Tag Archives: Iowans

An Anatomy of an Angry Argument (The Stars ‘n’ Bars Controversy)

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I get a little tired of friends, family, and especially online acquaintances calling me a liberal and meaning it as a severe antonym of a compliment.   They are basically conservative by nature and they are trying to hurt my feelings by calling me liberal.  (Or “libtard” or “libturd” or “liberaloon”)  They don’t like my fact-based arguments and strike out at me from the deepest depths of their deeply-held-and-so-long-stored-in-the-same-barrel-that-it-fermented set of conservative beliefs.  Often they pull potentially intoxicating talking points out of the well of watching Fox News and expect me to drink it… even though I know it has intentionally been laced with poison.

I am not offended by the Confederate flag.  It was a part of the Civil War that fascinates me and still stands for the brave regiments of Pickett’s Charge at the Battle of Gettysburg who marched into a hail of cannonball-laced death to prove once and for all that an entire way of life can be destroyed on the battlefield.  It was a terrible tragedy and those men paid the ultimate price for being on the wrong side of that argument.  I believe we should honor them and reconcile ourselves with what  remains of them.  They are indeed still out there.  But we do not have to honor the thing they were fighting for and ended up losing.  Slavery is inherently unjust and evil.  And the racism that is its aftertaste is just as despicable.  It is understandable that in that long gone culture it was normal to view black skin as the sign of an inferior creature.  They treated slaves as working farm animals, like oxen or donkeys.  It is the way they thought of those… actually people… whom they failed to accept as fellow human beings.

I am not offended by the Confederate flag.  But I am upset at the most common uses of it.  Klansmen use it as a symbol of their race-hatred.  They fly it at their protest marches along with the Nazi swastika.  The flag at the South Carolina capitol building went up during the equal rights struggles of the 50’s and 60’s as a defiance of the entire movement.  I am not offended by the flag, but I do not like when it is used as a symbol of redneck America believing they’re better than blacks and Hispanics because their skin is white, and that their conservative white values are superior to the values of Jews, liberals, and intellectuals.  I don’t like being told that their heart-felt hate trumps my nerd-boy thinking-too-much.  I don’t like the way they believe they win the argument by shouting at me in a louder voice than I am capable of shouting back.  (Watch Bill O’Reilly on Fox News and see if he doesn’t do exactly that.)  I don’t like the way they don’t listen to me in the same way that I try hard to listen to them.

People I care about and even love in Iowa are posting things on Facebook about liberals attacking the Confederate flag, and how terrible it is that liberals are trying to take away “our heritage”.  But wait a minute… At the Battle of Shiloh in Missouri, the 5th Iowa Infantry Regiment and the Iowa 13th were embroiled in the Hornets’ Nest, the intense fight all along the “sunken road” that ultimately tipped the horrible battle in favor of the Union.  Iowans were shooting at the Confederate flag.  Many of them were killed by it.  How can that flag possibly be “our heritage“?

I believe the rebel flag is not an appropriate symbol to be used in government buildings or 4th of July parades.  It is a symbol of more than one thing… and some of those things are terrible things.  I am not advocating making the flag illegal in the U.S.  But, consider, the Nazi flag is illegal in Germany.  It is the flag of a defeated rebellion against our government, fought for the purpose of defending the institution of slavery.  Why are my conservative Iowegian friends supporting such a flag?

And I refuse to be insulted by being called a liberal.  Conservative doesn’t mean “good” while liberal means “bad”.  Conservative means wanting to preserve the good things about the past and not change them without good reason.  Liberal means wanting to change things for the better.  I used to be a conservative.  I am only comfortable being a liberal now because conservative powers are trying to protect things that have to change because they are hurting us.  I love all people in general… and I don’t want to see them hurt by their government or their society.  So, if you feel the need to argue in the comments… or if you feel you have to call me a libturd… feel free to do so. But please don’t call me a libturd in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS!!!

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A Matter of Religion

Iowans are simple people and have a simple faith.  We believe in the land and we believe in making things grow.  Whether we use Christian symbols and Republican moral imperatives, or liberal thought experiments laced with atheistic flavors of actual thinking, we all basically accept that we should believe in the land and make things grow.

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The church in the Paffooney picture is a real church in my real little Iowa home town.  Once it was the Congregational Church in Rowan, the second location.  The first Congregational Church building that stood on Main Street burned down before I was ten.  But it didn’t remain pure Congregational.  Little Rowan was not really big enough to support two different churches.  So long about the time when I was wrestling with the fact that I had lust in my heart, and looking at the pretty Congregationalist farm girl two seats ahead of me and the Methodist Minister’s son on the school bus made my soul hurt, the Methodist Church and the Congregational Church were forced to become one church.  They used both church buildings on a weekly rotating basis, using the same minister for both.  It was the Methodist minister, my best friend’s father who got the job of spiritual leader for the entire community.  And there was hell to pay.  Congregationalists hated the idea that the minister was no longer speaking Congregationalist approved Biblical ideas.  And Methodists resented the fact that they had to have their immortal souls saved in the same church building as those unclean Congregationalists.  Heckfire, they didn’t even like taking cold showers as much as Methodists did.  They took them, all right, but didn’t really like them enough.  So religious wars were fought in our little town for decades.  But only in the manner of Iowegian Christians.   Silent wars employing laser-focused glares of righteous disapproval.  Attacks on the other side committed solely with clucking tongues and expressed only to members of the same congregation in places where the other side will never hear of it.  And of course, as children tackling the full range of punitive forces and concepts associated with puberty, we were completely unaware of what was going on behind closed doors.  Fury of Biblical proportions was disrupting the digestion of nearly one quarter of the Yoke Ministry of the United Churches of Rowan, Iowa, and causing innumerable bottles of Milk of Magnesia to be consumed in the middle of the night.  These two Midwestern flavors of Christianity were just too different to co-exist in the same building.  Of course, I couldn’t tell you what the differences actually were.  I still can’t.  But I learned the tremendously terrible and atheistic notion that all Christians are the same, and they all worship the same God, and they are all equally worthy of love.

The scariest thing of all is this.  I went on from the religious wars of Rowan, Iowa in the late 1960’s and the early 1970’s to living in a community in South Texas where the two sides were Hispanic Catholics versus Southern Baptists.  I got married to a Jehovah’s Witness, and tried very sincerely for a while to be a Jehovah’s Witness.  I taught kids who were Catholic, Baptist, Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist.  And scariness comes with the realization that I still believe “they are all equally worthy of love.”  Atheists too, for that matter.  I am sorry that atheists are not crazy enough to actually talk to God.  There is comfort on so many levels with the ability to speak to an invisible mythological father.  And I speak to Him daily.  So what is my real religion?  I am not sure.  But Valerie Clarke in the church Paffooney agrees with me (because I totally created her and she has no choice); the church parking lot is a great place for skateboards.

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