Tag Archives: humor

Some Days the Loonies Are Out

Some Days the Loonies Are Out

Here is a study in Looniness… I have always wondered where the edge is… the border between silly, cute, and creepy. I believe I have found it with this bizarro character study. I attempted to add to the effect by making characters seem unbalanced, off kilter, and even growing out of other characters’ ears. The background pulls at your perceptions and senses as much as the primary objects do. And so… I pull a Salvador Dali with a mixed bag of Dr. Seuss, Disney, and Warner Brothers. Melting and fused toons in place of watches and human bodies. If this isn’t surreal, then I don’t know what is. Okay, I admit it. I don’t know what is!

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March 26, 2014 · 1:26 am

Window On The Past

Window On The Past

This is a photo of Clan Mickey as it was, not as it is. I’m the porky blue one wearing the beat up old cowboy hat. The Filipina next to me is my lovely wife. Dorin on my right… Henry leaning on Mom… and The Princess with her head on my shoulder. They are all much bigger and scarier now than they were then. I posted this most likely because this photo was lost, but I found it while I was at home sick yet again with a painful malady.

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March 25, 2014 · 12:24 am

The Wizard Of Firecastle

The Wizard Of Firecastle

This Paffooney is of a game-character wizard. After a hellish weekend of ill health and stress from family and job, I feel much like I am him. My wisdom comes from walking through fires that burned me black. My magic is made from fighting fire with fire. I will continue to walk in the ways of a wizard. My magic is meant to spare folks from my fate by humor and anecdote. But I know that for many, the most I can do is help them recognize the experience and be able to call it by name. I hope that gives them power over it.

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March 23, 2014 · 9:43 pm

Player #3

Player #3

Over the years as a teacher, you run into a large number of students that you will absolutely fall in love with. And sometimes… they will fall in love with you also. Oh, my! What a potentially dangerous situation! But it doesn’t have to end in hurt feelings or criminal charges. Sometimes you find the perfect balance. The little girl that sits in the front row can be the apple of your eye… and you never actually take a bite… and neither does she. It becomes a silent dance of swirling smiles, and laughter. The occasional tear… the valentine card… Making her parents feel good with your testimony about what a wonderful scholar she is. Nothing ever has to be wrong… and if it isn’t, the picture stays with you for a lifetime. One day you will have to paint it. Sweet, sentimental perfection.

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March 20, 2014 · 12:26 am

Sit Right Back And You’ll Hear A Tale…

Sit Right Back And You'll Hear A Tale...

There was a time when students who hated me and wanted to ridicule me called me Gilligan. I was young and thin and dorky, and they really wanted to belittle me. Well, I started calling my classroom “the Island” and they soon realized that Gilligan was on a deserted island with at least two beautiful babes who were also single. (Yes, I did for a while have two girlfriends at the same time in real life… Well, I did. It’s not completely untrue!) The joke got turned back on them. Kids started to like the class. Some, who learned a lot, began calling me “Professor” instead. We went coconuts for a while. I could say “no pun intended”, but it wouldn’t be true.

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March 19, 2014 · 2:06 am

Open the Golden Door

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This postable Paffooney is really not so wonderfully postable.  It got a little bit moisture damaged in the garage where I found it improperly stored.  It is an oil painting from before I had a family of my own back in the 1980’s.  It is called Madonna of the Golden Door.  The girl is my sister, the younger of my two sisters.  The boy is one of my favorite students from the 1980’s, one I fed and helped raise in addition to being his teacher for two years.
This painting inspired the following silly free verse poem;

Open the Golden Door 

Can a man…

Love a boy?

Not a son,

Not a nephew,

Not an in-law…

Just a boy?

Not for lust,

Not for profit,

Not for gain,

But for the gift…

Of being able…

To teach,

To learn,

To coach,

To cheer,

To mentor,

To shadow,

To see,

To feel,

To reach,

To hug?

Simply to love?

I would say yes…

But what do I know?

I am only a…

Teacher,

Author,

Poet,

Painter,

Wizard,

Instructor,

Confidante,

Mentor,

And Friend.

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The Family Outing

The Family Outing

This acrylic painting is called “the Family Outing”. Believe it or not, I painted it before I was even married. How did I know that families have to constantly fight dragons together? Well, before I became the dad with the sword, I was the son watching from the mouth of the cave. The mom in the picture is not my wife. No dragon would ever dare attack my wife. The helpless blonde was more like an old eighties girlfriend, a much less dangerous woman. The dragon, of course, is only just barely dangerous. He represents something like fear of death and dismemberment, not the kind of life threatening dangers of married life, like credit card bills.

