I had to think long and hard about this. I don’t know how to go about it because I myself am really the opposite of a nudist or a naturist. I cover up parts of me in public that most people don’t because of psoriasis and unsightly sores on my arms, hands, neck, and jawline. But I used to know naturists. I have walked among them, even though I was never brave enough to actually walk naked among them. But I have this goofy thought that has been nagging me from a back corner of the upstairs filing rooms of my stupid old head. All people are actually nudists under their clothes.
Now, if a doofus is trying to argue something as crazily goofy as this, he better have some good main points backed up by real research. I, of course, am probably not as sensible as that, so let me go with these three main points;
- Public nudity is not an invasion of privacy since the person pretty much has to be intentionally nude, and they are not revealing anything that isn’t true of all of us.
- Artists really need to draw and paint nudes because one can’t create realistic figures without discovering how to do it by practice.
- Naked people are generally happier and more sane than the rest of us.
When I was visiting my girlfriend in the 1980’s at the clothing-optional apartment complex in Austin, Texas, I did not option for naked. And I really couldn’t protest naked hairy guys strutting in front of me by the pool because I knew what was inside the gate when I knocked the first time. Nudists are not really suffering from invasion of privacy. They choose to be naked and choose to be in these places like nude beaches where other people are naked too.
You don’t accidentally become a nudist. (Even though I wrote a novel about a boy accidentally becoming a nudist in Iowa in the 70’s.) Even the nudists I have posted in these pictures are not having their privacy violated. These images originate with old naturist publications purchased in the 80’s. That means they intended them to be seen. In fact, I am able to find ample nudism seeking an audience on Facebook and Twitter.
BBC Why All Artists Should Have Naked Ambition
And either drawing nude models is an essential part of art training, or all people who learn to draw are perverts and just make art so they can ogle nude models. I wrote in this crazy blog before about my experience with college-level nude drawing class. I got a “C+”, not because I wasn’t any good at drawing the naked female art students and naked exhibitionist hairy guys that posed for us, but because the teacher was hyper critical and probably anal-retentive just the way all really exceptional art teachers probably are.
I am quite capable of drawing the delicate and exquisite nude figure without becoming a gynecological illustrator or even a crude, rude dude. And there is art to it. It is not meaningless.
But in the final analysis, we all have a bit of the nudist instinct in us. We all secretly enjoy those times when we were able to be naked, however briefly, in the warm enfolding light of the sun. If you have not experienced that and don’t know what I’m talking about, then why have you read this far through the post? Why have my posts about drawing nudes and being around naturists been my most popular posts?
We have that urge to go naked because that is how God made us. Being naked in the company of other naked people is actually good for you. At least, Scientific American thinks so.
Benefits of Nudity from Scientific American
Daily Mail Being naked makes us happier with our bodies
In truth, my time among the naturists helped me recover from the trauma of being sexually assaulted by another boy when I was ten. That was a long, painful journey that deprived me for a while of being able to be naked. For a while I was too damaged to be a happy naturist. But I have come so far now; I can even make this admission in writing. I would like to be a nudist, even if only for a very brief while. In fact, I think we are all at least a bit like that. Now, if only my skin would stop flaking and peeling off.
Catch a Falling Star 
Stupid Is as Stupid Does
This is not a tribute to Winston Groom and his famous creation, Forrest Gump. This is an admission that when I have had very little sleep and lots of worry lines on my brow, I often do remarkably stupid things.
And sometimes, doing something monumentally stupid makes me feel better. You know, more a part of the stupid, meaningless, and goofy world around me. So, what stupid thing did I do? I joined a nudist organization’s website. Me, who freaks out when members of my own family happen to see me naked. And, you see, there is more to joining this organization than just signing up for some random thing on the internet where you get a lot of random emails. I had to submit nude photos of myself to be posted in community forums. And I may be able to write a blog for this website, which will mean taking some camping gear and actually going to the naturist club site near Dallas to experience the things I will be writing about… and probably making jokes about. But don’t be afraid of being subjected to the hideous torture of having to see me naked. In order to see any of that, you would have to join the organization yourself, and you are probably not as stupid as me. (But I am not telling you the name of the website anyway.)
This is a detail from an illustration based on Golding’s Lord of the Flies. But it is also a picture of me and a childhood friend from back in the skinny-dipping days, based on an old black-and-white photo.
You see, I have some real life experiences with nudists before this happened. I had a roommate in grad school who liked to go au naturel, and even was comfortable with me being in the room when his girlfriend was visiting. He was nude in the kitchen one time when my grandparents came to visit. It is a good thing my grandfather entered that room ahead of my grandmother. I also had a girlfriend in the eighties who had a sister living in the clothing-optional apartment complex in Austin, Texas. Every time we visited Austin, the city nearest where my parents lived, she would stay with her sister there and I would have to go in to fetch her whenever we had plans. Sometimes I was there just to visit. But always, since clothing was optional, I took that option. I did get used to being around naked people, though. I actually have nudist friends.
So, though I am not a nudist, I guess I already know a lot about how to be one. It is how I managed to stumble into this awkward arrangement.
I know I will never be able to get my wife to go along on this harrowing adventure. She refuses to even consider going nude in the house. She has to wear clothes to bed even though studies say that sleeping nude is good for you. I will be facing this basically naked and alone. And possible paid writing work will never make this worth it by itself.
But my photos are already posted and approved. My membership is a real thing. And I am not ready to shoot myself for this stupid decision. In fact, I will probably be less naked there than I have been here in this very blog where my every secret is laid bare and made fun of on a daily basis.
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Filed under battling depression, commentary, feeling sorry for myself, humor, nudes, Paffooney, self pity, self portrait, strange and wonderful ideas about life
Tagged as bad decisions, humor, naturists and nudists, stupid stuff, stupidity