Category Archives: NOVEL WRITING

AeroQuest 5… Canto 148

Canto 148 – Of Rocks and Men

The hills of Outpost had come alive with construction projects.  The Lazerstone collective had found enough harmonic crystals to form ten million new rock men.  They all looked like the original Lazerstone, but once separated from their original, they quickly developed personalities and intelligences uniquely their own.  Lazerstone himself explained that the content of the native Outpost crystal, various minerals and odd bits of elements, made each crystal man different from the rest, just as snowflakes are unique from each other.  The result was a vast and capable workforce who could build spaceships and defense installations in an airless environment without complaint.  They were also highly capable of manipulating the planet’s rock formations to construct what was needed for defense.

“It is unbelievable!” swore Tron, “these rock men may have saved us from Tang and his Imperial Fleet!  Arkin, I can never repay you for this.”

“I am lucky to be alive and glad to be able to help in this fight,” declared Cloudstalker. 

“You got that right!” added the head of Ace Campfield bitterly. The head of the deadly bounty hunter and skilled assassin was all that remained of the Mechanoid menace.

“Shut up, Ace,” said Cloudstalker.

Tron, Arkin, Hassan the Elf, and the head of Ace Campfield were watching the intensive creation of defense facilities from the edge of the transparent dome that covered Tron’s pirate city. 

Tron’s scarred face drew up in a sneer.  He looked at the still-living Mechanoid head. “I don’t know why you keep that thing around.” 

“He was someone to talk to on the trip here.  Besides, I may be able to learn something about the enemy from him.”

“Yeah,” growled the head, “When the stars all go out.”

“If it were me, I would drop-kick that thing out onto the surface.  He can talk to himself for a thousand years.  How do you know he’s not secretly broadcasting everything he sees or hears to Admiral Tang?”

“Well, I guess that’s why I only kept the talking part.  It’s small enough to scan completely and inside out.”

 The head fell into grim silence.

 “These rock men fit my armors perfectly,” said Hassan.  “They will be a formidable fighting force.”

Arkin looked at the Peri intently, really noticing him for the first time.  He marveled at the clever way the little child-like man had redesigned his artificial leg to operate like a Swiss Army Knife, with forty-two extra pop-out devices including a mini drink mixer for martinis.  He also noticed how charming the creature was for being a genetically manipulated freak.

“You are quite an arms designer,” Arkin said to the elf.

Hassan smiled an extra-broad smile and looked a bit sheepish as he answered, “I don’t really like weapons, you know.  The Peris believe that every story, no matter how much adventure and risk it has in it, should be about love.  All life is a page in the Great Story.  I don’t object to making things that might save someone in battle or prevent a serious injury.”

“Hmm.  I see.  I don’t know how necessary the defensive part will be to Lazerstone soldiers.  They are pretty much impervious to harm as it is,” said Arkin.

“Well, the armor allows the wearer to fly and protect against plasma bolts,” said Hassan.

Arkin nodded.  That was a very good thing for his side in the upcoming battle.  He was glad this creative little goober was on their side.  The elf was not a great warrior or anything, but he was a good little man to have on your side.  Arkin couldn’t help but feel something paternal towards this child-like little man.  He was reminded of his own son, Devon, growing up away from his father on the distant planet Arriseah.  It could easily all end very badly.  Even with the help of these crystal soldiers, Admiral Tang had the resources and strategic genius to wipe out all of these pirates.  He knew he could die here and never see his family again.  That had never stopped a good idea before, though.  He meant to see this through, no matter what the cost.  He smiled at the brooding head of the assassin, Ace Campfield.

“We are gonna win this, Tron,” said Arkin.  “I know we will.”

“I wish I could have your optimism,” Tron answered.  “Any realist will tell you, we are probably doomed.”

“We can’t fail,” said Hassan simply.  “The good guys always win.  The creator made it so.”

Arkin nodded as he looked at the elf.  It was the way he had always felt put into words.  Let Admiral Tang come soon!  He wanted to see how this would play out.

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Character References, Part 3

When choosing whose picture to publish of all the many made-up people that live in my head and my fiction, I often wonder, do I have an accurate sense of who is important and who is merely minor?  I offer now some characters I don’t feel comfortable leaving out.

