
What works best when the internet is constantly losing the signal is to make the post as simple as possible. So here’s a picture I love to show off.

What works best when the internet is constantly losing the signal is to make the post as simple as possible. So here’s a picture I love to show off.
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The crucial Iowa trip began with a rocky start, so rocky in fact, it almost seemed like an avalanche was rumbling down the mountainside of the future to crush us body and soul. I say it was a crucial trip because of the pandemic that kept me caged in Texas for the past two entire years. My father died in the meantime, And my mother, at 86, is gradually fading with poor heart health as well.
We had vehicle issues. The RV needed an oil change, and so, it was in the shop for an entire day longer than the mechanic had quoted to us when we took it in. True to form power outages and internet outages prevented us from getting the crucial maintenance in a more timely fashion.
And as we were nearing our destination, we learned that my mother was in the emergency room with raging high blood pressure. Another unexpectedly gloomy delay. I cried when she finally got released from the hospital and I was able to hug her once more.
And of course, the very next morning, Mom’s blood pressure was way too high once again. We called the ambulance and spent a tough morning with her looking gray in the face, and the rest of us were a little green with worry.

But Mom’s meds were re-adjusted and began doing what they were supposed to do. She was released rather than admitted to the hospital again. And this morning the sun came out. She’s a hundred percent better and the world is right again.

So, I took some pictures of the sunshine on the farm place, and I feel better about the world now too.
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This is a silhouette of the statue of Will Rogers where he stands above the turnpike that bears his name in Oklahoma. We are headed home to Iowa for the first time in two years. Old Will has helped us get there more than a few times since 1981.
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I start today with nothing in my head to write about. I guess I can say that with regularity most days of the writing week. Sundays in particular are filled with no useful ideas of any kind. But I have a certain talent for spinning. As Rumpelstiltskin had a talent for spinning straw into gold, I take the simple threads of ideas leaking out of my ears and spin them into yarns that become whole stories-full of something to say. And it is not something out of mere nothing. There is magic in spinning wheels. They take something ordinary and incomplete, and turn it into substantial threads useful for further weaving.

Of course the spinning wheel is just a metaphor here for the craft of writing. And it is a craft, requiring definable skills that go well beyond merely knowing some words and how to spell them.

The first skill is, of course, idea generation. You have to come up with the central notion to concoct the potion. In this case today, that is, of course, the metaphor of using the writing process as a spinning wheel for turning straw into gold. But once that is wound onto the spindle, you begin to spin yarn only if you follow the correct procedure. Structuring the essay or story is the next critical skill.
Since this is a didactic essay about the writing process I opened it with a strong lead that defined the purpose of the essay and explained the central metaphor. Then I proceeded to break down the basic skills for writing an essay with orderly explanations of them, laced with distracting images to keep you from dying of boredom while reading this, a very real danger that may actually have killed a large number of the students in my writing classes over the years (although they still appeared to be alive on the outside).

As I proceed through the essay, I am stopping constantly to revise and edit, makeing sure to correct errors and grammar, as well as spending fifteen minutes searching for the picture of my mother’s spinning wheel used directly above. Notice, too, I deliberately left the spelling-error typo of “making” to emphasize the idea that revising and proof-reading are two different things that often occur at the same time, though they are very different skills.
And as I reach the conclusion, it may be obvious that my spinning wheel of thought today spun out some pure gold. Or, more likely, it may have spun out useless and boring drehk. Or boring average stuff. But I used the spinning wheel correctly regardless of your opinion of the sparkle of my gold.
In the wind-down of the Covid19 Pandemic we need to be more aware of our fragile health as a species than ever. Homo Sapiens is suffering now from ills of its own making. And yes, the virus itself probably has a zoological origin, the whole bats-and-pangolins-in-a-wet-market-in-China thing, and it may have been an accidental leak of virus out of a virology lab in China. But it is not a Chinese bio-weapon plot, no matter what Cucker Tarleson thinks… or says he thinks because he’s paid well to think it.
It is a matter of decades and even centuries worth of human greed and rampant profit motive. We are killing the world with industrial waste and increasing the heat world wide with the blazing fires of greed-meets-profit-motive intentions.
The furnaces of industry keep firing up when we need them to cool down and stop.
Even healthcare is monetized in this country to the point that financial predators are gorging themselves by creating economic pain in most of us.
And the political world is rabidly on board with protesting masks and social distancing in order to keep the plague raging and the sweet healthcare dollars rolling in. Not for the benefit of doctors and nurses, mind you. They are not the ones reaping the rewards. In fact, many of them are victims too.
I am stuck at home again now thinking about this again because my number two son and I are possibly under quarantine again. He had Covid once already, a year ago, and he was vaccinated in May. But now he’s sick in bed awaiting the results of another Covid test. It’s either that or a five-day bout of regular flu.
The worst of the many fears is that this is a vaccine-immune variant virus. If that’s what it is, I am probably doomed even though I am already vaccinated too. Oh, well. It’s been a good life. I hope the rest of the human race can conclude that too, as the next pandemic, or heat wave, or global extinction looms in the near future.
But take care… and be aware… because miracles have happened before.
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This is a place I explore in cartoons and daydreams. It is a little town known as Animal Town for fairly obvious reasons. It is populated by silly anthropomorphic animals who wear clothes and keep naked people as pets.

