Monthly Archives: February 2021

February 17, 2021 · 7:25 pm

I Hope This Finds You Well

Dear Readers,

I hope you are keeping warm.

This has not been a warm and happy week for most of us.

Texas has experienced electrical outages that have killed some folks and sent others to the emergency room with hypothermia.

Water pipes have frozen and burst around the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex, causing damage to homes and water shortages, especially around the Lewisville area (a Northern suburb of Dallas.)

Governor Greg “Evil Overlord” Abbott says it is all the fault of us liberals. He thinks the Green New Deal, wind farms, and solar energy are the root cause of the problem. It can’t be the corrupt practices of energy companies (heavily into fracking for more oil and promoting profits to investors over updating the hardware of the energy grid) that are to blame in any way.

We, at our house, are doing okay, though. A little frostbitten, but fortified with hot chocolate, coffee, and plenty of thick, warm jackets and blankets and things caused by an Iowegian upbringing. We have an advantage of more experience of the cold than shorts-in-winter-wearing average Texans.

We kept the water trickling day and night for two days to keep unprotected pipes from bursting. We placed glue-traps in places we knew rats were using to sneak into the kitchen at night, and we caught two so far that the dog has been unable to get while they are trying to live entirely indoors due to weather. And we were wise enough to wait for the internet outages to be over to create our WordPress posts.

So, we are doing fine in Texas, despite all the challenges.

I hope you are well. I hope you stay well.

Sincerely from the part of North Texas turning itself into Minnesota,

That Rabbit-Man, Mickey

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February 16, 2021 · 11:18 pm

AeroQuest 4… Canto 128

Canto 128 – Vegetable Worries

Ged, worried about the kids, carried Sara to her bunk aboard the Super Rooster. She was conscious, but still in shock from being stripped naked and nearly beheaded by a big green thistle-guy.

“She’s the healer,” said Junior. “What do we do if she can’t heal herself?”

“Give her time. She’ll be back to herself before you know it,” said Naylund-sensei who was, after all, her father.

“We have got to do something to help this planet,” said Ged. “This is a seriously bad dictatorship.”

“Now, how do you know that, no longer than you have spent exploring this new world?” Naylund asked calmly.

“ThroCKpods are iNvaders!” interjected Luigi the Onion-guy through one of Gyro’s stink-translators.

“See, what I mean? Fascist weeds have taken over the plant world, and they are ruling through violence and fear.”

“Ged, that’s how you see it from a human point of view.”

“Naylund, I saw rule by bullies at its worst back on Questor when I was a boy.”

“Again, you are looking at it from the side of human beings.”

Ged looked at Carrot Mabutu and Luigi the Onion-guy.

“Gentlemen… er gentlevegetables… can you tell us how your government normally works?”

“Ooh… We liVe by gARdens plaNt peOple soaKing up suNshine. We giVe all to tHe grAinmaSter, ruLer of all.”

Carrot Mabutu spoke up too. “NeVer he uSed ThrOCkpods beFore.”

“This Grainmaster is obviously using shock troops to enforce his will upon the people of this planet. These people should be freed of their tyrant. Once free, they could become a member of the New Star League.”

Naylund simply shook his head. Ged was determined to intervene on behalf of the upset little Onion-guy and his walking carrot first mate.

“Look! Sara is better!” said Junior.

In fact, she was sitting up and smiling at her father and the White Spider.

“Are you healed, daughter?”

“Yes, Daddy. I am happy to not have sacrificed my living sap to the Throckpods. But if we’re determined to intervene on this planet, we need a couple of things first.”

“Oh? What’s that?” Ged asked.

“Well, we definitely need reinforcements now that we know what we are dealing with. We are at least going to need more White Spider students, if not an army. And I am sitting here still in my birthday suit. I would appreciate somebody fetching a kimono from my closet over there in the corner.” Junior swiftly retrieved the requested garment. Naylund smiled. And Ged blushed.

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February 15, 2021 · 9:29 pm

Wrangling Winter Woes

I know there is no surprising news here if you are in one of the 44 States hit by this weather, but we are snow-covered and frozen still, even in the sunny aftermath of the storm.

My number two son, the jailor for the Dallas County Sheriff’s Office, works the night shift. Saturday night’s storm caused him to cover a Sunday morning shift for someone who couldn’t make it in. He worked for 16 straight hours. Then drove home in dangerous conditions, a 36-minute drive, got 3 hours of sleep, then had to go back to work for another night shift. He was so tired that my wife drove him to work through severe storm-warning weather, and then spent the night in the parking garage waiting for him. Of course, the Sheriff’s Office asked him to work a second straight double shift because of employees who couldn’t make it in.

