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Stardusters… Canto 39

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Canto Thirty-Nine – The Bio-Dome’s Crew Quarters

Since Brekka had nearly gotten killed by a maniac sentient flower with hidden teeth, Brekka, Menolly, and George Jetson had not been apart by more than a few feet.  In fact, George and Menolly had spent an uncomfortably long time attached at the lips.

George finally pulled away from Menolly’s mouth to breathe.

“Oh, Brekka,” gasped Menolly, “we are so glad you didn’t die.  Life would never be the same again if I didn’t have you to dance with.”

Brekka crossed her arms and frowned at Menolly.  “What exactly are you and George doing exchanging spit like that?  I thought the two of you were never going to talk to me again.”

“You remember the kissing thing from Earther television?” asked George.

“Yes…” said Brekka cautiously, “like when Gilligan kissed Mary Ann that time to convince the surfer guy that they were boyfriend and girlfriend so he would surf back to Hawaii?  And she said he had skinny lips?”

“Um… yeah… that works,” said George.  “We discovered it makes you feel really, really good to kiss somebody like that.  Want to try it?”

Brekka pursed her lips for a moment and mulled it over.  “Okay.”

Without warning, she leaned over and kissed Menolly right on the mouth.  She tried to make it last like she had seen Menolly do with George… but… it was kinda yucky.

“I don’t really see what’s so great about it.”

“I dunno,” said Menolly.  “I thought it was kinda good.  Brekka is almost as good a kisser as George.”

“But,” said George, “maybe you would consider making some Telleron tadpole eggs with me… huh, Menolly?”

“Oh, you stupid-head…” said Brekka.  “We three are nest-mates.  That means we have the same mother and father… probably.  You know what in-breeding is?”

“We were programmed with that information in the egg, Brekka,” said Menolly.

“Well, you know… it might be the thing that makes Tellerons so stupid and incompetent… in spite of all the knowledge and skills programmed into us while we are in the egg.”

“Yeah,” said George, “you’re probably right.  But when I kissed Menolly that first time, it made me feel so strange in my stomach.  Isn’t it possible the feelings of the stomach are more powerful than the thoughts in the head?”

“I think in that episode of Gilligan’s Island it was the heart that love came from, not the stomach,” said Menolly.

“Well, my heart seems to be in my stomach,” said George, “really low down, too.  And it’s telling me to make tadpoles with the two of you.  We almost lost Brekka to that plant thing.  I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“You know that we are still too young for egg-laying, George,” said Brekka.  “Our ovipositors are not fully formed yet.”

“Yeah… but we could practice…”

Brekka was furious.  Why were male tadpoles so… so…?  Yeah, that.

*****

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The Daily Post

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Yes I will continue to coddiwomple for a while.  On my birthday in November of 2014 after retiring in May, I decided I would do a blog post every single day for at least a year.  Now, two years and four months later, I am still posting every single day.  I think that I shall continue for a while because there are real benefits to doing so.

  • It keeps my seriously old and worn-out brain active, chugging along even though it is held together with mental duct tape.
  • It challenges my ability to come up with new ideas.  I admit, sometimes I set down to write a post with nothing in my head but random snippets of music and empty space.  Yet, I have managed to increasingly create bizarre and exotic thought-artifacts at an increasingly volatile pace.  Perhaps soon the ideas reach critical mass and my writing goes boom like  a series of fireworks.
  • It has increased my visibility on WordPress and the reach of my writing through social media.
  • It has taught me how much I hate Twitter.  People tweeting in a rage at each other makes the world a birdhouse full of angry birds.
  • It has also taught me to edit carefully and quickly because my writing time is theoretically limited, as is my target word-count.
  • And I have learned that some days I need to do a simple and easy post like this to give my mind-muscles a chance to rest and grow.

So I will continue to post on WordPress, putting up pusillanimous Paffoonies to treat and entertain you.  (Yes, I know that “pusillanimous” means timid.  But the root words mean “small mind”, and my mind is nothing if not small.  And I also needed a multi-syllabic p-word to make the alliteration sound funnier.)

