“Mickey, you nerd! Your jokes are not funny!
You’re not clever, you’re stupid, and not even punny!”
–wisdom from a Twitter troll who admires Dr. Seuss
I will admit, I was not joking when I said the world ended when Trump won the election. I believe climate change is beyond our control when stupid, vicious, greedy people control 100% of our government. They are busy already, before Obama even left office, with sealing our doom. They recently passed the REINS Act, which is intended to not only curb but roll back government regulations. The Republicans will no longer simply allow regulatory agencies like the EPA to control which toxic chemicals go into our food and drinking water when it might cost the taxpayers (especially RICH taxpayers) money. They passed a rule that if corporations want to inject batrachotoxin into hamburger meat to increase profits short term, the FDA can’t regulate and prevent that without first having a congressional committee in each of the houses of congress voting their approval of the ban. This with the aid of Tea Party sandbagging and temper tantrums to grease the gears toward refusal to turn. Batrachotoxin as every congressman surely understands is the chemical in poison dart frogs that will will kill you if you kiss them. We certainly need more of that in hamburgers to make the meat look tastier. So, they will quickly and efficiently ignore the issue and fail to allow the regulation. We are doomed, dear ones.
Turtle-boy, pictured here, shows off his favorite flat iron of visual-sarcastic irony which he uses to throw at the heads of dumbnutz who don’t get what irony is.
Irony is when everything you held in your heart as an expectation and looked forward to as something you could depend on for the rest of your life comes abruptly to an end and the opposite is what actually occurs.
Republicans now hold all power in the US government. Again! Eight years of Lonesome George the Rodeo Clown, a Wall-Street meltdown and resulting Great Recession, two nearly-endless wars fought over false intelligence about WMDs, and eight years of obstructing everything the other side tried to do to fix their mess was not enough to satisfy Lucretia Borgia’s party of poison and greed.
Senator Turtle-man McConnell doesn’t get irony. He doesn’t understand now why Democrats don’t get on board with all the legislation and confirmation hearings that the GOP wants to push through right away. Why would they want to obstruct legislation that helps people by reducing their social security benefits and ending not only the Affordable Care Act, but doing away with medicare as well? It’s what the people voted for, isn’t it?
I have instructed Turtle-boy to throw the flat iron of visual-sarcastic irony at Turtle-man’s head. But he must do it quickly and accurately, or the slow-talking Kentucky Senator will pull that big turtle head back inside his shell, as he has done so many times before. And even if the flat iron hits squarely, it will not change anything. We have lost and the future is lost to us and all our offspring.
I do still have some hope of survival of the human race and life on Earth. Ironically that is because I am just as soft-brained and hopelessly stupid as the rest of my kind. And I believe in savoring the time we have left. I intend to cast off political worries into a sea of forgetfulness. We shall have to see what sharks that attracts. But hopefully, the sharks that actually eat us will die of food poisoning.
Healing From A Fatal Wound
The Trumpkins and Trolls won the battle and are now busy eating their prisoners… along with the puppies and kittens for desert. And as far as I can see, the war is over. We had a chance with the Paris Climate Accords to repair the damage to the life of this planet, even though it was a very eleventh-hour plan to avert the end of life on Earth. The Trolls and Trumpkins are peeing on that fence too, shorting it out and preventing it from saving us from being eaten by the heat-wolves of corporate polluters.
I myself wasn’t expecting to live through another decade in any case, but now, I fear the lives of my children and grandchildren will be cut short as well. You can’t poop where you eat on a regular basis and expect not to get sick and die. I predicted that the Cubs would win the World Series because they stole key talent from the Cardinals and had a young, rising club to add them to. I got that one right. I predicted that Trump would win the presidency because I know a lot of the Trump-voter kind of former middle-class white people who are seriously in financial and existential pain, and I knew who they were going to blame it on. If I am right about this last thing too, then we are all doomed.
“Jeez, Mickey! You don’t call that humor, do you?”
Well, I guess I do, because humor comes from being able to laugh at the darkness and make fun of the dumpy-lumpy lumbering bears of bad fortune that are about to eat you. We are going to have a laugh or two before the end at the expense of Trumpkins and Trolls because they make world-shaking decisions based on faith in false facts. The irony and stupidity of it all is a very laughable absurdity that will build BS mountains taller than Everest. And those mountains will collapse upon them, burying them in poop. Never mind that we will also be buried. They brought it on themselves by the choices they made. Seeing them get their comeuppance has to be worth a laugh or two.
I have pretty much let Will Rogers speak to this current election result through the memes I have chosen to accompany this gloomy-doomy essay. I think it is significant that wisdom from a hundred years ago still applies so completely to the politics of today. With democracy and elections we get what we deserve… not what we want. We need to change to face the future, if we even get to have one. But the past clearly shows that we haven’t learned our lessons very well. I guess there’s nothing left to do but laugh about it… and try to love each other a little better before the bitter end.
Thanks for sharing, Cousin Will.
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Filed under angry rant, commentary, feeling sorry for myself, humor, irony, Liberal ideas, politics, self pity
Tagged as Donald Trump, doom and gloom, election reaction, goofiness, politics, Will Rogers