Cover Creation

My goal, as I learn how to be a better self-published author, is to do all my own artwork.  This is one of the advantages I have over working with the other publishers I have published books with.  Page Publishing, to be fair, did use my artwork.  But they also controlled the cover design (since that was what I was paying for).

Planning to publish two more novels this winter, I am working ahead to create effective covers.  So let me show you how I fumbled together a cover today.

Here are the artwork elements that I started with;

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I then put the elements together with a photo-editing program.

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I then added the finishing touches with the paint program.

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I can probably be satisfied with this result.  But I am a fickle artsy-fartsy type who will probably fuss it all up well before I actually use it.

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Reading Twain for a Lifetime

As I continue to read old books, I wish to re-post this as a reminder of my opinion about the best Old-Book writer I know.

authormbeyer's avatarCatch a Falling Star

mark-twain

I wish to leave no doubt unturned like a stone that might have treasure hidden under it.  I love the works of Samuel L. Clemens, better known as Mark Twain.

I have read and studied his writing for a lifetime, starting with The Adventures of Tom Sawyerwhich I read for myself in the seventh grade, after seeing the musical movie Tom Sawyer starring Johnny Whittaker as Tom.  I caught a severe passion, more serious than a head-cold, for the wit and wisdom with which Twain crafted a story.  It took me a while to acquire and read more… but I most definitely did.  I took an American Literature course in college that featured Twain, and I read and analyzed The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.  I also bought a copy of Pudd’nhead Wilson which I would later devour in the same thoroughly literate and pretentious manner as I…

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Celebrity Endorsements

I need to figure out marketing if I am ever going to make a dent as an author.  So I got together $11.75 and hired two stuffed celebrities to endorse my books.  Fozzy comes from Goodwill for $4.75, while $7.00 on E-Bay netted me Alf.

20181003_095450Okay, I guess it’s a start.  Maybe not a great start, but a start.20181003_095647

Yeah, maybe Alf needs an attitude adjustment… with a brick.

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Okay, money poorly spent… but it is a good idea.  I need somebody who doesn’t have sawdust in their heads.  How much do you suppose Angelina Jolie charges per endorsement?   Yeah, I’m pretty sure it would be too much for my budget.  Maybe I could get Bette Davis.  She’d be cheap.  But how persuasive are dead people?

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Aeroquest… Canto 38

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Canto 38 – The Master Speaks

      Xavier Tkriashav came back to the planet Zarane for the first time in a quarter of a century.  It had once been home.  By the looks of it, though, they had been through hard times in his absence.  The Downport at Zhdlianta City was run down and nearly deserted.  Only a handful of junky old fossil merchant ships still traveled in and out of the place.  The lone military ship that once had carried a hundred teleport commandos aloft sat broken down and thoroughly pirate-scarred in its dry-dock.

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The Megadeath sat down on what once had been the Psion Emperor’s landing pad.  No one was there to meet them.  The Lupin Stardog Corsairs filled the empty landing pads surrounding it.  If they had been an invasion force or a raiding party, they would have entered Zarane’s largest city unopposed.  Tkriashav frowned.

“We be jammin’” said Vince Niell.  “Last stop, spooky world of the supersonic headhunters.  Everybody out!”

Tkriashav was the only one who left the safety of the starship willingly.  Everyone else edged out behind him.  Young Rocket Rogers kindled a small ball of flame in his right hand, apparently to be ready in case the worst happened.  He cradled the baby fireball out of sight in his hands.

“Wha…?” said Cold Death as a small rock flew out of the shadows and plunked him on his head.

Vince and Nikki pulled their laser pistols.  Cold Death stupidly rubbed his throbbing head.

“Friends?  Zaranians? Countrymen?  I have returned.  Why is no one here to lend an ear?”

“Go away!” shouted someone in the middle distance.  Vince pointed his weapon in the general direction but could see no one to shoot at.

“The crowd is in the Gallows Stadium!” cried someone else from further away.  “Go there to get what’s coming to you.”

“Jeez, man,” moaned Nikki Sixx, “we should leave now, dude!”

“Yeah, well, I mean…  Wait,” said Tkriashav.  “I know these people better than they know themselves.  They need to hear our good news!”

Resolutely Tkriashav began his march to the Gallows Stadium, expecting everyone else to follow him.  Slowly they did.

On the way, several people saw Tkriashav and his crew.  They all turned tail and sprinted towards the Gallows Stadium.  Word would proceed the Psion Master himself.