Mazie Haire

Mazie Haire

One of the Haire Sisters, rumored to be a witch, and proud to prove it to you, Mazie is a severe and highly focused individual with a knack for seeing and convincing you of the truth.  So, maybe she really is a witch.

She appears in;

Snow Babies

When the Captain Came Calling

Miltie223xx408

Milton John Morgan (Milt)

I can’t tell you about the witch without mentioning the wizard.  Milt Morgan is the Merlin of the Norwall Pirates (an adventuring gang and 4-H softball team).

He is one of the founders of the gang and the one who got them into the most trouble in the 1970’s.

He appears in;

Superchicken

The Baby Werewolf

The Boy… Forever!

The Wizard in his Keep

Torry2 (640x480)

Torrie Brownfield

Torrie is the hair-everywhere boy with hypertrichosis, the werewolf-hair disease.  He was genetically doomed to life looking like a werewolf.  He was discovered living in hiding in Norwall by the Pirates’ gang who decided they simply had to make him a member.

He is, of course, the main character of;

The Baby Werewolf

And also appears in;

Recipes for Gingerbread Children

Harker

Harker Dawes

Harker is a clown-character based on a real person living in the real town of Norwall.  He buys the local hardware store and runs the business into bankruptcy.  He is not only a ne’er-do-well, but he also is a truly loveable fool.

He plays a key role in;

Snow Babies

He is also in the upcoming novel;

Fools and Their Toys

dils1

Dilsey Murphy

Dilsey is Mike’s slightly older sister who seems to be in a lot of my stories.  She is a tomboy and a Daddy’s girl.  She is also beloved by her irascible Grampy, Cudgel Murphy.  Mike Murphy both hates her and loves her, but mostly just depends on her.

She is in;

Magical Miss Morgan

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

and a large number of upcoming stories

cudgels car

Sean “Cudgel” Murphy

Grampy of the Murphy Clan, Cudgel is the meanest old man you’d ever want to meet.  He is excellently suited to the job of teaching kids to swear.  And he only drives his Austin Hereford, “The finest car made anywhere in the whole goddam world in 1954!”

He appears in;

Snow Babies

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

Crooner

Francois Martin

Francois, the French orphan, is the main character in my novel,

Sing Sad Songs.

He paints his face in clown paint and sings beautifully enough to save his Uncle’s business.  I am halfway finished with this new novel.

So, now I feel like I have exhausted myself in character introductions and will probably eschew a “Part 4”.  But with Mickey, there are no guarantees.

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AeroQuest 5… Adagio 22

Adagio 22 – Outpost Demographics Analyzed by a Genius

I, Googol Marou, am the most qualified person in the universe to break down for you the basic facts about Tron Blastarr’s pirate-base home world.  If you want a basic genius-level analysis, you naturally turn to the scientist who invented a telescope that could visually reconstruct events of the past gathered from planets viewed from my little telescope at sometimes thousands of light years of distance, thus looking thousands of light years into the past.  And of course, I had twelve years of exile to work with in compiling the data from our little corner of the Orion Spur of the Sagittarius  Spiral Arm of the Milky Way Galaxy.

You see, Outpost was an airless planet on the frontier of the Galtorrian Imperium.  It was unique in that it had been settled entirely by disgruntled privateers from the Coreward War with the Faceless Horde in the two short years between the end of the Horde War and the beginning of the fulfillment of the Prophecy of Shan, heralding the beginning of The White Spider’s new web of interstellar civilization.

I bet you can’t read that paragraph aloud at high lip speed.  At least not without breaking a tooth.  I dare you to try it.

The planetary system went from a world of zero population and zero Medium-Class Earthlike worlds to twenty billion intelligent beings and over 450,000,000 space fish of various species in only five standard planetary years (gauged from the orbits of both Earth and Galtorr Prime, two very similar Goldilocks-zone worlds of the Imperium.)

It began with the surviving members of the Pinwheel Corsairs, Tron’s highly successful space force of warships.  They built the initial installations for crew habitats, a starport, and shipyards.  They were soon joined by many other survivors of the Horde War, looking for someplace to be after being thoroughly beaten and betrayed by both the Faceless Horde and Admiral Tang’s Imperial Space Navy.

