Thank God I Wasn’t Born a Republican

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Yes, I know my parents were both Eisenhower Republicans back in the 1950’s when I was born.  But Iowa was always far enough removed from the racial tensions of the South and the Southwest to keep me mostly insulated from the politics of hate.  Besides, the bad guys were Southern Democrats back then.  John Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson turned them all into Republicans by declaring that black people and Hispanic people were a part of that “All men are created equal” nonsense referred to by left wingers as the “Civil Rights Movement”.   Dwight Eisenhower warned us against “the Military-Industrial Complex”.  In the 80’s the Reagan Republicans embraced the “M.I.C.” as an essential part of free-market capitalism.   Poor President Eisenhower would not recognize his party today.  Today they stand for giving tax breaks to the wealthy and the corporations that make them wealthy.  As well as standing for taking food stamps away from poor families who haven’t earned them because they only work two or three minimum-wage jobs.  We can’t afford to be giving money away to people who probably do work harder than corporate CEO’s who make tens of thousands of dollars a minute, but their work is obviously not as valuable.

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Sarah Palin was recently resurrected to comment on the Republican debate of 12/15/2015.

Sarah Palin says the front-runners in Iowa, (Donald Trump and Ted Cruz) would both make a good next president from the Republican-Tea-Party point of view.  Horrors!  The scary thing is, not only do these Republican opinion-leaders really believe things Sarah Palin says, they may actually be less intelligent than she is.  Ted Cruz would like to implement a uniform 17% flat tax.  This actually sounds good to Republican ears.  Poor Republicans don’t seem to realize that it will allow the wealthy to pay even less in taxes.  Paying 17% instead of 35% means millions, if not billions of extra dollars to pocket for Donald Trump, Mitt Romney, and the Koch Brothers.  It will also mean that middle-income and poor people will be paying a larger percent of everything the government spends.  Hence, reduced spending falls on social safety-nets and anything else that costs money but benefits people who are not rich.  In fact, Republicans will insist on increasing military spending, so the economy is probably doomed to depths deeper than the Great Recession of 2008.

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Donald Trump is too often tempted to lash out with opinions apparently influenced by the full moon.

The issue of immigration is still the thing that galvanizes the Republican base the most.  Fear of foreigners, Muslims, and Mexicans are equated with fear of murderers, rapists, and terrorists.  It is a roaring flame of fear that is being fanned not only by Donald (ook!) Trump, but also every Republican candidate.  Some of them, though, use slightly less oily words than the Donald (ook-ook!) when fanning those flames.  The good news for people like me who hope no Republican can beat whoever the Democratic nominee is, resides in the fact that Marco Rubio, the candidate most likely moderate enough to win it all, will never be the Republican nominee because he’s too soft on immigration (“too soft” meaning that he actually wants a process approved for immigrants to become citizens, something the Republican base fiercely opposes.

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I really think the only way a Republican can win the Presidency is if they start slicing and dicing the candidates they have, and sewing up a new composite candidate that has the best of all of them.  John Kasich’s common sense is only 25% evil.  They could use that.  Rubio’s immigration views are only heartless when it comes to Muslims.  They desperately need a heart, even if it does only beat half the time.  Ted Cruz could contribute the fearlessness needed in a leader, although to use the immense brass balls in the construct would require an almost anatomically impossible large empty space to keep them in… like maybe Donald Trump’s head (although the ego would have to be extracted from it to make room).  They could also use Rand Paul’s hair for comic relief.  The only drawback to the plan, as made obvious by the most recent debate performance, is that their candidate would be made entirely from monster parts.

8 Comments

Filed under humor, politics

8 responses to “Thank God I Wasn’t Born a Republican

  1. Decency, honor, God,morals,principals ,family life and values,patriotism,respect life, honor the elders, and authenticity .Which one you don’t like ?????

  2. Hate , division ,racism, same sex bonds,abortion, euthanasia,drop out,teens pregnancy ,and vulgarity .Which one you don’t approve ?????

  3. I just got off the phone with the folks back in Iowa. We lamented the fact that old moron Branstad was still in office after all these years. I remarked that, what with all the shootings lately, you’d think somebody would have taken care of that by now. We laughed for ten minutes.

  4. It’s an ironic title. I was born Republican. I approve of all of those real Republicans of the past. It’s the policies being debated and the candidates putting them forward today I don’t like.

  5. I have been a Republican and Democrat and am now an Independent voter who votes for both Republicans and Democrats. I would define myself as many Independents do as a socially progressive, fiscally conservative person. I left the GOP back in 2006 for many of the reasons you note above, as the party had strayed from its identity to garner votes from more strident voters. That was nine years ago and it has only gotten more extreme. Ronald Reagan and Ike would have a difficult time winning in the new GOP.

    Yet, we do need a viable GOP and not what it has become. We need to get back to collaboration, which to some is seen as a dirty word. Reagan and Clinton were huge collaborators, e.g. and both had success as president. I was pleased to see that we did get some bipartisan legislation through Congress the last few weeks. Paul Ryan should be commended (and John Boehner, as well for greasing the skids). Compromises were made, but legislation occurred. Is it perfect? No. But, it is much better than someone beating on their chest and nothing getting done.

    • There is much to regret about the modern Democratic party too. There are many things to complain about. I am a progressive and a liberal too now. No more room for preserving what was in the grand conservative tradition. With issues like climate change we must change our ways or die. Change is not in my nature, but neither is dying quietly in a cloud of hot poisonous gasses as we turn Earth into an exact copy of Venus.

      • Agreed on all counts. I spoke at a hearing last night on our state’s poor attempt at a Clean Power Plan and it was wonderful to see the informed opinions on the need to act. We can ill-afford a president who does not recognize what the rest of the world sees as a major problem. My comments last night are per the World Economic Forum 2015 Global Risks Report which states the two greatest risks over the next 10 years are the 1) Global water crisis and 2) failure to address climate change. Fossil and nuclear fuels contribute to a water problem, which exists without climate change, but will be made worse with it.

      • Goodness! You have cheered me up by explaining how much worse the problem is than I used to think. Cheered me up because, at least, people like us are trying to do something about it.

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