Okay, I admit it, a grown man playing with dolls is somewhat worrisome. But, hey! I’m a retired school teacher that survived 23 years of seventh graders. I’m entitled to be a bit mentally damaged. But I recently saw Guardians of the Galaxy, and I was so inspired that, when I saw this doll… er… action figure at Walmart for only ten dollars… Okay, I know I don’t have any money. I do remember what teacher pay is all about (self-satisfaction, enough money to keep you from qualifying for food stamps, and all the pencils and chalk you can fit in your pockets). But ten dollars… and I have only bought a new toy one… er… two other times in 2014. And, Rocket Raccoon! Right?
Tag Archives: photo Paffooney
From the D&D Table
We like miniature figures and homemade illustrations in our D&D campaign. Let me show you a bit of the excessively obsessive results of this preference.
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Toonerville, the Current City Overview
Mm-hmm, Toonerville is a town I founded and built. I know that sounds strange, but I can explain. It used to be my HO model train layout. It used to be, when I owned a house in Cotulla, Texas, I had room for a four by twelve sheet of plywood on which to lay track, wire it up, build scenery, and run my model trains (and two different versions of the Toonerville Trolley).
Toonerville is named after Fontaine Fox’s Toonerville Folks comic strip that appeared in newspapers from 1915 until the 1950’s. A book of Fox’s collected Toonerville cartoons became my most prized possession during my college days, the second half of the 1970’s. More than just a favorite book, it became my religion, my Bible, influencing not only my art style and my cartoon stories, but my very perception of small town life, the only life I knew from 1956 to 1975.
When we moved from South Texas to the Dallas area in 2004, my city of Toonerville had to be torn down, boxed up, and transported. Sadly, it never got set up as an HO train layout again. Now it is relegated to the tops of three bookcases. In addition to train engines that mostly still run (though I am guessing, not basing that on experiment), it includes model houses and city buildings that I put together myself and painted, plaster buildings that I have painted, and other nick-knack-shelf buildings of approximately the right size that I have re-painted (including re-painted Christmas, Easter, and Halloween ornaments, plus one house-shaped candle that my sister-in-law gave me). Oh, yes, you can plainly see the portions of my Pez dispenser collection that sit grumpily amid the streets of Toonerville.
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What Mickey’s Magical Tome says about Horror and Fear
I never could watch only the start of the monster movie, the late-night Saturday creature feature. Once begun, I had to see it to the very end. I had to know the evil was ended and the horror was defeated.If I did not find out, then nightmares ensued. The night I watched John Carpenter’s original Halloween, I had to get up in the night and check the closet fifteen times. I almost didn’t survive number thirteen, nearly dying from dread, and the light stayed on for the rest of the night. I need to see that which scares me in the light of reason and hope. I need to face my fears and overcome them with mental and spiritual power. No story is ever wholly unreal, and no enemy stalks me forever without end.
(You probably can’t read it, but my magical tome contains a list of magic words, words that mean “magic”, incantations against the fear of the dark.)
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Celebrity Endorsements
It is difficult to get a book noticed by the book-buying (and hopefully book-reading) public. If you have a good book, especially if you have gone the independent publishing route, promotion and advertisement cost far more than you are likely to make on the book. No one notices. No one reads. The ones who do read don’t review it. So you have to be creative. Or maybe creatively evil. If you are going to get somebody with some pull to recommend your book, you may have to trick them. I got Batgirl here to endorse my book by promising to give her information about the location of the Joker’s lair. I tricked her into waiting in front of my book while I secretly snapped this picture with my concealed bow-tie camera. You can’t actually tell from the picture, but she conked me on the head with that titanium batarang once the flash went off in her face. But I got the endorsement for free. Of course, now I’m on a most-wanted list from the Justice League for marketing fraud.
The Wizard’s Magical Tomes
For the last 25 years of my life, I have been laboring to create hand-made books filled with my magical research and spells. The two in the back are scrapbooks filled with printed images, drawings, poems, and short autobiographical compositions. I collect in them things I mean to weave into fiction, things I mean to use as models for artwork. The two in the foreground are completely cartoon stories in rough draft form. These are not books I ever mean to have published. They are filled with things I intend to use in my work at some future time. Many of these images and poems I have used already somewhere. But there are many, many more. That makes these tomes something of a treasure… at least to me.
Captain Action, Space Hero

One of the things I find so fascinating about Captain Action is the way he portrays space heroes from comic strips that were created long before I was born. Here you see Flash Gordon (the mask is from 1967, the rest of the costume comes from Playing Mantis in 2003.)
Buck Rogers from the 25th Century (everything here is either a recreation by hobbyists or a replacement part) stands next to him.
The Harshest Critic
“If you want to be a successful writer, you need to listen to me. I am a reader. You have to please me.”
“Yes, but, you are telling me to cut sixty per cent of everything.”
“Well, it isn’t any good, is it?”
“I like it.”
“That’s why you have to cut it. These philosophies you write about… I don’t agree with those. They are just wrong.”
“Not philosophies… themes, ideas, theories.”
“Still, they have to go. What you are writing about is horse poop.”
“Couldn’t you find anything to like in my entire story?”
“What does it mean to like something? If you just do what I tell you, people will like what you write. You don’t need all these stupid metaphors and allusions. Write simple things. Acknowledge the hand of God as the creator of everything.”
“People already like what I write. Not everyone wants to hear religious rants all the time.”
“I’m not saying all the time. Just enough to be good for people… to be instructive and up-building.”
“I’d rather tell stories just for fun. I want to write stories that I’d like to read myself.”
“If you do that, then you will be the only one who reads your stories.”
“So you don’t think my story is any good?”
“It’s horse poop.”
“Well, I’m going to write it anyway… the way I want. If it isn’t any good, then maybe I’m no good.”
“I’m not saying that? Why do you have to take it that way?”
“Horse poop is a complement?”
“No, but you have to hear constructive criticism and change it.”
“Sixty per cent isn’t constructive. It’s destructive.”
“Whatever… why did you ask me to read it, anyway? You never listen to me.”
“You are actually part of me. Your opinion is supposed to matter. “
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