Category Archives: surrealism

More Nuts n’ Bolts… This Time Mostly Bolts

Okay, this is another filler piece to allow me to post every day of 2015.  But it does give me a chance to write down a few things I have been thinking about…  And I do realize allowing me to think nowadays is a completely risky proposition.  But when you talk about Nuts and Bolts, you are talking about how things are put together.  The nut keeps the attachment from sliding apart and failing to do its job, but the real work of bonding things together is done by the bolt.  So, to keep mangling the metaphor until it is either as tightly bolted as it will go, or it bursts from the torque and stress, let me talk about some bolts in my cartooning endeavors.

pie-ricks

This most recent pen and ink Paffooney is a cartoon panel about Pirates from the imaginary dream world of Fantastica.  In the cartoon environment I am working on now, Pirates take your gold and valuables basically by being bankers and compounding your interest…  mostly by compounding really, really hard… like with hammers and heavy swords.   So here is one of the bolts holding my posts together.   I am financially troubled right now (right now meaning the last twenty years) by trouble with credit card debt and banks.  I fight that kind of trouble with swords of satire.  You find me complaining a lot about this particular topic by mostly metaphorical means.

And that leads to another bolt that is a common rivet in the girders of my purple paisley prose.  I use metaphors and drawings in a way that can be characterized by the artistic term (or is that autistic term?) surrealism.  Yes, I am an out-of-the-closet surrealist like Salvador Dali, Juan Miro, and Rene Magritte.  I would like to argue that I am also a surrealist in the manner of Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes, Charles Schultz, creator of Peanuts, and Dan Piraro, creator of Bizzaro, but cartoonists in general don’t tend to be out of the closet, willing to admit that they juxtapose disjointed images with realist elements in them to make a comic point or raise an emotional response.  That is something most cartoonists are unwilling to let their parents understand about them… that, or they simply don’t know what big words like juxtapose mean… because cartoonist are generally unwilling to look things up in the dictionary.  I hope this paragraph doesn’t make your brain hurt.  But if it does… well, that’s why most of us surrealists try really hard to keep it secret and end up living a double life.

I think you can also tell by today’s post that I need to revisit this idea of examining bolts.  I am swiftly coming to the end of today’s 500 words, and I have only covered two working bolts.  What kind of structure can stand up to high winds with only two bolts in the entire thing?  But hopefully it won’t all suddenly collapse before I have a chance to come back and place a few more bolts.  And on that note, I am at 514.

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Filed under humor, Paffooney, surrealism

Architecture for Clowns

Try not to be upset with me for drawing a naked lady. You see, she is not really a lady, she is a caryatid, a stone pillar for holding up a building.  Besides, I have been recently very ill, and drawing naked ladies makes me happy, even though it is a sin and means I will probably burn in hell.  I am a hopeless sinner in this regard.  I got kicked off Pinterest for liking an oil painting of a naked lady.  I think it was a painting by William Adolphe Bouguereau.  How could I be so terrible?  You should check out my post about his sinful, horrible paintings so you can see how terrible I am for yourself. (Bouguereau)  carytidOf course, This post is not about naked ladies at all, so why am I fuming and ranting and telling all my darkest secrets about that?

This post is about architecture, about giving structure to things, about holding things together and holding things up.  Is it clever that I drew this picture of an ornate pillar and placed it in this post so it looks like it is standing on later paragraphs and holding up the introduction?  I find weird surrealist things like that help me write stuff that makes a few people laugh.  It helps me because I can focus on nonsensical side-stuff like that (mixed up with obscure puns and alliterations like “pillar” and “placed” that, when cooked together with goofy rhythms in over-long sentences end up sounding funnier than they really are), and then I can say stuff that is actually funny because I don’t realize how wrong, or weird, or silly some of these words I am futzing it all up with truly are.  (And I am amazed that the Pinterest police haven’t come and kicked me off WordPress for using a word like “futzing”, even though they don’t know what it means.  Heck, even the spell-checker didn’t object to the word!)

But someone like me who is trying to be funny needs structure more than anyone else you can think of.  Why?  Because the sad-clown-crying-on-the-inside is so very true.  The dark dips of depression… pain, illness, and more pain… family stress from others in my family who also suffer…  That’s what makes the laughing so very necessary.  You need the lighter stuff to fill up the room (somewhat like a really big fart) because you depend on the sheer buoyancy of it to lift the entire house up and keep it from sinking to the very center of the earth.  (And the stink of it can also help keep you awake when otherwise you might never get out of bed again)… (But please don’t light any matches around my house.)

So, in conclusion, this stuff I write does have basic structures, basic rules.  It has a beginning, a middle, and an end.  It has a theme, a point that needs to be made,  And then it needs to end with some kind of a kicker line or punch line… because when that finally hits me square in the face (like a pie thrown by a pie-whacker clown), it helps me remember… I am still alive, and I can still laugh about it.

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Filed under humor, Paffooney, surrealism