School is approaching. A new school year. Looming chaos. And for the first time since 1981 I won’t be participating as a teacher. I have retired. I knew all the crying and goodbye-ing at the end of last school year was not the worst of it. The worst is now. No classroom to prepare. No new names to learn. No endless hours of in-service training where principals and experts blah-blah-blah endlessly. (Okay, I don’t miss everything.) But I am not dead, merely retired. I should not have to feel so bad and left out. Still, I linger in bed in the mornings, and I really don’t feel blessed by being retired. I know many, many teachers who live for the day when they can retire. They count the hours. Not me. I had to retire because of poor health and money woes. But I taught long enough to get a full pension, and should not have to worry for whatever years I have left. But it makes me sad not to be there. I miss it. And life will never be the same.
Tag Archives: regret
One More Day…
So, I have three more classes on a day that ends at 1:00 tomorrow… Then no more being a teacher for the rest of my life. Am I happy? Ah, no… I have been a teacher for 31 of the last 33 years. I was a substitute teacher for the two years in between job two and job three. I do not know how to regulate the rhythms of my life without a daily bell schedule, without hallway duty, without discipline referrals, without restroom passes and library privileges. What will I do come Monday? I guess I will remember how much it is in my blood… in my genes… in my very soul. And I will never actually stop being a teacher. I just will have no more class. Ee-hee-hee-hee-hee (snort! Snort!)
Being A Teacher
I now only have four days left in my teaching career. I am swiftly reaching the end. I need to savor just a little bit. I will soon be retired and a classroom will never be the place where I do my best work again. I can reach and teach still, but my health holds me back. I can barely present for ten minutes any more. I end up gasping for breath and needing to sit. I have never been a teacher who sits behind the desk. I am always stalking the entire classroom and working over the shoulder of the kid with the question. Okay, I can’t do the work any more… so it is the right thing to retire and let others in better shape take over. I’m dreading the end, but soon I will have to embrace it whole.

