Aeroquest… Canto 38

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Canto 38 – The Master Speaks

      Xavier Tkriashav came back to the planet Zarane for the first time in a quarter of a century.  It had once been home.  By the looks of it, though, they had been through hard times in his absence.  The Downport at Zhdlianta City was run down and nearly deserted.  Only a handful of junky old fossil merchant ships still traveled in and out of the place.  The lone military ship that once had carried a hundred teleport commandos aloft sat broken down and thoroughly pirate-scarred in its dry-dock.

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The Megadeath sat down on what once had been the Psion Emperor’s landing pad.  No one was there to meet them.  The Lupin Stardog Corsairs filled the empty landing pads surrounding it.  If they had been an invasion force or a raiding party, they would have entered Zarane’s largest city unopposed.  Tkriashav frowned.

“We be jammin’” said Vince Niell.  “Last stop, spooky world of the supersonic headhunters.  Everybody out!”

Tkriashav was the only one who left the safety of the starship willingly.  Everyone else edged out behind him.  Young Rocket Rogers kindled a small ball of flame in his right hand, apparently to be ready in case the worst happened.  He cradled the baby fireball out of sight in his hands.

“Wha…?” said Cold Death as a small rock flew out of the shadows and plunked him on his head.

Vince and Nikki pulled their laser pistols.  Cold Death stupidly rubbed his throbbing head.

“Friends?  Zaranians? Countrymen?  I have returned.  Why is no one here to lend an ear?”

“Go away!” shouted someone in the middle distance.  Vince pointed his weapon in the general direction but could see no one to shoot at.

“The crowd is in the Gallows Stadium!” cried someone else from further away.  “Go there to get what’s coming to you.”

“Jeez, man,” moaned Nikki Sixx, “we should leave now, dude!”

“Yeah, well, I mean…  Wait,” said Tkriashav.  “I know these people better than they know themselves.  They need to hear our good news!”

Resolutely Tkriashav began his march to the Gallows Stadium, expecting everyone else to follow him.  Slowly they did.

On the way, several people saw Tkriashav and his crew.  They all turned tail and sprinted towards the Gallows Stadium.  Word would proceed the Psion Master himself.

The stadium was designed, just as the name suggested, as a place of public execution.  It was, in fact, quite crowded with the current execution nearing its commencement.  As Tkriashav entered through the main gates, all eyes turned his way.  Some few shouted “Hurray!” but many others hissed a “Boo!” at him.  The rest were unnaturally silent.  On the gallows itself were three Nebulons and a white-skinned boy about to be hung.  The adult male Nebulon glared defiantly at Tkriashav with a noose securely around his neck.  The blue-skinned woman and the Nebulon boy were both crying.  The white boy, also balanced precariously with a noose around his throat, looked grim.

Tkriashav marched up to the gallows platform, shoving several planetary officials and Telepathic Monitors aside.  He raised his hands to the crowd.

“Zaranians, I have returned.  I am Tkriashav, First Psion of Zarane from the Aziashav Dynasty.  I know you will not go through with this unwarranted execution!  To have a share in the prosperity I bring, your hands must remain clean of innocent blood.”

“What makes you believe they are innocent!” cried a Telepathic Monitor in a blue turban and Psi-police uniform.

“I can foresee the future.  If you kill them, I see this planet devastated in war.  You have no fleet left!”

“These Nebulon invaders have no real fleet either!  They are Psionic and intend to overrun our world.”

“Have you probed them?”

“The two boys are too powerful.  They shield everyone around them from telepathic probes!” accused a red-turbaned Psion Centurion.

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“Those of you who remember me from twenty years ago will recall my powers of clairvoyance.  I foresee the space whale navies of two entire Nebulonin clans coming to destroy this world.  Every last man of you will lie dead in your own filth for the atrocity you plan to commit here today!  Only if you listen to this blue man do you stand to reap the benefits of the prosperity and high technology that I have brought back to you.”