The thing is… there are no medals for either of them.

And the city was hit with rolling power-outages all day. The Texas power grid is a mess. Someone ran over the connector-box in our area removing internet connections in the neighborhood until noon. Bummer for me and the Princess who has a college paper to write. But nowhere near the trouble number one wife and number two son had to deal with.

There is lots to complain about in this weather event. My mother in Iowa endured super-cold temperatures like 20-below-zero, but fortunately she got her second vaccination before the weather set in.

Even the birds are disgusted. They fly South for the Winter. But for a lot of them, Texas IS South. The snowbirds are grumbling today.

It did give me a few lessons, though, on how to take pictures of snow in sunshine while the glare is threatening to overexpose the image. You gotta add them danged shadows in the picture..

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February 14, 2021 · 7:21 pm

Now is the Winter of Our Discontent…

I am not Richard the Third. But I did do that soliloquy in college for my class in oral interpretation and got an “A” for it. I can channel those who think they have been wronged. I know whereof they speak… forsooth.

If you are not happy with the former President’s handling of the pandemic and economic crisis, (and if you are happy, I hope your recent lobotomy is giving you some peace and rest) you are not alone. The former Sun of York has not been the right answer. Hopefully the new ruler will do better, but only time will tell.

I am not, however, a dissembler like Richard. I have no evil plot to remedy the discontent. I can only tell the truth. I will probably die of the virus before this pandemic passes. I honestly do not fear death. I do fear for loved ones who are also at risk. But while I do not welcome death, it will not find me with any sort of burden of regret. I have been an honorable man. I have taught children, and acquitted myself well of the task. I have been a passable husband and father. I have committed serious acts of art… as well as numerous less-than-serious ones. This is not a suicide note. This is simply me declaring myself at peace with the universe.

Proof that Winter has returned to North Texas (and that I finished rebuilding my retaining wall)

And this is also me declaring that I once again am unwell. I’m pretty sure it is not the virus. I have been extremely careful. But this one stalks more successfully than the H1N1 and various bird flus that I have previously survived. It has mutated in an effort to be more virulent. And I always seem to get whatever serious virus is passing around.

Still, it is not the Coronavirus that currently has me sick and in bed. No fever. Only back pain, sinus headaches, and the blues. I also have a variety of other pains, mostly psoriasis in nature, but also some other internal ones. I could be suffering from prostate cancer, heart disease, or mini-strokes brought on by diabetes. My eyes are going bad. And I am not going to any doctors because of the risk of infection in the doctor’s office and the expenses that health insurance expects me to pay for myself. (I hope this pandemic eats all of Aetna’s lunches for the rest of the year. I have finally gotten away from them to Blue Cross and Blue Shield, but still…) There are plenty of ways that this current health crisis can do me in. I will endeavor to die at home on my own terms. And I stayed alive long enough to vote the bast***s out of office.

Proof that I’m not going anywhere by bicycle today.

I apologize that Mickey wasn’t funny today. Sometimes he needs to complain a little. Even Richard the Third was down and blue in between villainies. And he ended on one really bad day at Bosworth Field. I kinda hope that Trumpalump still has his Bosworth Field ahead of him even though he cannot be impeached no matter what he does.

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Filed under angry rant, autobiography, Depression, health, humor, photo paffoonies

February 13, 2021 · 8:59 pm

Where Portraits Come From

I painted this picture in the 1980’s because this boy was a very attractive little Asian-American child and I wanted to paint a picture of him.

But it became something else when I added the soldier’s helmet with the bullet hole in it.

It was the closest thing I ever did to something politically controversial. I was accused of making an anti-war picture… in Texas where you don’t disrespect a soldier. And the Viet Nam Conflict was still very much on people’s minds in the 80’s.

This is a Dickensian illustration. Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim. The boy was actually the son of a school secretary and grandson of a math teacher. Bob was modeled after a stand-up comic that I had a magazine picture of.

This reptilian fellow appeared in my dreams when I was twelve. He didn’t actually pose for me. I used a National Geographic picture to help me get the head right.

Grade-school me was the model for this one. I made it from an old school picture.

This is actually a portrait of Manuel. He was a seventh grader in 1984. Seventh Grade Language Arts, A-minus student and excellent oral reader.

This sweet child was actually a green-eyed brunette and holding a tub of autumn leaves in the original photograph.

There’s a lot of portraits in this picture. They are all from photographs, except for three imaginary faces. Charlie Chaplin and Jackie Coogan were both in a black-and-white photo from The Kid. And the skeleton was made of plastic.

This is Black Timothy, dressed all in red. This is pretty close to what he actually looks like. Of course, he’s imaginary.

