Tag Archives: cartoons

Paffooney Wisdom

Image

 

Life is like a cartoon car chase in one of Floyd Gottfredson’s  1930’s Mickey Mouse comic strips.  No, really, it is!  You never know what is going to happen in the next frame.  Will the alien space craft scoop up Junior as he flies out of the rumble seat?  Fifty-fifty chance, don’t you think?  Will Crocko Diddly-Dial catch up and eat everybody in the car?  Probably not if it was a G-rated comic strip… and it was. 

The only control we have over life are the reactions we can manage as we go and bad things continue to happen to us.    We are trapped by the cliff and the river, so we jump the car successfully across.  If we are successful, we bounce onto the road on the other side, and Crocko falls into the river.  Of course it is the road to nowhere and the chase only ends when the cartoon of life reaches the last panel.

Okay, so that all sounds very scary, and we must hope that Mickey is merely crazy, and not on to something real in this metaphorical thesis of mayhem.  Yet, there is a way to effectively deal with the car chase.  We need to treat it all as a cartoon, a comic book story, and simply laugh.

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Inventive Travel Technology

Image

My writer friend, Stuart West (http://stuartrwest.blogspot.com) suggested it might be possible to travel by feeding bubble gum to goldfish.  Here is what I thought it would look like.  Don’t hold your breathe waiting to sign up for tickets, however.  Stuart didn’t think it would work so good after all.  I guess I draw scary pictures sometimes when the idea-wagon starts rolling downhill.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Colored Pencil Gallery

I admit to being a colored-pencil maniac.  They are like oil colors.  You lay down the dark hues first and overlay the lighter colors on top.  I need to learn how to photograph them more effectively, but here are some of my best.

Image

The Girl with the Red Bird (1993)

Image

In the Land of Maxfield Parrish

Image

The Boy with the Bugle (1994)

Image

That Night in Saqquara I Was Taken By Surprise (1992)

Image

The Wings of Imagination

Image

8 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Newspaper Comics in the1960’s; Lil’ Abner and Me

I was once an avid reader of the Sunday Funnies.  I loved the madcap world of Dogpatch, Lil’ Abner, Mammy Yokum, and all.  I also loved Pogo and his creator, Walt Kelly, but I’m sure you probably realized that already.  I believe I basically grew up in Dogpatch.  Rowan, Iowa is a small rural farm town.  Romance is basically a matter of running away from the girls and eventually tiring out enough to get caught and married.  I was a good athlete as a kid, probably why I didn’t get married until I was thirty-eight.  More than one of the old church ladies was a Mammy Yokum.  They fought the good fight for what is right by using a fast fist, a good dose of tonic, and an imperious, “I have spoken!”  I married a woman like that.  I had a Great Grandma that even looked like Mammy Yokum.  There was more than one Hairless Joe hanging around town with a mind fixed on Kickapoo Joy Juice.  There were even a few Shmoos.  I was basically Joe Btfsplk with the little stormcloud forever above my head.  I was in love with the only girl in town who looked like Daisy Mae, and I was chased by at least two different Sadie Hawkinses.

Image

http://www.deniskitchen.com

I used to read Al Capp’s strip on the front porch.  It was my personal get away.  We had an old student desk taken from the ancient Rowan School House.  It was placed on the porch, in a corner by Mother’s German pump-organ, the one willed to her by her Great Aunt.  There I would giggle about Abner’s spoonin’ and swoonin’ adventures.  I remember when Frank Frazetta would draw Daisy Mae and the beautiful but smelly Moonshine McSwine.  Man, I loved those curves!  I didn’t realize then that the strip was portraying my own love life so subliminally.  (I know there’s a better word than that, but can you say parallelly?)  I didn’t like to think about romance other than to comment in front of girls that I hated girls and would not ever be trapped by a girl.  That was all a lie, though, a big front.  I secretly adored Alicia Stewart and she was my perfect Daisy Mae.  So perfect, in fact, that I was embarrassed to even be in her presence for a moment.  She would always wonder why I blushed so much.  I never told her ( in an Abner-like way) how I felt about her.

Image

http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com

My Great Grandma Hinckley was every bit as furiously upright and moral as Pansy Yokum.  She was the family matriarch, oldest living relative, and determiner of the family’s opinion on practically everything.   She even wore red and white striped stockings once in a while, a matter of shameless pride in the face of the pervasive Methodist Puritanism that surrounded rural people.  She had cures and remedies for everything that went in the face of my mother the registered nurse and all her book learnin’.  In fact, she was such a believer in Vick’s Vapo-Rub that she even ate the stuff.  She would come to our house to clean, purify, and straighten up not only the house and all its furniture, but our young and unruly souls as well.  She stood for no nonsense.  And, although no one ever tested her, she ruled with an iron fist.

Now, Hairless Joe was actually the opposite of hairless.  He didn’t have eyes behind that sheepdog haircut of his.  He goofed off up town, greeted everybody at the cafe, and, although most thought him worthless and foul, everyone greeted him in return.  There was a major difference, though, between him and the comic strip Joe.  No Lonesome Polecat, his little Indian friend.  There was no sidekick to throw horseshoes into the Kickapoo  Joy Juice to give it more kick.  He went through life alone.