Animal Town is one of the all-time silliest places to visit in the cartoon dreamland of Fantastica.

Mandy Panda and little brother Dandy are my constant companions and guides when I tour the dangerous streets of wild Animal Town. In my cartoons, Mandy is an immigrant from the Pandalore Islands. She is also the cartoon version of my wife.

Three of the Town’s most important head monkeys.
It was Mandy who introduced me to the government officials who run Animal Town. Judge Moosewinkle is the head of the Animal Town court system. He is a hanging judge, so I am very careful about littering and loitering when I am in town.
Constable Geoffrey Giraffe does all the arresting and police work. He used to work in a toy store, but quit his job there when he couldn’t get them to stop writing the R backwards on all their signs. Grammar infractions annoy him more than any other crime.
Linus the Kitten-Hearted is the mayor of Animal Town. They wanted to crown him as king, but he always says that’s only for when he’s in the jungle. In town he prefers to be a democratically elected leader. Of course, if you refuse to vote for him, he might eat you.
Most of my dreams in Animal Town are about the school there.

Yes, this is a yearbook picture from Animal Town Elementary School.
Miss Ancient’s Class of 5th graders is usually rather rowdy and difficult. You may have noticed there is a bare bear in the old buzzard’s class. The fact is, the bears in Animal Town are all naturists and refuse to wear clothes. This disturbs poor Miss
Ancient greatly, and it is therefore a real godsend that a fig leaf just happened to be drifting down through the air at the time this picture was made. Bobby Bare is not shy, but some things are better not put into a cartoon.

Yes, this is another yearbook picture. And I am in it twice, since Mr. Reluctant Rabbit is also me.
As a visitor to Animal Town, Cissy Bare took me to Mr. Rabbit’s class as her pet for show and tell. She is also a bare bear, and she also benefited from a passing leaf at picture time. You may notice students putting rabbit ears behind each other’s heads in pictures… something that human children do too in real life. But when I study this picture, I can’t help but think that maybe Mr. Rabbit started it. Now, Animal Town is located in Fantastica, a part of the Dreamlands. So that sort of explains how I ended up in school naked. My dreams are like that. You are in school in the middle of lessons before you realize that haven’t got a single stitch of clothing on.

When I am inevitably charged with public indecency for being in school naked, I can turn to Animal Town lawyer Woolbinkle Moosewinkle. He is totally incompetent and not very bright, but unlike most of the animals, he is friendly and on my side. Spot Firedog is a Dalmatian who knows how to use a newspaper. He is a reporter, publisher, and all-around good dog. He wrote an expose on me being naked in the Animal Town Elementary school.