Outpost had its own source of hydrogen fuel in the two gas-giant planets in the system, each of which had multiple moons.  Then they stole an Ancient artifact made so long ago that we couldn’t even determine if the Ancients were actual people, or maybe sentient mushrooms battling to fill the universe with mold spores… but sentient mold spores, that made life everywhere.  (Okay, I admit it.  That is all just a conspiracy theory.)  But the Crown of Stars could do something really Ancient science-y.  And then Trav Dalgoda stole it. 

Tron and Maggie tracked the Goof down to a new planet recently liberated and reclaimed by the Aero Brothers.  And the Goofy one had, in the meantime, discovered another Ancient thingy called the Hammer of God.  This thing could build whatever you could think of (as long as you were telepathic enough to tell the Hammer what you were thinking of.)  The Hammer could make whole cities instantly using nanobots and sentient energy beams.  And so, Tron and his people used it to build cities all over Outpost

And so, the pirates of Outpost needed people to come live in their new cities.  They found Lupin space pirates willing to live on Outpost in return for help with their rotten spaceships.  They also found massive flotillas of Nebulon space whales, living spaceships that breed on gas giants and contain cities full of little blue Nebulons.  Although they were unwilling to live on Outpost itself.  Instead, they wanted to live with their space whales and other space fish around the gas giants with their various moons and plenty of space for the breeding of even more space fish.

And then Arkin Cloudstalker not only brought his Lady Knights with their White Sword Corsairs to Outpost but also the weird alien Lazerstone who was made of intelligent rocks.  And there was a wealth of psionic crystals in the sands of Outpost that Lazerstone could turn into numerous clone copies of himself, complete with a hive mind.  Millions of Lazerstones came to life on Outpost and started wearing the special armored suits invented by Tron’s boy sidekick, Hassan the Space Elf of Djinnistan.

And so, that is the crucial insight into the reasons why Outpost was the key to the war between the New Star League and Admiral Tang’s Galtorr Imperium.

A Nebulon pilot

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A Character Reference, Part 2

Yesterday an inconvenient internet outage interrupted my fountain of character gushing.  So let me splash a couple more on here.

tim

Tim Kellogg

Tim is a school teacher’s son who is sorta, kinda, based on my own oldest son… and maybe a little bit on me.  He’s clever, creative, a natural leader, and only slightly evil part of the time.

Tim is a main character in;

Catch a Falling Star

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

Magical Miss Morgan

Grandma Gretel

Grandma Gretel Stein

Gretel is a German survivor of the concentration camps who sees and talks to fairies on a regular basis.  She also bakes magically delicious gingerbread cookies.  And loves to tell stories to those who eat her cookies.

She is a main character in;

Recipes for Gingerbread Children

She is an important character in;

Superchicken

The Baby Werewolf

The Necromancer’s Apprentice

ginger1

The Primary Cast of Recipes for Gingerbread Children (left to right) Grandma Gretel, the cookie baker, Todd Niland, handsome young farm boy and cookie-eater, Sherry Cobble, nudist and junior high cheerleader, and Sandy Wickham, cookie-eater and Todd Niland’s crush.

My Art 2 of Davalon

Farbick

He’s the alien Telleron pilot and good guy aboard Xiar’s space ship who gets shot during the failed invasion of Iowa and helps save the planet in the near future.  He’s a main character in;

Catch a Falling Star

Stardusters and Space Lizards

Davalon (re-named David by the couple who adopts him)

Dav is the alien boy accidentally lost on earth in Catch a Falling Star, and leader of the young explorers in Stardusters and Space Lizards.

Superchick

Edward-Andrew Campbell, the Superchicken

It is possible E-A is really me.  He bears my high school nickname.  He is a boy trying to cope with being the new kid in a tightly knit little Iowa farm town.

He is the main character in;

Superchicken

I fear I am still a long way from done with referring to characters in my books.  But more waits for another day.