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Have You Seen What Akon Is Up To?

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Yes, it’s true.  There is good news still happening in Donald Trump’s END OF THE WORLD TIMES.  Here is the link to the rap star’s efforts to power Africa with solar energy.

CLICK HERE for Akon

Believe me, there are still good things in the world worth knowing about.

 

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Marching Ever Onward

new-kid

I am still fighting diabetes wars and barely holding my own.  So rather than write through headaches, I am posting this today to keep my string of every-day posts going after two years and two months of posting every single day.  I need time to rest and regenerate thinking ability.  So here’s an old picture that like re-posting.  I like to think of myself as being the drummer boy in the lead of the march, but in reality, I am probably one of the wooden-heads plodding onward.

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Stardusters… Canto 32

galtorr-primex-1

Canto Thirty-Two – In the Main Flower Garden of the Bio-Dome

There were three large red-and-yellow blossoms on robust stalks in the center of the garden.  Everything else was either withering and brown or completely dead.  George Jetson felt slightly creeped out by the three giant, healthy plants in the center of so much death and rot.  Still, he didn’t object as Brekka and Menolly danced and sang as they moved towards the bright colors of the three blossoms.

“Georgie?  Why aren’t you dancing with us?” sang Brekka.

“Yeah, why not?” added Menolly.

“I don’t need to dance with goofy girls right now.  I… I’m supposed to guard you and keep bad things from happening.”

The girl tadpoles scoffed and continued to dance towards the blossoms.

George watched the leaves of the flowers, easily the size of dinner plates, begin to twitch and move.  It was almost as if they were trying to detect something either by feel, maybe of vibrations in the air, or possibly by smell.  George knew from his educational programming that leaves had openings called “stoma” that sniffed the air as they breathed carbon dioxide in and oxygen out.  It wasn’t an important fact, was it?

Suddenly there was a large, burly lizard man bursting in through the far door into the flower garden.  He was completely naked, for reasons unknown.  He was also obviously a scabby with the tell-tale white, filmy eyes and desiccated patches on his naked scales.

“George!  Help!” cried Brekka.  She had danced so far towards the three live flowers that the interrupting scabby had her cut off from Menolly and George.  George leaped forward to engage the monster in hand-to-hand combat, but pulled up short when he noticed the huge teeth and long, scimitar-like claws on both hands.

“Brekka!  Run away!  We will catch up to you on the other side!” screamed George.  “Menolly!  Come here to me!”

Brekka broke toward the flowers and ran.  The scabby followed her.  Menolly reached George and threw both of her green arms around his neck, making him unable to either flee or fight.  Both of them watched the pursuit of Brekka with absolute horror.

The largest of the three blossoms moved its huge flower-face closer to the fleeing Brekka.  The four main petals of the blossom formed into two sets of opposing jaws.  As Brekka moved close enough, the blossom engulfed her entire body and lifted her into the air.  Her screams were muffled by the blossom that seemed much more like a gigantic mouth.

“Oh!  No!  Brekka is gone!” cried Menolly, sagging against George Jetson.

“It ate her!”  George was too stunned to move.

The flowers were still in motion.  The two remaining blossoms grabbed the scabby, one seizing its head, and the other grabbing a leg.  The two blossoms pulled in opposite directions, splitting the unfortunate lizard man in two, then settling down to munch contentedly and smack their petal-lips.

Menolly was devastated and sobbing uncontrollably.  George didn’t know an awful lot about the hugging and kissing stuff that Earth humans did on their television shows, but he felt the urge to try.  He held Menolly tightly with both arms and pressed his mouth to hers.

“Mmmph!  What are you doing?” Menolly moaned.

“I’m comforting you, dummy.”

“Well, don’t stop!”

When the blossom that had engulfed Brekka began making retching noises, George was almost too lost in the entire kissing thing to respond.  He felt rather funny in his lower stomach as the two tadpoles pulled apart.

