
I believe I warned you last Saturday that I had a lot more stupid stuff to share about Non-Player Characters in D & D. I probably let it slip that I really like playing all the weird parts and the monsters about to be slaughtered. I intend to share more of those strange characters today, so you can get a real sense of why my D & D games get so out of control and my children are turning into sword-wielding sociopaths.

Barkley is not exactly the family dog. He’s a gnoll. That means he’s a monstrous hyena-man who would be inclined to hate and eat humans were he not raised from puppyhood to gnollhood by a beautiful female elf cleric. He now hates the gnolls (and probably eats them) because in the first D & D adventure, his gnoll brothers tried to kill and eat his beloved elf mother. He traveled with the Player characters for about three adventures. And though they treated him like a dog, they came to rely on him in several tough battles. He proved his dog-like loyalty and learned some critical spy skills from them, so he became a Dark Lantern (a secret agent for the kingdom of Breland) and began a life of hunting and killing evil gnolls.

Mysterious Mara was one of the few civilian survivors when the weretigers attacked the lightning rail train with the player characters aboard it. She tagged along because she would not have survived otherwise. She has never revealed her true identity, and it’s a real mind-blower related to the royal court of Aundair, but the player characters have been too busy with other things to look into the mystery. In fact, she is what the D & D manuals call an “adventure hook” because following up on her essential mysteriousness would’ve led them into the middle of a kingdom-crashing conflict. In the meantime, they have been feeding her, teaching her to make use of her natural acrobatic skills, and generally befriending her, not realizing she is the reason so many enemies of Aundair have been tracking and attacking them.

Caitian Redfurr is a shifter, one of those half-men with the abilities of a cheetah, able to run like a rocket and use speed to best her foes. She has been a part of the campaign since just after Barkley joined. Her son, Night Sky, is the son of a former Dark Lantern leader whose ghostly presence now inhabits Fate’s head. She has used her skills with a sword, and her skills with a bow, and her skills with Talaen Kara, the intelligent double-bladed weapon, to save their fat from goblin cookfires on numerous occasions. The players are fond of her and trust her as basically an added member of the family.

Finally for this Saturday, I mentioned Turkoman last week. He is what is called a “patron” in D & D NPC-terms. He’s the man with the expertise when a beloved character is cursed with frogs hopping out of their ears or is turned completely to stone by a gorgon’s kiss. He also provides necessary magic items, spells, enchantments, and critical advice that can help bring an adventure to a conclusion. When needed, he can even lend a hand in the actual adventure, giving the characters a chance to overcome difficult odds and find adventures that they would not otherwise have access to.
So, once again I have passed my word limit and must draw to a close with so much more to tell. Even if you are bored stiff by D & D nerd-ism, I intend to inflict more upon you in the future. So be warned, be wary, and watch out for curses that make frogs hop out of your ears.

















Stranger Things Too
I admit it. I binge-watched Stranger Things 2 this weekend, just like everyone else who fell in love with the original.
The monster is bigger and scarier this time. It uses new versions of last year’s monster for minions. The characters are growing and changing and falling in love. If anything, I love the characters as people even more than last time.
The whole thing is very seriously set in 1984. You know, the year of Ghostbusters as a summer blockbuster. References to D & D, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and visual homages to Speilberg movies, gritty urban dramas like The Warriors, and the video game Dragon’s Lair don’t merely set the scene, they are cultural references artfully used to weave the story together and move the plot, providing short-hand explications of science-fiction-y ideas and Steven King tropes. There is story-telling mastery to be marveled at here.
And my favorite thing of all here is the satisfying collection of resolutions to ongoing issues. Eleven re-connects with her past and separates herself from it again. She finds a place for herself and someone to love her, in more ways than one. Jonathan and Nancy and Steve work on their love triangle. And Joyce and Hopper move closer together in spite of the tragedy that tears Joyce’s world apart. (I can’t talk about Bob. I identify with Bob. He is just like me in so many ways. And what happens to Bob? Ack! There have to be horrors in horror movies. And the best ones rattle the foundations that you live on.)
I am the Uncritical Critic. I only tell you about the things I love when it comes to movies, TV, books, and music. And I definitely love this.
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Tagged as Duffer Brothers, story-telling, Stranger Things, Stranger Things 2