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Advertising on E-Bay Ignorantly

skortch

You are probably not going to believe this, but there are certain things you simply cannot safely sell on E-Bay.  My first good novel, Catch a Falling Star, took years to write.  The research, interviews with survivors, fighting off remaining alien invaders left behind when the Telleron invasion failed, and clean-up of sites and inconvenient witnesses took at least from 1990 to 2012.  And then, as part of my marketing-by-blogging strategy for the book, I took a box of leftover skortch pistols and listed them for sale on E-Bay.  They turned out to be a very popular item.  It took the first skortch ray almost a year to sell for a measly five dollars.  It was bought by a woman with a very annoying husband.  She apparently bought the item as a joke, thinking it would not actually work as a molecular disintegration weapon.  But after she surprised her husband with it and then posted the surprising results on Facebook, I quickly sold out the rest of the 26 pistols in the box and made almost $800. I am told by concerned investigative reporters that crotchety old men, ugly wives, and particularly Dennis-the-Menace-like kids were disappearing all across the Midwest.  I also learned that one skortch ray pistol came into the hands of a Republican political operative before the election in 2016.  That fact may have accounted for the disappearances of large numbers of registered Democrats in both Michigan and Pennsylvania in the weeks before the election.

I wanted to inform you that I may have done something stupid on E-Bay.  Therefore I am re-posting the drawing I did of Studpopper the Telleron demonstrating the firing of an example skortch pistol created by Zillokahsitter Industries on Telleri Prime with Sylvani technology.  If you should see one of these in the hands of a spouse that thinks you are grumpy too much of the time, I would suggest an almost instantaneous program of self-improvement.  And if you see one in the hands of someone in a red MAGA baseball cap, immediately put on your own red hat and say something inordinately stupid so they will assume you are one of them, and hope they skortch themselves by accident before they get around to skortching you.

Sorry about that.  I should’ve thought this whole thing through more carefully beforehand.

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AeroQuest 5… Canto 147

Canto 147 – The Dilemma of Tiki Astro

Tiki Astro, the robot boy, sat at the control console of the Ancient Red Dragon Space Craft.  As a synthetic, computerized being, he was really the only one who could take over the monitoring of the Dragon’s travels when Junior Aero slept.  Tiki didn’t have the Psionic ability to read mechanized minds that Junior had, but his computing powers in his psychotronic brain were almost the equal of Junior’s Psion ability to read computer minds via telepathy.

The panel in front of Tiki was a complex sea of buttons, lights, levers and a myriad of labels and warnings written in an indecipherable Ancient script that nobody alive in the present universe could read.  Tiki was trying to decipher it in the back of his computerized brain, as he had for a month now.  While doing so, he could also look out through the Dragon’s eyes, the bridge of the space craft actually being inside the head of the Dragon, and see the passing stars as the Dragon leaped through jump space into the interior of the Imperium.

“So, Metal Head, how’s it going?” asked Phoenix as he walked onto the bridge.

“My head is not made mostly of metal.  Synthetic flesh is composed of elements like…”

“Save the lecture, Tiki.  I know what you are.  You are the robot trying to be a real boy.”

“Unlike the other boys on this ship, I am only a little over two years old.  Three if you count the day my head was activated as my original birthday.”

“Yeah.  We are all very different on this flight crew.  It makes it all the harder to figure things out.”

“What things?” Tiki asked the flame-haired boy.

“Well, a lot of things are on my mind.  I mean, who among us Disciples of the White Spider should be the leader after Sensei Ged Aero?”

“I always assumed it was between Junior Aero and Sara Smith.  They are the first two students of the Dojo.”  Tiki looked at Phoenix with expressionless eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that.  I know it is wrong to be jealous of anyone.  But…”

“But you were a leader rather than a follower when you were a student of the Black Spider.”

“Well, yeah…  I mean, I was trained by them to be a tactical leader and the commander during combat.”

“And you don’t want to turn over leadership to telepaths and healers?”

“It isn’t just Junior and Sara.  I acknowledge that they are my equals in many ways.  But there is also the Gaijinese boy, Shu Kwai.  He knows how to lead from the front.  And his telekinesis is almost as powerful as my pyrokinesis.  And when it comes to telepathy, no one among us can keep Hassan Parker out of our heads if he wants to take over our minds.  How am I supposed to handle that?”

“What kind of answer are you asking me for?”

“If it came to a fight over who’s in command, would you, as a rational robot, be on my side?”

“Sensei Ged Aero is in charge of this mission.”