There were a lot of Shmoos in town.  They were dangerous.  They made you believe that you didn’t need jobs or money.  Of course, they didn’t make you believe it through magical Shmoo power.  They were more like my Dad, industrious to a fault.  They did everything for you, paid for everything, and never taught you how to do things for yourself.  My Dad, who had been a professional truck driver at one time, tried to teach me to drive, but after the third near-fatal wrong turn, he would end up leaving that hair-raising experience to high school driving instructors.  He figured he had enough hair already and didn’t want to look like Hairless Joe.

Certainly that finally brings me back to the topic of me, Joe Btfsplk.  I am the unluckiest man in the whole of Dogpatch, if not the world.  Every intersection I drive up to yields an instant red light.  The little storm cloud above my head is constantly raining on me.   I’m given to long streaks of bad luck.  My best efforts often come to naught.  Still, like Joe, I keep my chin up.  One good that comes from always expecting the worst is that I am never surprised unless it is a pleasant surprise.  The bad things I am prepared for, the good ones I welcome.

Anyway, I used to imagine myself a resident of Dogpatch, USA.  I was a good, wholesome youth with a world of promise before him, just like Lil’ Abner.  I think I am still a resident, only now, I’m not Abner any more.  My oldest son, Dorin, more of a naive fan of the Fearless Fosdicks of the world, and I am now more like Pappy Yokum, listening meekly to Mammy’s commands until the time comes when I am needed to step up and be the mouse that roared.

Image

http://deniskitchen.com

5 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

D&D Gallery Two

I have spent a good many hours over the years painting metal miniatures and drawing illustrations for the old Dungeons and Dragons game.   I love it, and simply can’t stop.  So now I will inflict more colored pencil foofram on you…

Image

Whitebeard began as a rumor, a character’s father who had long been lost at  sea, a ship’s magical artificer who used wands and energy tools to make practical magic flow through the ship, a man with many secrets and a dark, buried past.

Image

Of course, I borrow heavily and steal like a pirate to create characters.  These two came from a cartoon show on Cartoon Network, a roguish waif and his blue goblin crony.

Image

And there have to be bad guys.  This sinister sightless mage came from a published adventure in Dungeon magazine.  I heavily modified him and gave him powers the original author never intended.

Image

These two are mirror people, having been trapped in a magic mirror for over a hundred years, a gold-digger barbarian wench and her actor/suitor who turned out to be a werewolf. The players in D&D can always be tricked into releasing the baddies just when you need them in the on-going story of sword and sorcery.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

D&D Gallery

Here are a few D&D character portraits created for my home campaign with my two sons and one daughter.

Image

Image

Image

5 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

The Making of Paffoonies

ImageAs creative projects go, I think the best ones I am currently undertaking are the Paffoonies. These, of course, are the colored-pencil and ink cartoon-o-matic creations that come out of my fevered little-boy mind as it has been stretched and contorted to fit into my old-man brain.  

There are rules to this stupid creation game.  First of all, a Paffooney must tell a story and have a piece of writing to go with it.  Naturally, though, the picture must come first.  The tortured elements of the Sci-fi or Fantasy that comes out of it result from the need to explain every oddity, punkitation, and warped perception that went into the picture.  I draw pictures from dreams.  I also draw from the monkey-shine metaphors that well up in my overly-wordy conscious mind.  I do not take drugs to accomplish this.  I do not drink alcohol.  I am on numerous medications for numerous medical conditions… but I like to think there is no pharmacological element to my creativity.  I am just your basic goofy old man with an exploding right brain.

You remember the writing that went with the first Paffooney in this post, don’t you?  If not, you can still see the post here on WordPress where I wrote a poem that convicts  the average school teacher of being a serious clown and puppet master.  Some Paffoonies are poetic in nature.  Others require a piece of fiction, like the one I wrote about Mai Ling’s encounter with the plant people of the planet Cornucopia.  Here is a another version of it…..Image

So, a Paffooney is a creative project, a game, an exercise if you will, that will hopefully make me a better story-teller, writer, and cartoonist.   I hope to post a lot of them on the web.  So-called social media marketing experts tell me this kind of thing will get you, dear reader and viewer, to buy my book Catch a Falling Star, a sort of extended Paffooney of its own.   The theory is, if you like the stuff I give away for free in these posts, you will want to actually pay money to see more of what I can do.  I really think that is a big black Hoo-Ha, though, as I have not seen any evidence that social media marketing experts know anything more about marketing than I do.  Are they really worth that expensive salt I put on their tails to trap them into to telling me their secrets and lies?

Ah, well…  here is one last Paffooney that does not yet have a story to go along with it.  At least, I am not aware of a story yet.  Hmm, I think something is coming to me even as I post this picture.

