
Sometimes you just have to put together something crazy. This is a combination of colored pencil, ceramic egg-man painted with acrylic, and a photoshopped photo. Definitely a looney Paffooney.

Sometimes you just have to put together something crazy. This is a combination of colored pencil, ceramic egg-man painted with acrylic, and a photoshopped photo. Definitely a looney Paffooney.
In my hometown novels, Catch a Falling Star and Snow Babies so far, the Norwall Pirates are a critical feature of the humor, pathos, and fantasy elements. I know it’s pure conceitedness to think that I really understand kids, but I do. It comes from the fact that I was one once. In fact, I was one of the worst of the breed. Milt Morgan, the grand wizard, the Merlin of the original Pirates is a little bit me, only a bit more magical. He and Brent Clarke found the Pirate organization in the 1970’s. He is a practicer of prestidigitation , a liar, and a story-teller. He makes the Pirates, a group of small town boys, in his own image, a sort of mystical liars’ club. The fantasy elements; journeys to the Dreamlands, Pellucidar, alien invasions by Tellerons, encounters with ghosts and the undead spirits called the Lonelies, all stem from the imagination and wonder that he establishes. Brent Clarke is his Arthur, King and mighty man at arms. Being the best athlete of the group, Brent provides the muscle for the Little Wizard’s wild schemes. Brent is a natural born leader, having defeated a demonic tom cat, pure black, by the name of Fondamn. After his catricidal feat, Brent is forever after known as Brent “the Cat” Clarke.
The original group, after battling werewolves and undead Chinese wizards, drift apart to various other careers and lives. The story-teller’s little sister, though, is not ready to let a good thing die out. In the 1980’s Mary Phillips becomes the new Pirate Leader, recruiting boys into the club like her best friend the Polack, Pidney Breslow. Pidney is the boy next door, a football hero, and really rather dense. But he has a good heart with which he truly loves Mary. Mary recruits another girl too, so that the Pirates’ club isn’t all about farting and lying and spying on girls in the school locker rooms. That girl is the lovely Valerie Clarke, Brent’s young cousin. She is the most beautiful little girl that Norwall ever produced, and the fair Princess Valerie goes on to succeed Mary as the Pirates’ fearless leader.
In the early 1990’s, the club falls into the hands of another Clarke cousin, Timothy Kellogg. Tim is all boy, except for that one time when he is turned into a girl by alien technology. Tim is responsible for leading the Pirates through an alien invasion, a siege of time traveling robot boys, and an invasion of ghosts and unquiet spirits.
So, there you have it. The Norwall Pirates. Liars, braggarts, bullies, boys, a couple of girls, and a 4-H softball team that never seems to win. They are not entirely my invention. They are completely grounded in the kids I grew up with, the kids I have taught, and versions of my own three irrepressible children. As I said, I know about kids. And I intend to use what I know to commit intolerable acts of pure fantasy fiction.
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Being a collector of stuffed animals and all manner of twelve-inch dolls and action figures, I often find myself staring into painted eyes. What do they see when they look back at me?
I am kind and caring when I deal with dolls. I handle them carefully because wear and tear reduce their value. I am guilty, however, of all kinds of crimes of fashion visited on defenseless Barbie dolls and G.I. Joes. I have a pile of naked Goodwill Barbies, some missing limbs, some missing heads… I use them all for replacement parts. I dress figures in anything and everything that I have available. It results in some very embarrassing costumes.
What would happen if they were given a chance to do to me what I have done with them? Such thoughts led me to the somewhat creepy Paffooney that I’m posting today. I certain some dolls would very much like to decide how to use my arms, or put a dress with big red hearts on it upon me whether it fits or not. Of course, I used a girl who might play with dolls as the subject of the picture. You wouldn’t want to see a partially naked fat old man with white beard and lots of hair. Believe me, you wouldn’t.
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Sometimes you create something and reach an impasse beyond which you cannot seem to go. Such happened with this double portrait of a young Native American and a noble stag. I wanted to create a picture behind a curtain of snowfall. The problem… I liked the picture too much to risk painting snowflakes and dots of white all over it. How easily I could’ve turned the whole thing into a miasma of pockmarks and polka dots! In order to go forward, you have to risk a total whangaroo of everything you have already accomplished. It isn’t just oil paintings that can happen to. My teaching career… every novel I’ve ever attempted… my family… Everything you do in life risks blowing everything all to Hell. There is simply no safe endeavor to be found. If it’s safe… it simply isn’t worth doing. You will never get the full effect. Okay, so here’s the thing… I keep sitting in front of this painting, staring at it, and wondering how good or how awful it will be if I dare to go forward.
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I painted this oil painting of Bambi-esques from a dream I had long before I met my wife. I admit, I didn’t actually finish it until a couple of years after we were married, but I have always felt it predicted what my family would be like. We now have two boys and a girl, two bucks and a doe. I am certainly not as majestic as poppa deer in the picture, but he is in general very like me in his cartoonish mildness and Disney-like gaze. It is a weird thing to feel you have to live up to a painting, but it is also weird to paint from a dream and then have it be a prophecy come true.

