Category Archives: rants

I spend most of my political ranting power on the Republicans in that elephant-driven eternal clown car they keep driving through the highways and byways of American politics.  That is because humor is basically a weapon for fighting the many metaphorical battles of modern life.  You’ve heard how it can be more cutting and sharp than any sword. And not having one of the Republican clowns as President is a very serious matter.  But one of the primary truths of Mickian life is this; the best humor is based in on love, not hatred.  It should be nourishing, not hateful.  That’s why electing politicians who can do the Frankenberry face is so important to me.  Better by far than those angry simian faces we saw in the Republican debates, calling each other names, insisting their parents were immigrant-ish enough to be unworthy, or insisting their politics aren’t hopelessly heartless enough to be elected as a conservative.

So let me start by making fun with some of my favorite good guys.  If you want to put a clown in office to make the laws that will change your life, why not get a real clown?  Al Franken, Senator from Minnesota, is a professional clown.  He was one of the original writers on Saturday Night live, providing comedy material and acting in sketches from 1975 to 1980, then returning as a performer from 1985 to 1995.  He wrote six books, four of which are satires of conservative politics.  He became a political activist, and in 2008, he finally put his wit and wisdom to good political use by narrowly winning a Senate seat in Minnesota representing the Minnesota Democratic Farmer Labor Party, an affiliate of the Democratic party.  As a comedian he created the character Stuart Smalley, the slightly askew advice-giving self help guru.  As a senator he has continued to use his warm wit and wisdom to promote programs that actually help people and actually protect them a little bit from the toothy financial predators promoted by the money-hungry conservatives on the other side of the aisle.  It is as if Mark Twain or Will Rogers had lowered themselves to use their focused comedic insights to be a politician and make life less dreary  for the American people.

Corey Booker, the junior senator from New Jersey, has a grin that reminds me of Magic Johnson, the basketball hero.   And like Johnson, he is capable of using his manic energy to get things done to help other people.

Feb 16, 2014; New Orleans, LA, USA; NBA legend Magic Johnson laughs during the 2014 NBA All-Star Game Legends Brunch at Ernest N. Morial Convention Center. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

Here’s an incident quoted from Wikipedia that shows how Cory Booker goes about wanting the ball to take the game-winning shot;

In December 2012, after discussions with a constituent about New Jersey’s Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), Booker began a week-long challenge attempting to live on a food budget of $30 per week—the amount SNAP recipients receive.  When critics noted that the very name of the SNAP program shows that it is intended to “supplement” an individual’s food budget, not be its sole source, Booker replied that his aim was to spark a discussion about the reality that many Americans rely solely on food stamps to survive.

You can’t go wrong with that Magic Johnson confidence, and that ten-thousand-watt smile.  No matter his human failings, Booker feels like the kind of politician who genuinely cares about people.

Elizabeth Warren, Senator from Massachusetts, reminds me of my grade school teacher Mrs. Mennenga.  She has that same no-nonsense approach that brooks no foolishness in the classroom.  And I have seen Mrs. Warren lecture the senate chamber on their less-than-perfect behavior.  But she makes it clear that although she doesn’t love our stupidly selfish behavior at times, she loves us as her school children, and wants to prevent the sharks and the wolves of Wall Street from eating us whole.

I think by now you probably see where I am going with this.  Democrats are far from perfect.  It is probably better for me to think of myself politically as an Independent.  But they are generally the progressive party.  They want to change things for the better for the majority of the people.  Conservative Republicans want to regressively change things back to the days of the robber barons when men like John D. Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie, and J.P. Morgan could buy a president like William McKinley to make sure that most of the money in the world stayed in the pockets of the rich while the rest of us worked in sweat-shop slavery and poverty.  We are almost back to that, with no more middle class, and almost all aspects of the economy around us benefiting primarily the Walmart heirs.

So, if I am able to defy my church and my religious affiliation and actually vote in the next election, I will vote for Bernie Sanders.  Socialist though he is, he is promoting ideas that will help all of us.  And, besides, he has the hair thing going for him.  It’s Mickey hair all over again.  No matter how you comb it and brush it and shellac it with goo… well, you know… What?  Me, worry?