Canto 15 – Beautiful Fur Bikini
Ham and the blue Princess rode into Bedrock proper on the back of their velociraptor. Ged not only looked exactly like the dinosaur, he moved and sounded just as it would. The illusion was perfect.
Bedrock was teeming with unusual activity. Everywhere young people were engaged in buying and trading all sorts of goods, most of which were animals, and all of those were reptiles. Young ladies of fashion were buying bright-colored snakes to drape around their necks. Little monkey-like lizards called Compies were being sold as pets and as remote holo-television controls. People were buying fake plasticized furs of all colors for purposes of all sorts.
“Hello, citizen,” said an apparent policeman in a blue fur with gold insignias. “Isn’t that Dino6476 you’re riding? Where’s Fred3576?”
“Oh, he’s my cousin,” lied Ham quickly. “He loaned me Dino2466 for the day.”
“Oh?” said the officer suspiciously. “That foul-tempered beast always used to eat anyone who tried to ride him but Freddie!”
“Oh, ha-ha,” Ham laughed nervously, “I have a way with animals.”
“…And how about the girl Smurf and the blue brat? You know it’s against the law to bring them into this part of town. They have their own ghetto to live in!”
“Oh! Is that so? I don’t think I like that small-minded attitude.” Ham bristled. He wasn’t in love with the Princess or anything, but he wasn’t going to stand for that sort of rot.
The policeman drew out a large, silly-looking rock caster and aimed it at Ham.
“What! Is that supposed to scare me?”
Suddenly Ham heard a girl’s voice in his head. <“You are very brave, but don’t force the race issue here. I will help you find the ones you seek. I saw Trav Dalgoda, and there’s one I know who will be a far greater help to you than Goofy!”>
“Who are you?” Ham asked of the air around him.
“My name is Cary Granite,” said the policeman, “And you are under arrest!”
Suddenly a beautiful young girl, maybe sixteen years of age, came out of the crowd and approached Officer Granite.
“Don’t shoot!” she cried. Ham noticed how pretty she was in her leopard-skin bikini. “He really is Freddie’s cousin. I can vouch for him. The Smurf girl is his slave, and he forgot about the law in this part of town.”
The officer smiled and nodded. “Of course, Tara, whatever you say.”
The officer put away his hand-held catapult and wandered off as if he’d forgotten all about it already.
“Thanks, Tara,” said Ham. “Why did you lie for me? And how did you know about Goofy?”
The pretty young brunette with barely any clothes on smiled up at the handsome young man with barely any clothes on riding on the back of a carnivore.
“I’m a telepath, Ham. My name is Tara Salongi, and I’m a Psion like your brother Ged.” She nodded toward the velociraptor with the unusually intelligent gaze.
Ham’s mouth dropped open.
“Come with me. I can introduce you to the Psion Master of Don’t Go Here. He’s been waiting for you four to show up for five years. He can teach Ged how to use his power. He can even help the little boy.” She pointed at the naked blue child riding in between Ham and the Princess.
“I don’t understand. How did you know all about us?”
“Master Tkriashav is Clairvoyant. He can look into the future!”