The stadium was designed, just as the name suggested, as a place of public execution.  It was, in fact, quite crowded with the current execution nearing its commencement.  As Tkriashav entered through the main gates, all eyes turned his way.  Some few shouted “Hurray!” but many others hissed a “Boo!” at him.  The rest were unnaturally silent.  On the gallows itself were three Nebulons and a white-skinned boy about to be hung.  The adult male Nebulon glared defiantly at Tkriashav with a noose securely around his neck.  The blue-skinned woman and the Nebulon boy were both crying.  The white boy, also balanced precariously with a noose around his throat, looked grim.

Tkriashav marched up to the gallows platform, shoving several planetary officials and Telepathic Monitors aside.  He raised his hands to the crowd.

“Zaranians, I have returned.  I am Tkriashav, First Psion of Zarane from the Aziashav Dynasty.  I know you will not go through with this unwarranted execution!  To have a share in the prosperity I bring, your hands must remain clean of innocent blood.”

“What makes you believe they are innocent!” cried a Telepathic Monitor in a blue turban and Psi-police uniform.

“I can foresee the future.  If you kill them, I see this planet devastated in war.  You have no fleet left!”

“These Nebulon invaders have no real fleet either!  They are Psionic and intend to overrun our world.”

“Have you probed them?”

“The two boys are too powerful.  They shield everyone around them from telepathic probes!” accused a red-turbaned Psion Centurion.

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“Those of you who remember me from twenty years ago will recall my powers of clairvoyance.  I foresee the space whale navies of two entire Nebulonin clans coming to destroy this world.  Every last man of you will lie dead in your own filth for the atrocity you plan to commit here today!  Only if you listen to this blue man do you stand to reap the benefits of the prosperity and high technology that I have brought back to you.”

“Empty words, Tkriashav!” called out Shivitatla, one of Tkriashav’s former political rivals.  “You may have predicted your own disappearance and return, but you failed to predict the death of Aziashav II.  The world of Zarane has gone to ruin in your absence.  Stardogs and Nebulons are to blame.  They decimated our fleets and dropped colonies on all the empty worlds in this sector!”

“Perhaps,” said Tkriashav grimly, “you need to hear why.  Did you give this Nebulon ambassador a chance to speak?”

“No,” said Shivitatla.  “<You know already why he’s here, don’t you!>” he added in Zaradese.

“<Do you?>” The force of Tkriashav’s reply made Shivitatla stagger backwards.

“Let the Psion Master give us proof!” shouted a Psi-police Lieutenant.  “I would hear the evidence!”

“Let the Nebulon speak!” said Tkriashav.

“He’s a stupid Space Smurf!” cried several.  “He doesn’t know Galactic English!”

“Can you speak to us?” Tkriashav asked the blue man directly.

“I can speaken Galagic Engrish!” he said in a thick, but understandable accent.  “I need to speaken!”

The crowd grew hushed at the surprising revelation.  Xavier Tkriashav walked up to the man and removed the noose from his neck.  “Speaken,” he said.

“I am for Clannish Sinjarac talken!” said the blue man.  “I am Ambassador Jor.  My clan has left the Great Nebula from before I am bornen.  Tshizcaruc!  We are refugees of a great war.  We leaven the Pan Galactic Union because of Faceless Horde.  We leaven Imperial Borders because of pirates and Galtorrian monster men.  We been many killed by your kind.  We beg for place to stayen!  We like many other mens.  We bleed.  We feel sorrow.  Give us any worlds you want.  Airless okay!  Gas Giants!  We live where you do not!  We only want peace, a place to belongen.”

“Let me add this,” said Tkriashav, “I am a powerful clairvoyant.  I know what course will bring us happiness!  This man offers you something you need from Nebulons, peace and friendship.  I can also show you proof that the prophecies of Xan have come true.”

“A new White Spider?” asked Shivitatla amazed.

“Yes.  A man called Ged Aero.  He is on a planet called Gaijin, not many parsecs from here.  He will rebuild an Empire and create a new future for us.”

“I hope you can prove that,” said Shivitatla, “but if you can, then I yield to you.  Your way could be right after all.  I will not stand in the way of Xan’s Prophecy.”

The people began cheering.  The government officials began chattering amongst themselves.  The possibilities began to open their minds and hearts.

“I thanken you for saving us,” said Jor to Tkriashav.  “I am grateful for the lives of my son, Gyro, my wife, Natasha, and this young cowsboy, Billy Iowa.”

“I had a dream about this,” Tkriashav said, helping Jor to free his family, “and if it comes true, we will all be thanking you and your family.”

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Marching Into the Sunrise

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Life isn’t exactly fair.  After working hard at being a teacher for 31 years, I was forced to retire by poor health.

I have diabetes.  And I was told recently by medical professionals that if I have a heart attack, I probably won’t be able to feel it coming on.  Not much hope for surviving it when it comes.