Image

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Puff the Dragon

I am a cartoon nut.  I read them.  I write them.  I draw them.  Cartoon people have always been more real to me than real people.  A friend of mine asked to see what I could do because he wants to create a children’s picture book.  I drew Puff in the picture displayed here.  I can’t help it.  I have to draw when I have the chance.  I have had arthritis since I was eighteen.   I walk with a cane now, wearing a back brace constantly.  I dread the day when I can no longer draw.  It is coming too soon.  but for now, I have a dragon to help me fight off the coming darkness.  I know what you’re thinking… “It should say Puff the Magic Dragon!”  but it doesn’t because he is not.  There is no magic in the creation.  I have spent years practicing and learning how.  I can now create cartoons almost at will.  I just can’t crank them out on a regular basis, not without my hands hurting.  So, I have Puff to hang around with for a while, on my computer, on my drawing pad…  He’s a really good guy.  He’s just not a magic dragon.ColdPuff

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Wild Ride of the Space Cowboys (Short short story)

Image

Gyro was no ordinary Nebulon.    Nebulons, known to many in the Imperium as “Space Smurfs” for reasons long forgotten, were the child-like blue people who inhabited deep space in their living starships.  Many thought the blue skin, yellow hair, and red apple cheeks showed evidence they were not just humanoids, but human space travelers mutated by the exotic radiations of the nebulae where Earthers and other humans had first discovered them.  Gyro had the red cheeks, the blue skin, and the bright yellow hair, but he also had qualities that were extremely rare in Nebulons.  For one thing he was a Psion, a being with the right brain mutation to perform powerful brain functions that seemed like magic to the ordinary space traveler.  His own special psionic ability was even rarer than the usual Psion.  He could not only use telepathy, but use the power of his “inner eye” to see and alter the molecular structure and overall organization in any finite piece of matter.  In other words, he could change lead into gold with the power of his mind alone.  To Gyro it was just a matter of pushing the funny little atomic balls into new configurations in the creative imaginings of his “inner eye”.

Being a Psion inside the borders of the Galactic Imperium, the so-called “Thousand Worlds”, was a dangerous enterprise.  The Imperials were so afraid of psionic powers and what they believed they could do, that having psionic power brought an immediate death sentence.  That was the reason that when Gyro and his family, and the boy named Billy Iowa, also a Psion, had to leave the Pan Galactican Union, they had journeyed to the distant world of Gaijin to find the master of Psionics, the White Spider, Ged Aero.  Sensei Ged Aero had taken in both boys, given them a home, and taught them how to master the powers of the “inner eye”.

So that was the reason that Gyro now sat on the planet Cornucopia beside a huge dead bug and pondered the possibilities of escape for himself and Billy.  Master Aero and his Little Mutant Space Ninjas had come as explorers to the planet, and run afoul of the living plants, the Throckpods who inhabited it.  As Gyro and Billy had been heading back to base camp, they were attacked by a large group of the ugly sentient flowers and their pet gargantuan dragonfly.  Billy, being a good student of Ged’s Martial Arts training, delivered a jump-kick to the chitinous face plate of the dragonfly that put a hole in it, driving his foot right into the thing’s syrupy brain tissue.  It dropped dead next to them as Throckpods moved menacingly around them in a huge circle of weed.

“We are totally cut off,” said Billy.  “And I think they mean to kill us.”

“They’re flowers!  Flowers can’t eat people… can they?” asked Gyro nervously.

“They are intelligent flowers.  How can you know what they eat and don’t eat?” asked Billy in return.  His Dakota Sioux features scrunched up into a frown.  “I am at the height of my power.  Let them come!  In a sacred manner I resist them until my very last breath!  It is a good day to die!”

Gyro eyes got wider.  It was a very Indian sort of thing for Billy to say, but Gyro didn’t really want to hear it.

“You give me a few minutes to think,” said Gyro, “and I will find a way out of this mess.”

Billy resolutely turned to frown at the approaching grove of ugly flowers.

Gyro looked all around, and finally settled on the dragonfly.  In some ways, the huge insect already resembled an anti-grav cycle.  It wouldn’t take very much manipulation to…  Gyro’s imagination started turning chitin into glass-steel.  The dragonfly’s bowels were easy to shape into a small fusion powered engine.  The blood only had to be separated to get the hydrogen necessary for fuel.  With a few pops and crackles and one big POOM, they had a working grav cycle.

As Throckpods started throwing thorns, and Billy swatted them out of the air with Wushu defensive strikes, Gyro revved the engine and pulled Billy onto the upholstered seat behind him.

“Time to bug out!” said Gyro with a huge blue grin.  The grav cycle immediately and silently lifted into the air on anti-grav repulsor lifts.  Then, with a roar, they zoomed skyward, not only out of the reach of Throckpods and thorns, but also out of reach from the devilish dragonflies that were swarming towards them from somewhere in the eastern sky.

“I guess it’s a good thing you can change stuff like that,” said Billy, holding tightly onto his Texas sombrero, “but if you had never made that stink-language translator, maybe we would’ve never got into this mess.”

“I don’t think the translator is the big problem,” said Gyro.  “These flowers seem to have an agenda that doesn’t include looking pretty and smelling nice.  I think they don’t like us as plant-eaters and potential invaders.  After all, this is their world.”

“Okay,” said Billy.  “Get us back to camp and Master Aero, and I’m all for leaving this dirtball to the plants!”

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized