Catch a Falling Star

Dr. Faustus is a nudist. But that morning he was wearing clothes, standing at the stove frying eggs sunnyside up in one pan, bacon strips in another, and hash browns in the third. I was sitting at the table, the sunshine streaming in through the glass sliding door to his backyard and warming me, lighting up the red and white checkered tablecloth at the same time.

As the mouthwatering smells filled the kitchen with signals that the food was ready, his grandson came barreling through the sliding door. Naked nine-year-old boys are normally kind of gross and horrible, but this kid was an exception to the rule. He was charming and beautifully attractive as a sweet, innocent child—a grandchild that I did not have myself, and I felt slightly jealous of the good doctor because of him.

“Smells good, Grandpa,” said Timothy. “Hi, Uncle Mickey. How come you guys aren’t naked?”

“Hello, Tim,” I said sheepishly.

“Mr. Beyer isn’t going to be here for a long time. And I don’t want to get burned by frying grease. Grab a plate and come here.”

Tim grabbed two plates and brought them to the stove.

“One egg, two bacon strips, and one spatula full of hash browns, Mike?”

“That’ll fit into my diabetic diet. Thanks.”

The good doctor plopped the food on the first plate and Tim brought it to me. Then Tim got his own plate filled and dashed out to the backyard again to eat in the sunshine.

“You’ve got a good one there, Erasmus. If you ever want to get rid of him… well…”

He brought his own plate to the table and sat down across from me. “You know, you could have everything you wanted in life if only you were willing to do what I did.”

“Sell my soul to the Devil, you mean?”

“Well, that’s one way to put it. But I mean focussing on your goals and reducing them to the few things you really want out of life. You basically work very hard to give everything you have away and spend all your time on benefitting others. You don’t keep things for yourself. You don’t build wealth for yourself. Being a teacher is a good example. You gave little pieces of yourself away to every kid. And for what? Most of them probably don’t remember a single thing you taught them. Just think of all the good you could do for yourself if you kept all of that for yourself.”

“Well, I don’t know…”

“For instance, the grandchild question. You told me that you tragically lost your first chance at a grandchild. Something most of your family doesn’t even know. And you also indicated how little your wife cares about anything but your money. As a teacher, you don’t have much of that to care about. What if you left her and found another woman who already has children and grandchildren. There are a lot of them out there looking for someone like you to complete them. You could remarry into a new family with grandchildren already a part of it all. Then you might have one to spend the day with just like me. It only takes putting your own wants and needs first.”

“I have a family. And it is not in my nature to try again before the first one has totally failed. My three kids love me. Sometimes my wife does too.”

“But people like you and I have a deeper understanding of the world. We know things that other people don’t know. We have the power to manipulate things. We can control things. We can take power.”

“The only power I have ever wanted is the power to help others.”

“That’s my point. You need to use that power to take things for your own benefit. Think of your little novel-writing business. You are a much better storyteller than you get credit for. You could, with the right amount of focused effort, actually make yourself rich and famous.”

“Not without spending money I don’t have. Not without a miracle.”

“You could very easily do it by spending other people’s money. How do you think billionaires do it? Use your God-given talents to make people invest in you.”

“We’re talking about Devil-given powers, aren’t we?”

“The self-sacrificing thing you rely on will be the end of you.”

“Yes. It probably will. I have lived in the darkness of suicidal self-hatred. I never want to go back there. As it is, if I die today, I will die happy with myself. I have done a hard job for a career and done it to the best of my ability. I have told a few good stories. I mean stories that I am satisfied with, my best work. And my family may not always treat me very well, but what matters more is how I treat them. I will not be burying any chicken bones at a crossroads. I will not sign away my soul to the Devil.”

He laughed. His eggs and bacon were excellent. I wondered what he got out of his deal. But I also knew he was joking as much as I was.

Dr. Faustus is a nudist. But he was wearing clothes that day. And he was also an entirely fictional character. So, don’t worry about him making deals with the Devil.