Retirement for me has been a matter of diminishing returns.  Reduced income gradually led to hospital bills I couldn’t pay and predatory banks with toothy credit card deals forcing me into bankruptcy.  Now I can’t afford to pay rising property taxes on a house that is falling apart from foundation problems and old age.  So, in the near future, we will lose the house.

But I am not ready to give up and die just yet.  I still have stories to tell.  There are still people who care about me.   I still have the ability to tell a joke or two and make people either smile a little or cringe a little.  I have already published six good novels filled with a bit of humor and a lot of life.

Let tomorrow come.  I am ready.  Time to face it like a good soldier, marching forward, weapons at the ready.  Even if the bright sun is in my old eyes.

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Character References, Part 3

When choosing who’s picture to publish of all the many made-up people that live in my head and my fiction, I often wonder, do I have an accurate sense of who is important and who is merely minor?  I offer now some characters I don’t feel comfortable leaving out.

Mazie Haire

Mazie Haire

One of the Haire Sisters, rumored to be a witch, and proud to prove it to you, Mazie is a severe and highly focused individual with a knack for seeing and convincing you of the truth.  So, maybe she really is a witch.

She appears in;

Snow Babies

 

 

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Milton John Morgan (Milt)

I can’t tell you about the witch without mentioning the wizard.  Milt Morgan is the Merlin of the Norwall Pirates (an adventuring gang and 4-H softball team).

He is one of the founders of the gang and the one who got them into the most trouble in the 1970’s.

He appears in;

Superchicken

The Baby Werewolf

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Torrie Brownfield

Torrie is the hair-everywhere boy with hypertrichosis, the werewolf-hair disease.  He was genetically doomed to life looking like a werewolf.  He was discovered living in hiding in Norwall by the Pirates’ gang who decided they simply had to make him a member.

He is, of course, the main character of;

The Baby Werewolf

And also appears in;

Recipes for Gingerbread Children

 

Harker

Harker Dawes

Harker is a clown-character based on a real person living in the real town of Norwall.  He buys the local hardware store and runs the business into bankruptcy.  He is not only a ne’er-do-well, but he also is a truly loveable fool.

He plays a key role in;

Snow Babies

He is also in the upcoming novel;

Fools and Their Toys

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Dilsey Murphy

Dilsey is Mike’s slightly older sister who seems to be in a lot of my stories.  She is a tomboy and a Daddy’s girl.  She is also beloved by her irascible Grampy, Cudgel Murphy.  Mike Murphy both hates her and loves her, but mostly just depends on her.

She is in;

Magical Miss Morgan

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

and a large number of upcoming stories

 

 

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Sean “Cudgel” Murphy

Grampy of the Murphy Clan, Cudgel is the meanest old man you’d ever want to meet.  He is excellently suited to the job of teaching kids to swear.  And he only drives his Austin Hereford, “The finest car made anywhere in the whole goddam world in 1954!”

He appears in;

Snow Babies

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

Crooner

Francois Martin

Francois, the French orphan, is the main character in my current manuscript,

Sing Sad Songs.

He paints his face in clown paint and sings beautifully enough to save his Uncle’s business.  I am halfway finished with this new novel.

So, now I feel like I have exhausted myself in character introductions and will probably eschew a “Part 4”.  But with Mickey, there are no guarantees.

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Hidden Kingdom (through page 12)

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HK1x

H21x

HK41

HK31

Hk51

HK61

 

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hk81

hk91

hk101

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A Character Reference, Part 2

Yesterday an inconvenient internet outage interrupted my fountain of character gushing.  So let me splash a couple more on here.

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Tim Kellogg

Tim is a school teacher’s son who is sorta, kinda, based on my own oldest son… and maybe a little bit on me.  He’s clever, creative, a natural leader, and only slightly evil part of the time.

Tim is a main character in;

Catch a Falling Star

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

Magical Miss Morgan

 

Grandma Gretel

 

Grandma Gretel Stein

Gretel is a German survivor of the concentration camps who sees and talks to fairies on a regular basis.  She also bakes magically delicious gingerbread cookies.  And loves to tell stories to those who eat her cookies.

She is a main character in;

Recipes for Gingerbread Children

She is an important character in;

Superchicken

The Baby Werewolf

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The Primary Cast of Recipes for Gingerbread Children (left to right) Grandma Gretel, the cookie baker, Todd Niland, handsome young farm boy and cookie-eater, Sherry Cobble, nudist and junior high cheerleader, and Sandy Wickham, cookie-eater and Todd Niland’s crush.