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March 17, 2014 · 1:43 am

The Aztec

The Aztec

This acrylic painting on canvas board represents 23 years of teaching at a middle school in Cotulla, Texas. President Lyndon B. Johnson once taught in Cotulla. He referred to it as the “donkeyhole” of Texas, but for some reason always spelled donkey with an “a”. Many of the students are Spanish speakers. What am I saying? MOST of the students are Spanish speakers. Their version of Spanish, though, has many Native American words in it, especially Aztec words. Almost all of my students, though, were not Mexican. They were born in the U.S. Most were born in South Texas.

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March 16, 2014 · 1:12 am

Action and Adventure

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I tend to be a Young Adult Fiction writer.  There are lots of reasons.  Not the least of which are all the many wonderful and horrible things that have happened to me as a result of being a public school teacher.  I also have since early childhood dearly loved and emulated comic books.  Marvel and DC, Charleton and Gold Key, and nowadays Black Horse and Image Comics… They have all incited me to crazy wild stories of science fiction action and adventure.  My first novel (first published, not written) called Aeroquest was a science fiction story of  young space ninjas with psionic super powers who are the classroom students of an action hero named Ged Aero who is teacher, explorer, hunter, and psionic shape-changer himself.

So is it just because I like to read action adventure in books and comic books?  Not at all.  I believe you can’t live life without partaking in action adventure.   There are lots of ways that teachers become action adventure heroes and never get credit for doing it.  I once faced off against a boy armed with sharp metal ninja throwing stars who was intent on killing another boy who was in my class at the time.  Together with the history teacher and an assistant principal who got thrown to the ground we stood up to the apparently psychotic boy, and made him give up on the attack.  He ran off into the nearby woods and was later apprehended there by the deputies from the Sheriff’s office.  This is a kid that I personally knew and taught.  If I hadn’t been able to talk to the kid before that day and connect with him at least a little bit, we might have suffered a lot more damage from him than we ended up with that fateful day.  And that isn’t the only life-threatening situation I have been in.   I can’t count how many fights I broke up, bomb threats and threats of violence I’ve dealt with, and situations I was able to tip off the administration about because I actually talk to kids, win their trust, and listen to what they say.  Teaching is an action adventure sort of job, and violence can be successfully defended against with reason, wit, and preparation.  Understand me, though, I am not the only action adventure hero among the members of the teaching profession.  I have stood next to women of small stature that could handle linebacker-sized bullies and leave the bullies quaking in fear.  One teacher I knew was robbed in San Antonio when she was carrying money earned in a fund raiser by her class.  She chased the thief down a public street screaming for help and tackled the guy herself.  People around her were stunned at first, but then helped her subdue the guy.  She got the money back, made the newspapers for her outstanding courage, and helped put the thief in prison for a very long time.  Good teachers are action adventure heroes.  It’s in the job description.  You could look it up.

So that leads to today’s Paffooney.  These three kids tackling the raging lion-man from the Aslani Star Mines Corporation are Aeroquest mutant ninja space babies from my novel.  Rocket Rogers (on the left) and Phoenix (looking at us for assistance on the right) are both psionic pyros who control fire with their minds.  Taffy King (the half-reptilian, half-human girl in the middle) has the power of telekinesis.  But the ultimate lesson behind action and adventure is that no matter how tense the situation gets and no matter how drastically dangerous things are, there are peaceful and non-violent solutions to everything.  By surrounding the lion man with fire and burning up the air he needs to breathe, the two pyros render him unconscious, while Taffy has prevented him from getting his hands on Phoenix by using a wall of flying knives to dissuade him.  I intend to write a lot more action and adventure before I’m through and decide like a Sioux warrior that a good day to die has finally arrived.

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The Magic Man’s Daughter

The Magic Man's Daughter

This oil painting reflects my love of the Native American culture of spirituality and connection to the natural world. Behind Wakanhca (the Magic Man or shaman), his young daughter has been bathing and is confronted with a glowing stag. Lightning in the background confirms that this is a lightning dream of a spirit animal. I used images that were as authentically Dakota Sioux as my silly old German-American brain could manage.

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March 12, 2014 · 3:00 pm