Tag Archives: poetry

Fog in the City (a melancholy poem)

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It doesn’t come in on cat feet.

That’s probably Chicago you’re thinking of.

It comes in on the sound of screeching tires…

and ambulance sirens…

because of all the idiot drivers…

in their silver-gray WASP rockets…

that don’t know how to slow down…

or turn on their low beams…

for safety in the big, cold city of Dallas…

where the air is yellow…

except in the fog…

and rush, rush, rush…

business never waits…

for a foggy day.

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Baring the Soul of Creativity

CreativitySo, I finished the Paffooney pencil drawing that I was working on to illustrate my struggles with the creative act.  I can noodle on the piano to some effect, but I cannot play Chopin’s Prelude in E Minor the way the boy (or is it a girl?) in the picture is doing it.  What I can do is create a symphony of words and pictures that reveal my inner self as thoroughly as if I were performing naked in front of the audience.  So what you see here is not the real naked me.  It is, rather, my naked thoughts, my soul, the beauty that is hidden inside my hideously aged and peeling flesh.  Inside my mind is beauty and rhythm and rhyme…  On the inside you can see what is there without the usual patina of pain and depression and pessimistic pondering.  I have explained the naked piano player, but you may be wondering still about the butterfly.  You see, long ago when I was a butterfly hunter, I longed to catch the tiger swallowtail that flitted about our back yard and played about the neighbors’ hollyhocks.  It was a very elusive butterfly, you see.  Monarchs and red admirals, mourning cloaks, fritillaries, painted ladies, and even spicebush swallowtails I had captured and mounted in my butterfly box.  But never the tiger.  He always seem to flit too high above my net at the last moment.  I would see him towards the tops of towering maples, but rarely within reach, and never long enough to grab him in my net.  So, one day, I was sitting under the little maple in the back yard, reading a book, when the tiger swallowtail came to light on the back of the hand I used to hold my book.  Now, I could have grabbed him right there.  I would have been victorious.  But in clapping my left hand over him to capture him, his wing dust might have smeared, or his lovely wings might’ve cracked and broken.  I had to make an instant decision.  I chose to let him flutter away.  I did not crush the butterfly, and so… my life, my art, my inner self have all benefited.  To this day I can say… “I did not crush the butterfly” and that has made me who I am.

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A Poem Is…

When you try to create a poem,

You find out that it is…

A cry of rage…

From your very soul…

Or a deep-bellied laugh…

From your very soul…

Or an untamable sadness and tears…

From your very soul…

And you cannot help but put it into words…

From your very soul.

Poem Is

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A Poem Is…

When you try to create a poem,

You find out that it is…

A cry of rage…

From your very soul…

Or a deep-bellied laugh…

From your very soul…

Or an untamable sadness and tears…

From your very soul…

And you cannot help but put it into words…

From your very soul.

Poem Is

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The Butterfly

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I was but a child, a butterfly landed on my hand.  I wanted to capture it.  But I knew, if I closed my hand fast enough to snatch it out of the air as it tried to escape, I would utterly smash it.  The important thing, the most important thing still until this very day, is that I let it fly away.  I did not crush the butterfly.

(Not exactly a poem, but not prose either…)

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Laughing Blue

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Griselda by Maxfield Parrish

One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in the art world are the paintings of Maxfield Parrish.  That’s why this post needs to be about his work instead of mine.  He made his mark painting ads for tire companies and on the ends of orange crates.  The secret to his melancholy beauty is the cobalt blue underpainting he always did.  Of course, the dominant color over all is a ghostly, iridescent blue.  It fills his paintings with quiet grace and powerful emotions.  I love that laughing blue quality more than any other thing I’ve ever seen in the realm of art.
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I love to use the term “laughing blue”.  It’s an oxymoron that sums up me better than any other descriptive phrase.  It is the laughter that goes on so long and so hard that it causes tears, and at the same time it is the sobbing that eventually becomes uncontrollable laughter.  Sweet-sad  feelings of  love and longing,  piles  of  smiles  that  stretch  for  miles.  Nothing is better or wiser or more filled with life.