In many ways all my fiction is actually historical fiction. I am very careful about settings, times, and histories of my characters, since many of them are real people. I can only conceal who they are by changing their histories in the slightest of ways. The way of life I am trying to depict is always the real one I experienced, even when I dip back into the past beyond the reach of my memory. I can call upon the testimony and witness of others. I have relatives that tell stories about what life was like on the farm before there was electricity, before there was TV, before there was such a thing as a horseless carriage. I know what my little town was like a hundred years ago. I know who the important were. I know how things functioned all the way back to 1855. These are things that not only make my writing have purpose, but make it vibrate the very roots of my being by resonating with the stories of my ancestors and those who came before.

Sometimes we have to take a moment to look at the inner landscape… and realize that it can look very different from what is real.

William Blake is a favorite poet of mine because he had a super-vivid imagination and he was basically loonier than pig who wears a bow tie and coat, but no pants… and eats bacon. He could look at a cloud, and he claimed that he could see the entire heavenly host arrayed there. He believed in free love and open marriage, but was strictly faithful to his one beloved wife. Contradictions are what makes him who he is. His book Songs of Innocence and Experience, an early independently published book full of poetry and artwork, contains the poem about the Tyger (Blake’s personal misspelling) that inspired the Paffooney presented here. The Tyger represents danger… rather than evil… and the danger inherent in God’s creation rather than the devil or Satan. The poem is often paired with the poem about the Lamb, or the poem about the Worm. Opposition. Juxtaposition. The very essence of surrealism. So, I have tried to place a certain amount of menace in innocence in opposition to each other in this drawing.
It began with the day back in 2000 when Deke Moreno was credited with saving my life. I was in the classroom, in the middle of a vocabulary lesson. I hadn’t felt particularly well that morning. In fact, I felt like I must be coming down with another virus. It reached a point where my temples were pounding, my chest hurt, and I couldn’t move. I sat in my chair in the front, completely motionless, something I rarely did before that day. Eighteen seventh graders were suddenly looking at me with large, round eyes. I was the favorite teacher of a few, hated by many, and the object of some indifference to the rest. Still, they were suddenly silent and unified in their concern.
“Is something wrong?” asked Deke.
“Come here…” I waggled my hand at him.
Deke came up to me. “Push the intercom button… call for help.” That was, of course, his moment of heroism, his life-saving act.
The assistant principal, whose son was in my GT Class, came in and checked me out. The head principal and the secretary who really ran the school were close behind him. The AP didn’t waste a moment. They got the wheel chair from the nurse’s office and wheeled me to his car. He drove me himself to the local clinic. My blood pressure was through the roof. I would’ve died easily had my heart not received some medicine to reduce the strain. It was a mystery ailment then. Before the year was out, I found out that I had diabetes. My diet would change. My lifestyle would change. I missed work more often. I began to get in trouble with the administration for not being able to find the perfect balance between order and chaos (where good lessons lie) any longer. The work got harder and harder. I developed a disorder that led to frequently passing out. I began to collect things like stamps and action figures as a way to put the universe back into some kind of sensible order. I had a young family. My two youngest children both came along during the time I was first learning to cope with the disease. When we moved to the Dallas Metroplex to be nearer to my wife’s family, I managed to get stressed out at my new job, and the one-year probationary period I got with the Lewisville School District undid all the years of building skills and community confidence. I lost my teaching position. It took two long years of substitute teaching to get it back. Sometime in the future I will have to write the ultimate horror story of being a “good sub”.
Now, I know you are going to find me a total fool for saying this, but Type Two Diabetes is the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Yes, I know how crazy that sounds in view of what the disease did to my life, but I have gained benefits that I would not have otherwise gained. Dealing with the disease and having to make a comeback has made me an infinitely better teacher. I see students with fresh eyes and a renewed sense of urgency.
The most important thing is that now I have to live each day for the value it has, rather than for what the future may bring. When Wordsworth spoke of those “spots of time” where the eyes are suddenly opened and everything is seen in a new way, he was talking about what was destined to happen to me on a daily basis. There are things that you put off for the sake of a career like teaching. All of us are a Mr. Holland in some way. We all have our Opus that we must somehow get around to completing. I have been working on mine steadily for thirty years, but I never really put it into words before as I have done since I lost my teaching job. My Opus comes from some of those two thousand children whose lives I touched, whose lives touched, grabbed, jerked, mangled, caressed, or twitched mine. The story I have to tell is a story about the loves and longings of teens like poor Deke, who played football, fought with his mother over grades, got into trouble with the law, had many high school sweethearts, and saved my life one fateful day. Some of my former students are now dead. Some are in prison. But some are successful business men and successful parents. Some thanked me for being their teacher. And, though most of them rarely actually listened and heard me say it, or read my comments in their class journals, I constantly thanked them for being my students, too. Each and every one of them.
I have a good chance to live for many years yet. With more attention from doctors and more careful planning and good conduct I have a good chance to finish my teaching career on a strong note. I have thirty-one years of service in the books. But I must write now, too, because the dark wind of mortality is blowing out of the near future and signaling approaching storms.
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