The blossom vomited Brekka onto the walkway.  She was clearly still alive, but covered with sticky-looking goo.

“Ooh,” moaned Brekka, “that was not very fun.”

*****

My Art

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First Snowfall 2017

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Snow for the first time this winter was a great big “Mehhh!”  It was cold, but by Iowa standards for winter weather, it was a mosquito-bite sized weather event.  That, of course, is not how everyone sees it.

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He posted this selfie for the people back home on Facebook.

My eighteen-year-old nephew grew up in Saipan to Filipino parents.  He has never seen snow before.  Much like my wife’s first experience of snow twenty years ago, a little bit of snow was a very big deal.

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Gingerbread House 2016

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You may recall that as a family project my children and I committed harrowing acts of gingerbread construction last holiday season, creating the quaint little hovel seen above, a domicile that both Hansel and Gretel would obviously love… to eat.

And then gravity promptly destroyed it within minutes after the pictures were taken.

Demonstrating our annual inability to learn from our mistakes, we did it again this year.  This time with a little less frosting and sugar, to save my diabetes from the consequences of my lack of self control  After all, if the gingerbread house falls down, you have to eat it, right?

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So I started with a cheaper kit with far less added sugar froo-froos.  Less temptation to eat the extras while working, don’t ya know.

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The Princess and I used butter knives to cut grooves in the end pieces, thinking in our own smug little way, “I bet that will help keep the thing from falling down before we get a decent chance to play with it and take pictures.”

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Then we set about decorating the pieces.

And as we put it together, I thought of one more creatively goofy trick in a vain attempt to hold the roof on.  After all, we had completely forgotten to put notches in the roof pieces before weighing them down with icing and gumdrops.  Voila!  Crosspieces made with uncooked fettuccine noodles!

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See the noodles?  Notice how they transfer weight stress directly onto the load-bearing walls?

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And before you could say, “This is a wonderful little house for a witch to live in, one who eats children!” and make Hansel wet his pants, we had a frosted gingerbread house.

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And then we began to wonder why the little witch house was so angry-looking.  We found out in about half an hour, the time it took this one to fall down and get eaten.

 

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Influenza

fools

I am now on the recovery end of a six-day bout of flu that came to me as a Christmas gift.  Of course, as an aging diabetic, any encounter with flu is a brush with death.  And of course, it is not really over yet.  I still have to struggle to prevent pneumonia from setting in.  And diabetes can cause depression.  Especially since I have spent a majority of the holiday alone in bed while missing out on the time my number one son has been home for a visit on leave.  My other two children have both been sick too.  Isolation is not a helpful thing during times of illness.  We have to have our family and community in the real world to keep us alive and looking forward.  While I am glad that my son at least had his mother healthy to spend time with, and old friends from school, I mourn for me.  YouTube videos are not enough.  Though there are good ones out there like this one I found while writing this.

Hank and John Green need to be a part of everyone’s community, so I suggest you subscribe to Vlogbrothers on YouTube.  But he makes a very good point.  The internet is a good thing and making people more independent, but it is also eroding our real-world community.  Being retired from my teaching job should not mean I am cut off from the world.  But it does.  I may have to be nothing more than a cyber-person for a while until I can muster enough energy and wellness to burst out of the ground I am buried in and bloom once more in the sunshine.

Does that sound maudlin and depressed to you?  I have already pretty much decided that I believe that Earth is a doomed planet and humanity will soon be guilty of its own extinction.  I am not a born-again Christian looking forward hopefully to Armageddon.  But I do believe human life and all life on Earth has not been a wasted effort on God’s part.  We have added value to the universe.  I can put a wry, happy spin on almost any gloomy thought.  And in many ways, life is a great cartoon show.

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When I had the flu as a kid, it meant getting to stay home and watch morning cartoon shows and eat lots of tomato soup with cheese sandwiches.