“Empty words, Tkriashav!” called out Shivitatla, one of Tkriashav’s former political rivals.  “You may have predicted your own disappearance and return, but you failed to predict the death of Aziashav II.  The world of Zarane has gone to ruin in your absence.  Stardogs and Nebulons are to blame.  They decimated our fleets and dropped colonies on all the empty worlds in this sector!”

“Perhaps,” said Tkriashav grimly, “you need to hear why.  Did you give this Nebulon ambassador a chance to speak?”

“No,” said Shivitatla.  “<You know already why he’s here, don’t you!>” he added in Zaradese.

“<Do you?>” The force of Tkriashav’s reply made Shivitatla stagger backwards.

“Let the Psion Master give us proof!” shouted a Psi-police Lieutenant.  “I would hear the evidence!”

“Let the Nebulon speak!” said Tkriashav.

“He’s a stupid Space Smurf!” cried several.  “He doesn’t know Galactic English!”

“Can you speak to us?” Tkriashav asked the blue man directly.

“I can speaken Galagic Engrish!” he said in a thick, but understandable accent.  “I need to speaken!”

The crowd grew hushed at the surprising revelation.  Xavier Tkriashav walked up to the man and removed the noose from his neck.  “Speaken,” he said.

“I am for Clannish Sinjarac talken!” said the blue man.  “I am Ambassador Jor.  My clan has left the Great Nebula from before I am bornen.  Tshizcaruc!  We are refugees of a great war.  We leaven the Pan Galactic Union because of Faceless Horde.  We leaven Imperial Borders because of pirates and Galtorrian monster men.  We been many killed by your kind.  We beg for place to stayen!  We like many other mens.  We bleed.  We feel sorrow.  Give us any worlds you want.  Airless okay!  Gas Giants!  We live where you do not!  We only want peace, a place to belongen.”

“Let me add this,” said Tkriashav, “I am a powerful clairvoyant.  I know what course will bring us happiness!  This man offers you something you need from Nebulons, peace and friendship.  I can also show you proof that the prophecies of Xan have come true.”

“A new White Spider?” asked Shivitatla amazed.

“Yes.  A man called Ged Aero.  He is on a planet called Gaijin, not many parsecs from here.  He will rebuild an Empire and create a new future for us.”

“I hope you can prove that,” said Shivitatla, “but if you can, then I yield to you.  Your way could be right after all.  I will not stand in the way of Xan’s Prophecy.”

The people began cheering.  The government officials began chattering amongst themselves.  The possibilities began to open their minds and hearts.

“I thanken you for saving us,” said Jor to Tkriashav.  “I am grateful for the lives of my son, Gyro, my wife, Natasha, and this young cowsboy, Billy Iowa.”

“I had a dream about this,” Tkriashav said, helping Jor to free his family, “and if it comes true, we will all be thanking you and your family.”

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Marching Into the Sunrise

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Life isn’t exactly fair.  After working hard at being a teacher for 31 years, I was forced to retire by poor health.

I have diabetes.  And I was told recently by medical professionals that if I have a heart attack, I probably won’t be able to feel it coming on.  Not much hope for surviving it when it comes.

Retirement for me has been a matter of diminishing returns.  Reduced income gradually led to hospital bills I couldn’t pay and predatory banks with toothy credit card deals forcing me into bankruptcy.  Now I can’t afford to pay rising property taxes on a house that is falling apart from foundation problems and old age.  So, in the near future, we will lose the house.

But I am not ready to give up and die just yet.  I still have stories to tell.  There are still people who care about me.   I still have the ability to tell a joke or two and make people either smile a little or cringe a little.  I have already published six good novels filled with a bit of humor and a lot of life.

Let tomorrow come.  I am ready.  Time to face it like a good soldier, marching forward, weapons at the ready.  Even if the bright sun is in my old eyes.

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Character References, Part 3

When choosing who’s picture to publish of all the many made-up people that live in my head and my fiction, I often wonder, do I have an accurate sense of who is important and who is merely minor?  I offer now some characters I don’t feel comfortable leaving out.

