God didn’t really want me to write this post. How do I know this? Well, my computer is old and quirky (sorta like me) and it constantly spits up and farts when it is most inconvenient. I had half of this post already written when it decided to release some toxic venom. By its own volition it suddenly highlighted and erased the whole post except for the title and a random letter “r”. And WordPress automatically and supposedly helpfully did its little “save the changes immediately” thing. The whole post was gone in a flash.
Why did God do this? Well, this isn’t really a “How to Draw Nude Figures” post as it may at first appear. It is, in fact another in a series of “Why I Am An Artist And Not A Pervert” posts that attempt to justify why a potential “dirty old man” like me spends so much time drawing pictures of naked girls.
I am currently drawing the illustration above for my novel Stardusters and Space Lizards. It shows the scene where Brekka, admittedly a female, although not a human female, has just been accidentally swallowed and then regurgitated by Lester, her friend who is a man-eating plant from an alien solar system. So excuse number one would have to be, “She’s naked because it fits the story.” I will stand by that one for matters of illustration. And you will note, there isn’t anything even remotely sexual about the situation… er, I think I would rather not be subjected to Freudian analysis on that one.
Here are three previously posted nude drawings that I used for previous attempts to corrupt the minds of readers and viewers. I got a lot of views for these posts, and may at least partially benefit from using the “naked” and “nude” tags on those posts. Illegitimate excuse number two, then is, “drawing and posting nudes increases the number of people who pay attention to my work.” My most popular blog post this year has been Be Naked More in which I rationalize my interest in naturism and walking around naked, even though I am certainly far from brave enough to do so in public.
And I further claim that it is not a sexual thing to draw someone naked. One of the fundamental truths about art is that every person I draw or paint or write about in a novel is really me. The only person who stands revealed by the work of art is me, and it is a portrait of what is inside my head. Of the five nudes in this post, only one of them was not drawn from a real life model. (And no, I am not counting the butterfly, or the Gryphon, or Lester as nudes… so stop thinking I’m just playing word games.) (Lester isn’t even a real thing… man-eating plants don’t exist… so stop it!) But none of the subjects were ever uncomfortable about posing for me. Of course now that I have suggested that lame excuse number three is, “All nudes are really me.” I probably have you thinking about the real meaning of the title of this post. I have psoriasis, I do tend to feel more comfortable with no clothes on, and do tend to write and draw when I am sitting on my sickbed naked. But I am wearing clothes at the moment. Considering the content of this post, anything else would just be creepy. So, stop trying to picture me all hairy, fat, scabby and nude. After all, you chose to look at and read this thing. Maybe I’m not the one who needs to explain why I am an artist and not a pervert.