Psoriasis, the Disease of Choice for Sith Lords and Zombies


Of all my six incurable diseases, psoriasis is the one least likely to kill me, and also the one I hate the most.  It tortures me daily and makes me wish I could take off all of my skin and switch it out for an entirely new set, like a suit of clothes.  Seriously, does it come in Brad Pitt?  How about blue?  That would be special.


Psoriasis, for those of you lucky enough not to know this, is a skin disease where the skin develops little volcanoes of dead skin cells.  They become white or silvery or red flaky patches that continually erupt, crack, and embarrass me to no end.  People like me who suffer from the disease become rather paranoid about letting our spots show.  I look like a pink and white Dalmatian at times, and I end up wearing long sleeved shirts in summertime Texas where it gets to be 104 degrees in the shade on a regular basis.  No more swimsuits for me.  No more shaving or haircuts either.  I accept being called a hippie or a dirty bum now because it is easier than making people understand about my disease and its consequences.  I itch constantly.  Whole areas of my body burn with skin irritation and make people draw back in horror if they see it, mostly because of the erroneous perception that I might infect them too.sith skin

It is a disease of the body’s immune system, and it can’t be transmitted by contact in any way.  It is more of an inherited thing passed on from my parents or grandparents… though it probably was greatly aided in plaguing me because I am also diabetic.  I cannot infect anyone with the disease… though I don’t enjoy the reaction I get when someone sees the large patch of psoriasis I have on my lower back.    It is a horrible, decayed-looking open sore that takes practically forever to go away.  I also enjoy a healthy crop of psoriasis patches on my private parts… the reason I often spend alone time sitting naked at the computer, writing and complaining about stuff, and trying to be funny about stuff like death and psoriasis, while all the time trying to avoid the urge to scratch and make it worse.  There is probably a snowbank of dead skin flakes under my bed by now… I’m afraid to look and see what might be growing under there.  If I decided to be a Sith Lord like Darth Vader, I don’t have to burn off all of my skin before I put on the suit.  The crusty patches and scarring are already in place for the big take-off-the-helmet scene.  I could also probably win a part on the Walking Dead TV show because I wouldn’t need as much skin make-up.  But I would certainly be willing to forgo these wonderful opportunities if there were a way to suddenly get rid of this disease.  Unfortunately, I think that is not exactly what the word “incurable” has in mind.

So what’s the point of sharing this beyond the gratuitous gross-out value of the humor?  Well, that’s probably exactly what I had in mind, but I hope you will also realize that I am not the only person in the world who has this disease.  Many people have it worse than I do.  Children have it far more often that seems fair by the standards of karma.  Maybe, when you meet someone who has the problem, you could be a little nicer to them.  They are not lepers or plague-carriers.  They are not infectious.  And they could use a little more understanding…a little more love.


Filed under humor, Paffooney, psoriasis

15 responses to “Psoriasis, the Disease of Choice for Sith Lords and Zombies

  1. My heart goes out to you! I’m sorry to hear of your discomfort–that’s the pits. And thank you for clearing it up about it not being infectious…I never thought it was, but it’s important to offer up information like this in the event that you set just one person straight about the whole thing. Is there nothing at all that can be done to help you feel more comfortable? Is there a way to boost your immune system? A naturopathic doctor, perhaps?

    • I can treat the symptoms. Hot baths with bath salts help ease away the dead skin build-ups and lots of things soothe the itch (while making the affected areas sting). But like any incurable disease it can only be managed, not cured. Fortunately, with six incurable diseases, I have become somewhat expert at disease management. That is a main reason for sharing this subject, so that others might gain from my hard-earned knowledge.

      • Hello, my friend, I found this post online here:


        I suffered with Psoriasis for 6 years. It affected my whole life to the point that I just didn’t want to live anymore. I battled with severe scalp psoriasis and had plaque psoriasis from my face all the way down to the bottom of my legs. No part was left unaffected.

        One day a colleague told me about a book she had read about in a newspaper and she showed me the article knowing how I was suffering. The book they were talking about was called Healing Psoriasis by John O. A Pagano DC. The book talked about various techniques of flushing the stomach of the toxins causing the Psoriasis. These I have to say I didn’t take up. However, it also talked about various foods which should be avoided at all costs. These included potatoes or any food with potato or potato starch in, tomato or anything with tomato ingredient in, no peppers or paprika. There is a host of other things in there to get rid of Psoriasis and keep it away which have been worth their weight in gold to me. I got this book online just under a year ago and my Psoriasis has now completely gone. I still have to stick to the regime of no potatoes and tomatoes etc otherwise my face and arms start to get a bit red and patchy but I am so relieved not to have the itchy patches anywhere. I was spending £21 a week on prescriptions trying desperately to control the problem, now I don’t have to have any prescriptions. It’s been a total breakthough for me!!

        I was just wondering if you had tried modifying your diet…you know the expression, “Let food be thy medicine and medicine thy food”? I read somewhere recently that 95% of illnesses are related to lifestyle factors and am wondering if you could feel more empowered if a few shifts were made. Forgive me if I’m sounding know it all–my intention is really to be of some help, if possible. Best wishes to you! 🙏🏼

      • Thanks. This has some helpful information.

  2. Went to the dermatologist, had a painful and expensive test, just to tell me I have eczema. Or dermatitis. Or whatever. (And now I have nerve damage in that finger.)

    Available treatments don’t appear promising, and some are rather scary. I decided to stick with petroleum jelly. It protects the skin and keeps it from getting dry enough to crack. I don’t know if it will help with psoriasis, and your condition may only respond to prescription medications, but I thought I’d mention it. 🙂

    • Thanks for the heads up. I do use skin cremes and such to hydrate and protect, but nothing works long enough. The prescription stuff is too expensive… and it doesn’t work long enough. When it can only be used every four hours, it is worthless when it wears off after one hour.

  3. The disease that keeps on giving. I am sorry you have to endure this. May you receive other blessings to make up for this. All the best, BTG

  4. I feel your pain. Lupus has affected my skin for years but I’ve been blessed not to have a break out on my face. My legs and hands are usually the affected parts.

  5. WeeRedSpots

    I totally know what you’re going through. Psoriasis Association in the UK and National Psoriasis Federation in USA have a wealth of information on their sites. For long lasting relief from the itch, try yellow soft paraffin, I loved it when I was at my worst!

  6. Hi! Please email me at I would love to chat with you and possibly share your story with my readers. There millions of us psoriasis sufferers out in the world and sometimes a good laugh is the difference between good sleep and an awful night of counting sheep. Thank you!

  7. I have had it on my ankles for years.

    • I have it on my arms, legs, behind, and under my jawline, and on the back of my neck. Mine is moderate plaque psoriasis. So you are lucky if you only have it on your ankles. Mine, though is complicated by my diabetes which caused it to increase in severity the last few years.

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