Mazie Haire

Mazie Haire

One of the Haire Sisters, rumored to be a witch, and proud to prove it to you, Mazie is a severe and highly focused individual with a knack for seeing and convincing you of the truth.  So, maybe she really is a witch.

She appears in;

Snow Babies

 

 

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Milton John Morgan (Milt)

I can’t tell you about the witch without mentioning the wizard.  Milt Morgan is the Merlin of the Norwall Pirates (an adventuring gang and 4-H softball team).

He is one of the founders of the gang and the one who got them into the most trouble in the 1970’s.

He appears in;

Superchicken

The Baby Werewolf

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Torrie Brownfield

Torrie is the hair-everywhere boy with hypertrichosis, the werewolf-hair disease.  He was genetically doomed to life looking like a werewolf.  He was discovered living in hiding in Norwall by the Pirates’ gang who decided they simply had to make him a member.

He is, of course, the main character of;

The Baby Werewolf

And also appears in;

Recipes for Gingerbread Children

 

Harker

Harker Dawes

Harker is a clown-character based on a real person living in the real town of Norwall.  He buys the local hardware store and runs the business into bankruptcy.  He is not only a ne’er-do-well, but he also is a truly loveable fool.

He plays a key role in;

Snow Babies

He is also in the upcoming novel;

Fools and Their Toys

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Dilsey Murphy

Dilsey is Mike’s slightly older sister who seems to be in a lot of my stories.  She is a tomboy and a Daddy’s girl.  She is also beloved by her irascible Grampy, Cudgel Murphy.  Mike Murphy both hates her and loves her, but mostly just depends on her.

She is in;

Magical Miss Morgan

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

and a large number of upcoming stories

 

 

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Sean “Cudgel” Murphy

Grampy of the Murphy Clan, Cudgel is the meanest old man you’d ever want to meet.  He is excellently suited to the job of teaching kids to swear.  And he only drives his Austin Hereford, “The finest car made anywhere in the whole goddam world in 1954!”

He appears in;

Snow Babies

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

Crooner

Francois Martin

Francois, the French orphan, is the main character in my current manuscript,

Sing Sad Songs.

He paints his face in clown paint and sings beautifully enough to save his Uncle’s business.  I am halfway finished with this new novel.

So, now I feel like I have exhausted myself in character introductions and will probably eschew a “Part 4”.  But with Mickey, there are no guarantees.

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Hidden Kingdom (through page 12)

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H21x

HK41

HK31

Hk51

HK61

 

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hk81

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hk101

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A Character Reference, Part 2

Yesterday an inconvenient internet outage interrupted my fountain of character gushing.  So let me splash a couple more on here.

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Tim Kellogg

Tim is a school teacher’s son who is sorta, kinda, based on my own oldest son… and maybe a little bit on me.  He’s clever, creative, a natural leader, and only slightly evil part of the time.

Tim is a main character in;

Catch a Falling Star

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

Magical Miss Morgan

 

Grandma Gretel

 

Grandma Gretel Stein

Gretel is a German survivor of the concentration camps who sees and talks to fairies on a regular basis.  She also bakes magically delicious gingerbread cookies.  And loves to tell stories to those who eat her cookies.

She is a main character in;

Recipes for Gingerbread Children

She is an important character in;

Superchicken

The Baby Werewolf

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The Primary Cast of Recipes for Gingerbread Children (left to right) Grandma Gretel, the cookie baker, Todd Niland, handsome young farm boy and cookie-eater, Sherry Cobble, nudist and junior high cheerleader, and Sandy Wickham, cookie-eater and Todd Niland’s crush.

My Art 2 of Davalon

Farbick

He’s the alien Telleron pilot and good guy aboard Xiar’s space ship who gets shot during the failed invasion of Iowa and helps save the planet in the near future.  He’s a main character in;

Catch a Falling Star

Stardusters and Space Lizards

Davalon (re-named David by the couple who adopts him)

Dav is the alien boy accidentally lost on earth in Catch a Falling Star, and leader of the young explorers in Stardusters and Space Lizards.

