Canto 133 – Pink Space Cadillacs
The Super Rooster’s docking bay was filled with all the air/rafts, grav speeders, and small vehicles that Shen Ming had been able to muster from the city of Kiro and surrounding areas on the planet. They were not exactly the most up-to-date technology in space, but they would do.
Four of the grav speeders were designed by an old interstellar vehicle company called Space Cadillacs. Two of those were gray and white, while the other two were pink and white.
Shu Kwai was busy lifting boxes of equipment with his telekinesis and placing them into the cargo spaces of the speeders.
Hassan Parker was busy watching and “supervising.”
Gyro looked at the pink Cadillacs with considerable curiosity. “These things have a cockpit open to space. How do we ride in something like that?”
“In our space suits, Smurf,” said Billy. “The ones you altered to fit us.”
“Oh, sure. I hope we don’t get swallowed by blossoms again.”
“That was actually a spaceship’s air lock, Gyro.”
“Oh, yeah. But it was certainly icky.”
“Ha, where did you get a word like icky?”
“Some of you guys are real nerds, Billy. You use lots of weird words like that. And the Galactic English was put directly in my brain by Sara’s telepathy.”
“These pink Cadillacko thingies, Billy… I kinda like the look of them. Do we get to drive them?”
“Well, I might. You would just crash one, Gyro. You can’t drive to save your life. Remember that grav-bike on Pan Galactica Five during the War?”
“It’s not fair to bring that up. We crashed because it took too long to figure out what you were saying to me.”
“Yeah, it’s much easier to talk to you now. It’s like you were born speaking Galactic English.”
“And that stupid bike thingy wouldn’t fly when I gave it a command.”
“That’s because you have to turn it on and use the proper controls in the proper way.”
“Nebulonin kanjeriey are so much easier to use. You just tell them what you want to do or where you want to go and they fly there.”
“Those are the space-bird things that Nebulons use to get from the space-whale cruisers to the planet, right?”
“Or anywhere else you want to go. They are much smarter than your Cadillackos.”
“It’s pronounced Cadillacs, Gyro. And your space-birds are alive, aren’t they?”
“Very much so. Born on gas planets, they fly in space, or they fly in atmosphere. They carry their own oxygen-nitrogen fields with them. Hassan could ride one through space totally naked and be fine, protected from the vacuum of space.”
“Yeah. I don’t understand Classical Worlders either. Why would anybody prefer to be naked all the time?”
“You remember we almost had to live like that back at Dr. Crushcracker’s school? It was a boarding school for Classical Worlds kids. They wanted you to go to school naked.”
“My worst nightmare. I’m glad your dad got us out of there. It was just too weird.”
“Yeah, well… we had to leave there because of our skin color. We were hated for it.”
“Really? Because of my brown skin?”
“Not really. Because of my family’s blue skin. We were hostile aliens to them. They wanted to treat us as no better than the faceless ones.”
“I’m sorry about that. It’s just stupid to think you and Jor and your Mom are not like the rest of us just because your skin is blue.”
“Well, and you and I are different too because of our Psion heads. That’s what the Zaranians wanted to hang us for.”
“Yeah. Thank the gods for Shan’s Prophecy and the Zaranian who saved us with it.”
“Anyway… Billy? Would you teach me to drive one of those cool Cadillackos if I could make it have an energy-field and an atmosphere just like a space-bird?”
“You can do that?”
“I can now that Ged-sensei has trained us to get everything we possibly can out of our Psion powers. It should be easy to make a field-generator that mimics the field-gland of a Nebulonin kanjeriey… um, space-bird.”
“In that case, I can teach you drive anything. Especially a pink Cadillac. I’ll have you driving it even better and with more style than Elvis the Cruel.”
“That famous pirate pilot?”
“Yeah, that’s him.”
“Thank ya, thank ya very much!”
“Oh, stop it! You didn’t do that right.” As the driver’s training plan ended, Shu Kwai nearly dropped a crate on Hassan’s head, not because he couldn’t control it, but because the boy who was supervising was simply insufferable.
Catch a Falling Star 
Comedy is My New Religion
I have been a Methodist, a Jehovah’s Witness, an Atheist, an Agnostic, and a fool who read the I-Ching, Book of Changes, thinking he is smart enough to understand more than a word or two.
At least one of those religions rejected me before I rejected it.
So, it’s not as if I am shopping for a new religion.
What is a religion anyway?
If I understand anything at all about religion, it would have to be this; A religion is merely a prescription for how you should live your life prescribed by a doctor who can’t prove any more of it than you can, but thinks he can because he’s recognized a magical spark inside himself, a tiny piece of the imperceptible Devine, and thinks he is then qualified to tell you what it should mean to you when you recogmize it in yourself.
;;;
;;;
And if I know anything at all about Comedy, other than the instinctive knowledge of how to laugh, it is also only because I have recognized a Devine spark in it and now have to be humble enough to admit that I don’t have anywhere near enough malpractice insurance to get away with prescribing it to you as a cure for the ailments of your own little life-force in the vast, star-filled universe provided by a laughing Deity.
But it does provide the answers and the cures we seek for the unhappy twistings in our souls.
Comedy, as practiced by the greats, doesn’t provide a cure for death, as other religions do, or claim to. But it does deal with the malady of mortality by helping us be less serious, and laughing in the face of ultimate disaster.
And have you ever noticed that those who might be Jesus in this religion of the chuckle, those who sacrifice their life totally to try and take away our troubles by making us laugh, those like Charlie Chaplin, Emmitt Kelly, Groucho Marx, Robin Williams… are really fundamentally sad people who suffered greatly in life to bring us the forgiveness of our sins in the form of mirth?
So, Comedy is my new religion. I will practice it as piously and as reverently as anyone can practice such an inherently impious and irreverent thing. I have not led a perfectly happy life. But I have found healing for my happiness in the laughter of others, and so I seek to create more of it. And laugh some myself as well.
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