Big Bull Beefalo runs the local hamburger emporium, which might seem like collusion to cannabalism, but Bull is a very gentle and very large soul. He is himself a vegetarian, but he is a gifted fry cook and chef. I can go to his restaurant when I get out of jail, though hopefully not as food.
So, Animal Town is a very different kind of place. It is the result of dreams and goofiness and uncontrolled spurts of cartoonist creativity. It is a cartoon sort of place where spontaneous and random humor happens.
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Since my daily blog-posting streak reached 99 days, the WordPress Notification bell has been reminding me daily that I am still streaking. Today is day 125. That, of course, is really no big whoop. Back in 2015 I managed at least one post every single day of the year. Celebrating writing every day is kinda like celebrating breathing every day. I should be grateful for such a sustained life-maintaining function, but that is precisely what it is.
I would be dead by now If I could not write every day.
Of course, there are days when I am sick and don’t type.. There are days full of travel and doctor’s office appointments and general business that keep me from posting some days. But the writing voice in my head keeps on dictating jokes, observations, questions, and all manner of other things poetical worthy of noting… and writing down somewhere if possible.
My brain goes berserk if I cannot make connections between things. It gets weary from the thought of too many golden ideas being crowded out of my head by new thoughts, spilling out of my ears before being recorded, and evaporating into the ever-present ether of forgetfulness.
I write because I have to. It is as simple as that. Even though it makes me metaphorically naked before the entire world, all of my innermost private things eventually revealed. if I did not do it, I would simply no longer exist. The sentence would simply stop in the middle and…
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** Note** This is the new work in progress displayed on Tuesday while AeroQuest 4 is undergoing final edits and publication.