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Tagged as Saturday Art Day

February 12, 2021 · 9:04 pm

Despicable People

Jamie Raskin’s opening argument made me cry. He told about losing his son to suicidal depression. And then it went from the day after the burial being confronted with the insurrection, which his daughter experienced with him, to her becoming so traumatized she vowed never to come back to the capitol, the site of his life’s work.

And the worst thing about it is… Tresident Prump will probably be acquitted by the spineless and corrupt Senate Republicans.

Of course, Prump is only one member of the Infamous League of Despicable Gentlemen. He didn’t form it. He can’t technically be called their leader. He’s more of a Mr. Hyde-type, the rogue raging monster who destroys even his own side of the battle.

The spiders who wove the web the Despicables live in are the evil arachnids David and Charles Koch. These two Blofeld-like Bond Villains have their roots in the Anti-communist John Birch Society where fear-mongering and racism take a back seat to greed in the car-ride to world domination.

The evil Kochs, one of whom is still alive, are billionaires worth more than $35 billion apiece. They fund the Tea Party with dark money and control parts of both political parties.

The Tea-Party werewolf depicted above is known to us Texans as @&##%!!! Ted Cruz, the secret identity (or possibly newly-possessed body) of the Zodiac Killer.

Mr. Goddawful Ted Cruz is one of those politicians you can’t get rid of even by driving a silver stake through his heart (mostly because the hero with the stake can’t find what Cruz does not have.) He looked the other way when Prump separated refugees from their children, throwing kids in cages and letting some of them die. Of course, he did assign blame for the policy, pointing a crooked claw at Barak Obama, emphasizing the former President’s middle name as he screeched accusations. Lately he has joined in the effort to hand the presidency back to Prump by overturning the election, objecting to the already certified electors in battleground states where Biden has already won. And with help from a Nazi-saluting friend, helped inspire the insurrection.

And this is Josh “Ted’s friend and Hitler admirer” Hawley, Senator from Missouri. He was the first to sign up for insurrection by announcing he would object to the Electoral College voting results, beating even the werewolf to the idea.

There you have it. My idea of what Despicable People truly means. Ordinarily I do not like insult humor. But when you are secretly ruled by a SPECTRE-like organization called The League of Despicable Gentlemen, you have to find happiness somehow. And Prump won’t know what “Despicable” means anyway.

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February 11, 2021 · 8:00 pm

The Be-Bop Beat of Mickey’s Brain

Truthfully, when I look back at the string of posts in the picket fence of this daily blog, I fail to see the overall map of it in any semblance of pattern or order. Honestly, I did not set out to be purposefully wacky.

I did, however, set out to be purposefully surreal. I mean it, I consciously put bizarrely dissimilar things together in an attempt to find parallels and connections in unlike things because, not only is it funny and surprising, but is a comic act that serves to keep the mind nimble and never numb. I do think quite a lot. And I try to see connections between things where others wouldn’t. For instance, the Coppertone girl with her bare butt and Bullwinkle with his unicycle are both being threatened in a way that is both comic, and taking advantage of their inherent image of innocence. Neither will lose anything by it. The girl stands to brown her pale white behind in the sun, while Bullwinkle will probably land on his head and it will make a decent cushion to preserve him because of it’s empty and rubbery qualities.

gilligan — Pie makes everything better. MMMM! Pie!

I must also admit to a bit of the old telling of stretchers, the misrepresentation of the truth, the loquacious layer-onner of lies. Not Trumpian lies that land on you like elephants dropped like bombs out of B-52’s. Instead, fictions that entertain and elucidate. It is the most likely reason I keep saying connecting words and phrases like “truthfully” and “honestly” and “I mean it”. Those are words that liars love.

Yes fiction writers like me tell little white lies.

I have now published my novel Recipes for Gingerbread Children. It is a novel based on real people I have known and loved and listened to. It is about an old German woman, a survivor of WWII concentration camps, who loves to tell stories to children and bake gingerbread cookies, especially gingerbread men. It features a pair of teenage nudist girls who believe in going completely naked whenever you are indoors, even if you are in someone else’s house. It features Nazis, both in flashback and ghostly forms. It also features fairies from the Hidden Kingdom of Tellosia, a fairy kingdom filled with little three-inch tall magical people living under our very noses. And it has a werewolf in it, though admittedly a very young one. It is a comedy with its requisite sad parts, and it is definitely an example of surrealism. It is also full of lies… err, I mean fiction.

