Category Archives: NOVEL WRITING

April 17, 2020 · 6:31 pm

Writing Humor… and Other Oxymorons

Once again I am running a free book promotion. Fools and Their Toys is a comedy YA novel about an autistic man who learns to communicate only through a Zebra sock puppet that he uses in his ventriloquist’s act. But even though there are a lot of comedy moments about this fool, his favorite toy, and his child-friends, it is also a murder mystery as the Teddy Bear Killer continues to prey upon young boys. There are some extremely un-funny things in this tale, a story narrated by the zebra sock puppet through his unique point of view. There are numerous emotional responses I am trying to get beyond mere laughter. Sadness, grief, fear, horror, revulsion, doubt, and bewilderment are all supposed to be represented here. And this story does not unfold in sequential time order, Murray the ventriloquist’s mind does not work like that.

And that is what leads to today’s basic topic; What does it mean to claim you are a humor writer?

I have also just completed A Field Guide to Fauns. This is a novel about nudists, so there are a lot of naked people in it. The main character, who is the narrator, is a fifteen-year-old boy who is trying to recover from both a suicide attempt and the loss of the home he grew up in. He comes to live with his father and his stepmother, along with two twin stepsisters in their permanent home within the confines of a nudist park. It is a strange balance of humor, psychological horror, and melancholy.

So, I guess to understand the writing of humorous fiction the way I understand it, you have to accept the notion, “Humorous fiction is not always funny… at least, not on every single page.”

You can find precedent for that in the works of great humorist fiction writers. As funny, quirky, and essentially British as Charles Dickens is, you have to admit, there are pretty dark things happening in some of his greatest books. Oliver Twist has the childish adventures of the Artful Dodger side by side with the murderer Bill Sykes. David Copperfield contains the antics of Wilkins Micawber and the simple Mr. Dick contrasted to the evil of Murdstone, David’s stepfather, and the slimy machinations of Uriah Heep. Even his greatest masterpiece, A Tale of Two Cities, has its clowns like Jerry Cruncher, the grave robber, and Miss Pross. the governess/pugilist, and its villains like the Marquis de Evremondes, the heartless aristocrat, and Madame DeFarge, the even more heartless revolutionary.

The illustration above was the last bit of revision and editing added to A Field Guide to Fauns. It is now ready to be self-published. My writing time today, after posting this, will be devoted to publishing this book. So, soon you will be able to see what I mean about humor having its dark side.

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April 14, 2020 · 2:17 pm

AeroQuest 3… Canto 86

Canto 86 – Landing in the Sand (the Blue Thread)

The spaceship known as The Magic Carpet landed gracefully in the desert downport of the planet Djinnistan.  But even as graceful as the landing was, clouds of sand were kicked up in all directions.

“That was a beautiful landing,” Arkin Cloudstalker said to the Black Fly.  She smiled at him.  She was a stunning beauty without the black mask on.

“Thank you, Captain.  You see now why the argument about who flies this ship was pointless?”

“Oh, yes.  In fact, when this is all over, I want to recruit you to fly with the Lady Knights.”

“Ah, you flatter me, Captain.  I am apparently good enough to fly with a troop of space pirates and criminal rim-world scum.”

“You know what I mean,” he said with a laugh, rising from the copilot’s chair on the bridge.

“Captain?”  Lazerstone entered the bridge.  “We seem to be under siege by a hoard of children of your species.”

“Oh?”  Arkin looked out the viewport and down at the monitors.  Child-sized humanoids, both male and female, were everywhere.  Some were placing weather-clamps on the landing gear.  Others were polishing everything they could reach, and with a strange group of what appeared to be robotically animated ladders, there was no surface on the Magic Carpet they couldn’t reach, even if it meant hanging upside down.  Some even seemed to be probing at electrical connections with unidentifiable tools.

“Those are Peris, one of the species of Freaks created and mass-produced on this planet.”  Black Fly seemed unconcerned at what was happening to her ship.

“Do you think they might break something, or do damage?”

“No.  Dr. Bludlust created them with brains more facile than any computer, and much more creative than any human being, even human beings on psychedelics.”

“They are scanning things,” said Lazerstone.  “I hope you have no secrets to conceal.”

“Well, scanners don’t read minds.  And the ship itself has no real secrets at this planet’s tech level anyway.”

