school children, stories I wanted to hear when I was a kid. Stories of good versus evil, good people coming together in the face of chaos. Heroes, villains, and clowns being heroic, villainous, or foolish. And themes that both warm and chill your little blue heart.

. So, what can I do besides keep on writing and keep on trying and keep on begging people, fools, and children to try reading my writing because they will like it, even if it is the least best thing I have written?

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Filed under humor, NOVEL WRITING, Paffooney, strange and wonderful ideas about life, writing, writing humor

Book Cover Art

I have taken a vow to do only my own covers for my books from here on out. I can draw well. And I have a good artistic eye, at least until I lose my eyesight to glaucoma because I can’t afford eye doctors. So, today’s Art Day post will be about the covers to my books.

The spines of my 14 published books.
This clunky cover was my first published book, published by a big-mistake publisher called Publish America, a company that dissolved in class-action lawsuits.
I vowed to start making my own covers.

I-Universe insisted on giving me a cover that had nothing to do with the story in the book. A girl flying a kite at night? What is that? At no point in the story does anything happen that is even remotely like that.

Page Publishing at least used my own artwork to create the cover for Magical Miss Morgan. They were also incompetent publishers selling me overpriced publishing services that were basically worthless.

These are the covers that I used to replace the first clunky publisher’s cover.

This is the picture I wanted to use on the cover of Snow Babies. But the pixel size of the background photo was too big to use it in larger than postage-stamp size.
A version of this is what I had to settle for in a letter-boxed format.
Here’s the cover of… well, you can see that for yourself.
Recipes’ companion novel, same time, same place, same events, but a different point of view.
The illustration for The Bicycle-Wheel Genius cover.
Like Baby Werewolf and Recipes for Gingerbread Children, this one has a companion book.
This is the other half of Sing Sad Songs.
Stardusters is the sequel to Catch a Falling Star
This is now the only book of mine not published on Amazon.

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My most-recently published novel.
My re-published novel.
The first novel I ever wrote and didn’t throw away.
My current work in progress

So, there is a look at the current state of my novel covers. Not professional, but original.

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Curiouser and Curiouser

I finished a possible cover for my work in progress, A Field Guide to Fauns. It is a book about re-forming families from tragedies and divorce. It is also about suicidal thoughts and depression. And it takes place in a nudist park where the family has a permanent trailer.

This book will definitely be about some of my own experiences with these things and issues. And I hope to distill a bit of high-quality wisdom from this brewing novel. After all, when it comes to depression and battling it, I have deep scars and burned-in notions of how you overcome them. It is ironic that I know so much about fighting depression and darkness, even though it was mostly about the depression of other people, not me.

I have come to know how to stitch families together out of used and discarded parts. Hopefully not creating a new monster. And again, it is ironic that I know this mostly from other families, not ours.

The book is flowing, practically writing itself. And that is always a sign of a big idea turning itself into a great novel. I look forward to finding out what happens in each and every next chapter… or, in this case, Canto.

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Filed under battling depression, Depression, feeling sorry for myself, finding love, humor, illustrations, novel, novel plans, NOVEL WRITING, Paffooney

Things Go Awry

Things go awry,

Like dropping apple pie,

Cause you’re really not too spry,

And don’t know the reason why…

And the pipes have sprung some leaks,

And our house now really reeks,

And fixing it takes weeks,

And even hero Aquaman freaks,

At the water in the hall,

And the dampness over all,

That the fish began to call,

A real big water wall…

But we have done this all before,

And the rain begins to pour,

As our luck flows out the door…

THERE IS WATER ON THE FLOOR!

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