
It’s easy to explain how… You just can’t…
But nonsense is a rubbery sort of sense. You can pull it like taffy, wind it around your neck, let it harden into one of those neck rings like some of those African women who put on more and more neck rings until their neck bones separate and they can never again take the neck rings off because they will die of a broken neck if they do.
That’s probably a racist joke. Although it is not really a joke, but more of a surrealistic observation. They really do wear those neck rings. The Ndebele tribe from the Transvaal Region of South Africa wear these things sometimes even without being in a Black Panther movie in the MCU. In Black Panther movies they are worn by the Dora Milaje who protect the Black Panther. And the words “Dora Milaje” mean the “Adored Ones.” And you have to adore them, or else they might kick your butt, or even break it into three pieces. They are very tough and determined ladies.
And then there’s the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. He wears crazy stuff too. But if he tried to join a nudist organization and become a nudist, he would disrobe and suddenly be transformed into a small haystack of straw. And what would that look like? A straw pile with two little white eyeballs laying at the peak of the pile?
And obviously that could be a racist joke too. But what race would we be running? And how slow would you have to be to be beaten in a race by a naked straw man?
But straw men are even more discriminated against than other men, nude or not. You see, politicians are constantly setting them up because when you are arguing with the other party, they are easy to knock down with your superior arguments. But, of course, the Democrats are always easier to knock down anyway, because they don’t rely on made-up facts and scare tactics. They only try to scare you with true stuff. And they are more likely to start wondering what a naked strawman would look like.

And then you take the rubbery nonsense and wind it all around the parts of this picture. It has a lot of real things in it, yet most of those things are not really real. Like Mickey Mouse. He’s real. I mean, there’s a real guy or girl inside the hot costume. But the outside is not really real. And you would be hard pressed to actually see the really real guy inside the suit because it is really hard to see what’s hidden inside a costume if it is currently in a colored-pencil drawing. In fact, Cissy Spasek is in the picture, but as the character who kills everybody in the movie Carrie. So, which part of that is most real? Carrie is a real book by Stephen King. And how many real people are in this picture? And how many fake people? That’s the thing about nonsense… It doesn’t make any sense.































Dave Barry
I threatened to write a post about Dave Barry and the writing gods apparently thought that was a very very bad idea. They have tried to prevent me from carrying out this idle threat by attacking my computer with gremlins. Now my WordPress page is shrinking practically out of sight. I can barely see what I am typing. You don’t believe me? Here’s what it looks like at the moment;
They obviously tricked me into pressing the secret shrink button on my computer, and I have no idea where to find the un-shrink features. Not only that, but my Facebook page is automatically translating everything it can into French. They really don’t want me to tell you about Dave Barry. And why do you suppose that is?
Well, Dave Barry may actually be me from a parallel dimension. He started writing for The Miami Herald in the early 80’s, at about the same time I started teaching. He retired from that in 2004 after winning a Pulitzer Prize and started writing humorous novels…. the same thing I started doing when I left the job I loved and was good at. Okay, so I am stretching the analogy to the point that all the buttons are popping off its shirt… but the point is, we are alike in some ways and I admire his work and I steal things from it whenever I possibly can. Like this post. I deeply admire the way he can say witty and pithy things. Like some of these quotes;
So, you see, he is very good at doing what I want to be good at. He is a humor columnist and all-around imitation Mark Twain. And I have read and loved his novels. Especially the Peter Pan things he writes with a partner.
So, I will leave this post here even though I could talk for hours about how Dave Barry makes me laugh. I have to stop. the words on the screen keep getting smaller and smaller, and my old eyes are about to fall out of my head.
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