“The point is, they must not scan me.  And I can feel some very uncomfortable scanning frequencies already.”

“They can read your mind or something that way, my friend?” Arkin asked.

“No.  But they could disrupt me and cause me to explode with the wrong frequency.”

“How big of an explosion?” asked Black Fly.

“Twenty thousand megatons of thermonuclear energy, depending on how many harmonic stones surround us for my death to activate.”

“That sounds like a potential problem,” Arkin said.

“I have the word of a time knight that such an event will not take place,” Black Fly calmly told them.

Three of the small Peri creatures entered the bridge at that moment.  One was a boyish male, and two were childlike girls.

“Greetings, travelers.  We welcome you to the enchanted planet of Djinnistan.  How may we be of service to you?” said the red-haired girl Peri.

“Well, to be honest,” said the Black Fly, “We have come to liberate this planet so that it can join the New Star League.”

“Oh, that sounds very ambitious,” said the boy Peri.  “You do realize that you will have to defeat the minions of Dr. Havir Bludlust, right?”

“Yes, and are you sure it is a good idea to tell these natives that we are invading?” Arkin asked Black Fly.

“Oh, of course.  These are not so much natives as they are slaves.  Many of them not happy with how they were created, exploited, and abused.  We will be calling them our army soon enough.”

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April 7, 2020 · 4:09 pm

AeroQuest 3… Canto 85

Canto 85 – Digging In

Outpost was abuzz with activity.  The airless world had only limited defense from attack.  The primary protection had always been the secret of its location.  As an airless world, the surface could easily be lasered or bombarded with no atmosphere to interfere with the destructive force.  Tron had ordered the mirror fields raised, hoping that some laser fire could be reflected back into the surrounding darkness.  He knew, however, that the only hope he had was in his fleet.  If they could somehow destroy enough of Admiral Tang’s fleet to make him feel the losses were no longer worthwhile, then maybe the groundside installations could survive intact.

There were still very talented corsairs able to fly fighting ships.  Elvis the Cruel and Apache Scout were both peerless star warriors.  But Tron had to believe that Admiral Tang had a few potent killers left to his name too.  There was every chance that the situation was hopeless and would end in massacre.

Still, there were a few unknowns on Tron Blastarr’s side.  The crazy alien star ship known as the Megadeath was the most agile killing machine that Tron had ever seen.  The goofball rock-and-roll crew that flew it for Trav Dalgoda was now very adept at handling the alien thing, and Tron had kept them to help in his mad last stand.  They were not smart enough to be scared of the upcoming battle. 

He was able to send his son onward to Ged Aero on the unknown planet Gaijin, where little Artran would be safe and well-cared-for long after Tron and Maggie’s bones littered the airless sands of Outpost.     He had put Artran on the scout ship himself with the somewhat strange courier that had come with the ship from Don’t Go Here.  This Bill the Postman really worried Tron.  The man was not entirely right in the head somehow.

“Boss,” said Hassan the Elf, breaking Tron’s train of thought, “I have made something that I think might be of help.”

Tron looked at the child-like Peri and the invention he was now holding up.  “A suit of armor?”

“Yes, boss.  A special kind of suit of armor.  It is made up of nanites.”

“What?  Nanites?”

“Yes, microscopic robots that share a command pulse and can reform themselves into any sort of armor that might be needed.”

Tron looked quizzically at the bluish suit of nanite armor.  “How do you make it work?” 

“Well… for instance, if you want it to form an anti-grav pack on the back, you just say FLIGHT-PACK.”  The suit rearranged itself at Hassan’s command, and an anti-gravity flight-pack instantly took shape on the back side of the armor’s breastplate.

“Does it have weapons?”

“FUSION-GUN!” said the elf with a grin.  A man-portable fusion generator and its discharge-barrel formed on the pauldron.

“That’s really good, Elf.  That will help.  But one isn’t going to be enough to save us.”

“Oh, that’s the best part,” said the Peri.  “Nanites can replicate themselves from raw metal ore.  Since the planet is mostly metal and crystal, we can set them to making a million copies of themselves in an hour.  You have to specify the number, though.  We wouldn’t want the little buggers transforming the entire planet.”

“Amazing,” sighed Tron.  “If only I had a million commandos to fill them with.”

