Today, school starts, and my two over-large babies are toddling off to two different campuses on opposite sides of the city. My wife, of course, is still teaching and has a job to get to, so the responsibility for getting happy little kids to happy little schools (more accurately, big, nasty-smelling gathering spots for belligerent and borderline delinquent teenagers) is mine alone.
Seriously, it was not a good way to start the day. I got out of bed feeling moderately ill as the mold spores in the air have been heavy enough to really give the gift of swelling to my COPD restricted lungs. I grabbed breakfast, an egg burrito with salsa, and quickly discovered the salsa had at least three ingredients in it that I am allergic to (not fatally allergic like a peanut allergy, just GAWD-I-HAVE-TO-VOMIT!!! allergic).
I got in the car after delivering my breakfast to the upstairs toilet, and was only a pale shade of green still, when wifey calls the Princess and I, three blocks down the road, and makes us come back for a first-day-of-school photo, which she now possesses ten of, kindergarten through ninth grade. So, still determined to get there early, a new school that I had never taken a kid to before, we immediately ran into a pile of rush-hour traffic on Josey Lane. The road crew had put out cones to indicate another mindless digging project so they could laugh at fuming, frustrated motorists while they stood by the side of the road and had donuts and coffee. The school is less than a mile from my house, but the traffic jam was easily going to last for an hour or more and make us late, so we executed plan B. I used Google Maps to chart a route that was only three times as long, and we got there in about fifteen minutes.
But the school parking lot was a worse design for drop-offs than the one I had been teaching at for seven years before I retired. It had loads of entry access, but limited exits. In other words, it is a place for parents and old elephants to go when they are ready to die. It might’ve been easier to get out of if there hadn’t been so many old junk cars with human skeletons in them dispersed throughout the parking lot. 45 minutes later, I got out, but not before the engine overheated on my little Ford pony. And I just had a new coolant pump and thermostat put in a week ago. Ah, well… this is going to be an interesting year.