“But if something were to happen to him…”

“If it did, we would be in serious trouble already.  I would follow the leader with the best plan for whatever the situation is.  Maybe you.  But also, maybe not you.”

“That’s the kind of answer I expected, Metal Head.  But if it came down to it, and the mission was on the line, I would certainly pay attention to who you choose to follow.  I know you calculate the odds better than anyone else can.”

“That’s what happens when you make a pocket computer like me into an almost-real boy.”

The conversation ended there, but Phoenix continued studying the stars ahead as he continued to stand behind Tiki and look out the Dragon’s eyes at what was coming into view.

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AeroQuest 5… Canto 146

Canto 146 – Robo-Alliances

Smoky Hardretter was adding the final touches to the image on the 3-D display of a Mechanoid-control device.  It was essential that they get things right.  If they were going to establish control over the planet Mingo, Smoky and his ally Raylond King, two thirds of the ruling triumvirate of the local star cluster, would have to develop a stronger Mechanoid army than the one already controlled by the third triumvir, Evil Emperor Mong the Maniacal.

“Ray, what are we going to do if we can’t overcome Mong’s superior control mechanisms?”

The handsome young Raylond and his beautiful young wife, Tara Salongi, stepped in from the nursery.

“We just got little Amanda to sleep, Smoky.  You have to discuss quietly.”  Tara’s stern look gave him no room to raise his voice in protest.

“Mong is such a weak-willed ruler.  There has to be a way to overcome his advantage.”  Ray’s jaw was set in a grim line.

“You haven’t really taken him on directly, Ray.  He’s tougher in conflict than he seems when he’s drinking coffee or participating in the mechanical-dance ritual.  And he was the one out of the three of us responsible for the defenses of the entire star cluster.”

“Oh, I am aware of that.  And it only got worse when we tried to force him to join the New Star League with us.  He went directly to Sir Saurol to report us and get Admiral Tang to replace and recall us.”

“Um, guys…”  Tara indicated the man-shaped thing listening to their conversation while leaning against the door post.

“Interesting…  I seem to be here at just the right time to hear exactly what I needed to hear.”

“Who are you?  And what do you want?” Smoky asked.

“He’s the synthezoid robot known as Sorcerer.   He’s a bad guy, and you need to shoot him in the head before he can do his robot thing.” Tara was glaring commandingly again.

“Wait!  I’m not the early model.  I’m Sorcerer 27.  New and improved.  And I’m the solution to the problem you were just talking about.”

“You want to help us revolt against the Imperium?” asked Raylond.

“I’m tired of being shot in the head before I can perform my miraculous functions.  I need to be on the winning side for a change.”

“What can you do for us?” asked Tara suspiciously.

“I possess access to Syn Corporation AI control systems.  I can turn your Rot Warrior Zombie Soldiers into reanimated beings who can think creatively and independently, even as well as they did when they were living beings.”

“Why would you help us?” asked Smoky.

“You will reward me with sole control of the planet Zadukar that orbits the Lonely Star in the far corner of the cluster.”

“That miserable hot rock with methane for an atmosphere?” asked Raylond.

“You have a deal!” declared Smoky.

“Yes, but the prince is probably long dead.  And, besides, Slythinus himself was probably killed on Stanley,” said Sorcerer.

“Why do you want it?” asked Raylond.

“I just want to be a ruler among the good guys for once,” he said with an evil robotic smile.

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AeroQuest 5… Canto 145

Canto 145 – Senators and Senate Stuff

The biggest debate in the arguing about forming the New Star League had been about which planet was the best place to host the capitol of the newly formed multi-star government.  The idea had formed around the planet Don’t Go Here, which was entirely too provincial and had never had a space-faring tech level before.  In spite of its sentient orbiting space port, the Ancient construct known as Frieda, retrieved from the device made by the Ancients called the Crown of Stars, it was determined that the planetary system was simply not equipped to be an interstellar capitol.

Tron Blastarr, leader of the pirate space forces establishing the new union of solar systems, wanted his home base of Outpost to be the new capitol, but the main inhabited planet, Outpost itself, was an airless rock with no room for much beyond Nebulon colonies and military installations.