At that moment Maggie came trotting up to him with a handheld communicator.  “The call is for you,” she said, looking grim.  “Arkin Cloudstalker has found some allies to help us fight.  He says he will visit one more planet and then be on his way to this system.  Admiral Tang is sure to follow.”

“Yes.  Sure to follow,” said Tron automatically, still gazing at the grinning elf and his newest invention.

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April 5, 2020 · 7:21 pm

Critical Steps

Last night I reached the climax of the novel, A Field Guide to Fauns. I pulled the scene off in a way that made me cry and feel like a part of my soul had been pulled out through my nose. But a critical question remains to be answered. Does it matter to the reader as much as it does to me?

The climax occurs after a group of four characters participate in a Chicken Dance, and the critical conflict is resolved by talking about the past.

Devon Martinez as he appears in A Field Guide to Fauns.

Probably not the most cinematic approach I could have used.

But this is not a cinematic story. It is introspective. It grapples with chronic child abuse and suicidal depression. It deals with recovery from a seriously traumatic event. And it is set in a nudist park featuring characters who are trying to rebuild families after divorce.

Can I leave it like it currently is? Knowing me, I probably will. It is an essential sort of story that I need to write because of who I am, who I was before, and where I am trying to be. I don’t write for anybody else but me. But I do hope others will read it. I will, in fact, continue to coerce family members and friends who are not sick of my story-telling (if such rare creatures still exist) to read it and make faces afterwards. And I firmly believe it is well-written, but it is a well-written, introspective and highly metaphorical novel. How many people do I know, after all, that read and enjoy Marcel Proust or William Faulkner or Saul Bellow? (I myself have only read multiple books from two of those three, and that because I can’t read French to get the book in its original language),

Starlord and Spiderman as they appear as blue elves in Onward, the Pixar movie.

Last night I watched what I thought was a marvelous movie on Disney Plus. And the truth is, the gut-punching climax of that movie happens when the main character is reviewing his to-do list while sitting on a rock. So, it is not only me who sometimes soft-peddles the critical steps in a story plot.

In truth, then, the next critical step for me will be to finish the falling action of the novel, carefully re-read and edit the manuscript, and then publish it. The novel will be done soon.

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April 3, 2020 · 8:37 pm

Ramping It Up

Time is probably running out for me. I am too susceptible to this pandemic, and I am living in a Red State where they didn’t take social distancing seriously until Tuesday of this week.

But I have been living one day at a time for six years now. I have already lived longer and written more novels than I ever expected to since the beginning of my health crisis in the year 2000.

Still, I am now adding almost a thousand words a day to one novel or another. With A Field Guide to Fauns, I am currently on page 100 and at about 28,000 words of a planned 35,000. I reached crisis point one of three planned for the plot.

I have to admit that several surprises have added themselves to this story. When a novel comes to life like this one has, it often surprises you with directions you never expected it to take. Hence the family trip to Fiesta Texas and Mandy’s inexplicable love of Selena and dancing the Cumbia.

Just a reminder, if you haven’t been following my sporadic narration of the writing of this novel, the Field Guide is set primarily in a nudist park in Texas, and it is about a boy who is forced to become a nudist, and at the same time confronting the naked truth about himself. This novel will be done before the quarantine is over. Hopefully also before I get sick and die.

I will be ready to take up The Wizard in His Keep soon after it is done.

Plus, I have been working hard on the rewrite of AeroQuest 3 : Juggling Planets.

Juggling Planets now stands at about 20,000 words and 82 pages.

I will try to finish both that and AeroQuest 4 : The Amazing Aero Brothers before I breathe my last. (Though possibly not writing my last. Remember, I plan on getting a job as a ghost writer after I am dead.)

If I have time after all that, I have an idea ready to go for Kingdoms Under the Earth, my graphic novel, Hidden Kingdom, and a rewrite of my ghost story, Monstro.

I am doing my best to write as much as I can before the end.