But the real purpose of this supposedly be-bop brain fart in blog-post form is not so much to explain my blog (because how do you explain a blog that goes from Flashbacks and Foobah to telling about Madman Trump to Another novel part… #37 to Centaurs to a book and movie review, to this eccentric and eclectic thing, which probably exists more to make alliteration jokes than anything else in the most musical beat I can bang out?) but to prove that I do often think about thinking and how things fit together and what it all means… and how to write a run-on sentence that adds to the effect rather than simply annoys. And, yeah, I’m doing that. And it feels like a good thing to do.

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Tagged as goofiness, humor, justification for blogging, Metacognition

February 10, 2021 · 9:28 pm

Losing the Words

This is a picture of me holding the last novel I have written and published. Ironically, it may turn out to be the last novel I will be able to write.

I spent all of this morning and most of the afternoon suffering from high blood sugar and high blood pressure. I am unable to get myself to the doctor and unable to afford a ride in an ambulance. (They cost $1,000+ even if we are only ten blocks from the hospital if you haven’t priced them recently, even with good health insurance.) I am not going to die. But the few words I put here will be the only words I achieve today. These health problems I am suffering from are far too expensive in this country. I still have over a year to go paying off the bankruptcy I incurred for the last pair of health troubles and hospitalizations. And these conditions are, of course, incurable.

I have more things to write about. I just don’t have the time available to call up the words.

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February 10, 2021 · 5:30 pm

Goofy Squared

Here’s an old post worth reblogging.

Catch a Falling Star

There are a number of really, really goofy facts about me that I will reveal in today’s post… No one is trying to blackmail me over these things, believe it or not. I have no money. And I have no reputation to protect. I am nobody. Just a silly, goofy, loony old nobody. But I have a few chuckles now and then at my own expense.

Revelation #1; The clown nose in the picture was a souvenir from Cirque du Soleil. We went to see them in a parking lot in Frisco, Texas. They had an actual circus tent. When I was five, I told my parents I wanted to be a clown when I grew up. Nobody believes me when I say it, but I achieved that goal. They say, “But you were a school teacher!”

And I say, “How is that different?”

Honestly, I have worn a clown…

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February 9, 2021 · 3:02 pm

AeroQuest 4… Canto 127

Canto 127 – The Black Spider Theatre

Rocket had swiftly grown to trust Phoenix in ways that were hard to explain. The two pyrokinetics had spent so much time transferring pyro-tricks back and forth with the aid of telepathy by Junior, Sara, or Hassan that he felt like he knew what the inside of Phoenix’s mind fully felt like.

He was surprised when they both ducked through a small, obscure doorway and found themselves in the dark wing of a mostly-dark stage.

Fangwoman was standing at the very front of the stage, wearing the Avenger helmet, holding both arms up and speaking loudly to about four hundred Black Spider ninjas in full ninja cloth armor. Not only were there the ninjas in the audience gallery, but they were surrounded by a couple of thousand lit candles.

“Come, my minions! Now is the time to strike! The Palace of a Thousand Years is in chaos!” She shouted into the candle-lit auditorium. Strike in the name of Shen Ming!”

“Why would we fight in the name of Shen Ming?” asked one confused minion.

“Because Shen Ming has earned our anger! He betrayed us and locked us away!”

“No, he hasn’t,” said a female ninja in peach-colored armor. “If anyone has betrayed us, it would have to be Jinjiro, or Bres, or even Phoenix.”

“He betrayed us by locking us in a hole for a hundred years!”

“No, he didn’t. You must be talking as the weird helmet. The helmet was locked up in the Palace.”

“Oh, why am I arguing!” Fangwoman launched three iron ninja stars faster than anyone could react. The three ninjas who had spoken fell dead with the throwing stars partially protruding from their foreheads.

“We have to stop them before they get to the Palace,” Rocket whispered.

“Don’t worry, Rocket, where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Do you see all the candles in here?”

“Yes, but I see all the ninjas too. We’re way too outnumbered.”

“Just follow my lead.”

Phoenix gestured at the far wall. All seven hundred and fifty-three candles on that wall suddenly shot flames upward as if they were flame-throwers.

Phoenix gathered all the flame and heat into one tight column of fire, and then brought it down on the heads of around a hundred of Fangwoman’s minions.

Some died screaming. Others managed to pat out the fires on their clothing. Still others seemed to be wearing flame-proof armor.

Rocket gestured at a near wall to accomplish the same effect It appeared at first that he had set about a hundred and twenty ninjas on fire. The effect was very similar to what Phoenix had achieved. However, more than twice as many put the flames out, and three times as many proved to be fire-proof.

“Well, this should prove difficult,” said Rocket through gritted teeth.’

“Oh, yes! Difficult, but glorious fun!” laughed Phoenix. It was going to be a long, hot night, Rocket thought as he began to grow his fire-form around himself.