Cold, Hard Truth

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At the snowy end of a cold, hard week… I have some facts to face.  As a family we are suffering from anxiety disorders, depression, and other mental health issues.  And my family is coming apart at the seams.  You may have noticed that much of the joy… the love, and life, and laughter… has gone out of my recent posts.  We are breaking up.  We are not staying together as a family.  I am not spending much time feeling sorry for myself about it.  I have known the potential consequences for quite some time.  You can’t pull the family wagon over the next hill when one horse is pulling to the west, another goes east, and two more go south.  Families often come apart with age.  Children leave the nest.  Sometimes you push them out so they will start flying on their own.  But sometimes they plummet to the ground and break a wing.  Sometimes they break two wings when foxes are prowling nearby.  We have had too much pushing and plummeting this week.  Words have been spoken that I wish were not.  Fires have been lit not to keep us warm, but to burn things down.  And the snow is still coming down.  I will be all right.  I do not fly away when the winter comes.  I will stand by my children for as long as my legs will hold me upright.  And if you have read this far in this gloomy, grisly post, don’t be sad for me.  Happy times we all enjoy make good memories, but the hard times hammer us into stronger, more tempered steel.  Life is a great forge, and we are all under the hammer of God.

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Remember, the cardinal is my personal symbol because he is the little, bright-red bird who doesn’t fly away when the winter comes.  Cardinals bring warm red colors to coldest of winter days.

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Filed under autobiography, insight

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