Yes, not just a cartoon show.  Life is actually an act of epic poetry.  Distilled and fermented and highly potent metaphor and meaning.  It is the reason God didn’t send the four horsemen and the angel of death a little sooner.  And who knows?  Maybe He is not actually done with us yet.  Maybe we will live for another year, and I will get healthier, and more breakthroughs will be made, and…

I am a hopeful pessimist.  The end may come tomorrow.  But likely it won’t.  And I still have more to say to this goofy old world…  But I think that is enough for today.

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Simple Christmas Gifs

No, that is not a typo.  I only meant “gifts” in pun form.  Sometimes you don’t feel much like talking and, after all, the “picture can be worth a thousand words”, especially if the picture moves.

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As you can see, I am spending the day with the Ghost of Christmases Past.  Have a wonderful holiday, however you may celebrate it.  I will offer more goofy stuff by Mickey after the Ghost of Christmases Future gets done with me.

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A $3.00 Treasure Trove

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If you cruise the bargain sections in an old used book store like Half-Price Books, eventually you are going to find something priceless.  This book I am showing you is that very thing for me.

It was copyrighted in 1978.  The inscription inside the front cover says this was a Father’s Day gift on June 19th, 1988.  Someone named Gary gifted it to someone named Claude in Burleson, Texas.  It was probably a cherished book until someone passed away and the book changed hands in an estate sale.

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Howard Pyle

The book chronicles the height of the publishing era when being able to print books and reproduce artworks began entertaining the masses.  Always before painters and great artists worked for a patron for the purpose of decorating their home in a way that displayed their great wealth.  But from the 1880’s to the rise of cinema, magazines and books kept the masses entertained, helped more people to become literate than ever before, and created the stories that made our shared culture and life experiences grow stronger and ever more inventive.  The book focuses on the best of the best among a new breed of artist… the illustrators.

These are the ones the book details;

Howard Pyle, N.C. Wyeth, Frederick Remington, Maxfield Parrish, J.C. Leyendecker, Norman Rockwell, Charles Dana Gibson, Howard Chandler Christy, James Montgomery Flagg, and John Held Jr.

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N.C. Wyeth

Wyeth was most famous as a book illustrator for Treasure Island, Kidnapped, other books by Robert Louis Stevenson, Mark Twain,  and a famous volume of tales about Robin Hood.

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Frederick Remington

Remington is a name you probably know as a maker of Western art.  He was a famous painter of cowboys and Indians and the American frontier.

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Maxfield Parrish

Maxfield Parrish is my all-time favorite painter.  His work is something I gushed about in previous posts because I own other books about his fanciful works painted in Maxfield Parrish blue.

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Also Maxfield Parrish

 

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J.C. Leyendecker

You will probably recognize Leyendecker’s work in magazine and advertising illustration as the standard of the Roaring 20’s.  His paintings set a style that swept American culture for more than a decade, and still affects how we dress to this very day.

 

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More Leyendecker

 

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Even more from Leyendecker

 

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Norman Rockwell

Norman Rockwell and his work for The Saturday Evening Post is still familiar to practically everyone who reads and looks at the illustrations.  As you can see he was a master of folksy realism and could do a portrait better than practically anyone.

 

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Also Rockwell

I have also written about Norman Rockwell before too.  I have half a dozen books that include his works.  My wife is from the Philippines and she knew about him before I ever said a word to her about him.

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Charles Dana Gibson

As you can plainly see, Gibson was a master of pen and ink.  His work for Collier’s and other magazines thrills in simple black and white.  More cartoonists than just little ol’ me obsess about how he did what he did.

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Also Gibson

 

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James Montgomery Flagg… with a name like that, who else could it be?

 

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John Held Jr.

The work of Held is stylistically different than all the rest in easily noticeable ways.  He’s the guy that made all the big-headed Pinocchio-looking people in the 1920’s.  You may have seen his work before, though you probably never knew his name.

This bit of someone else’s treasure hoard will now become a part of my own dragon’s treasure, staying by my bedside for quite a while, while I continue to suck the marrow from each of its bones.  I love this book.  It is mine, and you can’t have it… unless you find your own copy in a used bookstore somewhere.

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