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March 31, 2020 · 4:14 pm

AeroQuest 3… Canto 84

Canto 84 – The Lords of the Jungle (the Green Thread)

King Killer returned to consciousness in the midst of an elaborately built tree house.  His right arm and shoulder were burning with excruciating pain.  His vision was somewhat blurry, but he could make out two smiling faces looking at him, neither of which was familiar in any way.  The boy was nearly nude, wearing only some kind of fur loin-cover that really wouldn’t have covered anything if he had had anything to cover.  His red hair was wild and uncut, something like a lion’s mane with tangles.  The woman was dressed in an expensive leather suit, the kind nobles often wore in order to tour the more dangerous parts of resort planets.  She was a beauty with large red lips and liquid brown eyes.  Her hair was well kept and perfectly arranged in this steamy jungle.

“Who… are you?” King finally spit out.

“I am the former movie star known as Wicked Wanda,” said the woman.  “You may have seen me in the holo-epic All Spaceways Lead to Galtorr, or the romantic comedy The Corsair’s Wife.”

“Um, no.”

“That’s okay.  I know my fame and talent haven’t reached all the way to the frontier, yet.”

King looked around.  Hooey and Willie Culver were sitting a short distance away, talking to a man in a black robe with a hood over his head.  He wanted to get up and go over there so he could kick Hooey in the head for doing this to him. 

“What’s wrong with me?  Why can’t I get up from here?”

“You have a terrible infection in the wound from the creature’s carnivorous mouth.  I’m a pretty good medic as well as a holo-epic star, so I’ve been trying to treat it without antibiotics.”

King looked at the boy.  “I guess I owe you my life,” he said soberly.  “Thank you.”

“Me Randy,” said the Jungle Boy, pounding his chest with one fist.

“That’s all he can say,” said Wanda.  “He was apparently the only one to survive from his crashed spaceship, and the monkey people of this planet raised him.”

“Monkey people?” 

“The Lemurians.  They live on several jungle planets, or the jungle parts of medium life-belt planets.  They have a whole city here in the trees.  They built this place.  If Admiral Tang knew they were here and rescuing some of the people he maroons here, he’d probably throw a mechanoid fit.”

“Yes, I owe them too.  I have to survive this place to get revenge on Tang.”

Wicked Wanda smiled a sinister smile.  “Revenge is not a good enough motivation for most people, but I can tell it fits you perfectly.”

“Yeah, I’m a dangerous man.”

“Sure you are.”

“How smart are these Lemurians?”

“Oh, they are very clever.  They can’t talk though, unless Oook means something in monkey-talk.”

“You can’t communicate with them?”

“Oh, we can.  Slythinus over there can use some kind of telepathy on them.”  She pointed at the man in the robe.

“Slythinus?  As in Emperor Slythinus?”

“Yeah, that’s him.  Mr. Golly Bigdeal is a prisoner here just like the rest of us.”

“How?  I mean, he’s still the Emperor, isn’t he?”

“Not really any more…”  Wanda looked at him sadly.  “There was a coup by some guy called Prince Ali.  Slythinus was left here to die while other people took over his empire.  I understand the Imperium belongs mostly to Mechanoids and Galtorr-Human Fusions now.  That’s how I got here, taking pity on a human leader that had fallen out of favor with his planet.  You may have heard of him.  You know, Duke Ferrari of the Coventry Sector?”

“I’ve heard the name.  Don’t know much about the man, other than the fact that we freed him from a dungeon on the planet White Palm.  I guess that’s how Tron’s Pinwheel Corsairs got our behinds handed to us in a basket, payment from the Imperium for freeing the Duke.”

“He’s free?  Oh!  I love you for that!”  Wanda leaned in and planted a big, passionate kiss on King.  He was instantly surprised and embarrassed.

“Well, well, well,” said Dr. Hooey.  “I see you’ve met your future wife already.”

“I swear, Hooey, I will kill you one day.”

“Oh, no you won’t.  I’ve read the proof in one of King Ryan Beowulf’s books about the future.”

“The future?”  Wanda was puzzled.

“Oh, yes,” said King sarcastically.  “Dr. Hooey here is a Time Knight, and destined to get us all off this planet.”

“Really?” said Wanda, obviously contemplating another thank-you kiss.  King found that he hated that idea.  “How will we get off?” she asked.

“There’s a certain device hidden in the ruins,” said Hooey.

“What ruins?” asked the robed man, walking up to King also.  “I know of none.”

As Slythinus approached, King could see that his Galtorrian lizard eyes were gone.  The former Emperor was now blind. “Your monkey friends know,” said Hooey.  “Although, I have to wonder why they’ve kept the knowledge from you.  It is the way they have gotten from planet to planet, you know.”

