“The party now rushes through the front gate of Castle Evernight. Gandy swings down from the room where he operated the pulleys that opened the drawbridge and barbican doors to rejoin his fellow fighters.”
Princess Mira the Kalashtar- “Do we see any more golems or other fighters to stop us?”
“You do not. Since you took away Dr. Zorgo’s wand of golem control and Zorgo himself died in the plunge from the tower, there no longer seems to be anyone to keep you out of the castle.”
Gandy the hafling rogue- “Then the castle is now ours!”
“Perhaps the Duke’s daughter would dispute that.”
“Sien, I’m sorry. But the Duke and all his servants are now dead. We liberated the castle and have a right to claim it.”
“Sien Evernight looks at you sadly. She says, “I do not dispute your right to the castle. But my father, remember, had been changed into a gold golem. And even though he grabbed Dr. Zorgo and pulled him over the tower’s rail, he may have survived the fall. Of course, that doesn’t make him actually alive. But with no one controlling him, we may be able to talk to him once again. You can have the castle for all I care, but I want to know what my father thinks.” …and I think you need to be reminded by the DM that your leader committed to replacing the Duke and ruling the city. “
Yes, I have been playing Dungeons and Dragons with my own kids, and the pencil and paper characters we use for the silly story-telling game have become, over time, real people to us. But the game has slowed way down since number one son left to be a Marine and number two son got a weekend part-time job.
So, the conquest of Castle Evernight might end up being the last adventure actually conducted around the D & D table in the upstairs library.
So I created a Facebook page for the family game and intend to post stuff on there that may keep the game at least a little bit alive outside my own stupid head.
I intend to post stuff there to update everyone on what is happening in Eberron to the members of the ongoing quest.
Just as a reminder, I will show you the player characters again;
Number one son’s character is retiring to be the new Duke of Evernight, married to Duchess Sien Evernight.
Number two son’s character is the irrepressible halfling, Gandy Rumspot.
My daughter, the Princess’s character is Mira the Kalashtar.
My intention is to use Saturdays, the traditional game night, to post more D&D stuff to this page and the Facebook page. I need more creative ideas to keep filling this blog daily, and I have done considerable work setting up the game as Dungeon Master. I don’t want it all to go to waste. You will be welcome to come anytime and take a look. But I am just too immature and set in my ways to totally give up D&D.
May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose!
I was planning to write a piece about insult humor for a while, and then Don Rickles had to up and die… that danged old hockey puck!’
So the master of insults is gone, and it will be even harder to explain why calling someone a proud and prissy poo-poo head is not a bad thing to do. Because, really… strong language is not really strength and it takes intelligence to be a mean little picky-wit. (No pun intended… because no pun was used, Duh! How slow are you compared to molasses around Christmas time?)
You may have heard me say that I don’t like hurtful humor. I don’t believe bad words are required to make something funny. I don’t think humor should be weaponized. Jokes that make you die laughing are too much like murder, and people who have no sense of humor can’t be hurt by them anyway.
It is true that some people can’t be touched with insult humor. Republicans and conservatives generally never get the joke. Unfortunately for them you have to be at least a little bit smart to even know when you are being made fun of.
I have heard that Kim Jong Un and President Orangutan in a Bad Wig recently attempted to assassinate each other. Trump had a specially trained batch of a dozen Easter chicks sent to Kim Jong Un. They were trained as mini-ninja assassins specializing in the death-peck attack. Kim had a dozen plump Korean beauties dressed up in bikinis and poisoned lipstick sent to Trump with orders to make him fall in love. Shortly thereafter Kim sent a thank you note to Trump for the delicious chickens. He had kept one as a pet and you can still see it sitting on top of his head if you look carefully enough. (It hasn’t killed him because it mistaked his head for an egg, adopted it, and is trying desperately to hatch it.) Trump, in turn, re-gifted the bikini babes to Mike Pence, and it is likely they will die of cold and exposure while waiting in his outer office.
Stupid people are immune to insults, karma, and consequences.
So you don’t insult people as a form of humor to hurt anyone physically… or even psychologically. You only do it metaphorically to pay them the compliment of thinking them worthy enough to bestow the gems of your wit upon.
And if you believe any of that bull-puckie, I may know of a Bridge in Brooklyn I’d be willing to part with cheaply.
So, there you have it. Cheap laughs at the expense of doody-heads. And calling into question the self-importance and the ridiculous-but-strongly-held political beliefs of others… especially the dumb ones can be a public service… of sorts.
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Tagged as Don Rickles, humor, insult humor