Synonyms for Modern Republicans

I promise not to use profanity and other assorted bad words, which will probably affect the accuracy of my synonym picking.  But it is has come to my attention that people really just don’t know how to label modern Republicans.  Fortunately, I am in a position to offer you warning labels that are at least somewhat useful if you ever have to buy one in a store (assuming, of course, that you have millions to invest and reasonable prospects of using the hard-to-label-accurately products to make even more millions).

Anti-Ironical

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Yes, the modern Republican cannot identify irony.  Irony is when the opposite of what you were led to expect would happen is what actually takes place.  For instance, when a political candidate expresses the will and the plan to “drain the swamp” in the nation’s capitol, and then, when he wins, he hires a racist crocodile as Attorney General, a slimy Wall-Street snake as the Treasury Secretary, and a brainless bayou woodpecker as Secretary of Education, and the average Republican voter applauds the choices as the most expertise and experience for the job.  Who better to control criminals and thugs than a former master criminal?  And you can’t actually accuse Republicans of having a sense of humor and get away with it.  They will punish you for it.  They want to endlessly debate every political cartoon you post on Facebook.

Notzactly Generous

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If you have to ask the fateful question, “Are Republicans generous to others?”  The answer is always a resounding Notzactly!  They are willing to give great gobs of wealth to certain select individuals.  That would, of course, be the Walmart heirs, the Koch Brothers, Mark Cuban, assorted other billionaires, and, inexplicably, Jay-Z.  But when it comes to food stamps in the SNAP program, why, those lazy individuals don’t deserve hand-outs just because they cannot feed their families on the income from two full-time jobs.  They should get another job… or two, and pull themselves up by their own  bootstraps (a metaphor which apparently breaks the law of gravity, in the total absence of anyone willing to throw a rope from above).

Undoo Obama-ist

peel repeal

Any idea that is tainted by snowflake commie Democratic Obama flavor must be overturned.  If the previous administration passed a healthcare reform law borrowed from the Heritage Foundation and Mitt Romney’s successful Massachusetts healthcare plan, then it is the worst disaster ever and must be repealed even if you leave the people with nothing to take its place.  If Obama changed the curtains in the Oval Office, they must be changed again for gold ones to please the orange one who took Obama’s place.  And if Obama passed a regulation to prevent pouring coal-plant waste directly into rivers, then the regulation must be de-regulated because we obviously need more coal plant waste in our rivers.  Anything done by Obama or Democrats during the last administration must now be immediately undone.

Loud-angry Voice-inators

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No matter how stupid or destructive an idea is in the modern Republican party, it can be pushed through easily because it is backed by the loudest, angriest voices spewing their gaseous brain products through the media and government platforms.  Take for instance a particularly loud and bug-eyed red-faced crank like Congressman Steve King of Iowa.  His message gets through to voters.  Everybody knows his name.  He has achieved this by saying cruel and racist things from his bully pulpit.  You probably remember how he claimed that Mexicans that had calves like cantaloupes were carrying hundred pound backpacks full of drugs across our borders.  And, of course, this is an important message to Iowans because of Iowa’s long border with Mexico.   But the message was loud and public enough to have a Tea Party impact on the national dialogue, where ideas are repeated often enough to be taken as fact, no matter how stupid and destructive they are.

So here are a few words that are synonyms for modern Republicans.  And to them, these will probably not be taken as insults, because they agree with the definitions if you explain them well enough.

 

 

8 Comments

Filed under angry rant, cartoons, feeling sorry for myself, humor, irony, Liberal ideas, politics, satire

8 responses to “Synonyms for Modern Republicans

  1. I do like the idea of re-peeling the potatoes.

  2. As an independent, who has been a member of both parties, both sides have issues. But, it is not a normal distribution. The craziness and inanity is more heavily weighted to my most recent former party, the GOP. With its own network and shock jocks, the 50 yard line has been moved to the 35 on the right where we seem to hold public debate.

    Climate change is not a Democrat issue, it is an issue for the world, e.g. The ACA is largely based on a GOP idea and is actually working OK, but needs improvements and not sabatoging as done by the GOP Senate to defund most adverse selection payments in 2016 and 2017 causing insurers to leave the market, increase premiums even more and sue the federal government for money owed.

    We need to stop the war on science, data and the media. The biggest purveyor of fake news sits in the oval office.

    • I am deeply concerned that the Democratic party is so weak and ineffective now that they cannot properly operate. I need to do a synonym list for them soon. There is no balance and useful debate any more, only angry Republican impositions that cost those of us in the middle class more than we can afford to pay.

      • Dems have an overall better message and results. While the President gets too much credit and blame for the economy, they do provide headwinds or tailwinds. Comparing 12 Dem and 12 GOP White Houses dating back to 1921 before Trump, the number of jobs created under Dems more than double that under the GOP. Plus, the economy and stock market so much better under Dems. Fact of the matter, Obama handed Trump an economy in the midst of the 2nd longest growth period in our history and very low unemployment which continues, whereas Obama was handed one in recession.

        Dems are lousy marketers. They need to tell the American people that they are the party of jobs

      • We also need Democrats who won’t sell out their principles to corporations. I was really disappointed when Cory Booker voted the way big Pharma paid him to on the question of allowing Americans to purchase cheaper meds from Canada. He was a Dem I admired until that point.

      • It was not Booker’s finest hour, but there are a lot of pharmas in NJ. Money abounds in politics on both sides. Booker remains one of the Dems best candidates for President and Clinton should have picked him as her VP candidate.

      • I agree, but he owes me an effort to win me back.

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