My Art 2 of Davalon

Farbick

He’s the alien Telleron pilot and good guy aboard Xiar’s space ship who gets shot during the failed invasion of Iowa and helps save the planet in the near future.  He’s a main character in;

Catch a Falling Star

Stardusters and Space Lizards

Davalon (re-named David by the couple who adopts him)

Dav is the alien boy accidentally lost on earth in Catch a Falling Star, and leader of the young explorers in Stardusters and Space Lizards.

Superchick

Edward-Andrew Campbell, the Superchicken

It is possible E-A is really me.  He bears my high school nickname.  He is a boy trying to cope with being the new kid in a tightly knit little Iowa farm town.

He is the main character in;

Superchicken

 

 

I fear I am still a long way from done with referring to characters in my books.  But more waits for another day.

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A Character Reference

Humble Admission

Millis

 

 

Millis

He was once an ordinary pet rabbit, transformed through an accident involving a time-traveler’s alien-created mechanical carrot.

He is a character in;

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

 

 

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       Mike Murphy and Blueberry Bates (his girlfriend)  (She forced me to write that last thing, Mike.)

Mike is a member of the Murphy clan who resides in Murphy Mansion with many other Murphys.  Blueberry is the girl who chased him until she caught him and turned him into her boyfriend.

Seen in the novels;

The Bicycle Wheel Genius

Magical Miss Morgan

Catch a Falling Star  (only Mike is in that one)  (He forced me to write that, Blue)

Val in the Yard

Valerie Clarke

Valerie is a young Iowan farmgirl who lost her father far too soon.  She loves skateboards, 80’s music, and boys, especially boys who can sing.

She is a main character in;

Snow Babies

Sing Sad Songs

She is also an important character in;

The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

 

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Sherry Cobble

Sherry and her twin sister, Shelly, look almost exactly alike.  They are, with both of their parents, practicing nudists.  They love being nude at home on the farm, at the Sunshine Club in Clear Lake, and at school when they can get away with it (which is mostly a matter of girls’ locker rooms.)

Sherry and her twin are important characters in;

Superchicken

     Recipes for Gingerbread Children

     The Baby Werewolf

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     Orben Wallace, bicycle engineer

Orben came to Norwall after a tragic fire in his home and laboratory killed his family.  He switched from physics to bicycle engineering and opened a new lab where it is rumored that he also created sentient robots, time travel machines, supercomputers, and had relationships with aliens and time travelers.  Of course the only physical proof of anything are the bicycles he made.

He is a main character in; The Bicycle-Wheel Genius

He is also an important character in; Catch a Falling Star

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Anneliese Stein

Anneliese is a gingerbread cookie brought back to life through magical baking skills of her human mother, Grandma Gretel Stein.  She was also a human girl in the 1930’s and early 1940’s who also had, unfortunately, a Jewish father.  Okay, I know… I will explain better later.

She is an important character in;

Recipes for Gingerbread Children

 

This will have to be finished another day.  I have too many more characters to show you, and my Internet is giving out.

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Essential Sorting

The internet is a golden treasure chest with an attached bag of holding for me.  In other words, a lot of the writing I do depends heavily on a resource that didn’t really exist until I was almost 40 years old.  I save stuff from my eclectic surfing forays in computer files that tend to become amazingly complex garbage dumps.  So today, I decided to sort one of them to go through stuff I thought might make an interesting blog post.

So, let me show you some of the treasures I have found that could become upcoming blog posts.   I will go through the sorted files from July of 2018.

The Dragon Prince

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This is a funny, fascinating, D&D-type adventure series from Netflix and the creators of Avatar, the Last Air Bender.

I have recently watched the entire first season, and love this show enough to write a gushing love-review.

Fresh Off the Boat

This is a show on regular TV, the ABC network.  It is about an immigrant family originally from China.  I think I am married to the spiritual twin of the lead female character, an obsessively controlling Asian wife who has to have her fingers in every single pie in the neighborhood.

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It is chocked full of little things that are both bizarre and funny about Asian cultures being assimilated in this country.  And the kids are cute and extremely talented.

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Gene Colan

Gene Colan was one of my favorite comic book artists in the 70’s and 80’s.  I will probably do a more in-depth biography post on him in the future because he really helped me learn to draw in pen and ink.  I copied his work from Daredevil, Howard the Duck, and Tomb of Dracula.  But all of the work I will show you is done not by me, but by Gene.

Miscellany

This is the stuff that didn’t need its own folder.

 

Twitter Nudists

This is one I might not be able to use and still maintain a mild R-rating.  But I am, in fact, a member of the online nudist community.

Theodore Roethke

This one was already turned into a good blog post.

The Wizard of Ozz

It goes without saying, nobody can have too many Wizard of Oz pictures.

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