Xavier Tkriashav, the political leader who had brought all the worlds of the Psion exiles and the Lupin pirate hordes into the union wanted his home world of Zarane to be the capitol.  But that world did not really have a central enough location to work well.

So, the leaders, meeting on the centralized world of Gaijin with its hybrid Gaijinese people and relatively high tech level, decided to build the new capitol in the city of Kiro on the planet Gaijin

Tkriashav and the bald immortal Dr. Naylund Smith both retired to the Gaijinese tea garden behind Dr. Smith’s house with their cups of steaming white-stork tea.

“Well, Dr. Smith, it seems that everybody got what they wanted in the meeting.  The constitution is practically written already.”

“Yes, you, it seems, got the choicest position, making yourself Senator Prime.”

The turbaned Zaranian smiled.  “You will be my Number Two, so you will succeed me if anything happens.”

“Yes, but it was not a looked-for opportunity.  I have other matters that urgently demand my time.”  Dr. Smith stared into his cup of tea.

“But you are an immortal.  Surely if anyone has all the time they will ever need to do anything, it is you.”

“I go on living practically no matter what happens to my body, it is true.  But my precious daughter is not immortal.  Even now, Sara is with Ged Aero on a mission she may not return alive from.”

“But she’s only one of how many children you have sired over your three-thousand-year-plus lifetime?”

“She may be only one of many, but they are all gone now in the well of time, and I vowed that her mother would be the very last woman I ever loved and then outlived.  That kind of loss is taxing to the soul.”

 “Yes, the sentiment is certainly understandable.  But it is a great thing we are undertaking.  Never before have so many different sentient species come together to form an interstellar planetary alliance.  We have always been ruled in the past by the members of the Earther Human Race and the  Human-Galtorrian Fusion Race.  But now there are the Molluscan M’uduai Race, the Japanese/Sylvani Race we are now calling the Gaijinese, the Psion Race of Zarane and her sister worlds of the Old Psion Empire, the Pale Humans of the Geonee Race, the deep-space Nebulon Race, the Lupins, and the Dion Saurian People, as well as all the Genetically Altered Races of the Faulkner Genetics Worlds.”

“An impressive list to be sure.  But can they hold together as one people with common interests in this new government?”

“I don’t see why you would doubt it?”

“Maybe because of the endless warring and race-hatred of the many human races.  You know how the Imperium is.  Zombie like Mechanoids, dead bodies brought back to life artificially are the backbone of their armies, space marines, space navy, and special forces.  The ruling elite see all alien races as expendable and exploitable.  They don’t even treat Dions and M’uduai as worthy of being called people.  And they enslave and exterminate Nebulons and Lupins.”

“Yes, and we are not them.  We are not Imperials.  We will hold ourselves to a higher standard.”

“You have no idea how often I have heard that same sort of pronouncement come out of the mouths of well-meaning world rulers and empire builders.  It almost never goes the way they see it in their glorious visions.”

“It will be different this time.  The Prophecy of Xhan says it will be so.”

“I too have studied the prophecy, Xavier.  I have also studied much too much history firsthand to have your confidence.”

The younger man smiled and softly slapped the old immortal on the back.  “Fear not.  There is much in the Prophecy of the White Spider yet to be realized.  We are making history.  But it is history that is foretold and will certainly come true.”

“It will if Ged Aero succeeds in his quest.  And it will if the space forces on our side can get it all together to fight off evil old Admiral Tang, and the darker forces behind him.  You would be wise to prepare for at least some parts of your prophecy not to come true in the way you are expecting.”

There was no doubting that Dr. Smith had a point.  And even Xavier’s clairvoyant Psion abilities couldn’t remove the darker clouds from among all the cumulus constructs of the possibilities that lay ahead.

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How NOT to Tell a Story – Part Two

Yesterday, in Part 1, I tried to convince you that, “You should never take too long a time writing a story” because I have written some twenty-plus-year-long novels that took me forever to write, and I am an unsuccessful writer. So, you should not do things the way I did. (Some might accuse me of trying to use a little too much irony, claiming I am a bit too obscure about what I am actually telling you that you should actually do… But, remember, I advised you not to take advice from Mickey. And you need irony in your diet anyway to avoid irony-poor tired blood.) Therefore I am going to advise you further that, “You should never make your characters too complex and interesting.”