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March 28, 2020 · 5:41 pm

Art Day Novel Illustrations

One of the main things I have been focusing on in my art work is the art of illustration. For example, this is a character illustration for the book The Boy… Forever.

This illustration is also from the book The Boy… Forever. It is a pen-and-ink illustration of a moment in the story when Anita Jones and Sherry Cobble are being held prisoner through mind control by the evil vampire/dragon, Tian Long.

The boy is Tanis, a living mummy from ancient Egypt, kept alive by a horrible process the villain is intending to use on at least one of the imprisoned girls.

This illustration is part of the exposition from my comedy science fiction novel, AeroQuest 3 ; Juggling Planets. It explains about the residents of the planet Djinnistan being genetically engineered humans with bizarre characteristics.

The evil Dr. Havir Bludlust has created these humanoid mutants to aid the human star empire known as the Imperium to make excessive profits from the people they supposedly govern, but actually enslave.

A heroine from AeroQuest 3
One of the dragons from The Boy… Forever.
A late-for-class illustration from The Boy… Forever
Another novel I am working on at present with many illustrations is A Field Guide to Fauns.
The rest of these illustrations will be from A Field Guide to Fauns.

The novel takes place in a nudist park where the main characters are mostly year-around residents, it is also the reason why they appear nude in a majority of the illustrations. It is not a book of pornography, however, just as being in a nudist park is about living a sensual, nature-filled life, and not about people having sex. I will not categorize this as a young-adult novel, though it will be tame enough for kids to read.

Devon, the main character, loves to draw. Hence, the illustrations are drawn by him.

This is Devon Martinez’s self-portrait. He tends to draw people as mythological creatures like fauns, satyrs, and nymphs.

He tells the story in first-person narrative. He doesn’t start out as a nudist. But he is thrust into the middle of it because he is forced by a tragedy to move in with his father, stepmother, and twin stepsisters.

They are full-time residents of a nudist park. To live there, he has to get comfortable being naked.

Part of what the story does is define what Devon thinks a faun is and how they should be treated. Hence, the central metaphor introduced in the title.
Devon at his job as a handy-man’s assistant.
A faun and his stepsister as a nymph.
Jose, an example of a satyr.
Devon wearing a suit. It is not a 100% nude novel.

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March 10, 2020 · 1:55 pm

AeroQuest 3… Canto 82

Canto 82 – Siege of the Seadome (the Blood-red Thread)

Ham Aero was chafing in the wrist cuffs.  He’d been stripped of his yellow and blue combat armor, as had Ferrari and myself.  We all lay on the hard metal floor of the seadome brig.  Ham was working at the cuffs, seemingly knowing how to break free in a Houdini-esque fashion.  He twisted them back and forth, rolling his knuckles over in a very interesting fashion.  I have never seen such a form of double-jointedness before.

“I am supposed to execute all three of you,” the black-suited commander was saying.  “I know I am supposed to, but I can’t see killing someone like you, Duke Ferrari.”

“Why don’t you let me go, then, soldier?” said Duke Ferrari in his oiliest political voice.  He almost seemed sympathetic to our captor and potential executioner.

“Admiral Tang has personally ordered your immediate execution.  What will I do?”

At that moment, the Commander of the commando team we came with came in with two armed guards.  He still wore his armor and seemed remarkably fit compared to the wear and tear that showed on the rest of us.

“Why haven’t you killed them yet?” he asked of the Black Commander.

“I had to confirm that the orders were not a mistake,” said Blackie. 

“Nonsense.  You know what the Admiral wants.  Just do it!”

“I called Planet Mingo Command to confirm the order before I do it.  I don’t want to kill the former ruler who did the most to help my people in his lifetime.”  The Black Commander took off his helmet to reveal a snake-eyed Human-Galtorrian face.  He was of the fusion race that dominated the Imperium.

“What happened to your loyalty?” Duke Ferrari asked the yellow and blue Commander.  “I thought you were on our side?”

“I am.  I don’t want his people to claim that you made a mess of things with your little rebellion.  The people idolize you, but they don’t realize what is actually good for them.  A government of a space empire cannot be a democracy.  You have to have order to maintain the rule over so many worlds.”