Superchick

Edward-Andrew Campbell, the Superchicken

It is possible E-A is really me.  He bears my high school nickname.  He is a boy trying to cope with being the new kid in a tightly knit little Iowa farm town.

He is the main character in;

Superchicken

 

 

I fear I am still a long way from done with referring to characters in my books.  But more waits for another day.

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A Character Reference

Humble Admission

Millis

 

 

Millis

He was once an ordinary pet rabbit, transformed through an accident involving a time-traveler’s alien-created mechanical carrot.

He is a character in;

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

 

 

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       Mike Murphy and Blueberry Bates (his girlfriend)  (She forced me to write that last thing, Mike.)

Mike is a member of the Murphy clan who resides in Murphy Mansion with many other Murphys.  Blueberry is the girl who chased him until she caught him and turned him into her boyfriend.

Seen in the novels;

The Bicycle Wheel Genius

Magical Miss Morgan

Catch a Falling Star  (only Mike is in that one)  (He forced me to write that, Blue)

Val in the Yard

Valerie Clarke

Valerie is a young Iowan farmgirl who lost her father far too soon.  She loves skateboards, 80’s music, and boys, especially boys who can sing.

She is a main character in;

Snow Babies

Sing Sad Songs

She is also an important character in;

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

 

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Sherry Cobble

Sherry and her twin sister, Shelly, look almost exactly alike.  They are, with both of their parents, practicing nudists.  They love being nude at home on the farm, at the Sunshine Club in Clear Lake, and at school when they can get away with it (which is mostly a matter of girls’ locker rooms.)

Sherry and her twin are important characters in;

Superchicken

     Recipes for Gingerbread Children

     The Baby Werewolf

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     Orben Wallace, bicycle engineer

Orben came to Norwall after a tragic fire in his home and laboratory killed his family.  He switched from physics to bicycle engineering and opened a new lab where it is rumored that he also created sentient robots, time travel machines, supercomputers, and had relationships with aliens and time travelers.  Of course the only physical proof of anything are the bicycles he made.

He is a main character in; The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

He is also an important character in; Catch a Falling Star

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Anneliese Stein

Anneliese is a gingerbread cookie brought back to life through magical baking skills of her human mother, Grandma Gretel Stein.  She was also a human girl in the 1930’s and early 1940’s who also had, unfortunately, a Jewish father.  Okay, I know… I will explain better later.

She is an important character in;

Recipes for Gingerbread Children

 

This will have to be finished another day.  I have too many more characters to show you, and my Internet is giving out.

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Essential Sorting

The internet is a golden treasure chest with an attached bag of holding for me.  In other words, a lot of the writing I do depends heavily on a resource that didn’t really exist until I was almost 40 years old.  I save stuff from my eclectic surfing forays in computer files that tend to become amazingly complex garbage dumps.  So today, I decided to sort one of them to go through stuff I thought might make an interesting blog post.

So, let me show you some of the treasures I have found that could become upcoming blog posts.   I will go through the sorted files from July of 2018.

The Dragon Prince

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This is a funny, fascinating, D&D-type adventure series from Netflix and the creators of Avatar, the Last Air Bender.

I have recently watched the entire first season, and love this show enough to write a gushing love-review.

Fresh Off the Boat

This is a show on regular TV, the ABC network.  It is about an immigrant family originally from China.  I think I am married to the spiritual twin of the lead female character, an obsessively controlling Asian wife who has to have her fingers in every single pie in the neighborhood.

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It is chocked full of little things that are both bizarre and funny about Asian cultures being assimilated in this country.  And the kids are cute and extremely talented.

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Gene Colan

Gene Colan was one of my favorite comic book artists in the 70’s and 80’s.  I will probably do a more in-depth biography post on him in the future because he really helped me learn to draw in pen and ink.  I copied his work from Daredevil, Howard the Duck, and Tomb of Dracula.  But all of the work I will show you is done not by me, but by Gene.