 There was the time when the church youth group put on the Halloween Carnival.  I had won a blue, helium-filled balloon at the ball toss when beautiful Alicia was watching.  She smiled at me.  It was such a perfect moment that I had to savor it the best I could.  I gave my friend six tickets to put me in jail.  It was two tickets to get in.  Someone had to pay four tickets to get you out.  Tickets were a nickel each.  I figured my friend would leave me in there for a while so I could just sit and contemplate that balloon. I was right.  Mark spent the four tickets at the cake walk.  He won a cake.

In the jail was a little boy, the son of the local barber, who had a bright red balloon.  His mother had put him in the jail as a joke.  He was four years old, I believe, about the same as my little brother David.  His name was Tommy.  Some laughing-jackal teenage boys came past the jail.  One of the doody-heads had a safety pin.  Bang!  The red balloon was no more.  The high school doody-heads took off cackling with glee.  Tommy burst out in tears for his lost balloon.  His mother, outside the chicken-wire cage, was beside herself, pleading for the gatekeeper to open up and let her boy out.  Several church ladies zoomed in to see what they could do.  My mother was one of them.  Before they could get into the cage, however, I solved the problem by giving him my blue balloon.  His mother never saw, never realized he had been upset by the loss of his balloon.  She didn’t notice that the balloon he was holding when he left the cage was different than the one he took in.  It didn’t matter.  No one needed to know the sacrifice I made that night.

Later, at home, I cried.  Yes, I know I was twelve years old and too big to cry about a lost balloon.  But it wasn’t really that anyway.  It was that feeling that filled me up.  It was gladness that I had seized the moment to be unselfish and kind though somehow no one else knew it.  It was sorrow over the loss of my connection to that moment when she smiled at me.  It was beauty caused by ugliness.  It was Laughing Blue.

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The innocent sylph bends down to wake her sister, the sleeping nymph.  The morning has broken on a new day.  The painting has existed since the 1920’s, probably his most famous work of all.  He worked from a photograph to paint it.  Several photographs, in fact.  Wouldn’t the authorities be upset now, this man painting a naked girl?  Artist or no, it could look like pornography to many in this day and age.  Ironically, though, the nude person in the photo he used as a model was himself.  It was only a matter of the play of light over the bare form.  It was a matter of innocent yet sensual beauty.  It was a matter of Maxfield Parrish Blue.  The painting itself is far more subtly blue than it appears here.  It is laughing blue.  It is a mix of youth and grief, the birth of the new dawn and the ancient jagged hills behind.  It is flowers and parched rock, waking and dreaming.  The art of it is in the opposition of things, what Confucius meant when he taught of the Yin and the Yang, what Lao Tzu spoke of in the Book of the Tao.  Yes, it was Laughing Blue. 

I wish I had the talent to paint like Maxfield Parrish.  I loved his magazine illustrations and his faery-tale characters.  I loved everything of his I have ever seen, and I have dug up a lot.  He was a prolific artist.  Almost everything he painted is from before I was born.  He died not long after I came into this world.  I am sad that he can paint no more for me, yet I can’t imagine anything he could do that is better than what I’ve already seen.

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In the book The Little Prince the fox says, “It is only by the heart that we can see rightly.  What is essential is invisible to the eye.”  How true that is!  We cannot describe in words the beauty we see in these works of art.  We cannot explain why it is there.  But we know it when we see it.  It is Laughing Blue.

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Open the Golden Door

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This postable Paffooney is really not so wonderfully postable.  It got a little bit moisture damaged in the garage where I found it improperly stored.  It is an oil painting from before I had a family of my own back in the 1980’s.  It is called Madonna of the Golden Door.  The girl is my sister, the younger of my two sisters.  The boy is one of my favorite students from the 1980’s, one I fed and helped raise in addition to being his teacher for two years.
This painting inspired the following silly free verse poem;

Open the Golden Door 

Can a man…

Love a boy?

Not a son,

Not a nephew,

Not an in-law…

Just a boy?

Not for lust,

Not for profit,

Not for gain,

But for the gift…

Of being able…

To teach,

To learn,

To coach,

To cheer,

To mentor,

To shadow,

To see,

To feel,

To reach,

To hug?

Simply to love?

I would say yes…

But what do I know?

