
If you are a budding talent and future Batman villain, there are some simple and easy steps to take that will turn this country completely evil. We are, at present, at the threshold of an evil empire envisioned by Sith Lord Darth Cheney, implemented a little bit by the rodeo clown Junior Bush until he crashed the economy so badly he actually made a black man president, and now seriously enabled by the total takeover of government by the GOP (Greedy Old Pigs). So how do we turn everything to the Dark Side of the Force and Make America Evil Again? There are several simple steps to the process.
- Make America Hate Again
Surely as a super villain you have somebody you utterly hate and pathologically need to get even with. For Twitler it began with Mexicans and continued with any and all Muslims. “They are rapists and criminals and terrorists, and some, I assume, are good people… but wait, those would be the white supremacists and neo-Nazis… so never mind the good ones. Kill their families and build a wall. Sad!” And it was easily expanded to include people of color… any color… except white and orange. You get your rabid-dog followers to beat up anybody with a “Black Lives Matter” sort of message. Even the churches will help you do the work of it. Fundamentalist Christians are fertile ground for the seeds of hate trees. They stopped quite a while ago noticing in the Bible where Jesus said to help the poor and the defenseless, and basically talked bad about the rich. They only pay attention when the Bible talks, in obscure parts of Leviticus, about the kinds of people you should hate. And American gun laws are bearing the fruit of the violence against ordinary and non-rich people. Look at how many were murdered in Las Vegas for the crime of listening to a Country Music concert. And we shall call that a mental health problem, not a gun problem… and then later forget to do anything about mental health problems. Stirring up hate is easy. And sooner or later the guys with all the guns will decide that the people they hate need to die.

2. Make ‘Em Afraid
- There is no motivator like fear. Fear of terrorists, fear of economic collapse like the one in 2008, fear of Mexicans coming across the border to take our jobs… You already have the country hating those bad people, like people of color, people of different religions, and people who are not like us. If it is not easy to see why we should be afraid of those people, stir up some hot poop and fling it at people you know are unstable. Surely there’s a dictator with bad hair and nuclear missiles somewhere (one that is not you) that you can call names and play games of chicken with through military exercises and shows of strength (but not actual penis size… some things need to remain a secret). Promise fire and fury.
3. Remember, the Enemy of My Enemy is My Best Friend

You can really stir up a good batch of evil hot poop if you make friends with former enemies of the country. Who better than Vladie? No, not Vladimir Dracula, the other Vlad… you know, Putin, the KGB guy. You can make money for each other and keep filthy American regulators from preventing that next sweetheart Exxon deal just because the KGB guy poisons people and makes them disappear. What, you think we are so good that we don’t kill people? It’s really the American way. Go into somebody else’s country. Kill them. Take all their valuable stuff.
Where there’s a will, there is a way. These are three easy steps towards the dictatorship of your evil villain-dreams. And remember, lie about everything. Lie so much they start accepting the lies as truth. Stupid people especially will bow down before you and beg you to hurt them, and hurt the people they hate even more.







My wife constantly tells me I am wrong… about everything. And I probably am. So that is not right. And if you think that’s my wife in the picture, you would be wrong. She’s much larger than that in real life.

























Why Mickey Writes
If you are wondering, “How in the Heck can Mickey write nonsense like that essay he wrote yesterday?”, then please be aware that Mickey is pondering that same question.
Seriously, why would a writer publish personal thoughts and allude to personal tragedies? Especially when they are about things that once upon a time nearly killed him? (Please note that when Mickey starts a sentence with “Seriously” it is probably about to lead to a joke, the same way as when Trump says, “Believe me” we should assume he is telling a lie and knows it.)
The answer is simply, writers write stuff. They have to. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be writers.
It is really not something to do to earn fame and fortune. Fame and fortune happen to rare individuals like J. K. Rowling and Steven King… and even Stephanie Meyer, to prove that it is totally random and not based on actual writing talent… except for sometimes.
You write to get your head right about bad things that happen in life. You find that factor in Mark Twain whose infant son died, as well as most of the rest of his family, before him, forcing him to face survivor’s guilt and the notion that life is random and death does not come for you based on any kind of merit system. Charles Dickens wrote about the foibles of his father, on whom he based the David Copperfield character Wilkins Micawber, a man who was overly optimistic and constantly landing in debtor’s prison because of it. He also wrote in his stories about the women he truly loved (who were not, it seems, his wife) one of whom died in his arms while yet a teenager. Dickens’ amused take on the innate foolishness of mankind gave him a chance to powerfully depict great tragedies both large (as in a Tale of Two Cities) and small (as in Oliver Twist). I wrote yesterday’s post based on the connection between the nudity I write about in novels and my own traumatic assault when I was only ten.
You write because you have wisdom, an inner personal truth, that you are convinced needs to be crystallized in words and written down on paper. It isn’t necessarily real truth. Lots of idiots write things and post them in newspapers, blogs, and even books. And it is often true that their inner personal truth is complete hogwash. (But, hey, at least the hogs are cleaner that way.) Still, your wisdom is your own, and it is true for you even if some idiot like Mickey reads it and thinks it is only fit for cleaning hogs.
And you truly do have to write. If I did not write my stupid, worthless novels, all the hundreds of characters in my head would get mad and start kicking the pillars that hold up the structures in my head. I do have structures in my head. My mind is organized in boxes that contain specifically sorted ideas and stories and notions. It is not a festering stew pot where everything is mixed together and either bubbling or boiling with hot places or coagulating in the cold corners. (That is how I picture Donald Trump’s mind. It is certainly not an empty desert like many people think, because deserts don’t explode all over Twitter early in the morning like the stew pot metaphor obviously would.)
And so, I have done it again. I have set down my 500+ words for today and made a complete fool of myself. And why do I do it? Because Mickey is a writer, and so, Mickey writes stuff.
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