
It has been a year that assaults everything I stand for and everything I value. A new government came in despite my wishes, my vote, and my best efforts. They instituted attacks on most of the things I care about.

Betsy DeVos became Secretary of Education despite being totally incompetent and not qualified for the job. I define myself as a teacher, even though I have been forced to retire by poor health. I value public education. President Pumpkinhead put the pinhead in charge of education to shift public money from public education to private school systems so that the benefits go only to the wealthy. I am ready to fight. I believe the battle is worth fighting for, and if we lose, we may never regain what we are now losing.

But on a brighter note, I could lose our family home in 2018. The city forced me to remove the pool. I couldn’t get it repaired to their specifications, even though I came close and exhausted myself in the process. I spent all my money on the debacle in order to avoid a tax lien that would’ve eventually caused us to lose the house. I filed for bankruptcy. I am struggling now to pay this year’s property and school taxes. The school tax has gone up due to the State cutting funding again to public schools. Texas appears to have to try the Kansas experiment for itself. And I get shafted in the meantime.
My publisher, the one I was counting on to publish my best work, died a gruesome financial death, leaving me with lots of worried writer friends, a lot of manuscripts, and only myself to be relied on to get them published. I started doing so on Amazon, basically for free. I am now headed for complete self-published status.

I did complete one final journey with a vanity press to get Magical Miss Morgan published. I hope to make some progress with that too, though I have no confidence left in any publishing company. They are all a dying, greed-wracked industry intent only on exploiting people who are authors and people who think they can be.

I had a nudist adventure this summer, actually going to a nudist park as a nudist for the first time in my life. So, in a way, I guess I have come out of the closet as a nudist. Though I am still basically a closet nudist. One day in the sun does not a social nudist make. I am prepared, however, to face life as a homeless, penniless person. My clothing budget should prove affordable.

I have faced a lot of losses in 2017. I have faced unfortunate reversals of fortune. But the one thing that remains constant and true, is that humor can help you through anything. As long as I can still laugh about it, then it will be okay. The world is not a place of tragedy. It is a place of comedy. And sometimes the clowns fall down. But we don’t laugh at them because they fell. We laugh when we see them getting up again. And even harder when we see them doing the double-take at the banana peel that got them.


















Uber New Year
Who knew that being an Uber driver required the skills of a swashbuckling hero?
But that is exactly what it is. I am approaching the end of my first $100 dollar week. And I have already been on a harrowing ride through the world of ride-sharing for money.
The key to successfully picking up and ferrying passengers to the site of their choosing is a matter of being personable and at ease with driving and talking. Of course, I have talking skills. My whole 31 year career was a matter of learning to effectively talk to kids all day long. And you may not believe this, but adults, people who actually have money and the freedom to choose their own path, are easier to talk to than kids. I have learned about people’s families, people’s jobs, opinions of their bosses, opinions of the government and taxes, and even some tell me about their love lives, both directly, and second hand. If there are two in the car, then they forget that the driver has ears and can hear (within the limitations of really old ears).
One recent passenger was absolutely convinced that no Uber driver actually knows how to drive. That passenger sat in the back seat and sent a barrage of traffic warnings and worries forward for me to deal with at the same time I was watching the road ahead. It was almost exactly as harrowing as driving with my wife as a passenger. I felt like a child again, driving for the meanest teacher I ever had growing up. (Sorry, Ms. Rubelmacher, I learned a lot from you. Don’t give me detention for writing that.)
But why did I say “Swashbuckling hero” if I am only going to talk about talking to passengers? And why all the Batman gifs?
Well, I am talking about driving in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex, ain’t I? Do you know what Texas drivers are like? On Saturday I picked up a coach headed for a retirement party at a Luby’s on the border of DeSoto (a southwest Dallas suburb. That was a twenty-two dollar trip from east-central Dallas catty-cornered all the way across the city in a diagonal direction on the tollway and then I-35 South. I had three cars cut me off for driving too slow (by which I mean the speed limit. Hey, Uber monitors that through their app.) The Uber Navigator told me to keep right at a time when keeping right nearly threw me off 35 onto an intersecting highway, so I had to make a quick two-wheeled Starsky and Hutch turn through the corner of the median to stay on course. (Fortunately, Uber can’t monitor that.) Dallas drivers are a combination of speedy predators in WASP rockets, Texas killer grandmas in Cadillacs, and Elmer Fudds going too slow in classic cars from the 50’s. They provide you with a booby-trapped obstacle course to drive through, and go so fast that the speed limit becomes dangerously too slow.
So I definitely appreciate Batman for providing me with all the animated illustrations to use for portraying the high-risk life of an Uber driver. It makes driving this way easier to pretend that I am one half of the dynamic duo driving the Batmobile in Dallas downtown traffic. Yes, it’s true, I am saying I pretend to be Batman.
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Filed under angry rant, commentary, feeling sorry for myself, heroes, humor, irony, self pity, strange and wonderful ideas about life
Tagged as Batman, Uber driving