
A taxonomy of different living beasts in our world is an important thing to keep up with. Because they are constantly evolving, due to processes of evolution (Stop hitting me with that old family Bible, Reverend Winchuck! It is still legal, for now, to say that word), you have to constantly change and refine your understanding of beasts and their relationships to one another. So here I am trying talk about “Why liberals and conservatives are completely different species!”
When I look at a group of people, a crowd, a… what do you call a flock of people? An idiocy perhaps? They all look the same to me. To tell which species they are, I have to hear them talk. So I selected a couple of notable interviewees to explain what the differences really are.

Bull Blindersly, head of the Bullish for Trump and Trumpkins Committee
The conservative I will use to represent conservatives is Bull Blindersly, who I noticed briefly had a Make America Great Again red hat on until the wind took it off his flat head. I’ll let him tell you the difference in his own words.
“It’s easy to spot a libtard. They have pointy little nerd heads full of stupid ideas based on statistics and encyclopedia facts and other such brainiac junk that clogs up your head. They don’t have the common sense they were born with because they spend all their time reading and thinking and other stuff that just gets in the way. There is a simple solution for everything in life. The economy is healthy and grows if you give tax breaks to rich folks and job creators. They will spend that money they have earned to improve things for everyone. You don’t fix problems by dancing around giving away my hard-earned tax dollars to folks who don’t work hard enough. Those people are just tempted to become blood-sucking parasites for life when you do that. We need to build a wall around Animal Town to keep more of those kinds of people out.”

Phillip “Flip” Moosewinkle. ACLU lawyer and Dal Mation, independent media journalist
I talked to Flip Moosewinkle and his friend Dal Mation because they were protesting in front of city hall with “Not My President!” signs and other signs that indicated they were liberals because everything was spelled and punctuated correctly.
Flip; “I think conservatives talk without thinking first most of the time.”
Dal; “You have to be careful about making blanket statements like that, though. It is not backed up by any studies I can find with Google on my i-phone. And we want to be fair and considerate when making statements about our opponents.”
Flip; “Yes, that’s quite correct. But a shoot-from-the-hip style of discourse is still common among those we argue politics with. They’ll accuse us of trying to take away their rights to own guns and won’t even listen when we try to shift the conversation towards gun safety and responsible ownership. They mostly agree with our positions when it comes right down to it, but they rarely listen to our point of view. They would rather call us names and chant slogans.”
Dal; “True, but you have to admit they do tend to win arguments that way in public forums. Maybe we should try some of their tactics, and try to be more forceful in making our case the way they are.”
Flip; “Do you really want to sink to their level? Then we’d be no better than they are.”
Dal; “But isn’t that the point we are trying to make? Aren’t we all the same and no one is better than anyone else? Aren’t we trying to be fair and loving to all?”

Doofy Fuddbugg here is an example of what a “Nolt” is.
Of course, it is at this point in the consideration of the topic that I reach the inevitable conclusion that I am dealing with two different categories of animal here. One side is patently unfair, and the other is marginalized and ineffectual. One side is often predatory, while the other is routinely prey.
What do I do about it? The conservative side has purged themselves of all compromisers, liberal-leaners, and RINO’s (Republican In Name Only, not rhinoceroses). The liberal side never wins. (Yes, I know Obama was president, but look how easily he was erased from the public conversation when his term ended.) There is no place for moderates any more. To be moderate is to be isolated and headed for species extinction. So I am a liberal now, hoping the side that is in power at the moment won’t pass a law against my continued existence. And trying exceptionally hard to fit in with other members of my same species.


























You may not be able to rescue other people’s minds from being stupid. But what you can do and be artful about is… make them laugh.







Could Trump Actually Be Good For Liberals?
Yes, I did wash my mouth out with soap after saying that title out loud. But I can’t help thinking such strange thoughts. It is probably because Trump’s healthcare plans already have me off my meds.
I hear you screaming at your WordPress Reader saying, “How can you possibly be thinking such un-Democratic and really dumb thoughts?”
Well, if you think about it… I mean, hit your head three times near the reasoning center of the brain with a really hard rock… some of the greatest things that have happened to mankind have come from the very worst things that ever happened.
Because of World War Two and Hitler, we ended up inventing computers, and we ended up with a space program because beating Hitler gave us Werner Von Braun and some of the best rocket science minds in Germany. Because LBJ felt guilty about helping the CIA murder Kennedy he enacted the Great Society and Civil Rights reforms that make up the best of Kennedy’s legacy. (What? You say that’s crazy conspiracy theory? Well, I have been hitting my own head with a rock.) In fact, the combination of Hitler and Kennedy’s assassination put men on the moon.
Yes, humanity needs really bad times to happen to force them to make changes for the better. And Trump is really bad times. He takes food away from school children and old home-bound people so he can play more golf at Mar-a-Lago on the taxpayers’ dime. (Well, actually, it costs significantly more than a dime.) He puts coal plant waste into rivers and the drinking water of millions. He cuts regulations so corporate polluters are free to pour more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and keep us all so toasty warm with global warming that our faces will eventually melt. (And can you imagine what beauty pageants will be like when the contestants no longer have faces? Mr. Trump will no longer even be anxious to make those un-announced tours of the dressing rooms.)
The only choice we will have for survival if we are not Walmart heirs or Koch brothers is to fight back and correct the situation. It is possible that enough people will wake up to the whole Trump trauma to take back the House of Representatives in 2018. Then the investigations can really begin. Trump is waking up a sleeping giant. The public is ready to start fighting back. Bill Nye the Science Guy is ready to throw some punches for science.
Things that are necessary are never easy. It is by making too many easy choices that we got ourselves into this mess. There is a lot of stupidity and incompetence and badness out there to overcome now. And we must face it or it will kill us.
And it may be a good thing that Trump won the election. Hillary would’ve been a competent president and nothing would really have changed about the status quo. We would’ve continued to complacently allow Republicans to run the House and Senate and oppose even the most mild and wishy-washy things that President Hillary would’ve tried to get done. Now, the Trump backlash may propel us onward towards actual solutions to very real problems like climate change, excessive money in politics, ignorance among the voting public, and income inequality that is tipping us toward a new dark ages and a feudal-technological society.
So the big splash that Trump is sure to make might be a very good thing for liberals who hope to change things for the betterment of a majority of the people.
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