Tag Archives: humor

The Black Wizard

Admit it, you’ve been expecting a post about the Black Wizard.  Haven’t you?  Or is it just crazy old Mickey thinking he represents the other shoe that needs to drop?  Well, I do get kinda goofy talking about Dungeons and Dragons, don’t I?

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The Black Wizard had a name that the player characters eventually learned… but I have stupidly forgotten what it was.  So, I merely refer to him by the name they knew him by for most of the game.  He was a personal nemesis to two of the player character wizards.  He is shown here kidnapping Balin, the young son of the wizard LeRoy, my brother’s fifteenth level wizard.  He also faced off against Asduel, the Sorcerer played by young Fernie the flunkie who was in my eighth grade English class for two consecutive years.  Neither one could defeat him by themselves, and they never played in the same game at the same time.  

The Black Wizard lived in Fort Doom, a haunted military base from the frontier of Ancient Starnor.  He had designs on the Castle Kingdoms of the north like Tol Arriseah, Gansdorf, and Selonica.  It was thought that he was the evil twin of the powerful wizard Merlini, but was so twisted by black magic that even Merlini no longer recognized him for certain.  He teamed up with the Red Dragon R’Drak to lay seige to Gansdorf and Selonica.  But the armies led by Sir Hogan and Asduel drove them out of the city of Selonica, and R’Drak himself was slain in the Battle of Gansdorf.  He fled to the Southern Kingdom that LeRoy the Great Wise Wizard had built around the city of Balindale.  His haunted fortress at Fort Doom was near Balindale.  The Black Wizard conspired with the vampire Count Marilinev to turn all of the Southern Kingdom’s people into vampire thralls, but he finally met his match when LeRoy recruited the Raven Wizard Shaumar to best him in magical combat two against one.  He fell from the sky that day in a roaring red fireball and exploded against the mountainside.  Asduel would later capture and imprison his right-hand witch, and LeRoy took over Fort Doom, converting it into a castle for good.  The evil wizard’s young son Kath would be raised by LeRoy as a brother to Balin, and later was converted into a player character, adventuring for the causes of goodness and light.  Kath’s batwing cloak was the only thing he inherited from his evil father.

So if you have become totally fed up with my Dungeons and Dragons memories, find some relief, please, in the fact that there is very little more to tell.  Even goofy old Mickey can’t say too much more.  We played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons in the early eighties, but it was doomed to ultimate limits by Baptists who thought the game was a tool of the devil for corrupting young minds.  Who knows?Maybe they were correct.  I did, however, always manage to have the good guys win in the end and evil be defeated.  It takes a pretty crafty old Satan to turn that into corruption. 

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Comic Book Fever

I have long wanted to tell my stories in comic book form, a thing that causes no little difficulty.  Problem one, my arthritis makes 64-page stories difficult, let alone the hundreds of pages needed for a graphic novel.

I do have a couple of things that I have worked on over the years, though.  Here are a couple of things;

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Sorcerer’s Duel is a tale of Dungeons and Dragons players, while Hidden Kingdom is a sword and sorcery tale set in the tiny world of fairies and mythical creatures (made small over the centuries by the disbelief of most humans).  Both are graphic novels that will probably never see publication.  I can expose them on this blog, however, and maybe generate interest in my fiction.

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Melodrama

Melodrama

This old colored pencil Paffooney once won a blue ribbon at the Art Contest at the Wright County Fair in Eagle Grove, Iowa… back in the 1970’s. Sergeant Peppercorn and his Native American sidekick, Wampum Boy, have tracked down the evil Handsome Harry Hardtack to save Blondie Goodnight from being tied to a railroad track. Don’t heroes always arrive in the nick of time to save the day?

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May 18, 2014 · 2:22 am

Escheresque Snakes and Ladders

Escheresque Snakes and Ladders

I can always dig up an old drawing or two. This one got me an A in Drawing 202 at Iowa State University. Does it fulfill the assignment? Probably not, but I snowed the instructor into thinking I was creative and knew how to draw optical illusions. I obviously don’t know how to photograph pencil drawings… and this is too big for the scanner. But this is Snakes and Ladders, with bugs and boobs and banana-men. Too goofy for words.