Miscellany

This is the stuff that didn’t need its own folder.

 

Twitter Nudists

This is one I might not be able to use and still maintain a mild R-rating.  But I am, in fact, a member of the online nudist community.

Theodore Roethke

This one was already turned into a good blog post.

The Wizard of Ozz

It goes without saying, nobody can have too many Wizard of Oz pictures.

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Aeroquest… Scherzo 1

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Scherzo 1 – Who?

      In the Central Hospital of downtown Oasis City, Hassan the Elf was awakening from his ordeal.  Maggie the Knife sat by his bed with little Artran hanging out at the foot of the bed.

“He’s awake, Mommy!” announced Artran.

“So he is,” said the red-haired beauty, reaching over to brush a lock of hair out of Hassan’s eyes.  “Welcome back little one.”

In a very soft-spoken voice Hassan said, “I am one hundred and four years old.  I have had fourteen wives and seven hundred children in my time.  I may look young, but I’m not exactly a child.”

“My, my!” said Maggie in the tone of an indulgent parent.  “You are quite the little man!”

“Do I get Daddy?” Artran asked of his mother.

“Please.  Tell him the Peri is awake.”

“Right away!”  Artran tore out of the hospital room as if it were on fire.

“So tell me,” said the elf softly, “will I be kept around for my intellect, or will you do away with me now that I am crippled?”

“Ooh, how you talk!  You’ve been liberated by the Pinwheel Corsairs of Tron Blastarr.  We intend to let you decide your own fate.  Tron is planning to pay for an artificial leg for you.”

“Why would a corsair leader help a poor Peri slave?”  Hassan’s eyes were large and filled with tears.  He couldn’t believe his sudden good luck.

“We Blastarrs believe that all races and individuals have worth.  It’s what has made us so unpopular with the Galtorr Imperium.”

Scan_0005At that moment the room filled with an unnatural pinkish light.  By the wall opposite the bed a really old-style phone booth materialized out of thin air.  One creature was inside, a middle-aged human with shaggy gray hair and a large nose.  He also had bags under his eyes as if from excessive fatigue.  And he carried an umbrella under one arm.  He opened the phone booth and stepped out.

“Who are you?” asked Maggie, staring.

“Exactly!  You can call me Doctor Hooey, or just… Doctor.  I’m a Time Knight from the planet Gallagos.  This is not a phone box; it is my TimeShip, the Star Wars.  It’s really much more impressive than it looks.”

At that moment, Tron and the King of Killers arrived to greet the awakened Peri.

“What is going on here?” demanded the scar-faced boss.

“Er… I was just telling your wife, Maggie, I believe, that I am a Time Knight of Gallagos.  I come from long, long ago and far, far away to find you, Tron.”

“What?  How do you know my name?”

“I told you.  I am a Time Knight of Gallagos.  This telephone box is my TimeShip, the Star Wars.”

“No.  I mean, what are you doing here?  How do you know who I am?”

“I’m not an agent of the late Count Nefaria, if that’s what you fear.  I came here because King Ryan Beowulf of the Time Knights sent me here to find you and do the things the record books said were done in the proper timeline.  We have a pyramid to look into and some Imperial secrets to steal.”

“What is this record book you speak of?  And what PYRAMID?”

“I’m a Time Knight!  I know things that haven’t happened yet… and things that once happened that nobody else alive today knows about.  I travel through time, forwards and backwards, and I know it’s all very confusing!  It gives me a headache to think about it too.”

“What is a Time Knight?” asked Artran, staring out from behind his father’s leg.  “And why do you have those golden question marks on your old, tweedy suit?”

“Ah, you ask good questions, boy!  No wonder you become so famous if you manage to live past the age of thirteen!  A Time Knight…”  Here Dr. Hooey had to pause to take a breath as all the oxygen in his brain was used up.  “…is an adventurer and hero who travels through time, correcting anything that has gone, or might go wrong with the stream of time.”

“Wow,” said Hassan softly.  “You talk funny!”

