One of the results of the loss of the patriarch of my wife’s family is that all the sisters in this country got together to mourn, and all bought season passes for their families to Six Flags Over Texas, the poor man’s Disney World. I, being of sound mind and decrepit body, didn’t get a vote, as I wasn’t there when they bought tickets on this extended-family plan. In fact, marching around a theme park on my arthritic legs and cane trying to breathe Texas air full of all the pollen and pollutants that have been killing me, didn’t seem like such a good thing. Yesterday I finally got talked into going and activating my already-purchased season pass.
“We will just go to use our food pass,” my wife said. “We can have dinner there at the park and get some use out of all that money I paid.”
That seemed almost reasonable.
“And if we can’t help but get on a ride or two, you can sit on a bench and watch all the weird and stupid people go by.”
Well, that sold it. So we went. We did notice, however, that the line for food was long and getting longer. Some of the people waiting seemed to have been waiting a very long time.
We finally got to the front of the line and got to pick gourmet cheeseburgers and chili fries because I don’t already have enough heart-clogging cholesterol in my system and needed a lot of greasy saturated fat for a high price. Ah, the joys of eating at a theme park. Long lines, rude people, bad food, and everybody’s patient and happy for the most part because they paid big bucks to get there.
And then, after we had our meal, we soon discovered why the theme park was full of skeletons and being pumped full of noxious chemical artificial fog.
Now, FrightFest and other celebrations of Halloween probably aren’t the best thing for people who have been associated with Jehovah’s Witnesses for twenty years, but it definitely provided a ton of stuff to see as we fled through the Old West section of the park to avoid zombie jump scares and other holiday nonsense.
The toxic artificial smog with spooky lighting made it difficult to get a picture of the giant spiders who seemed to be hanging from every tree and possibly explaining the multitude of skeletons. I didn’t get any pictures of zombies who were actually very young-looking employees in red and gray greasepaint. We were too busy avoiding getting a “gotcha!” which seemed to be the sole purpose of the zombies.
But it was still a theme park. We wound our way through the crowd and made our way out. It was a terrible mistake. But we had fun.