“Save me from military intellectuals!” moaned Ferrari.

“Give me the fusion gun, Commander,” said our former friend.  “I will take responsibility for their deaths.”

“Ruts rowing on here?” said the metallic voice of a mechanoid mutt, possibly a Great Dane.

I looked at Ham.  He had his hands free, ready to grab a gun and fight for our lives against impossible odds.

“Commander Doo!”  The two commanders stiffly saluted in utter surprise.  “What are your orders, sir?” said Commander Blackie.

“I rahnt rorder!  Rese men are under the protection of Rord Rayrond King!  Roo will not harm them!”

“What?  Lord Doo!  We have to kill them.  They are a danger to the Imperium.”

The snake-eyed commander seemed visibly relieved.  It was as if this message from the dog’s mouth was exactly what he wanted to hear.

“Will you release us, then?” asked Duke Ferrari.

“Res!” said the mechanoid dog.  “Roo are free.  Rord King rahnts it that way.”

“I protest!” cried our commando friend, our false friend.

“You’re a weasel,” said Blackie.  His slug-thrower gave off a quick blast, piercing the traitor in the chest plate of his armor.  As he slumped dead to the floor, Ham began freeing us from our cuffs.  The Black Commander helped.

“We are grateful,” said Duke Ferrari.  How can we repay you?”

The dog-mechanoid looked at us with artificial eyes, creepy eyes.  “Roo rill rule Farwind as risely as roo took care of riss sector before.  Re are all allies now.” It didn’t seem right to be set free by a mechanical talking dog, at least, not without a set of meddling kids to go with him, but I was in no mood to question our good fortune.

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March 8, 2020 · 6:36 pm

Beautiful and Brilliant

I have looked deeply and longingly at my own writing time and again trying to determine what is good and what is poorly done and what is the best that I have written. How does one examine what is good? What are the standards that you must meet?

I had a writing teacher who was teaching a class in fiction writing and said to us, “You write fiction to create that special bittersweet something, that je ne sais quoi, that you need in order to come to terms with reality. Everything necessary to say something that satisfies a nameless desire.” I wish I remembered his name so I could credit him with having said that wise thing. Or, at any rate, I wish I could remember the name of the wise guy that he was quoting.

So, basically I am trying to capture in prose something that I have no idea what it is, but both you and I will know it if we see it. Easy-peasy, right?

Good fiction that I have read and liked makes me feel something. If it is truly literary quality, like the novels of Charles Dickens, Terry Pratchett, and Mark Twain, it will make me both laugh and cry. Funny things balanced by things that hurt to know and make you weep for characters that you have come to love. If it is a downer kind of novel, as some very good bits of science fiction and horror fiction are, it will make you laugh a little, cry a little, and think a lot; think with dread, or despair, or even impossible hope. Steven King, George Orwell, H.P. Lovecraft, and Ray Bradbury are good examples of this.

I am grappling with how you do that. I am not fool enough to think I am some sort of literary great. I am a school teacher writing stories for school children, stories I wanted to hear when I was a kid. Stories of good versus evil, good people coming together in the face of chaos. Heroes, villains, and clowns being heroic, villainous, or foolish. And themes that both warm and chill your little blue heart.

. So, what can I do besides keep on writing and keep on trying and keep on begging people, fools, and children to try reading my writing because they will like it, even if it is the least best thing I have written?

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March 6, 2020 · 8:05 pm

Curiouser and Curiouser

I finished a possible cover for my work in progress, A Field Guide to Fauns. It is a book about re-forming families from tragedies and divorce. It is also about suicidal thoughts and depression. And it takes place in a nudist park where the family has a permanent trailer.

This book will definitely be about some of my own experiences with these things and issues. And I hope to distill a bit of high-quality wisdom from this brewing novel. After all, when it comes to depression and battling it, I have deep scars and burned-in notions of how you overcome them. It is ironic that I know so much about fighting depression and darkness, even though it was mostly about the depression of other people, not me.

I have come to know how to stitch families together out of used and discarded parts. Hopefully not creating a new monster. And again, it is ironic that I know this mostly from other families, not ours.

The book is flowing, practically writing itself. And that is always a sign of a big idea turning itself into a great novel. I look forward to finding out what happens in each and every next chapter… or, in this case, Canto.

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