I slept in this morning. Spent another late night doing nothing but watching monster movies. I recently got myself a DVD collection of Hammer Films monster movies from the sixties. I found it in the $5 bargain bin at Walmart, a place I regularly shop for movies.

When I was a boy, back in the 60’s, there always used to be a midnight monster movie feature called Gravesend Manor on Channel 5, WOI TV in Ames, Iowa. It started at 11:00 pm and ran til 1:00 am. I, of course, being a weird little monster-obsessed kid, would sneak downstairs in my PJ’s when everyone else was asleep and I would laugh at the antics of the goofy butler, possibly gay vampire duke, and the other guy who was supposedly made in the master’s laboratory. And when the movie started, I was often scared witless by the black-and-white monster B-movie like Scream of Fear!, or Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb, or Eyes of the Gorgon. It was always the reason I could rarely get up in time for church and Sunday school the next morning without complaints and bleary-eyed stumbling through breakfast. I never knew if my parents figured it out or not, but they probably did and were just too tired to care.
It was my source for critical monster-knowledge that would aid me greatly when I grew up to be a fireman/cowboy hero. Because battling monsters was… you know, a hero prerequisite. And I intended to be the greatest one there ever was. Even better than Wyatt Earp or Sherlock Holmes or Jungle Jim.
Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Peter Lorre, Peter Cushing, Vincent Price, and the immortal Christopher Lee were my tutors in the ways of combating the darkness. When I started watching a really creepy monster movie, I always had to stick it out to the end to see the monster defeated and the pretty girl saved. And they didn’t always end in ways that allowed me to sleep soundly after Gravesend Manor had signed off the airways for the night. Some movies were tragedies. Sometimes the hero didn’t win. Sometimes it was really more of a romance than a monster movie, and the monster was the one you were rooting for by the end. I remember how the original Mighty Joe Young made me cry. And sometimes you had to contemplate more than tragedy. You had to face the facts of death… sometimes grisly, painful, and filled with fear. You had to walk in the shoes of that luckless victim who never looked over his shoulder at the right moment, or walked down the wrong dark alley, or opened the wrong door. The future was filled with terrifying possibilities.
Now, at the end of a long life, when I am supposed to be more mature and sensible, I find myself watching midnight monster movies again. What’s wrong with me? Am in my second childhood already? Am I just a goofy old coot with limited decision-making capabilities? Of course I am. And I intend to enjoy every horrifying moment of it.

























The Story Continues…
I find myself caught up in the story once again. Netflix put a new monster-movie series out there with eight episodes starring a Dungeons & Dragons-playing group of middle school kids, a psychically powerful girl-experiment named Eleven, an assortment of dysfunctional adults, star-crossed teen romantics to use as potential monster food, and a creepy mouth-headed monster from the “upside down” to eat them all. How could I not binge-watch such a thing?
This binge-watching addiction comes at a time when I have other things on my mind. My aging parents are in poor health and have a critical doctor’s visit coming up this week. Bank of America has decided to experiment on me to see what happens if they sue me for the total amount of my debt, plus court costs, plus additional fees for betraying them by going to Wells Fargo, plus additional additional fees just because they don’t like me and think I’m ugly. I am awaiting a call from a potential lawyer-advocate to help me even as I am writing this. I am also planning how to live without money until the total is payed off in garnished pension, seized property and bank accounts, and whatever other way they can squeeze more money out of me. Some monsters are all mouth. This of course comes after I completed a program of debt resolution and paid off all my other creditors. When I called Bank of America, they didn’t seem to know what happened to the debt, so they did not participate in that. Were they plotting evil, or just that stupid? Such questions go into the making of a monster. Perhaps a monster movie television series on Netflix was precisely what I needed.
The only episode I haven’t watched yet is the last installment. Potentially the monster gets its comeuppance. That’s what the lawyer, a consumer rights attorney, promised me in his letter. It also is what the kids in Stranger Things are promising as they prepare to enter the monster’s lair.
Why do I need to see the ending of the story so badly? Because when we reach the end of our life course, the happy ending, in real life, does not overcome death and endings. We live our time on Earth, reach the end, and then we are no more. Only the story continues. New lives and new adventures begin, only to proceed relentlessly to their ending. Even when the human race’s story comes to end and there is no more life on Earth, the story continues. You have to be caught up in that. There is no other choice. The things you dread stalk you and eventually catch you, and the happy ending is bound up in how you handle it along the way.
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Filed under angry rant, autobiography, commentary, ghost stories, horror movie, humor, monsters, review of television, science fiction
Tagged as bankers and other villains, humor, monster movies, movie review, Netflix binging, Stranger Things, televison shows