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May 17, 2014 · 1:37 am

Matai Shang

Matai Shang

He was an eight-foot-tall giant with huge muscles and an Ogre’s face. He was a powerful sorcerer and warrior. He stole and adopted the Dark Child of Quran, a little green Cymrillian girl with a huge capacity for future magical power. His giantess girlfriend was a polymorphed half-dragon. His kingdom was made up of conquered cities and rebuilt ruins. Of course, he only existed in a dungeons and dragons campaign set in Talislanta. He lived only in the minds of the dungeon master and the boys in the game. His human player went on to serve in the marines in intelligence.

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May 16, 2014 · 1:36 am

Pooh and Tigger

Pooh and Tigger

I am trying to post pointlessly every day to fill up my blog with… Pointlessly posted Paffoonies. What good does this do for life, the universe, and everything? Well, maybe nothing, nada, zilch, and zahooey. But it’s fun. And maybe I can make someone smile who wouldn’t have otherwise. Isn’t that a worthy woozie?

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May 14, 2014 · 2:17 am

Yawn!

Yawn!

Today was an incredibly hard work day. I haven’t slept now since 8:00 a.m. yesterday. Almost 36 hours of achy wakefulness. Thunderstorms are making my arthritis ache and keeping me from actually falling asleep. I stumble now in five directions at once… forward, backward, to the left, to the right, and straight down. Soon this old clown will tumble down and roll around on the ground and finally fall to sleeeee….zzzzzzzzzzzzz

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May 13, 2014 · 12:31 am

The Book of Old Art

I have notebooks full of old drawings of many sorts.  Some novel-related, most not.  Let’s start with my first novel… one not published yet.  I call it Superchicken after the central character.

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And here are supporting characters in various stages of drawing…

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The story-teller character is, of course, the younger version of me.  This story is more than thirty years old.

I have many other drawings of various weird things.  You may notice the signature says Leah Cim Reyeb.  That goofy old etruscan so-and-so is actually me, my name spelled backwards… err… sdrawkcab.

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So… there it is.  A sample of the contents of my old book of art.  I am not completely demented yet, but as you can see… I’m getting there.

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Cotulla Cowboys

Cotulla Cowboys

I began my teaching career in deep South Texas, in a place called Cotulla. One thing I learned right away about Cotulla was that it was the same school district where Lyndon Baines Johnson taught as a young man. It was the site, at the Welhausen migrant school where LBJ taught, that the Elementary and Secondary Education Act (ESEA) of 1965 was signed. I later learned that LBJ had referred to Cotulla in his autobiography as the “donkey-hole” of Texas. Of course, he used the biblical word for donkey. He must of loved that town in much the same way as I did. Cotulla made the nightly news often enough that my relatives in Iowa all discovered where it was. It made the news as part of the weather report… hottest place in the nation. I guess we averaged about 107 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer. Hot, hotter, and hottest… I made friends with the mayor of Cotulla, William L. Cotulla whose family had founded the place two generations before. I taught there long enough to become the middle school English department head. I had three whole people in my department. I regularly went to the Wild Hog Cook-off and LaSalle County Fair. It was the kind of place where you have to be a cowboy. And I was. It was the high school team name after all. So there you have it… love it and hate it both… the reason I am a cowboy.

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May 9, 2014 · 12:25 am

The Blue Dragons of Somber Ceremony

The Blue Dragons of Somber Ceremony

Today the faculty of Naaman Forest High School held a retirement reception for me and four other teachers. All of us around 30 years of work in education. The school is losing 150 years worth of experience. Math, English, and Special Education… I managed to go through the thing without crying, but stiff upper lips get melted by the blue dragons of sadness. I will cry yet before the year is out. I still haven’t faced the final goodbye with students. How do I do that? I will bite holes in my lower lip and still fail to stop the waterworks. What a hopeless ball of wimpishness I am! But I’ve fought dragons all my life… dragons of one sort or another. Remember the intestinal gas contest started by Little Slick Pooflinger? Oh, wait, you weren’t there, were you…. Well, believe me, fart dragons are real. So, it was sad… blue dragon sort of sad… and I fought dragons one more time.

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May 8, 2014 · 12:37 am