I have wanted to be a writer since about fourth grade. I have, in fact, been writing stories and making up lies since that time. So, truthfully… (and as a liar, I use that word with extreme irony) I have actually been a writer since fourth grade. A writer writes. And the longer I fantasize about making money as a writer, the longer I submit myself to the never-ending oxymoronic hell of the writer’s life. I live for the poetry. But you can’t eat poetry. Poetry does not help you live.
As a writer and cartoonist (a word that means a doodling daydreamer of doofy dreams) I go by the name Mickey. But, of course, I am NOT Mickey Mouse. My name is Michael. And the nickname was inspired by Mickey “Himself” McGuire, the rapscallion hero-child that starred in Fontaine Fox’s Toonerville Trolley and inspired Joseph Yule Jr. to rename himself Mickey Rooney for the movies. Yes, I think that means that my name is not actually Mickey, and neither is anyone else’s.
So, you are probably wondering what this essay is actually about. Or maybe, more accurately, “Why the Hell is Mickey writing this meaningless @#$%&**! today?” Well, I am facing reality today. I am a published author. But as an Indie author, that means I have to work really, really hard at marketing just to break even, and I am not actually ever going to make back the money I have put into being a published author. Joseph was able to take his tap-dance on to Hollywood and become one of the biggest names in entertainment. I will take my talent for meaningless nonsense and making up lies and end up going gentle into that good night.
I am on a quest to get another novel published, but not have to pay for the printing myself. I have been a finalist in two writing competitions, and failed to win both, but have at least the validation that my stories are as good as some of my writing peers who are successful and get their stuff published. I am going through the doldrums of constant rejection. And health-wise, I am running out of time as well as out of money. But do I despair? Of course not. Mickey is too stupid to do that.