Artran snickered.  Tron himself began to smile.

“Oh, I’m not the worst one, believe me.  Of all the Time Knights, Dr. Emmit Brown talks the fastest.  Sir H.G. Wells has a funny English accent.  Sir Emerald Man is an original Galtorrian and speaks with a snaky lisp.  No, I’m not the worst one.”

“So what is this nonsense about a pyramid?” asked Tron, sounding more exasperated than he looked.

“It’s the reason I have come.  If we don’t go and look into that pyramid, then your New Star League will never be formed.  You will never become the Grand Admiral of Outpost, and Ged Aero will never become the successor to Shan as the White Spider!”

“So, you better lead the way!” said Tron.

“You know,” said Hooey, “Master Hassan has to be there as well, along with your friend Mr. Killer.”

“Are you ready to travel, elf?” asked Tron.

“You can’t!” said Maggie.  “The boy just woke up from a coma!”

“I will do anything you ask of me,” said Hassan sincerely to Tron.  “You have helped this lowly one in a way that can never be repaid, except by never-ending service.  It is my duty.”

Tron smiled at the elf.  He was almost truly handsome when he smiled, in spite of the nasty scar through his eye.  Hassan felt blessed to have such a brave and generous man as his new lord and master.

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Advertising on E-Bay Ignorantly

skortch

You are probably not going to believe this, but there are certain things you simply cannot safely sell on E-Bay.  My first good novel, Catch a Falling Star, took years to write.  The research, interviews with survivors, fighting off remaining alien invaders left behind when the Telleron invasion failed, and clean-up of sites and inconvenient witnesses took at least from 1990 to 2012.  And then, as part of my marketing-by-blogging strategy for the book, I took a box of leftover skortch pistols and listed them for sale on E-Bay.  They turned out to be a very popular item.  It took the first skortch ray almost a year to sell for a measly five dollars.  It was bought by a woman with a very annoying husband.  She apparently bought the item as a joke, thinking it would not actually work as a molecular disintegration weapon.  But after she surprised her husband with it and then posted the surprising results on Facebook, I quickly sold out the rest of the 26 pistols in the box and made almost $800. I am told by concerned investigative reporters that crotchety old men, ugly wives, and particularly Dennis-the-Menace-like kids were disappearing all across the Midwest.  I also learned that one skortch ray pistol came into the hands of a Republican political operative before the election in 2016.  That fact may have accounted for the disappearances of large numbers of registered Democrats in both Michigan and Pennsylvania in the weeks before the election.

I wanted to inform you that I may have done something stupid on E-Bay.  Therefore I am re-posting the drawing I did of Studpopper the Telleron demonstrating the firing of an example skortch pistol created by Zillokahsitter Industries on Telleri Prime with Sylvani technology.  If you should see one of these in the hands of a spouse that thinks you are grumpy too much of the time, I would suggest an almost instantaneous program of self-improvement.  And if you see one in the hands of someone in a red MAGA baseball cap, immediately put on your own red hat and say something inordinately stupid so they will assume you are one of them, and hope they skortch themselves by accident before they get around to skortching you.

Sorry about that.  I should’ve thought this whole thing through more carefully beforehand.

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Lazy Sunday Non-Posting

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Dilsey Murphy, my favorite minor character

Some days… some rainy, nasty,  high-pollen days… I just don’t feel well enough to do the usual amount of writing.

Five hundred words on the daily post and five hundred words on my novel project are the usual product.

Today I give you a look at an artwork that I scanned in four parts and put together with a cheap photoshop program.  This is a picture of Dilsey Murphy, a supporting character in The Bicycle-Wheel Genius and Magical Miss Morgan.  She’s wearing a Carl Eller jersey for watching Sunday football with her dad Warren Murphy, a rabid Minnesota Vikings fan.  She is one of my favorite characters of all time as a minor player in a large number of my hometown stories, both written and unwritten.

So, that is the best I can do for today in this particular goofy little blog.  Less than 200 words, but with a Paffooney I am proud of.

 

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