Tag Archives: paffooney
Goofy Illustration
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Superchicken
Today I finished the re-write on my novel Superchicken, I have only been working on it since 1988. The title came from my high school nickname. I was a nerd with the ability to play tackle football to a level that impressed all the guys who were bigger and stronger than me. It became my superhero name. So I put it into a book that is filled with stories within stories. Many of the stories are true. Some are just big goofy lies. I hope to make people laugh a little with it. I hope people are not offended a lot. But if I polish it any more than it is, I will have polished holes clear through it
The signature on the portrait of the Superchicken is simply my name spelled backwards.
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The Island Girl
When I was yet a boy in high school, I had a dream that seemed so real. I knew that one day it would come true. It was a dream of an island in the Pacific Ocean and an exotic island girl who was as intrigued by me as I was by her. I began drawing pictures of it. I don’t have the first pictures I drew any more, but here is one from college, in 1979,
As time went on, and I became a teacher, I had more dreams of who she might be and what it might mean. I met her in real life while teaching in South Texas. We were married and have three kids. The next Paffooney is from 1995.
No matter what else it might mean, it proves to me that dreams can come true. In fact, I believe that through dreams we can experience the future because we can dream outside of time. Reality is a whole, and perceiving it as a straight line from the past, through the present, into the future is only one perspective of the whole thing.
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The Amazing, Magical Miss Morgan
Okay, the thing is, I was a teacher for 31 years. I need to use that for something. If I had any choice, I’d still be teaching, but since I can’t do that, I intend to create a story that uses my teaching experience, knowledge, and talent. I finally came up with the right idea, and the prewriting has begun to flow. Francis Morgan is an unmarried teacher lady with a very Mary Poppins-like quality, but the magic is all in the teaching methods. I am pitting the hero of this little tale against the most appropriate educational villain I could think of, a principal who used to be a coach. Issues of teacher-creativity versus wrong-headed notions of school discipline will provide the conflict and the fireworks. And I intend to write it with a double layer of goopy purple comedy, because if she is going to be a sixth grade English teacher it either has to be a comedy or a complete horror story. I am too much of a coward to write anything that scary. If you are interested at all in how such a goofy little project is progressing, by all means check back in the future.
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Plans for the 4th
So, I’m thinking that for the 4th we will spend some time hunting dragons in caverns. Yeah… that’s it. Dragons in cavern.
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The Girl With the Red Bird

This is a Paffooney I have had in my portfolio for many years. Is it a miracle that it looks so much like my daughter the Princess? Yes! Most definitely. I drew this before I got married, more than twenty years ago. Yet, it looks so much like the Princess that my flabber is completely gasted.
Space Cowboys, the Kid Variety
Here are two more deadly mutant kid ninjas from Aeroquest. When the Pan Galactican Union fell to the mysterious space invaders known as the Scondians, these two mutant boys were among the flood of refugees who escaped to the Human Imperium. Gyro son of Jor is a Nebulon. That means he is a member of an inter-stellar race whose humanity is in question. His skin is blue and highly radiation resistant. On top of his Nebulon qualities, he is a Psion Trans-muter who can mentally alter molecules, sometimes even fusing simple atoms into more complex ones. He is also very inventive. He can change a simple computer into a mini-attack-bot, a computer into a video game machine, or a vehicle into video game machine… well, he’s a teenager, so virtually anything can become a video game machine. He laughs easily, even at things that aren’t funny, and doesn’t mind when others call him a Space Smurf, because he doesn’t know what that means. Billy Iowa is his best friend and fellow survivor. If Gyro’s family hadn’t rescued Billy from Scondian captivity, he would’ve remained on Pan Galactica as a laboratory test subject. Unlike many of the Pan Galactican Space Cowboys, he is not prejudiced against Nebulons. In fact, as an orphan, he looks at them more as family than as an inferior race. His Psion power is Clairvoyance, allowing him to see times and places where he is not present, even to the extent that he can accurately predict the future. He’s a better karate and kung fu student than Gyro, but as student ninjas go, all the rest of his dojo can beat the crap out of him. So, these two Space Cowboys, both boys, provide a lot of the comedy relief in the Aero Dojo. They are of course, not nearly as dangerous as the girls are, but don’t insult them never-the-less. Billy can tell you how you will die, and Gyro will make unbelievably corny jokes about it.
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Mark Twain
Mark Twain, real name Samuel Clemens, is my hero. He lived a long and difficult life, but he lived it with grace and humor… most of the time…well, some of the time. I would very much like to be just like him… ‘cept I ain’t dead yet and have no plans on that score… but I would like to also be like him in having something important to say that can be said to somebody who isn’t even born yet, a hundred years or more from now, the way that Mark Twain spoke to me.
Taffy King, Deadly Mutant Teenage Lizard-Girl Ninja From Outer Space
I told you about Mai Ling the other day. This is her classmate, her BFF, and her fellow student ninja from the planet Gaijin in the 53rd Century. Unlike Mai, Taffy is royalty. She is a former princess of the planet Mingo, her family being supplanted and exiled by the Nefarious Emperor Mong. Like all Mingoans, she is a member of the Fusion Race. They are people scientifically engineered to be half Earth human and half Galtorrian reptilian humanoid. She has lovely green eyes, vertically slitted, with the look of a cobra about them. She is just as deadly as her eyes make her seem. Her Psion power is basically telekinesis, the same as Mai Ling’s power, but she uses it in a very different fashion. Taffy likes to move and manipulate tiny objects in mass. She shapes things out of sand, water droplets, smoke, living wasps, or bees. She can trap you withing a sarcophagus made of sand with no breathing holes. She can dress you in a suit of stinging wasps. On top of that, she has ninja skills that allow her to slice and dice you with blades or even kill you with her bare hands. She’s not actually vain, but you should never tell her that her hair is mussed or that her clothing isn’t perfectly in style. She has killed bozos like us for less.
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