Bobby Niland, Farm Boy
Bobby was absolutely certain that turkens were the absolute stupidest birds ever to haunt a farm yard. His dad and his grandfather had both had the challenge of raising hogs and keeping milk cows in the barn. But no more. In the 1990’s you raised corn and soybeans in alternating fields. And if you raised any farm animals at all, it was only a calf for 4-H projects, a pen of hogs, either black-and-white Hampshires or white American Yorkshires. Or some kind of chickens.
And turkens were a kind of naked-necked chickens. Yes, like a half-turkey, half-chicken thing with a featherless neck. In Iowa, no less! The stupid things, by rights, should freeze their stupid heads off in the cold of an Iowa winter. But miraculously, the buzzard-necked little uglies were better at surviving winter for some reason than actual chickens were.
Mom actually liked turkens. She said they were much more like pets and easier to handle than regular chickens that her parents, Grandpa and Grandma Wickham always had on their farm when she was a girl.
But the turken in the old horse trough that morning had to have been the dumbest damned bird in the history of stupid chickens. How does a stupid bird like that, one who’s supposed to be scratching around on a farmyard for worms and grubs and kernel corn that Bobby dutifully fed them, end up drowning in a horse trough? Did it suddenly wake up that morning and think it was a duck? Or maybe the local fairies had put a spell on it and convinced it that it should be a penguin for a day. However it happened, Bobby now had to tell Mom that one of her birds was dead. Drowned in the horse trough that she had been nagging Dad to get rid of.
As Bobby trudged towards the back door of the farmhouse, Horatio came bounding up to greet him.
Horatio was a collie. An old one, but a good one.
“What’s the matter now, Robert?” Horatio asked.
Did I forget to mention that Horatio was a talking dog? Sorry about that. He also wore a green pork pie hat and smoked a Meerschaum pipe. Really, he did. At least, that’s the way Bobby saw him.
“It’s the stupid turken. You know, the rooster Mom calls Little Bob. The damned thing drowned in the horse trough out back of the barn.”
“That is most unfortunate. Especially since she named that one after you.”
“She didn’t. I told her I didn’t want no chicken named after me. And she said it wasn’t named after me. She named it after Great Uncle Bob. Grandpa’s older brother.”
“Of course she did. But maybe you are named after him too.” Horatio puffed on his pipe and blew some smoke rings out of the side of his mouth. That was a real good trick too. People who blow smoke rings from pipe smoke, like Great Uncle Randall, Grandpa Wickham’s younger brother, take the pipe out of their mouth to do it. Of course, Horatio had no hands. “Why don’t you come with me over to the horse trough, Bobby? Maybe I can apply my sensitive nose to the area and gather some clues to what really happened.”
“Okay. That can’t hurt.”
So, together, the boy and his dog walked over to the horse trough behind the barn. Horatio sniffed around the area and found some loose turken feathers.
“It seems there may have been an unwelcome visitor here,” Horatio said between puffs on his pipe.”
“What kind of visitor?”
“The verminous kind.”
“That’s a good word. I read it in the Sherlock Holmes book I’m reading at school. It means a pest like a rat or a mouse or maybe a weasel. Can you say which it was?”
“Of course not. You don’t know the answer to that question yourself, and dogs don’t really talk.”
“Well, can you at least guess?”
“Sure. Those tracks in the mud are mostly turken tracks, but some of the littlest feet might be rats.”
“Oh, yeah. I see that now.”
“A better theory to tell your Mom than that the turken thought it was a penguin for a day.”
“Well, fairies mighta cast a spell on him.”
“But you know fairies aren’t real either, right?”
“You know I saw one last year when I was in Miss Morgan’s class.”
“Yes, but you also thought you were turned into a swan by fairy magic at one point. That couldn’t have been real either.”
“I know you are right, Horatio. But there are some things that I just would prefer were real.”
“Like a talking dog who can solve crimes and smoke a pipe?”
“Yes! Exactly like that!”
You may be about to hear a story now that is seen mostly through Bobby’s eyes. And believe me, that is an unusual experience to have. So, hang onto your green pork pie hat, and let’s go on that sort of adventure that liars and fools always are having.
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This is published book #20.
It is enjoying its moment as a free book on Amazon for a five-day promotional period that ends tomorrow , 6-22-21 at midnight. You can still get a copy. It is a novella, so it is a very quick read. It is a novella of only 15,ooo words, so it is a quick read. It is a YA novel with a 12-year-old female protagonist. There are no living human adults in this story (except for artificial ones via hologram.)
The promotion has given away seven copies of Cissy Moonskipper’s Travels at this writing. It is one of 19 self-published books. I still have one book with I-Universe, that being Catch a Falling Star.
My contracts with Publish America and Page Publishing are both ended. I couldn’t recommend either publish house. Self publishing is better.
My blog, the one you are looking at at this moment, has 2013 followers.
I also have 3,033 followers on Twitter. @mbeyer51
My Facebook page, @telleronsinvadeiowa · Book, has 1,045 followers.
I have been writing my whole life long, but only publishing that writing since 2007. I have been actively marketing my books since 2013.
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This post is going to sound an awful lot like stuff and nonsense, because that is what it primarily is, but it had to be said anyway. Last night my family took me to see the movie Saving Mr. Banks, a deeply moving biographical story of P.L. Travers, the creator of Mary Poppins, and how she had to be convinced to surrender her beloved character to the movie industry which she so thoroughly detested and distrusted. It is also about one of my most important literary heroes, Walt Disney, and how he eventually convinced the very eccentric and complicated authoress to allow him to make her beloved character into a memorable movie icon.
“We create our stories to rewrite our own past,” says Disney, trying to tell Mrs. Travers how he understood the way that her Mary Poppins character completed and powerfully regenerated the tragedy of her own father’s dissolution and death. This is the singular wisdom of Disney. He took works of literature that I loved and changed them, making them musical, making them happy, and making them into the cartoonish versions of themselves that so many of us have come to cherish from our childhoods. He transforms history, and he transforms memory, and by doing so, he transforms truth.
Okay, and as silly as those insights are, here’s a sillier one. In H.P. Lovecraft’s dreamlands, on the shores of the Cerenarian Sea, north of the Mountains of Madness, there roam three clowns. They are known as the Boz, the Diz, and the Bard, nicknames for Charles Dickens, Walt Disney, and William Shakespeare. These three clowns, like the three fates of myth, measure and cut the strings of who we are, where we are going, and how we will get there. They come to Midgard, the Middle Earth to help us know wisdom and folly, the wisdom of fools.
Why have I told you these silly, silly things? Do I expect you to believe them? Do I even expect you to read all the way to paragraph four? Ah, sadly, no… but I am thinking and recording these thoughts because I believe they are important somehow. I may yet use them as the basis of a book of my own. I enjoy a good story because it helps me to do precisely as Mr. Disney has said, I can rewrite my own goofy, silly, pointless past.
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