I am only a…

Teacher,

Author,

Poet,

Painter,

Wizard,

Instructor,

Confidante,

Mentor,

And Friend.

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One Blue Night

One Blue Night

I was always the one on the outside looking in. The sad fact is, all of us who are too creative and sensitive for our own good feel that way. We wish we had what see in there, but miss the beauty inherent in being on the outside. Stalker… peeping faun… magical wishes… and dreams in the dark blue of the night.

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February 7, 2014 · 3:35 am

Metaphor and Meaning

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In this week’s Paffooney remix, I have pictured the little boy crooner Francois Martin on the main street of Norwall.  Why have I done such a foolish thing?  Why have I drawn a boy singing silently a song that only I can hear in my silly old head?  In fact, why do I label them Cantos instead of Chapters?  Of course, the answer to these rhetorical questions is metaphorical.  I look at my writing as being poetry, or, more accurately, as music rather than mere prose.  It is a metaphor central to my being, writing is putting the inner music of my mind down on paper.

Here is a secret to powerful writing.  Connect ideas with metaphors.  A metaphor is a direct comparison of two unlike things to create an analogy, an echo of an idea that gives resonance to a notion.  Sorry, I’m an English teacher.  It’s in my genes.  But metaphors can serve as the essential connections, as glue to put paragraphs and scenes together.

Let me show you a metaphor.  Here is a short poem, the natural environment where many metaphors live;

                                                The Cookie

Once I had a cookie… But every time I took a bite, It became smaller and smaller…

                With each bite I had less and less cookie left.

But when it was gone, the sweet taste of it…

                Lingered on… as memory.

 

The central metaphor of this poem is comparing the cookie to my life.  I am getting older.  I have six incurable diseases, some of them life threatening.  I have been thinking about mortality a lot lately.  So what is the point of the poem?  That even when the last bite is taken, and there is no more cookie… when I am dead, there is the memory of me.  Not my memory.  The memory of me in the minds of my family, my children, my students, and other people who have come to know me.  That memory makes whatever goodness that is in me worth living for.

Okay, a metaphor explained is kinda like a bug that’s been dissected for a science fair.  Its innards are revealed and labeled.  The beauty is gone.  It’s kinda icky.

What works better, is a metaphor that the readers can readily grasp on their own.  The beauty has to be discovered, not dissected and explained.  Let me try again;

 

                                                The Boy and the Boat

                The boy looked to the horizon where wild and wooly white-caps roiled upon the sea.

                “Lord help me,” he said, “the sea is so large, and my boat is so small…”

 

I can hear what you are thinking.  “That’s too simple and ordinary.  If it’s a metaphor, then it’s a really stupid one.”  Well, I heard someone thinking that, even if it was not you.

Let me add a bit of information to help you connect things as I do.  When I was ten years old, a fifteen-year-old neighbor boy sexually assaulted me.  I told no one.  I was so devasted by the event that I repressed the memory until I reached the age of twenty two.  In high school, my suicidal thoughts and darkest depressions were caused by this event even though I couldn’t even recall.  To this day I have not explained to mother and father what happened.  I can only bring myself to tell you now because my abuser died of heart failure last summer.  It was a life event of overwhelming darkness, pain, and soul scorching.  Now look at “The Boy and the Boat” again.  Has the meaning changed for you the way it does for me?

Now, I know that the last paragraph was a totally unfair use of harsh reality to make a point about metaphor and meaning.  So let me give you one last poem… a sillier one.  You can make of it whatever you will;

 

                                                The Grin

The wrinkly, bewhiskered old man

Had a smile like a plate of moldy spaghetti

In the afternoon sun.

 

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The Thumb-Sucker

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The Thumb-Sucker

 

Darkness surrounds us

As the nighttime moves in

And we feel overwhelmed

And burdened by sin

 

But comfort can come

From a place we’ve all been

Just open your mouth

And shove your thumb in

 

Our childhoods were happy

And made us all grin

And simple we were

With our little thumbs in

 

So as we’re all worried

And all feeling dumb

We can make it all better

By sucking our thumb

 

 

 

(Silly poems and blue cartoons are a specialty of mine.  I’m no Ogden Nash, but I make it all rhyme.)

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