After all, there are Mickian characters that are literally blue with red patches on their cheeks that absorb harmful gamma radiation and make those characters immune to radiation sickness from exposure in deep space. You don’t want to make readers so curious about a character that they waste time reading more and more closely to discover more about that character.

Junior Aero, the alien Nebulon boy in the AeroQuest stories is just one example. Not only is he a member of an alien race that are belittled as “Space Smurfs” and treated to racial bigotry based on skin color and not being able to speak English at first, but he is also gifted with mental “Psion powers” that allow him to telepathically read computer minds, even the sentient and intelligent ones.

And some of my characters are green with shark-like fins on their heads. They were born on Starships and orbiting artificial satellites like the one going around Barnard’s Star. They are like George Jetson here, named after his father, Xiar’s, favorite Earther cartoon show character from the 60’s. Not only is he a green-skinned amphibious humanoid life-form from a different star system, he learns a lot about himself in the adventure he has in the novel Stardusters and Space Lizards. He goes from being a narcissistic space-pilot wannabee into becoming a humble crash survivor and expedition leader who helps save an entire planet from ecological disaster. And he even gets a girlfriend out of the deal in Menolly his nestmate and fellow survivor.

Characters like that are far too interesting and developed to be good for your reputation as a serious producer of money-making fiction stories. And you certainly don’t want to waste time on developing the same characters in multiple books.

I used the character of Valerie Clarke in the book When the Captain Came Calling as an eleven-year-old protagonist who loses her father and has to rely on older kids and good friends to save herself from depression and the trash-pits of despair.

I used her again as a main character in Snow Babies where she befriends a mysterious stranger and also finds a runaway boy who makes her think seriously about life and young love, all in the middle of a deadly blizzard.

She’s also in the book Sing Sad Songs where she learns to negotiate love with a boy who also lost a parent, in fact, both parents and a twin sister, in a car crash that made him a lonely orphan. She not only has to face the loss of her own loved ones, but has to help somebody else to face the same thing, in fact, more than one other somebody.

She’s also a character in The Bicycle-Wheel Genius and Fools and Their Toys.

It is unthinkable to use a character that much and make her grow and change in so many different ways. She should be used only once in a simple and clear way. Like, maybe, Mark Twain’s use of Huckleberry Finn.

Huck, as a character was only used in the books, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer Abroad, Tom Sawyer, Detective… and… never mind. Forget I even said anything about Huck Finn. In fact, maybe this whole post is so ironic it’s making my story-teller gears all rusty. Never-the-less, let me threaten you with a possible part three.

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Filed under characters, goofiness, humor, NOVEL WRITING, Paffooney, writing teacher

How NOT to Tell a Story

If you have come to my blog in hopes of gleaning some key advice about how to write novels or tell a story, then the wisest advice I can give you is, “Do not take any advice Mickey gives seriously.” He used to be a writing teacher in public schools. That is true. But he is also the writer of weird surrealistic novels full of purple paisley prose. And he is not a successful novelist like Steven King or J.K. Rowling. His writing advice is probably only worth ca-ca poo-poo.

So, let me tell you how NOT to write a novel.

Each of the novels I have written and displayed here took me more than twenty years from the moment I conceived of the idea, through plotting, rough drafts, revisions, re-plotting, expanding the story, to finally publishing them in 2017, 2018, and 2019. I developed the stories from real people, real events, and real themes that were a part of my life and added to each of the stories as time passed. So, obviously, you should never take too long a time writing a story. It is true that Snow Babies is the best novel I have ever written, and I count Sing Sad Songs, The Baby Werewolf, and When the Captain Came Calling among my best work. And I only spent one year in the writing of Aeroquest, which is, ironically, the worst thing I have ever written. So, you can see that following any advice Mickey might give you about taking your time with writing is obviously worthless. I took too long writing and publishing my best books, and that is why I will die a penniless, unknown writer.

But I admit to having even more bad advice to warn you not to take. More, I think, than I can put into this one post. So, I will Part-Two this particular essay and take up the topic again in the very near future. Or forget all about it completely. It has to be one of those.

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Filed under feeling sorry for myself, humor, NOVEL WRITING, Paffooney, surrealism, writing teacher